I simply don’t understand why my child’s teachers don’t understand my child’s greatness the way I do. Had they any understanding of how wonderful, righteous, honorable, and brilliant my child is, they would quaver at the thought of giving my child anything but an A. Nay, if they these teachers weren’t so stupid, they would fall down on their knees in the very presence of my child, completely enveloped by my child’s aura of greatness, and thank their lucky stars that they were fortunate enough to have such a wonderful student in their room. But, they don’t understand , and therefore they put their ignorance on display for all to see.
Let me tell you about my child: I realized early on that my child was a magical being set upon this earth to be worshipped and appreciated by all. When my child was a baby, I realized something staggering: my child’s fecal matter did not smell! I watched these other mother’s carting around their pathetic, malodorous offspring, reveling in the knowledge that my perfect child’s waste products weren’t like everyone else’s. Being the benevolent mother I am, I tried to share the wonder of my child’s stools with everyone, but the other mothers steadfastly refused to fill their nostrils with the sweet aroma of nothing that emanated from my child’s droppings. I quickly realized that because I was blessed with such a magical, wondrous child, I was going to get have to get used to this kind of jealousy . Why else would the other mothers not sniff shit? It was because they would realize their children’s inferiority next to mine (of course, they already knew it, but if they confronted evidence they would be forced to admit it aloud).
I am sure that YOU are now convinced that my child is special beyond all belief, but these pigheaded Fairfax County teachers just don’t get it. For example, my child doesn’t know the difference between “they’re†, “theirâ€, and “thereâ€. I shouldn’t say my child doesn’t “knowâ€, because that would imply that my child is less than perfect; what I mean is, my child was put on this earth to clarify things for the rest of us. Not knowing the difference between the “theres†simply illuminates that it is not necessary to know the difference. Everyone KNOWS what someone is talking about when they use the wrong “thereâ€, so my child is simply revealing the obvious. You would think that the teacher would appreciate my child’s precocious ability to streamline the language, but NO! This crazy “educator†insists on marking MY child WRONG? Can you believe that? The fact that she can’t recognize my child’s brilliance leaves me speechless. Now, being a mother who wants to teach my child to fight my child’s own battles, I have only requested four meetings with the teacher, e-mailed her every day since September 8th, called her at home on seven occasions, and gotten her cell phone number from the counselor, but I can imagine other parents might have been way more upset, and , really, justifiably so. It is just a tribute to my parenting abilities that I DON’T fly off the handle, but I can understand how some lesser parents might.
I have worked very hard to raise this beautiful, perfect child. I have hired the best maids, the best tutors, and the best babysitters: when I am at the gym, or having coffee at Starbucks, or driving my gargantuan SUV from store to store during my shopping, my mind is at ease in the knowledge that my child is still learning. I wonder how many other mothers make that kind of sacrifice; I think I know the answer. Like Mary in the bible, I was given this child, and this child was given to me. We function in perfect symbiosis, and even though some would say that my child’s locking my child’s room and remaining there from the second my child gets home from school until the second I serve the dinner I bought is a sign that my child is avoiding me, I know better. My child just needs solitude in order to solve all of the world’s problems and reflect on what a wonderful mother my child has. I laugh at the other children who run and play outside, enjoying the levity that only a foolish carefree mind can know! What are their parents thinking? Then again they probably haven’t the foresight to tell their child what I tell mine: “you WILL go to HARVARD. It’s too important for you to NOT go thereâ€. The report card that my child’s jealous, spiteful teacher is preparing to give my child won’t exactly help in that regard, but I have already called Harvard to explain that this “bump in the road†is due to the TEACHER, and that I hear the fourth grade teachers that my child will have next year are much, much more appreciative of genius.
In short we DO need to have public ratings for these teachers! We CANNOT LET THESE CRAZY PEOPLE RUIN MY CHILD! Or, to a lesser extent, yours.

Fuck. Either Spunky has returned or the fucktard bus has broken down in Fairfax again.

Seems like a feeble attempt at sarcasm. Probably written by some POS teacher that feels underappreciated. Probably spends more time worrying about how he/she is underpaid, underappreciated, etc. than actually improving his/her teaching skills.

