Oldie but goodie. Nice site you guys I'll be around!

1. Speed limits are just suggestions
2. You take a major highway to school (95, 66,28, etc)
3. You constantly complain about there being nothing to do, even though you are right next to DC
4. You have at least 2 friends who have no idea what their parents do because its "top secret" government work
5. 50% of your senior class plans on going either to Mason, JMU, Tech or UVA
6. When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain
7. You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern" in front of it
8. When you and your friends get bored you all whip out your cell phones and start playing with them
9. Its not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.
10. A yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through.
11. A red light means 2 more can.
12. It takes you 30 minutes to drive 10 miles
13. Your local news is national news
14. If you hear the word "sniper" one more time you're going to slap someone
15. You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for
16. Even if your high school is only a year old, its already overcrowded
17. You have over 500 students in your graduating class
18. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner"
19. You are friends with people from at least 2 other high schools
20. You know at least 2 people who drive a mercedes, BMW, Lexus, etc.
21. The cars in the student parking lot are woth 3x those in the teacher parking lot.
22. You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington DC
23. You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak english
24. You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds
25. There are at least 3 malls within 20 minutes of your house
26. There are at least 6 Starbucks within 20 minutes of your house
27. You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag
28. Homework/Extra credit for a class has been to visit a museum in DC
29. When traveling, you have your choice of 3 airports
30. You don't actually like the Redskins/Wizards (except when Jordan was playing)
31. An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school
32. All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience
33. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it
34. A rich white kid driving a BMW while blasting rap music is a common occurance
35. You call things "ghetto" even though in most of the rest of the country it'd be high class
36. You or most of your friends have a 3 car garage
37. You don't actually keep your cars in it.
38. When you were driving on the beltway at 2:13am on a Tuesday there was still traffic
39. Crown Victoria = undercover cop
40. A slow driver is someone who isn't going at least 10mph over the speed limit
41. You understand the meaning of "If you don't get it, you don't get it"
42. Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro
43. You've taken a wrong turn somewhere late at night and ended up in a bad part of DC(ex. anacostia)
44. Most of Loudoun County is the "middle of nowhere"
45. They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new houses in its place
46. The word Hfstival actually means something to you
47. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peal out the second the light turned green.
48. You've honked at someone because they didn't peal out the second the light turned green.
49. Rush hour lasts all day
50. For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa
51. Helicopters and airplanes flying above your neighborhood is a normal occurance.
52. 9:30 isnt just a time, its a place.
* Added by other people *
53. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names.
54. You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor
55. You live 5 minutes from at least 2 high schools, but you go to one thats 30 minutes away.
56. You know at least 3 alternate routes to avoid sitting at a stop light.
57. You can't pull up to a 7-11 without seeing at least one cop, and usually there's another cop sitting not too far away.
58. You refer to distances in minutes, not miles.
59. When you put on your turn signal to change lanes, the people next to you speed up.
60. Talking on metro in the morning is prohibited

53. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names.

ahahaha oh so true.
fucking braddock/walney/centreville road

When you don't miss your hometown one bit.

61. Your house has doubled in value in the last 5 years.
62. You couldn't afford to buy they house in which you live.
63. You feel vauguely .com-ish about the NOVA real estate market.
64. A mixing bowl is something through which you drive.
65. You leave the house at 0600 so that the commute is reasonable.
66. You've had a police cruiser blow by you at 75 mph, lights extinguished.
67. You're thinking of setting up stables at both your home and office park, so that you can commute to work more quickly on horseback. A fine blend of retro and conspicuous consumption, no? .
68. You wonder what the required crater dimensions are on the Fairfax County Parkway before they trot their faulty ___es out to fix the asphalt.

66. You've had a police cruiser blow by you at 75 mph, lights extinguished

That's happened to other people too? I always get that (particularly on Guinea Rd)

69.When you see houses that are no more than 10 feet from the road (West Ox).

69.a When you see houses that are ten feet from one of the most heavily traveled roads in the area during rush hour, thereby preventing any reasonable attempt to widen the road to two lanes and end an impassable bottleneck.

