A large swarm of angry killer bees was spotted departing Sugarland, Texas this morning headed east at around 10 mph. Where are they headed? The Big Easy? Miami Beach? Alexandria, VA to commit an act of domestic terrorism at Grace Episcopal Church?

Stay tuned right here at Fairfax Underground for updates.
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A breaking news story from the Studio 54 newsroom: Several members of the Pittsburgh Steelers were arrested this afternoon for threatening acts of domestic terrorism after referring to themselves as “The Killer B’s.” Alexandria Virginia Episcopal priest Robert Malm, reportedly terrified by the news, has allegedly fled to a secure location in Sugarland Texas, where he and his attorney were reportedly holed up in the basement of the local church.

“I brought some booze,” Malm reportedly said to eyewitnesses adding, “Just to be safe, we’re taking the elevator.You know what happened last time I mixed it up with gravity.”

Bishop Shannon Johnston responded saying, “I don’t get it. We told them they could give money. In fact, we even added them to our email list.”

Pat Wingo, secure in a new diocese said, “Knock it off...I’ve barely unpacked.”

Fanny Belanger, who left ahead of the threats, told reporters, “c'est terrible!” as she fled to safety of the French embassy.

The Sugarland police department has set up a security perimeter around the church, and the National Guard is responding to this major crisis.

Details on this breaking news story at 11.
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Oh Eric,

You sound like you need help, my dear!

There are free clinics where you can ask for help, in case your insurance through William Sonoma does not cover psychiatric health.

Oh you do too, dear. Maybe you can be like Leslie Malm and call some of my friends in tears to tell them how you’re hiding in the basement. Or get James to do it...he sounds convincing

I was going to ask you to refrain from bringing people's family members into your personal vendettas, but I cant do that as you are unable to be sympathetic to the trauma that that causes. You see, I cannot expect you to understand that, as you never felt the love of family and was rarely cared for by anyone other than your husband. You should try and remember how upset you were when your husband's job clearance was questioned and you lost your cool. Try to remember that other people care for their loved ones and not everyone have to create an imaginary circle of support, as they have real people in their lives who care and cherish them.

It is really really sad that you do not know what that is like!

Yes, given Bob’s propensity for involving family members, no sympathy from me on that score.

Oh, and I have never lost my cool over this or any related issues. When Kirk decided to try that tack, I simply put word out on social media. And Grace church has been shedding members and attendance ever since.