Sugarland Police, acting in concert with other state and local authorties, raided a winemaker accused of threatening Episcopal priest Bob Malm, rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria. The move came following allegations that the winemaker had produced a product referred to as “Killer B” wine.

“When I saw this blatantly terroristic and harassing threat, I knew we had to act immediately,” said Malm attorney Jeff Chiow. “People see this and are in imminent fear for their lives.”

“Anyone who would do such a thing is sick and twisted,” said Malm. “We just want them arrested. They clearly have violated some sort of law,” adding, “You may not consider them dangerous or violent, but many at Grace do.”

Officials report that the subject is being held in a SuperMax cell awaiting trial.

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Attachments:

Find a rehab facility.

You are acting like an insane person.

If it looks like a duck...

Go to bed. Or you will be late to your sign twirling duty on the street corner.

My, that diet isn’t working, is is dear? Fatter and angrier than ever.

PS Don’t wander around in the dark when you’ve been drinking or smoking weed. You know we worry about you!