/whatever happened to "imminent domain", they were totally willing to cut hundreds of houses out of the way for the parkway when it was built, I guess that must have rubbed a few heads wrong.

69.b When you see a brand-new house whose driveway connects to a six lane divided highway that carries traffic 24 hours a day, and that is congested for 12 of those hours, seven days a week.

70. You have at least one friend who's parents can't talk about what they do for a living.

70 already made the list

71. You get beautiful weather all throughout the work-week, but it rains every weekend.

72. When you do something blatantly and unquestionably illegal with a group of friends that consists of 1) the son of a DEA agent, 2) the son of the chief justice of the Fairfax County General District Court, 3) the son of an FBI agent, 4) the son of a secret service agent, and 5) an aide to George HW Bush, and the police don't know how to handle the situation, so they just back off quietly and go away. I mean, they don't say anything, but just get back in their cars and drive away. All six cops. Practically squeal wheels to get away.

73. When you get harrassed by the police for sleeping in your car, at 17, with beer cans all over your car, in some non-descript dead end street, and you tell them that you are waiting to pick up so-and-so to go to Kings Dominion, who happens to be the son of the chief justice of the general district court, and the police say, "oh, well, sorry to bother you, have a nice morning" and drive away.

74. You honk your horn because someone is aobut to slam into your car. And they chase you for 20 minutes for having the nerve to warn them of their mistake.

75. Someone runs a stop sign, nearly missing you, and then follows you to complain to you that you shouldn't be driving so fast because they have children in the car.

76. You narrowly miss hitting someone in the left lane who has decided they need to turn right RIGHT NOW.

77. You've sat behind someone who believes it is their god-given duty to drive in the left lane, matching the speed of the car in the right lane, even though they are both driving 10 mph under the posted speed limit.

78. You're not shocked to see people merge onto a highway and immediately go directly to the left lane, and then go either AT or below the posted speed limit.

79. Everyone you see on the road doesn't use a turn signal

80. Turning left onto another road into the left lane, and then signalling and turning into the right line, as is proscribed in driving manuals, is unusual, if not unheard of. Turning into the farthest lane is easier when you are on a cell phone, even though it is illegal.

81. When driving in DC, you actually expect and compensate for the car in front of you randomly coming to a complete stop for no reason. And you're not shocked when they turn off onto a one way street in the wrong direction across 4 lanes of traffic.

82. It's pouring rain, the sun is setting, and if you're lucky every fifth person has their headlights turned on.

haha god these are all so true...I'm in High School and I can relate to every single one of those. Especialy the ones on the schools and how we are under no conditions actually part of the rest of Virginia. I'm a northerner...DAMNIT!

You've accidentally driven into top secret government headquarters.
I have... THREE TIMES!

83) ...one day it is 90 degrees out and 85% humidity and the next day there is a posibility of snow.

84) ...the middle finger actually makes you smile because you see it so ofter.

84.b Even the old, wrinkled, fat, jolly-looking woman is flicking you off in traffic.

your speeding around an empty business parking lot at night and randomly take a turn behind a building and run into the the Herndon S.W.A.T. teams, which consits completley of 4 vehichles.

85. You hit every single fucking red light during rush hour, every day.

86. The dumb bitch at Hair Cuttery slices the sideburns off your face cause she doesn't understand a lick of English (fluent in Engrish though).

87. You go to Haircuttery
88. You try to look like Elvis

89. You know that Don Geronimo is not an indian.

90. hooka bars are one of the only places to hang out @ 4am in the morning after getting piss drunk....

91. Have lil bag stations to pick up after your dog at various areas in your neighborhood.

92. When more than half of the people in your high school is a pot head.....

93. When you see people running at 4am in the morning.....

94. Your dining choices consist of "Applebee's," "TGI Fridays" and "Bennigans."
95. Being an asshole to others is a point of pride.
96. Parents sue schools for giving their kids a "B" but the kids are free to build pipe bombs in the garage.
97. You either bought your house in 1969 or you are teetering on the verge of bankruptcy trying to make your mortgage payment.
98. Your name is Juan, Sanjay or Chet.

Firrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 90. hooka bars are one of the only places to hang
> out @ 4am in the morning after getting piss
> drunk....
>
> 93. When you see people running at 4am in the
> morning.....


4am in the morning as opposed to...

i am sorry i forgot to mention they are 70.....

99. They just tore down that old house across the street and put up 10 McMansions in its place.

100. The cops run in front of moving vehicles to try and stop them, and then shoot at said vehicles, killing passengers, all the while saying they were trying to stop the car. Said cop is not prosecuted.

and 101. The SWAT team is brought out to arrest people for running gambling operations. Said SWAT team shoots suspect so that they will not have to bother handcuffing the suspect.

102. You are pissed because you can't buy the McMansion across the street and no one will buy your overpriced house due to the McMansion across the steet.

103. Have nothing better to do than to whine day noon and night about the police in your area.

104., Expect the police to fix the problems in your area as long as they don't bother you.

"77. You've sat behind someone who believes it is their god-given duty to drive in the left lane, matching the speed of the car in the right lane, even though they are both driving 10 mph under the posted speed limit."

105. So in an attempt to deal with #77, you drop back a bit until the left lane dick slows down a bit, opening a gap, through which you accelerate at wide-open-throttle passing the left lane dick on the right, until you are now in front of the left-lane-dick at 20MPH over the speed limit who is now riding your ass because they speed up to try to keep you from passing. So you hit your brakes hard and slow down to 10MPH over the speed limit and the left lane dick dives into the right lane where they should have been all along.

106. The left lane dick is invariably driving a Toyota, usually a Camry.

107. The left lane dick's camry, unacustomed to driving the speed limit, breaks down, and if you are lucky, moves to the shoulder. However, the rest of the left lane dicks feel that it is there god-given duty to slow to a 15 mph crawl to observe a fellow LLD changing a tire and calling the police., thus backing up the highway for 10 miles.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2007 10:07AM by KeepOnTruckin.

108. You freak out about a dusting of snow in April. Make sure you stock up on rock salt and milk, freaks.

Hmm I went out and got milk during the snowstorm last night, I forgot that's a cliche move.

I just wanted some strawberry milk though, I woulda gone to get it rain or shine.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2007 07:31PM by RESton Peace.

Hah! fairfax county people are awesome...............



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/08/2007 10:49AM by Firrat.

109. You live in Virginia but don't actually consider yourself a resident of Virginia.

110. You are surprised when you DON'T have to pay for parking.

111. You spend so much time at your lobbying firm working against illegal immigration that you have to hire Jose, Juanita and Alejandro to take care of your house and raise your kids.

112. You will actually wait in a 10-minute line for Chipotle.

113. You will actually wait in a 20-minute line for Five Guys.

114. You will wait all friggin' day at the DMV.

115. You know what HOV and HOA mean.

116. You have a round-trip commute each day of 40 miles. You drive a Hummer and bitch about gas prices.

117. You've seen the same car/driver, that wouldn't speed up on the merge lane like you're supposed to, accelerate like mad to get through a yellow light.

118. A car speeds amazingly fast past you, intentionally swerves toward your vehicle, cuts you off and gives you the middle finger cause you weren't going 20mph over the speed limit, then the nearest cop pulls YOU over for flashing your high beams at him and gives YOU the aggressive driving ticket.

119. Your neighbor knocks on your door and asks you if you've seen their lost horse.
120. Every other car has a carmax sticker on it
121. Every other car has an OBX sticker on it
122. You know at least one person that lives in South Riding
123. You drive 10 mi outside your city and all of a sudden you're surrounded by rednecks
124. You buy a 1M+ homes in fucking Purceville, VA
125. You sell your house because you can't afford the property tax
126. You go to any other city and are amazed you have to pay to enter a museum
127. You have, on many occasions, almost gotten killed in a car accident while trying to navigate one of the circles in DC
128. You're trying to learn spanish so you can hire cheap labor at 7-11
129. You spend the entire weekend driving your kids around to their activities
130. You have, at one time, wondered what people are doing to afford these huge McMansions.

