I gotta do a 2month bid in Jail, my gay ass lawyer couldnt' do anything after we paid him good. What a useless fat MOFO. what do I need to bring, or do so my time goes as fast and smooth as possible.

this is too easy. i'll pass.

vaburbia.com

Tell Inkahootz that the members of FFX Underground say "merry xmas"

FallsChurch Wrote:
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what do I need to bring,


Lots of paper towels to clean up the blood, urine, semen and feces.

Perhaps you should start blaming yourself and not your lawyer since you were the one who retained his services. Bring your teddy bear and pacifier. -§

p



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2009 10:15PM by Expensive Jeans.

Check with the sheriffs department they have a list on the website. There is no limit to how much money you have in your commissary account so I would place $2,000 or so in there before reporting. Money orders or cashiers checks only. The commissary is open two days per week, except during the holidays then it's once. You will be a lot more comfortable with cash in the account to buy underwear, socks, snacks whatever.

Jail is not so bad.If you need to lose weight it's a great time for a water/ fruit fast. Swap your meal for others fruit cups. You will be down to your proper weight on release. If you don't need to lose weight, you will need cash for snacks. The food sucks !

Stay to yourself, don't stare at anyone, it brings the gays after you or gets you into fights.

Take some writing paper preferable 4-5 bond notebooks (ask the sheriffs first) and pens. Spend a lot of time thinking about why you are there (HINT: it's not because your attorney sucked) and write out what YOU are willing to do to improve your life. What mistakes were made, what you would do different. Come up with a game plan to change your life for the better on release. Life is too short to spend time in prison. Many folks that pull time, end up back again for some serious time. Don't be one of them. Get some spiritual counseling while there from the Chaplin, it will help keep your spirits up. Remember two months is nothing !



Good luck

Lots of lube

Winter time around here sucks anyway, so consider yourself lucky you will be out by spring.

Don't bend over for the soap.

Actually I heard FFX low lever prisons are not that bad. One guy who did three weeks said it was really more like being stuck in a gym or at the Y.

What prison?

While I never did any time and not planning on it. I would say just keep your nose clean and don't start any trouble. What did you get charged with anyway???
The closest I have ever been to ADC is when I found out one of the guys I used to work with ended up in ADC for something he did, I tried to go see him but I was told he was released. Place looks like it would be cold inside during winter months.

Number one thing to bring is a new attitude. Stop being a whining baby or you will get your ass kicked on a daily basis by other inmates.

Number two remember it is the deputies yard you are in. When they tell you to do something you should do it. Worry about if it is within your rights not to do it later on. The deputies don't want to hear you half ass story.

BTW what are you charged with?

Wear at least 2 pair of underwear, no colors, white only. Wear a couple of white t-shirts as well, when entering. It's not like you are packing for a vacation when you go, anything you bring will probably be confiscated upon arrival. It will probably be cold in there this time of year.

2 Months only means 1 month, so don't get in any trouble while there. unless you want to do the entire time. When the bookmobile comes around grab a few, stay to yourself and read.

If the jack-booted thugs say jump,then jump. They do not like you and will make your stay as unpleasant as possible if you give them any shit.

Avoid as many people as possible and trust no one.

Good Luck.

BTW, What were you nailed for?

I don't think we should expect a reply from the original poster anytime soon. He is either doing weekends stays which is very unlikely so most likely he has already checked in. Im curioues to know what his charge is too but can't be anything THAT bad. Maybe a repeated dui or some traspassing charge, maybe posession, who knows.

My bro in Adc right today. I could see him on Sunday and he could be ready to be your man. what do yoz look like ? He like white men best. if youz wear womens panties to jail youz will get more action. mt bros name is big m.

that means big meat .

dirtyharry Wrote:
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> Check with the sheriffs department they have a
> list on the website. There is no limit to how much
> money you have in your commissary account so I
> would place $2,000 or so in there before
> reporting. Money orders or cashiers checks only.
> The commissary is open two days per week, except
> during the holidays then it's once. You will be a
> lot more comfortable with cash in the account to
> buy underwear, socks, snacks whatever.
>
> Jail is not so bad.If you need to lose weight
> it's a great time for a water/ fruit fast. Swap
> your meal for others fruit cups. You will be down
> to your proper weight on release. If you don't
> need to lose weight, you will need cash for
> snacks. The food sucks !
>
> Stay to yourself, don't stare at anyone, it
> brings the gays after you or gets you into fights.
>
>
> Take some writing paper preferable 4-5 bond
> notebooks (ask the sheriffs first) and pens. Spend
> a lot of time thinking about why you are there
> (HINT: it's not because your attorney sucked) and
> write out what YOU are willing to do to improve
> your life. What mistakes were made, what you would
> do different. Come up with a game plan to change
> your life for the better on release. Life is too
> short to spend time in prison. Many folks that
> pull time, end up back again for some serious
> time. Don't be one of them. Get some spiritual
> counseling while there from the Chaplin, it will
> help keep your spirits up. Remember two months is
> nothing !
>
>
>
> Good luck

