I grew up here in NOVA. Birthday parties were simple events in the late 70's. Typically (not always) held at home, about 12 kids were dropped off, 3 hours, some games, presents, some food (maybe a "Fudgie the Whale" cake if Dad had a good month) and $5 goody bags on the way out the door.

None of that is the same now...But the biggest change? I went to drop my 7 year old off at his friend's party and when I turned to walk back to my car, the host Mom said, "I'm sorry...where are you going?"

"Um...well, I thought I'd run some errands while my son enjoys your party..."

"No, this is not a 'drop off' party. In fact, welcome to 2012...there's no such thing as a drop off party anymore...", she said back to me. "You're welcome to stay and help us with the party as all of the other parents are doing, however if you can't stay you'll have to take your son with you. You honestly can't expect my husband and I to be responsible for fifteen, 7 year olds..."

"Sure...I'd be happy to stay. I didn't see anything on the invitation about chaperoning."

"The reason you didn't see anything about chaperoning is because this is how it's done now...", she said.

My son and I went on to have a nice time at the party, but the experience was 'enlightening' to say the least.

My question is...What the heck has happened in the last 30 years that my folks had no problem riding herd on a house full of kids for an afternoon party and now all of the sudden this is a huge challenge for today's families? My wife and I work full time and when we've hosted parties they've always been drop off parties without incident.

Stunned in the 703 Wrote:
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> My question is...What the heck has happened in the
> last 30 years that my folks had no problem riding
> herd on a house full of kids for an afternoon
> party and now all of the sudden this is a huge
> challenge for today's families? My wife and I work
> full time and when we've hosted parties they've
> always been drop off parties without incident.

The answer is simple: pederasts and lawsuits.

I have never had a party for ages 5-8 where the parents were required to remain. They have always been dropoff.

-----------------------------------------------

"...your suffering will be legendary even in Hell!"

Ages 6,7,8,9,10,11... Never has that happened to me. Even when I host the party. If a parent offers to stay I would decline, unless I planned for that in advance. Clearly, the OP should have been advised well in advance of the "party". If the party thrower's required a sit&wait or requirment to "help" for the 3 hours. They are not from around here, right? Was it a BDay party with both boys & girls attending? In any case, I have never heard of that around here with out first laying down the "rules of engagement" well in advance with the RSVP. Fairfax Parent

Don't pretend to be so "stunned" that things have changed over the course of the last FORTY YEARS.

What is up with that....no advanced warning? Your kids actually Knew each other right?

+1
"Can you believe there are these tiny things you can hear music out of?!"

some food (maybe a "Fudgie the Whale" cake if Dad had a good month -- LOVE IT

Sounds like this woman is just trying to justify her selfish, boorish (near) demand that you stay there. Even if this were the way things are done now (and I doubt that it is), there is no excuse for her tasteless behavior. If you can't handle 15 kids, then don't invite 15 kids. I would stay as far away from this woman as possible.

Not OK is OK by me.

Stunned in the 703 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...the host Mom said, "I'm sorry...where are
> you going?"

I would suspect the host mom is (1) quite well off and (2) irrationally spooked by Me-Too Media reports into thinking that lawsuits (or accusations) are the norm rather than the very rare exception.

I've never heard of an unmentioned expectation for parents to hang around after dropping off kids for parties. Certainly have never done it with my daughter after delivering her to (seemingly 12 thousand per year) parties, nor had parents hang around at our joint after dropping off kids.

Maybe I should develop some fear of the irrational?

Stunned in the 703 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> (maybe a "Fudgie the Whale" cake if Dad had a good
> month) and $5 goody bags on the way out the door.

lol -- Fudgie the Whale. What about Cookie Puss?


> "No, this is not a 'drop off' party. In fact,
> welcome to 2012...there's no such thing as a drop
> off party anymore...", she said back to me.
> "You're welcome to stay and help us with the party
> as all of the other parents are doing, however if
> you can't stay you'll have to take your son with
> you. You honestly can't expect my husband and I to
> be responsible for fifteen, 7 year olds..."

If the above was word-for-word conversation, what a bitch.

We've hosted and been to many drop of parties in 703... and we've been to a couple where it was clear parents were expected to stay but the kids were barely 5 so it seemed understandable.

At one of our parties we had 26 six and seven year olds, only 3 or 4 parents stayed.

As a parent of today, I similarly don't recall any parent ever staying for my or my siblings' b-day parties as a kid, I have been surprised (and annoyed) that many parents choose to stay at b-day parties for children (that is, no longer toddlers and not afraid to be supervised by adults other than their parents).

I'm surprised that parent was so convinced that everyone feels the same way she does. I feel precisely the opposite way. As a host, I do NOT want to have to entertain/feed/tend to twice as many people as my child invited (that is, their parents,too). And I wouldn't invite more children than I think I can capably supervise.

Therefore, I've always used the time my kids are at b-day parties to run errands. I thought I was doing the host(s) a courtesy or, at least, not being discourteous by inviting myself to a party for children.

--Not a Helicopter Parent

I would have beaten that bitch with her brat's birthday gift. Then stolen the cake.

OP - your fault for saying "I thought I'd run...". You should have just said I'm going to go run errands, bye. Stop being so passive - you were basically asking to be walked over with a response like that.

While I wish the OP had--and still might find a way to--defend his/her own point of view and intentions, I can see how he/she was thinking first of the child. I might've tolerated a rude hostess if my child were already set on joining friends at such a party.

Also, sometimes when someone is shocked by another's rudeness, it takes a bit to realize how out of line the other person was. And it's a challenge to figure out the appropriate level of assertiveness when someone is as obnoxious as that hostess.

I've never been to a non-drop off party and have never held anything but a drop off party for my kids' birthday parties.

That mom clearly can't handle responsibility. she's probably well off, doesnt work, has maid service, and does a whole lot of jack shit all day when the kids are in school.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

Perhaps the host of the party had bad experiences in the past with parents taking advantage of the drop off and pick your kid up at this time request.

I personally had an experience where a child was dropped of by a family member, not the mom or dad....and when the party was clearly over....we had plans to go do some other family related stuff. and this random child was still there. Then we tried to call the house number for this child and an old lady who 'no speaka english, and no have a car' answered....apparently the mom went to work and would not get off till after midnight,we told her at her job number that she needs to come now. Moreover, some other random family member came to get the kid about 1.5 hours after the party ended.

So now what I do is make sure that whoever is dropping their kid off, clearly speaks english and understands my request, or they can stay and enjoy the food and stuff, or they can take their child now and have a nice day.

GREAT...now I get to vent.

When I was a kid (long time ago) we had couple of friends over, had cake & ice cream, played pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.....then everybody went home.

No parent stayed or was expected to.

FAST FORWARD to my first set of kids parties (30 years ago)...same drill , cake, ice cream, etc. no parents, then go home.

FAST FORWARD TO TODAY...my second set of kids.

What a fuckin' production...no in home party, etc. Noooooooo, that would be what the Jones' do.

MY wife (god bless her) has to outdo every other set of parents by having the BEST'est party of all.

Kids meet at some party destination (ie Bowling alley, theatre, hotel with pool, etc. ) where every one goes crazy for 3 hours and I get to pick up the tab.

Last tab was for hotel, pool, 3 overnight rooms for the female kids (boys went home) was around $600 bucks (pizza delivery included).

WTF is going on with todays parents? (including me).

I just got PW'd this time but no more...

aw, shit, just remembered my younger daughter now expects a similar party for her next birthday.

I'll do it for her, but, after that, "NO MAS".

Back when our son was that age ('bout 15 years ago), it was drop-off. In fact, as Drop Off Only, Please! notes, we really didn't want to host a party for double the invitees--the kids AND the parents. In Stunned's case, that would have been 15 kids and 15 parents. Ours weren't that big, but still . . .

On top of that, how many parents does it take? 1-on-1 isn't necessary. Presumably, the hostest that Stunned ran into already had a parent for each of the other kids. 14 parents (plus the hostest and perhaps her hubby) for 15 kids? Way more than enough. 10 parents: Way too many.

On top of THAT, even at age 7 kids like to play with each other, not interact with their parents all the time. It wouldn't have done any good (for the hostest) to have had the 15 parents segregated into some other room; that wouldn't have provided the supervision she was seeking. I'm glad that Stunned and son had a pleasant time, but that was in spite of the birthday mom's policy, not due to it.

I suspect that something else was going on. A cultural thing, maybe? Or paranoia? Or a past law suit?

Not OK Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sounds like this woman is just trying to justify
> her selfish, boorish (near) demand that you stay
> there. Even if this were the way things are done
> now (and I doubt that it is), there is no excuse
> for her tasteless behavior. If you can't handle 15
> kids, then don't invite 15 kids. I would stay as
> far away from this woman as possible.


I agree. Hosted plenty of parties for my kids and their friends etc. and some of the parties involved special needs kids. I've dropped my kids off at other's parties. Never had to stay. Occasionally was given the option of staying, but never was it 'required'.

Was the invitation addressed to just your kid? If so, perhaps you should send her a copy of Emily Post's etiquette with the invitation section bookmarked. Why in the world should you expect to supervise someone else's party?

That mom is a cunt. At 7, you should be able to leave your kid for a couple of hours for a party, even if other parents choose to stay. I think the only time I've had parties where the parents stayed was when my kids were five or under, and then I would break out the beer. I certainly didn't expect the parents to help out with my kid's party.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/14/2012 10:51AM by WashingTone-Locian.

Who leaves their kids with complete strangers these days. Yes my kid knows your kid but I don't know you or your family that way. Things have changed and pedophiles don't look like the creepy guy who lives in the corner house anymore. Besides, I as a host do not want to be responsible for a kid that acts a fool when their parent isnt around, has an allergic reaction or wants to leave early for whatever reason. You don't have a couple hours to be in the same place as your kid? This isn't their school or after school event where you've gotten to know the staff. Why would you trust just anyone. Wake up. 2017 is VASTLY different from 30 yrs ago.

Her response was rude and uncalled for and I would have taken my kid and left

Yeah, ridiculous.

I hate it when parents stay for my kids' parties. It feels rude to force them out but I hate having to entertain the parents while I'm trying to run the party.

FairfaxGirl Wrote:
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> Yeah, ridiculous.
>
> I hate it when parents stay for my kids' parties.
> It feels rude to force them out but I hate having
> to entertain the parents while I'm trying to run
> the party.


How stupid. So you;d rather babysit their kid and should they get hurt the parent sues you?

I try not to be friends with litigious assholes in the first place, but having the parents on site is not a defense against a lawsuit anyway.

Never hire Miz as the birthday clown for your children's party.
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