Last Saturday night I decided to visit America's largest rest stop Springfield for a night out that brought me to Paper Moon. After standing in line for almost an hour and watching a bum and a thug get into a fight I was inside pastie paradise as I call it. This place is different, girls can give you lap dances. I followed my tongue to the hottest mom of 4/substance abuser this place had to offer and got a lap dance. Bump Bump Slide was all I got so I got pissed. Afterwards I went to the bathroom and decided to get even and took a giant shit in the urinal. Just as I was finishing some guy walked in and was shocked like he had just been violated, which makes 0 sense he is in a VA version strip club. Right about when I was washing my hands the bouncer came in with Mr. Prude and saw the urinal. He took one look at the horse sized pile I left, held, his nose, and turned around yelling "good lawwwwd, that's a styanky shit boy." Right when I was quietly trying to slip away Mr. Prude pointed at me and Mr. Bouncer grabbed my shoulder. "aw hell naw someone gots to clean this shit here boy and it ain't gonna be me muthafucka." I took a big gulp as my faced turned red with embarrassment. "looky here man I gets paid to watch the door and throw muthafuckas out not clean shit out the terlet. And right now I'm about to plant my shoe up yo ass boy." Shouted Mr. Bouncer still looking at the fresh pile of shit. My self pride instantly set in as I snapped back "I'm not cleaning that shit out of the urinal." Now even more pissed Mr. bouncer answered right back in my face "clean it up muthafucka!" I grabbed some paper towels next to the sink and grabbed the telephone pole sized piece of shit. "Now flush it in the terlet boy." Maybe it was my ego maybe it was my self pride but after I heard boy for the last time I dropped it right on his fresh new sneakers. "oops." I said trying to act all innocent. "Awww hell naw I just bought these new kicks from Gucci! Yo ass is mine now." Shoving me out of the bathroom and carrying me past all of the dancers stopping to look at what happened I was thrown out on the sidewalk Jazz style from Fresh Prince. "And don't you eva eva bring yo stink ass back to this club ya hear!" Thankfully it was before midnight so I stopped by the 711, grabbed a couple of 24 ouncers of Mikes Harder and laughed off the whole evening. Lesson learned, use a toilet.

How did you wipe?

You actually picked the turd up.... Talk about a guy with no conviction.

I'll never understand why fat fucks want to ramble on and on for hours about taking a dump. I can only assume this has something to do losing an ounce and being proud of it. Either that or my second theory is that all fatties were never taught correctly growing up and now are impermanently stuck in a childhood phase giggling, talking about disgusting stuff and bathroom episodes.

Where have you been expensive jeans? Boring story.

Story is fake.

Here is why:

He said he went to a strip club with mostly nekkid chicks. Then he said he picked up some Mike's Hard Lemonade on the way home.

Why would a gay guy go to a strip club with mostly nekkid chicks? Or, why would a straight guy drink hard lemonade?

It just doesn't add up.

Boring Wrote:
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> Where have you been expensive jeans? Boring story.

+1. Is someone taking a creative writing class @ NOVA? Or, maybe the story was intended as an outline/treatment for the first five minutes of "Hangover 3"?

@Gaydar, Mikes Harder Fruit Punch and Mango is the shit! Better than Four Loko.

Reminds me of a bad made up Penthouse forum story.

Everyone knows that only local retard Tom Gavin gets thrown out of the Paper Moob.

That's stupid

I truly enjoyed this story, fake or not.

satisfied Wrote:
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> I truly enjoyed this story, fake or not.


Just like the orgasms you give your Girl... You enjoy them whether she was faking it or not. Zing.

A very well written story! It was almost like i was there?

I asked someone who works there who asked the bouncers and managers. They said it did not happen.

***YAWN***

Did not happen Wrote:
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> I asked someone who works there who asked the
> bouncers and managers. They said it did not
> happen.
Yeah right stop trying to fuck with my story. The bouncers name was Darell.

Dear Penthouse Forum,

There I was at the pasty bar. Mom had loaned me the corolla AND gave me my $5 allowance early.

...insert unrealistic story of sexual prowess or false bravado here...

I can't believe it really happened to me.

Timmy Pulinpud

I bet the real story is that he was working the center stall in the men's room of the gay bar in Herdon. When he was confronted by the tough bouncer, bobbie sharted a jellybaby on the floor.

sounds like you know this place in Herndon a little too well, or maybe just the center stall as you pointed out