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Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Mad Parent ()
Date: March 22, 2012 11:25AM

The school should be held responsible! Another case of a student being BULLIED to

the point of commiting suicide! This is not the first time from Thoreau a

student has commited suicide. Thoreau should be investigated by the media.

Fairfax County will try to keep the school out of the spot light on this. Where

is News Center 4 or ABC 7 ??? The students responsible for bullying will just do

it again........ very sad

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: willa ()
Date: March 22, 2012 11:28AM

Was the boy bullied at Thoreau? There's definitely bullying that gets played down at schools (especially the ones in wealthier areas of Fairfax County).

My heart goes out to the family and staff. For a seventh grader to kill himself is so sad--that he felt like that was his only option. Depressing to feel like he could not turn to an adult for help.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Jung ()
Date: March 22, 2012 11:29AM

Are you fucking kidding me? You don't even know all of the relevant facts, lets just blame the school. It is a terrible event that happened, but you are not helping the family nor the situation by jumping the gun. Stop posting such bullshit unless you can back it up.

Teens regardless of school district or country are going to commit suicide!!! Wake up!!!!

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: student ()
Date: March 22, 2012 11:35AM

I do know the facts he was picked on for being smaller then the rest of us at school...you wake up Jung. I would guess you are a bully

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Jung ()
Date: March 22, 2012 11:39AM

student Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I do know the facts he was picked on for being
> smaller then the rest of us at school...you wake
> up Jung. I would guess you are a bully


So what are the facts then? That could have led/contributed to this young person feeling no hope, which is horrible. Yet what should have been done? Why is this "Mad parent" holding only the school culpaple? Parents, fellow students, including the bullies? Its a bit more complex than just blaming the school!

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: SureSure ()
Date: March 22, 2012 12:00PM

Jung Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Are you fucking kidding me? You don't even know
> all of the relevant facts, lets just blame the
> school. It is a terrible event that happened, but
> you are not helping the family nor the situation
> by jumping the gun. Stop posting such bullshit
> unless you can back it up.
>
> Teens regardless of school district or country are
> going to commit suicide!!! Wake up!!!!


And hysterical, profanity-laced, knee-jerk attacks are more helpful? Seems like it's people with these comments who have been the biggest problem here in Fairfax County.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: jung ()
Date: March 22, 2012 12:21PM

SureSure Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jung Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Are you fucking kidding me? You don't even know
> > all of the relevant facts, lets just blame the
> > school. It is a terrible event that happened,
> but
> > you are not helping the family nor the
> situation
> > by jumping the gun. Stop posting such bullshit
> > unless you can back it up.
> >
> > Teens regardless of school district or country
> are
> > going to commit suicide!!! Wake up!!!!
>
>
> And hysterical, profanity-laced, knee-jerk attacks
> are more helpful? Seems like it's people with
> these comments who have been the biggest problem
> here in Fairfax County.


? Sorry you don't like profanity. Yet the original post simply puts blame at the school, which is bullshit. No proof, just pure speculation as always. That's even worse than responding to it as I have. The knee jerk is the OP, sure there might have been things going on at school, but think about it-that's right, use your brain for just a moment, with a bit of calmness. This is a tragedy. Did I not put that in there. Also, school's have a lot of challenges. We do not have their side, and also this seems to be a quick blast at a school, that may or may not have all the facts of the case, may have or may not have been involved, also look at society. I agree with you. There's a point finger at just one entity, and it always is the schools. How about parents, neighborhoods, crime rates, traffic, the environment around here, both the stress and also the pollution, the lack or abundance of psychological services, genetics, drug/drinking use perhaps...

That's just the cusp of it right there. Let the facts come out, but if you are in the let's blame the school crowd, good luck. It goes a lot deeper than that, and let the truth whether its the schools fault or not prevail. Duh.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: FCPS parent ()
Date: March 22, 2012 12:27PM

I have no insight into the facts surrounding this tragic event. However as the parent of 7th grader, it is my opinion that 7th grade is an enormous leap from elementary school - many kids are just not equipped for what they will be dealing with. It is vastly different from 6th grade, for a variety of reasons (size of school, lack of school resources to provide adequate counseling and intervention, interactions with 8th graders who are trying to prove how ready they are for high school, raging hormones, etc.).

In my opinion, the bullying and intimidation gets way worse in 7th grade. I am actually surprised that we don't have more incidents like this - other than the difficulty of actually accomplishing the task.

I know a particular rising 6th grade student who will be at Thoreau next year and I feel confident in making 3 predictions:

1) This student will be picked on, mercilessly.

2) This student will not react well at all to it. Never has, but the elementary school has been able to keep the situation somewhat contained.

3) The student will respond in whatever way they are able to - including a violent act (using whatever means is available) or injury to themselves. If this student had access to a firearm, I am fairly confident we'll be reading about a shooting in a year or less.

Bullying and intimidation happens, and in middle school it happens most of all (more than elementary, and more than High School due to the increasing maturity of SOME kids). Middle schools in FCPS are simply not staffed to deal with it, nor do they seem to know what to do.

Proper parenting is probably the only viable answer, including the responsibility of parents to sense when their child is being bullied and to intervene as needed. Intervention should include pulling your child out of school if gets to the point where you suspect your child will hurt themselves or others.


Just some thoughts.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: news desk editor ()
Date: March 22, 2012 12:28PM

Mad Parent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The school should be held responsible! Another
> case of a student being BULLIED to
>
> the point of commiting suicide! This is not the
> first time from Thoreau a
>
> student has commited suicide. Thoreau should be
> investigated by the media.
>
> Fairfax County will try to keep the school out of
> the spot light on this. Where
>
> is News Center 4 or ABC 7 ??? The students
> responsible for bullying will just do
>
> it again........ very sad


Channel 4 said they dont have enough air time for this story, they have another facinating story about an illegal treehouse in Fairfax that will breaking news for them for at least 4 days.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: jung ()
Date: March 22, 2012 12:30PM

Bullying is a worldwide phenomena too, I wish it would stop. Yet it continues, and if this is the case of this young man's feeling like he had no choice, I think the people responsible for such actions, should face severe consequences. A shame and much love to this family.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: beenthere ()
Date: March 22, 2012 04:25PM

If only some of the other kids would have helped. That could have made all the difference. Kids are scared sheep.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: March 22, 2012 05:43PM

Good thing a whole new thread was started for this idiotic post that was originally crapped out in the original thread on this topic

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Adam ()
Date: March 22, 2012 08:07PM

sevy bop day got the best of him. Sad

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: student ()
Date: March 22, 2012 08:38PM

I go to school there and they are trying to keep the bully problem quite. They didnt even talk about it. His funeral was today

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: 24 ()
Date: March 24, 2012 08:38AM

Not shocked Fairfax is always trying cover up never heard any thing on the news!

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: From the Patch ()
Date: March 24, 2012 01:00PM

Thoreau Community Mourns Loss Of Student
Seventh-grade boy died unexpectedly over the weekend
By Erica R. Hendry
March 20, 2012
http://vienna.patch.com/articles/thoreau-community-mourns-loss-of-student

Students returning to Thoreau Middle School on Monday were told they'd lost a classmate and a friend over the weekend.

The teens and teachers at the school, along with parents and administrators, mourned the unexpected death of a seventh-grade boy, with counselors, a psychologist and social worker on hand to support the community throughout the day.

In an email to parents late Sunday night, Principal Greg Hood wrote the student's death was "very sad and difficult day for all of us."

"This is tragic news for all of us, but especially for the family of the student," Hood wrote.

The boy's name and cause of death were not released.

On Monday, Hood told Patch that staff is working with the family and the school's business partner, Navy Federal Credit Union, to establish a memorial fund in the student's name. Donations can be made to the fund to help pay for hospital and funeral expenses, Hood said.

Information about where to send those donations is forthcoming, Hood said.

