Alexandria :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Breaking News: Alexandria Protesters Arrested
Posted by:
Killer B’s
()
Date: September 23, 2018 11:38AM
In breaking news this morning, an elite group of Alexandria police, working in conjunction with special units of the Sugarland internal security forces, arrested a group of alleged protesters in the city of Alexandria.
The move followed an email from the Rt. Rev. Robert Hiller Malm, Archbishop of Sugarland, who alerted authorities that the group had left the space reserved for “defaming/slandering” protestors.
“Of course I support the First Amendment,” said Malm. “But those dysfunctional idiots know that they are permitted to protest only in the area under the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, and only between 2:13 and 2:18 AM. That’s more than enough time for their low-grade evil.”
As of press time this morning, your intrepid FFXU reporter had observed Archbishop Malm’s procession leaving the golf course, surrounded by the flabellum and other symbols of his uthority. He is believed to be en route to the Sugarland police department, where Malm and his minion, Jeff Chiow, will question the prisoners used “enhanced interrogation” techniques, including singing “What a friend we have in Jesus” to the protesters.
Details at 11.
Attachments:
The move followed an email from the Rt. Rev. Robert Hiller Malm, Archbishop of Sugarland, who alerted authorities that the group had left the space reserved for “defaming/slandering” protestors.
“Of course I support the First Amendment,” said Malm. “But those dysfunctional idiots know that they are permitted to protest only in the area under the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, and only between 2:13 and 2:18 AM. That’s more than enough time for their low-grade evil.”
As of press time this morning, your intrepid FFXU reporter had observed Archbishop Malm’s procession leaving the golf course, surrounded by the flabellum and other symbols of his uthority. He is believed to be en route to the Sugarland police department, where Malm and his minion, Jeff Chiow, will question the prisoners used “enhanced interrogation” techniques, including singing “What a friend we have in Jesus” to the protesters.
Details at 11.
Attachments: