Fairfax, VA-
Tonight Mike Smith ate all the wings he could eat at Primetime Sports Bar located at 1250 James Swart Circle Fairfax, Virginia. Primetime managing partner Nick Cordero said, 'Man... as soon as I saw this guy roll up to the bar I knew we were fucked. There goes our food costs for the month. No... more like the quarter.' Witnesses differ on the number of wings Mr. Smith consumed but accounts range from twenty five to fifty to 'I dunno, damn near a hundred?!' While Mr. Smith said he was 'all about the wings, bro' he did not hesitate to avail himself of the unlimited fries which are also included in the Wednesday night $16.95 promotion.
When asked why he was patronizing the bar by himself he said 'man, you know how it would be if Eric came. He'd eat a wing or two, start talking on that Grace Episcopal shit, next thing you know you're sitting next to Alex Jones.' Mr. Smith ate one last wing then remarked 'ok, guess it's time to pack it in and let this food digest. Fuelin' my gains, yo.' We asked him if he was at risk of a food coma on his drive back to Alexandria and he said 'huh? I live across the street. I walked here.'
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