Holy Shit! Sincere non-sarcastic advise on this site!! I'm amazed.

Don't accept any gifts or help because if you do you will owe someone for it.
Stay around your own race such as in the showers, at chow etc. Usually the toilets and yard and communal areas are separated by race crossing over without permission usually means a race war. If you don't fight in a race war, your own race will come and fight you.

I know none of this from personal experience but from a relative that's spent the past 14 years in prison. Jail will be a little more friendly than prison but I don't know how much.

Mofo Wrote:
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> Don't accept any gifts or help because if you do
> you will owe someone for it.
> Stay around your own race such as in the showers,
> at chow etc. Usually the toilets and yard and
> communal areas are separated by race crossing over
> without permission usually means a race war. If
> you don't fight in a race war, your own race will
> come and fight you.

strategery.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

ass-less chaps, that way you wont have your pants ruined... easy access for Bubba

Damn, the guy is going to Fairfax not Attica. His biggest concern will be how to hold his breath around the smelly unwashed inmates. The place stinks like no tomorrow. But on the plus side if you like the smell of sweat, feces, urine and bleach then he will be right at home .

Falls Church
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FallsChurch Wrote:
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> I gotta do a 2month bid in Jail, my gay ass lawyer
> couldnt' do anything after we paid him good. What
> a useless fat MOFO. what do I need to bring, or
> do so my time goes as fast and smooth as possible.


And it's you lawyers fault....why??? You are the one who broke the law. Where does it say that because "you paid him good" you get a get out of jail card???

TheMeeper Wrote:
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> Tell Inkahootz that the members of FFX Underground
> say "merry xmas"

TheMeeper says Merry Christmas.............LOL
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Hey I got 2 months.......bring some Chap Stik YOU'LL NEED IT

Load up cash in your account, you will need it. FFX ADC if you are non violent will be placed in Low Security Pod, most of these pods are wetbacks, so the blacks and whites bond together.

Food is ok, But Breakfast is at 4am, which is mandatory to get up and eat, then you have to clean you cell and cell block for inspection at 7am.

After that you can sleep all day or play cards or play volleyball. If you stink and dont shower you will get jacked up.

If you mess with someone you will get jacked up.

This is not a prison, its a jail. Just do your time and admit your crime and it will be over before you know it.

First 5 days is the worst while initial 48 hours is in drunk tank, then 3-4 days of isolation w/ other incoming inmates going to general pop.

Once you get to your pod / cell, you are good.

BTW - Extra clothing you wear coming in will be confiscated, don't try to sneak anything in, that is a felony.


Be a man, and do your time, get this passed up, and stay out of trouble.

Good luck bro, enjoy the frito/cup of noodle burritos.

nothingman49 Wrote:
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> ass-less chaps, that way you wont have your pants
> ruined... easy access for Bubba


Exactly. Be sure to walk around limp wristed too. Or tell them that you work for a Senator from Idaho.

FFX ADC Wrote:
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> Load up cash in your account, you will need it.
> FFX ADC if you are non violent will be placed in
> Low Security Pod, most of these pods are wetbacks,
> so the blacks and whites bond together.

ha! nothing like a common language to bring people together.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

Gravis Wrote:

>
> ha! nothing like a common language to bring people
> together.