"Please let your child know we are here to support him or her during this difficult time," Hood said. "If you feel your child needs additional support, please let us know and we will follow up with him or her at school."
Attachments:
e253e5e962ffa7643d46afbbdc8ba61a.jpg

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: student ()
Date: March 24, 2012 05:07PM

all nice patch but nothing was said about the bullying and teasing the kid got

in gym class everyday that drove him to the point of hanging himself. I dont

think he was gay. No one should go though that!

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: retardsensor ()
Date: March 24, 2012 05:09PM

Whoever thinks the school should be held responsible is fucking retarded

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: student ()
Date: March 24, 2012 05:31PM

they knew he was being bullyed but nothing was done. I am student but I was

scared they would turn on me.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: 123453254 ()
Date: March 24, 2012 11:15PM

bump

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: questions ()
Date: March 25, 2012 03:24AM

Not pertaining to this incident but just in general it seems like suicides as a whole are up at schools. Maybe they just get more attention than they used to which is possible, but it seems like we hear about this more and more at a younger age.

Has anyone ever stopped to ask whether or not this is a result as kind of the new way kids are being raised now? What I mean by that is now some school have banned red ink so it doesnt hurt a childs feeling and some sports leagues dont keep score so that there are no losers. When you think about it, to me at least, with all these things to try and isolate kids from failure it seems like we are doing them a great disservice and they dont know how to handle situations like a bully or failure in the future and do the unthinkable and end their life instead of trying to get back up after being knocked down so to speak.

I dont think anyone should ever end their life on their own if for nothing else for their families sake, but at the same time I cant help but think that we are setting some kids up to do this with how everything now seems to be about making them feel good in the sense they dont know how to deal with adversity as they havent been taught. It has to be such a shock to them that they feel there is no way out.

I could be wrong but I think its a very interesting question

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Gordon Blvd ()
Date: March 25, 2012 06:32AM

I notice OP wanted to blame the school system for not helping the young man out. The OP also states that they are intimate with the facts of this case.....

QUESTION!!! So why the FUCK didnt you help the kid out, OP?

Maybe it's YOUR bitch-ass should be sued. You knew all about this kid and his troubles yet didnt do anything about it (other than bitch online AFTER his death)

and that's even IF the "bullying" aspects of this story are even true..............

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: justsayin ()
Date: March 25, 2012 07:36AM

Mad Parent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The school should be held responsible! Another
> case of a student being BULLIED to
> the point of commiting suicide! This is not the
> first time from Thoreau a
> student has commited suicide. Thoreau should be
> investigated by the media.

I think YOU should be investigated. Kids are bullied by other kids, and those bullies were raised in households in ways that make the bullying behavior somehow acceptable. The school is a building, YOUR house is where they learned how to drive children to suicide.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Mr. Insensitive ()
Date: March 25, 2012 07:53AM

Here's the actual truth...

Part time parenting + Insufficient school school administration = tragedy

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: former teacher ()
Date: March 25, 2012 08:02AM

Questions said:
"Not pertaining to this incident but just in general it seems like suicides as a whole are up at schools. Maybe they just get more attention than they used to which is possible, but it seems like we hear about this more and more at a younger age.

Has anyone ever stopped to ask whether or not this is a result as kind of the new way kids are being raised now? What I mean by that is now some school have banned red ink so it doesnt hurt a childs feeling and some sports leagues dont keep score so that there are no losers. When you think about it, to me at least, with all these things to try and isolate kids from failure it seems like we are doing them a great disservice and they dont know how to handle situations like a bully or failure in the future and do the unthinkable and end their life instead of trying to get back up after being knocked down so to speak.

I dont think anyone should ever end their life on their own if for nothing else for their families sake, but at the same time I cant help but think that we are setting some kids up to do this with how everything now seems to be about making them feel good in the sense they dont know how to deal with adversity as they havent been taught. It has to be such a shock to them that they feel there is no way out.

I could be wrong but I think its a very interesting question"

+100

"Questions" raises some interesting thoughts.
Here's another--What is "bullying" to one, is teasing to another. Where do you draw the line?
I think we could all agree on what constitutes bullying on many occasions--but there are those who could disagree in others.