My advice. STFU and teach the kids. You only work 9 months a year, ya lazy fuck.

I know it it hard to be a teacher but if a teacher wrote this they really need to quit your not doing anyone a favor. You should go do something you like better no one forced you to teach .

humble pie Wrote:
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> My advice. STFU and teach the kids. You only
> work 9 months a year, ya lazy fuck.


And you're a dumb fuck.

Teachers (and bus drivers) may only work 9 months a year, but they/we ONLY GET PAID FOR 9 MONTHS A YEAR!

Just about anybody can get that "deal", just ask your employer for an unpaid leave of absence.

> ..STFU and teach the kids...

Home schooling is the biggest farce ever played on a polulation.

Anyone who thinks readin', writin', and 'rithmetic are the main or most important items taught by attending REAL school have another think coming.

The slightly raised eyebrow, the weird pun, the glance to the side, the groundless gossip in the hall.

Those are the main things taught in REAL school that home schooling can never hope to even hint at.

bus driver Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> humble pie Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My advice. STFU and teach the kids. You only
> > work 9 months a year, ya lazy fuck.
>
>
> And you're a dumb fuck.
>
> Teachers (and bus drivers) may only work 9 months
> a year, but they/we ONLY GET PAID FOR 9 MONTHS A
> YEAR!
>
> Just about anybody can get that "deal", just ask
> your employer for an unpaid leave of absence.


Just a second there, yes you can get paid for nine months but you also have the option to have the checks averaged out over 12. So when you compare your salary to a 12 month a year worker you need to tell the whole story. You also have an option to teach during the summer for pay beyond your annual salary.

Do I want to be a teacher, no. But if I were I would never expect to get rich on a teachers salary. I hope no one enters the teaching profession hoping to stike it rich.

Before you say well we cannot even live in the county where we teach, welcome to the real world.

Teaching pays in many ways, and one certainly can earn a living wage doing the job. I know of no teacher who has set out in the profession to "strike it rich." (Follow the money to see what any society truly values.)

Josey Wales Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Just a second there, yes you can get paid for nine
> months but you also have the option to have the
> checks averaged out over 12. So when you compare
> your salary to a 12 month a year worker you need
> to tell the whole story. You also have an option
> to teach during the summer for pay beyond your
> annual salary.
>
> Do I want to be a teacher, no. But if I were I
> would never expect to get rich on a teachers
> salary. I hope no one enters the teaching
> profession hoping to stike it rich.
>
> Before you say well we cannot even live in the
> county where we teach, welcome to the real world.

What the hell does that prove? So you can have some your 9 months pay withheld and paid out over the 3 summer months. You are still only being paid for 9 months!

And yeah, there's nothing stopping a teacher from taking another job over the summer (including teaching, but there's very little summer school anymore). I drive a dump truck over the summer, what the fuck that have to do with anything? I'm still on a "180 day contract" with FCPS. They do it that way so you can NOT apply for unemployment.

tl;dr

­



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2013 10:21PM by chuckhoffmann.

Who was complaining about the pay? While I would like more money, that wasn't the point. I was just making fun of the parents who literally think their kids' shit doesn't stink, and, therefore, find a crazy way to blame teachers for their or their kids' shortcomings. . There aren't THAT many, but even a few bad apples can spoil the bunch

They need to teach on quality not how long they have been there.

student Wrote:
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> They need to teach on quality not how long they
> have been there.

How do you evaluate that in a quantifiable and equitable way across an entire school district of thousands of teachers?

It's a serious question. I agree with you in principle, but I think it has serious practical hurdles to overcome.

Socrates Wrote:
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> I simply don’t understand why my child’s
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13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.
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Please. If you don't like your profession don't do it, but for goodness sake quit complaining about it.

Learn to manage the parents and set boundaries and expectations. Deal with the changing world and use the resources given to you (Blackboard & email!!!!!).

Suck it up and live with YOUR OWN CHOICES as well!!!!!

Love my profession. Very good at it. Hate asshole parents, of which there are few (at my school). Worry about yourself dumbass. I wasn't bitching about the job, just goofing on parents, but slack-jawed retards like you can't tell the difference.