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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Is this a joke?
Posted by:
craigslist ad..
()
Date: April 03, 2008 04:44PM
Bodyguard / Driver Wanted – Applicant To Perform Both Jobs
Job description:
You will drive to the Gaithersburg MD area to pick me and possibly 1 companion up at ~9-10pm on specified night. You will not enter private residence. Companion may need to be picked up by us together elsewhere in local MD/DC/NOVA area but will not be further then a 30 minute drive typically from my area. I and companion will always ride in backseat. Some nights I may plan to drive my own sports car one way / to the destination and in this case you will either ride shotgun or will be able to take up 2 bucket seat spaces in backseat. Destination for an evening will be a club or event venue in Washington DC, where I may or may not be hosting a party. After event / club closing or at possibly earlier time to leave you will act as driver to safely bring me and possible companion back to my residence in Gaithersburg, MD or to another local within ~30 minutes location. If to other location you will then be finished for the evening and may leave. If my sports car was the mode of transportation for the evening then you will be compensated for your time to get transportation back to where you had safely parked your car earlier in Gaithersburg, MD, as well as paid for the needed cab fair. Smoking will not be permitted within either vehicle. At club venues smoking will be permitted if on a roof deck or in a private room where allowable. No narcotic drugs will be allowable in my presence at anytime as well. Legal self-medications with current doctor’s prescriptions of course being the exception to the rule. Dress required will be dress shirt and suit, tie may or may not be needed depending upon the venue and event. No driver cap or gloves needed while on road as I want to remain casual and inconspicuous. You will not open doors for me to the car or at events. Some nights might require even more casual with only dress slacks and dress shirt with no jacket. Others could even be in only styled jeans and stylish shirt. You will be needed to dress to impress and look as I do for the evening so that you do not stand out or draw attention so there is a very small wardrobe requirement. While at venues or clubs you will not be needed to always be in immediate close proximity to me and some space will be appreciated, but you must always remain within earshot and eye contact. You will be allowed to converse with people as long as you only refer to me by my first name and as your friend that you are out with during the evening, never as your employer or boss. A ~2 drink minimum is likely all that I would allow for you to have just to remain inconspicuous and casual, but you must know your limitations and it should never affect your skill to do your job. I will address you by your first or last name, whichever you prefer, but with no titles such as Mr., and you will need to remain on a first name basis with me always. The effect here is that no one should know you are employed by me throughout the course of an evening unless I specifically make mention of this point to a contact as possibly needed. If an unforeseen occurrence should happen within the club or venue your job will be to get me out of there quickly and safely. Confrontations shouldn’t occur as a result of my actions but if again for whatever reason it does occur then your job will simply be again to remove me and possibly a guest from the specific situation while not attempting to engage the threat yourself unless it is absolutely necessary.
Vehicle Required:
Four door passenger vehicle in good service and well maintained. No trucks. Car or SUV must be completely street legal and have good appearance with no outer damage, rust, etc. as well as nothing showy such as tailfins, racer strips, spinners, etc. Preferably a darker colored car / black, with leather interior and legal tint windows but not required. Car must be non-smoking. GPS navigation preferred within but I have portable in the event it doesn’t. Preferred roadside maintenance program as well in case of emergency but if not I have AAA. Must have a spare tire in vehicle and knowledge of how to change one.
Hours Required:
Part-time, only ~1 night a week, likely a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday between the hours of ~9:00pm and ~4:00am. Will have 1 week to as much as 1 month’s advanced notice on what specific nights you will be needed but if you have prior engagements I will need to know in advance for any given month as I do want to be accommodating to your schedule as well as my own.
Qualifications:
Must be fluent in speaking English.
Driving Requirements:
Qualified candidates must have a valid and non-expired current local state or city driver’s license and a low point record. Must have full coverage auto insurance with insured ability to drive another person’s vehicle as well and still be fully covered. Must also possess own health insurance plan as well. There will be Nighttime driving only so having 20/20 vision will be essential and required, whether with or without glasses / contacts.
Body guarding Requirements:
Qualified candidates should have at least a first degree black belt in some form of martial arts and still currently training. Height / build should be proportionate and intimidating preferred. Previous experience record in being a bodyguard of course preferred with references asked for. Not required to carry a licensed firearm / any weapons, nor should you ever have the desire to do so. Expertise preferred in non-violent hand to hand combat and submission / take down such as Jujitsu.
Compensation:
Negotiable. Please include in your email response what your pay range requirements per hour will need to be so that no time is wasted by either of us. I do not want to haggle over my safety or leave you feeling underpaid and thus less likely to do your job in an emergency situation.
Application Procedure:
Please send a response with your hourly pay requirements and other needs / specifications along with your current up to date resume and a recent digital photograph of yourself attached to the email. Photograph of face and body needed. Include your height / weight and qualifications in response email as best as possible if not already listed out on resume.