1. We should be teaching children to treat others as we would like to be treated. (However, some would say that constitutes religious instruction.)
2. We should be teaching children how to avoid being bullied and helping them resist it.

Bullying is sometimes in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes it is perception-being left out, etc.

This happened in a 5th class I knew about--not mine:
I knew one mom who thought the kids were bullying her son because they made fun of him for "liking" one of the girls. They teased him constantly. However, she ignored the fact that her son made the little girl's life miserable for making it so clear that he had a crush on her. The other kids teased her, too. (She did not like the boy.) The boy's mom totally blamed the girl--when, in fact, she should have told her son to leave the girl alone and helped him deal with the issue.

Should the other children have teased him? No. Was the girl "right" to be mean to him? Not sure. He would not let up on his crush and he was close to stalking her.

This mom totally blamed the teacher and the school for allowing her son to be teased. Her child had many social issues that made his life difficult. The school and teacher tried to help--but the mom would not take any responsibility or guilt for her son's part in the issue. She just wanted everyone else to adapt to him.

Of course, the others should have left him alone. But, remember, these are children.
We used to teach children how to handle being bullied. Now, we only address the bully. The answer is somewhere in the middle--but, frankly,the school is not the parent.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Senior Fellow ()
Date: March 25, 2012 08:12AM

former teacher Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Questions" raises some interesting thoughts.
> Here's another--What is "bullying" to one, is
> teasing to another. Where do you draw the line?
> I think we could all agree on what constitutes
> bullying on many occasions--but there are those
> who could disagree in others.
>
> 1. We should be teaching children to treat others
> as we would like to be treated. (However, some
> would say that constitutes religious
> instruction.)
> 2. We should be teaching children how to avoid
> being bullied and helping them resist it.
>
> Bullying is sometimes in the eye of the beholder.
> Sometimes it is perception-being left out, etc.
>
> This happened in a 5th class I knew about--not
> mine:
> I knew one mom who thought the kids were bullying
> her son because they made fun of him for "liking"
> one of the girls. They teased him constantly.
> However, she ignored the fact that her son made
> the little girl's life miserable for making it so
> clear that he had a crush on her. The other kids
> teased her, too. (She did not like the boy.) The
> boy's mom totally blamed the girl--when, in fact,
> she should have told her son to leave the girl
> alone and helped him deal with the issue.
>
> Should the other children have teased him? No.
> Was the girl "right" to be mean to him? Not sure.
> He would not let up on his crush and he was close
> to stalking her.
>
> This mom totally blamed the teacher and the school
> for allowing her son to be teased. Her child had
> many social issues that made his life difficult.
> The school and teacher tried to help--but the mom
> would not take any responsibility or guilt for her
> son's part in the issue. She just wanted everyone
> else to adapt to him.
>
> Of course, the others should have left him alone.
> But, remember, these are children.
> We used to teach children how to handle being
> bullied. Now, we only address the bully. The
> answer is somewhere in the middle--but,
> frankly,the school is not the parent.

The concept of bullying is clearly defined by the law and by the dictionary. In this case, both the parent AND the school failed this child, by failing to act.

The Bullying occurred at school. Call it teasing or bullying, my point is still the same...CORRECTIVE ACTION NEEDS TO BE TAKEN. Because it happened on school grounds, it is the legal responsibility of the school to take care of it. That did not happen.

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Re: Fairfax County Schools (Thoreau Middle) student Suicide
Posted by: Deniz Erdag ()
Date: June 11, 2012 09:27PM

I personally knew the "student" that committed suicide. I was very sad when i heard the news. Thought about all the things he could of done if he had gotten to live. He could of gotten a wife and started a family. He could of also driven a car but... THIS BULLY who i also know of had to say he was gay!!!!!! and you made him commit suicide. Do you feel happy know! KNOW YOU HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FEELING GUILTY OF THE CAUSE OF SOMEONES DEATH!!!!!!

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