We have some late-breaking developments from St. Dysfunction. Jeff Chiow, Dysfunctional Bob’s attorney, sent over a proposed settlement agreement yesterday — a complete waste of time for both sides.

At this juncture, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to share specifics, but there’s one really notable thing about the proposal, which is that there is nothing in it that even remotely suggests that the other party is a church, let alone that the individuals involved claim to be Christians. All it is is a relatively badly drafted quasi-commercial release and satisfaction, and ludicrously one-sided at that. Additionally, nothing in the proposal would stop Dysfunctional Bob from his usual behind-the-scenes manipulation and innuendo aka “Is that healthy?” (Think a really narcissistic group of sorority sisters, and you’d have a good idea of Bob’s antics. Petty plots, power plays, who’s popular, who’s not. And heaven help you if you offend the girls in the “in crowd”—you won’t get invited to the next Tri Delt rush party. Horrors!)

Then there’s the perennial issue of Defamation Per Se Leslie Malm, and her claims that I am a stalker. Obviously, as an adult, she is responsible for her own actions, and since I do not view women as chattel, I don’t expect that Bob can or should control her actions. That said, nothing in the agreement would address those issues, and I am following up on those matters separately.

Of course, as one person close to the matter said to me, “We both know Bob’s not a real priest.” And to that I say, “Truer words were never spoken.” And it has nothing to do with Catholic, or Episcopal, or Orthodox; it has to do with Bob’s worldview, which is that his is a job, nothing more. Thus, one should not expect much from someone who’s basically a superannuated frat boy.

So, things continue to go forward, just in time for the fall pledge drive.

Fun times on Sorority Row.