Well said!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2iPn7b7Qqc

I once got two months and was out in a little over 3 wks. It is pretty boring, just read, watch TV, eat sleep. I'll admit it is hard to sleep the first few nights. This isn't max security so I doubt you will be anybody's "bitch." I didn't notice any of that shit going on when I was there. Just mind your own and you'll be a'ight. When I say mind your own, don't be standoffish, just don't meddle in anyone else's business. Some dudes in there are decent and you can carry on normal conversations with them.

ouch!!!
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Well some other advice for you. You will probably get bored. If so, you can volunteer in the kitchen and help make sandwiches. Then you can deliver lunches to the prisoners. My son did that. He told me that he had to deliver lunch on the floor where that sniper boy was in a cell!! He said he was weird too. Just be sure to obey the people who are in charge even if they act not very nice to you. If you don't , there will be repercussions!!!! At least the little jobs of helping out will pass the time faster. Oh and my son finally started to read for fun while he was there. he read all of the James Patterson books. I guess they have a little lending library there.
Actually, if you ended up in jail, it's not the fault of your attorney. It's your fault for not following the right path. This is the time to think about which way your life is headed and make some changes. I wish you well.

Trickie

Gravis Wrote:
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> FFX ADC Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Load up cash in your account, you will need it.
> > FFX ADC if you are non violent will be placed
> in
> > Low Security Pod, most of these pods are
> wetbacks,
> > so the blacks and whites bond together.
>
> ha! nothing like a common language to bring people
> together.

It's true, there are so many latinos in lockup now the whites and blacks often ally themselves. In California there are even two major Mexican prison gangs, the nortenos and surenos.

Most latinos in fairfax and arlington are there for immigration charges (most of them are waiting for deportation) or going through their appeals. Both joints aren't segregated like in Califonia and there aren't any racial tensions. You sometimes have fights between different races but its mostly for loosing a game of cards or just not liking each other.

I got 15 to life once. I got out early for VERY good behavior. I slept with the warden and all the guards and all the men on the parol board. Out in 6 months. It was fun.
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JUST WATCH YOUR CORN-HOLE BOY

Mofo Wrote:
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> It's true, there are so many latinos in lockup now
> the whites and blacks often ally themselves. In
> California there are even two major Mexican prison
> gangs, the nortenos and surenos.

We now know who watches Court TV! http://www.courttv.com/onair/shows/inside/episodes/104.html

if you meet a young caucasian male with 'respect/loyalty tattoos going down his forearms, prepared to be annoyed to the brink of death. i had to spend a few nights in the same cell with that guy.

I'm the welcoming committee.
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Yo those brown shirt Deputies will fuck with you more than the inmates. When i was there, i had a deputty shake me down like 3 times a day and try to write me up for no reason hommie. i aint saying all dpeuties are like that, i seen some that are cool as hell but they are some tht fuck you. Yo who was your judge, hope it wsan't tht one they call the hanging judge he trhow the book at you. yo peace and come home safely.

I'm a South Lakes Homey.
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they have montly orgys, you should participate in them. Get to know yourself, and explore your human sexuality

Bump!!!

Bumpo

BUMP BUMP BUMP!!!!!!!!!HA HAAAA

When you're finished serving your time, I'm sure that we'd all be interested to hear about it. Please keep FairfaxUnderground in your thoughts upon your release.

The Room Store Lady Wrote:
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> When you're finished serving your time, I'm sure
> that we'd all be interested to hear about it.
> Please keep FairfaxUnderground in your thoughts
> upon your release.


Unless he shanked a deputy, he should be out by now. This thread is three years old.

Hello everyone,

I'm going into Fairfax County Jail on Jan 6th, 2011 for 14 days for a DUI 1st offense, and then am serving 46/7 more days because I swapped a book I already bought at Barnes & Noble. Anyhow, I haven't been able to sleep because I am scared and frightened at the prospect.

Am I allowed to bring anything of my own? Hair ties, Hair bands, glasses, contacts (and contact solution)?

Do they give you a necessary piss test when you go in? I just indulged in some marijuana yesterday (stupid move) but I was freaking out over jail.

What kind of items are available in the commissary? Do they have dictionaries?

When are lights on/off and are there any windows in the cells?

Is it a group shower? I have really itchy skin, and am wondering if they provide lotion, hair comb or something.

Is it better to have a job while you are there? Like working for the kitchen staff or something.

Will I be able to send/receive letters while I am in jail? Are visiting hours through those plastic windows or do we actually get to touch them at all? What are the phone regulations/limitations like?

Sorry for the all questions but ever since my sentence I have received probably 4 hours of sleep in 4 days.

How can I get on House Arrest?


Thank you,
screwed

Ass grease. MFC.

Now that I think about it...more ass grease.

Ummm, I think screwed is a girly girl. How many guys worry about if they're all hair ties and lotion in stir?

Screwed, I've never been, so I don't have much advice. Somebody on here lately gave a blow-by-blow (pun intended) description of their stay at ADC. I think there's a search function here, but I've never fooled with it.