131. You either know a street by it's literal name or it's highway number, but not both

132. You take the "To Richmond" exit to 495 to get somewhere and, on the return trip, you take the "To Richmond" exit to 495 to get home.
133. You've lived here all your life and don't know what direction the inner loop or outer loop is.
134. You've gotten lost in DC in the worse part of town because all the fucking one way signs point there.
135. You know that the "exorcist stairs" leads to a gas station

When driving on I-66 between Rt 50 and the Beltway (either direction) feels like you're driving off-road.

136. You go house hunting in places like Columbus, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati and don't blink an eye when the real estate agent seems embarrassed to tell you that the brand new, 3500+ square foot executive house with 5 bedrooms and 3 1/2 baths is *gasp* $389K.

You make more money per year than 90% of the people in the U.S., and you can only afford to live in a shitty run-down townhouse built 40 years ago.

You've lived in a shitty run-down townhouse for the last 5 years, and have never met your neighbors.

To get the number 4 at Mcdonalds, you have to say "Numero quattro".

Are amazed when you go out of town, and people actually act civil, and say hello to each other.

You are surprised when you go out of town and see White people working fast food jobs

You are surprised when you go out of town and see White people working fast food jobs

Haha, good one. Every time I visit family in PA, stuff like that strikes me as being strange. I recently went to a dry cleaner in my old hometown up there, and everyone working in there was a white male. Gauranteed you'll never see something like that around here.

You're Very Richmond If:

-You live in the West End

-Your first name sounds like a last name

-Your idea of multiculturalism is inviting someone from Chesterfield county to your dinner party

-You remember when the Landmark Theater was "The Mosque"

-When you're in a room with other Richmonders you discover you're all somehow related

-You claim to be related to Pocohantas

-The very mention of the word "snow" and you rush to Ukrop's to buy bread and milk

-You refer to things as before the War and after the War

-You know that Shockoe Slip has nothing to do with women's underwear

-You know that the real Richmond is north of the "Rivah"

-You know at least one girl named Fontaine

-You recommend all the wonderful local museums to out of towners that you never visit yourself.

-Your friends in Northern Virginia are always asking you for advice on manners and social ettiquette

-You ask people what church they attend instead of the rude (and tacky) "what do you do?"

-Your first job was dulcet at the Museum of The Confederacy

137. People on the same block who have lived there their entire lives all have completely different accents.

138. You go anywhere else in the country and your bar tab is less than you usually leave as a tip in NoVa

139. You are the only white person in the K-Mart.
140. You know that INOVA and NOVA are not the same thing.
141. You know that Kaiser Permanente was not the villian played by Kevin Spacey in "The Usual Suspects.
142. You have a six-figure car that will go 0 to 60 in 4.9 seconds and you've never had it past 40 MPH.

- You're not actually from Northern Virginia.

- About half of the cars in your apartment complex have out-of-state tags because people think the personal property tax is a joke.

- You can leave the area, come back in ten years, and you will see the very same construction taking place on the beltway.

- You actually thought your salary offer was amazing, until you moved down here.

lol

I once got offered a job in new york city making 50k a year, back when I was making 24 a year (1998ish). I thought I had hit the jackpot, until I (luckily) got curious about rent and cost of day-to-day living and realized it was insane and 50k would not cover living within the city... I guess it's getting to be the same way around here. I'd be a pauper right now if I wasn't in a two-income household.

RESton Peace Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lol
>
> I once got offered a job in new york city making
> 50k a year, back when I was making 24 a year
> (1998ish). I thought I had hit the jackpot, until
> I (luckily) got curious about rent and cost of
> day-to-day living and realized it was insane and
> 50k would not cover living within the city... I
> guess it's getting to be the same way around here.
> I'd be a pauper right now if I wasn't in a
> two-income household.


Yeah, 50k a year is nothing if you plan on living in the city. I'm from NY myself, grew up about 30min north of the Bronx. 50k a year up around my hometown would be decent, but still nothing great.

When I got the offer to come down here (60k a year), I thought I hit the jackpot as well. I admit I probably didn't do as much homework about the area as I should have, but oh well. Being in a long-distance relationship for the time being doesn't help much either.