Compensation: Negotiable. Please include in your email response what your pay range requirements per hour will need to be
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Job description:
You will drive to the Gaithersburg MD area to pick me and possibly 1 companion up at ~9-10pm on specified night. You will not enter private residence. Companion may need to be picked up by us together elsewhere in local MD/DC/NOVA area but will not be further then a 30 minute drive typically from my area. I and companion will always ride in backseat. Some nights I may plan to drive my own sports car one way / to the destination and in this case you will either ride shotgun or will be able to take up 2 bucket seat spaces in backseat. Destination for an evening will be a club or event venue in Washington DC, where I may or may not be hosting a party. After event / club closing or at possibly earlier time to leave you will act as driver to safely bring me and possible companion back to my residence in Gaithersburg, MD or to another local within ~30 minutes location. If to other location you will then be finished for the evening and may leave. If my sports car was the mode of transportation for the evening then you will be compensated for your time to get transportation back to where you had safely parked your car earlier in Gaithersburg, MD, as well as paid for the needed cab fair. Smoking will not be permitted within either vehicle. At club venues smoking will be permitted if on a roof deck or in a private room where allowable. No narcotic drugs will be allowable in my presence at anytime as well. Legal self-medications with current doctor’s prescriptions of course being the exception to the rule. Dress required will be dress shirt and suit, tie may or may not be needed depending upon the venue and event. No driver cap or gloves needed while on road as I want to remain casual and inconspicuous. You will not open doors for me to the car or at events. Some nights might require even more casual with only dress slacks and dress shirt with no jacket. Others could even be in only styled jeans and stylish shirt. You will be needed to dress to impress and look as I do for the evening so that you do not stand out or draw attention so there is a very small wardrobe requirement. While at venues or clubs you will not be needed to always be in immediate close proximity to me and some space will be appreciated, but you must always remain within earshot and eye contact. You will be allowed to converse with people as long as you only refer to me by my first name and as your friend that you are out with during the evening, never as your employer or boss. A ~2 drink minimum is likely all that I would allow for you to have just to remain inconspicuous and casual, but you must know your limitations and it should never affect your skill to do your job. I will address you by your first or last name, whichever you prefer, but with no titles such as Mr., and you will need to remain on a first name basis with me always. The effect here is that no one should know you are employed by me throughout the course of an evening unless I specifically make mention of this point to a contact as possibly needed. If an unforeseen occurrence should happen within the club or venue your job will be to get me out of there quickly and safely. Confrontations shouldn’t occur as a result of my actions but if again for whatever reason it does occur then your job will simply be again to remove me and possibly a guest from the specific situation while not attempting to engage the threat yourself unless it is absolutely necessary.
Vehicle Required:
Four door passenger vehicle in good service and well maintained. No trucks. Car or SUV must be completely street legal and have good appearance with no outer damage, rust, etc. as well as nothing showy such as tailfins, racer strips, spinners, etc. Preferably a darker colored car / black, with leather interior and legal tint windows but not required. Car must be non-smoking. GPS navigation preferred within but I have portable in the event it doesn’t. Preferred roadside maintenance program as well in case of emergency but if not I have AAA. Must have a spare tire in vehicle and knowledge of how to change one.
Hours Required:
Part-time, only ~1 night a week, likely a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday between the hours of ~9:00pm and ~4:00am. Will have 1 week to as much as 1 month’s advanced notice on what specific nights you will be needed but if you have prior engagements I will need to know in advance for any given month as I do want to be accommodating to your schedule as well as my own.
Qualifications:
Must be fluent in speaking English.
Driving Requirements:
Qualified candidates must have a valid and non-expired current local state or city driver’s license and a low point record. Must have full coverage auto insurance with insured ability to drive another person’s vehicle as well and still be fully covered. Must also possess own health insurance plan as well. There will be Nighttime driving only so having 20/20 vision will be essential and required, whether with or without glasses / contacts.
Body guarding Requirements:
Qualified candidates should have at least a first degree black belt in some form of martial arts and still currently training. Height / build should be proportionate and intimidating preferred. Previous experience record in being a bodyguard of course preferred with references asked for. Not required to carry a licensed firearm / any weapons, nor should you ever have the desire to do so. Expertise preferred in non-violent hand to hand combat and submission / take down such as Jujitsu.
Compensation:
Negotiable. Please include in your email response what your pay range requirements per hour will need to be so that no time is wasted by either of us. I do not want to haggle over my safety or leave you feeling underpaid and thus less likely to do your job in an emergency situation.
Application Procedure:
Please send a response with your hourly pay requirements and other needs / specifications along with your current up to date resume and a recent digital photograph of yourself attached to the email. Photograph of face and body needed. Include your height / weight and qualifications in response email as best as possible if not already listed out on resume.
Compensation: Negotiable. Please include in your email response what your pay range requirements per hour will need to be
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
native
()
Date: April 03, 2008 04:50PM
Its a scam, I have email to something similar a while back ago
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
Good Speller
()
Date: April 03, 2008 05:40PM
Sounds like somebody is a total vagina.
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
Dedicated to you, all your needs
()
Date: April 03, 2008 08:13PM
AMAZING
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
KeepOnTruckin
()
Date: April 03, 2008 10:14PM
Well the poster did cover all the bases
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
TRICKIE
()
Date: April 04, 2008 01:27AM
I bet it is some drug dealer.
Re: Is this a joke?
Posted by:
Bubba
()
Date: April 06, 2008 12:30AM
What does the poster expect his bodyguard to do if the attacker has a gun? Somebody has been watching too much "Walker Texas Ranger."