But hey, if you find out that they allow conjugal visits, let me know and I'll be right over!

Make that ALLOWED hair ties and lotion...

first of all, say(), i'm indeed a 'girl' but the 'girly' part is an entire different story. You're going to have to make it to the wish list of conjugal visits if you claim me 'girly' again... haha. it's too funny.

about ADC is it's boring.

14 days is nothing mate. Don't even stress over it. It's the ADC, not prison. Admittedly the first few days suck, mostly because of nothing to do. I will try to answer your questions as thoroughly as possible.

You can not bring anything with you. Which is fine, if you did, it'd probably get
stolen.

If you aren't there on a drug charge, they will not piss test you. Smoke up before you go in, it will help with the transition. Personally, when I went in for 2 weeks, I got piss drunk the night before and just nursed my hang over to pass the time.

In the commissary (for prince william) they had everything from coffee/hot chocolate to chips and salsa. Was a real nice treat to be able to sit down and enjoy some decent junk food after the bland and sometimes strange food they provide so make sure to have money in your account when you go and get commissary as soon as possible.

You won't be able to get a job with just 14 days, it takes months to get approved and what not. Spend the time thinking about how come youre there and if drinking/driving is really worth the time lost. It's something that you'll never get back.

You can send and receive letters but you can also set up your phone account and talk to whomever you wish I think from 9 am to 11pm. (thats what it was in prince william county) There it was 20 minutes per call. As for phone etiquite (sp) if there are a lot of people waiting to use the phone, be considerate, people tend to return the favor later on. Don't sit there yelling either, no one likes listening to a one sided conversation.

You probably can't get house arrest for this charge. It's just not worth it to the county. Like I said, it's 14 days, consider it a vacation. It's just like being at a really shitty summer camp. You'll be okay and come out better for it if you allow yourself to.

Good luck, see you on the other side.
Drrty

I am to report next month for 6 week ends to fairfax jail for DUI/hit and run charge. How what should I expect?

First its going to depend on where in the jail you will be staying. Is it in the new side of the jail or old side. If its the new side of the jail then here are some things to think about bringing and setting up beforehand. The new side is cleaner, you have your own room and toilet. Ask your lawyer which side you will be on and if you can request that they put you on the new side.

1. Wear white underwear/boxers, white socks and white long sleeve or short sleeve shirt. None of the above items should have any graphics on them. If you want more then one of the above items then you can order them through the commissary. If you order a pair of boxers/underwear choose a size larger then what you wear, they tend to be smaller sizes.

2. I would call the jail and set up your own phone account and commissary fund so it will be available for you when you get there. When you are first brought in, they may give you only 5 calls, so use those wisely.

3. Get a haircut, shave, cut your fingernails/toenails the day you go in. A haircut and beard trimming range from $7-$10 and who knows how good of a job they do. You only get to use a razor and clippers once a week (usually Sunday night), so you dont want to be caught with long nails on a Monday and have to wait a whole week to clip them.

4. Get ready to eat bologne. You eat bologne for lunch every single day. Two bologne sandwiches. A lot of the guys in there will use their chips or noodles as flavoring.

5. Your food schedule will be, Breakfast 4:30 am, Lunch 11:30, Dinner 4:30. You will be in lockdown after dinner for about an hour and then lights out are at 10:30.

6. Items you should buy first thing you get there. Flip flops for the shower. They have individual showers in the jail so if someone tells you to be careful in the shower they have no clue what they are talking about. A cup from the commissary. They dont have cups for you, so you have to buy one. I think you are only allowed one cup in your possession.

7. Learn to play spades and dominoes. Thats all anyone plays in there so if you want to be part of the action, learn the rules. You will be allowed some physical activity in the volleyball court, but the amount of time you get depends on the deputy.

8. Make sure you pick out at least four books at a time in case you get sick of a book and want to read something else. You dont want to read another book and your are locked in your cell for the next hour or more. Note: If you want a religious book you need to make a request from the cop on duty.

Jail really isnt that bad at all. It's like being in a really boring waiting room with televisions.

Good luck and spend the time in prayer and thinking about what got you there.

YOU FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART : PREPARE TO BE CORNHOLED !

haha

#realtalk shitt niggaz.

ACCEPTANCE AND ACCEPTANCE

more advice for lizzie

I might end up stuck in the ADC for assault and battery, and I'm a girl. What should I expect?