Dash2110 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Yeah, 50k a year is nothing if you plan on living
> in the city. I'm from NY myself, grew up about
> 30min north of the Bronx. 50k a year up around my
> hometown would be decent, but still nothing
> great.
>
> When I got the offer to come down here (60k a
> year), I thought I hit the jackpot as well. I
> admit I probably didn't do as much homework about
> the area as I should have, but oh well. Being in a
> long-distance relationship for the time being
> doesn't help much either.


You need at least six figures to have a comparable standard of living here compared to other parts of the country. I don't know how people making $20K to $40K in this area make it.

137. You know exactly what time you have to leave work in DC to beat the 395 HOV restrictions

138. You are stuck in traffic in Arlington county on 66 no matter what time of day you go through to get to Fairfax

139. Your neighbors have corn growing in the backyard
140. You've seen chickens run across your neighbors lawn, and then two weeks later, suddenly are gone.
141. You have on several occasions come home from work to see any of your neighbors have a mariachi band outside of their house.
142. You can't stand your neighbors.

It snows and all but one county misses school.

Can anyone take a guess to what it is?

137. screw snow days, FCPS get wind days.

Fairfax MF---er Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 142. You have a six-figure car that will go 0 to
> 60 in 4.9 seconds and you've never had it past 40
> MPH.


sorry - i just wanted to revise this one for you..

142. You have a six-figure car that will go 0 to 60 in 4.9 seconds and the only time you had it past 40 MPH, you got a ticket.

This is great. Thanks for posting. I take exception to #18 though. Im a hillbilly
from Ohio, but my roots are Eastern Kentucky and Tennessee.

"18. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner""

They say we tawlk funny up yonder, but it just aint truuuueee!

wind days. Didnt we let out early for there being too much wind? oh yeah, lol, i remember that.

FCPS is responsible for getting 110,000 kids home safely, so yeah, high winds can cause early releases. Downed trees in Clifton/Fairfax Station alone can cause havoc with the buses. And the threat to students walking from bus stops from falling limbs/power lines is real.

You people laughing would be the first to be calling lawyers if your kid gets hurt while in FCPS custody.

The administrators that make the closing/early release decisions are truly damned if they do, damned if they don't. They have a couple hundred thousand monday morning quarterbacks.

And nobody can forget the winter morning a few years ago...they opened the schools when they shouldn't have...and wrecked 40 buses in less than an hour.

i wasnt complaining about their decision.

the day when all the buses crashed was in 2005. february i think, not 100% on that.

The only reason i was concerned about the wind day was becuase it seems to me that a school bus is a relativly large vehicle with a lot of surface area and high center of grav. I can see putting the students from trailers and etc, inside, that is smart. However sending students home early, in the wind, i dont know the reasoning behind that but the bus or walking home , to me, doesnt seem the smarted place to be in a wind storm.

BTW, the windstorm was either april 16 or 17. i remember there were about 2000 reporters swarming Cville HS b/c it had just been announced Cho sung-asian was from centreville, but not westfield HS. and the kids were coming out early and the reporters were there filming it all, calling the school and etc.

dude thats awesome and hilarious. cant wait to get the fuck out of reston and move back to florida!

143: you've played at least one game of football, baseball or any sport in a "pipeline field" (common area)

144: when you have nothing to do you go to Reston town center to window shop

145: you turn on the news every morning to a triple shooting in NW D.C.

146: you try and hurry down to the obx in the summer to get a job but all the Russians have been there since December.

147: when it takes 15 minutes to go through 1/2 a mile in fairfax city.

148: when somebody is in a crash on the parkway next to fair oaks and is airlifted to fairfax hospital.

149: when you don't quite understand why all the old churches are now Korean Methodist worship centers.

150: when the entire fire station is dispatched for your neighbor with a cough

151: when you know how much your burrito at chipotle is after tax.

152: when you know who "GUY" is from the Herndon giant.

153: when every small business tanks because of the food chains and superstores at every exit.

154: you take pride that a transformers movie had a scene in the udvar hazy museum near Dulles.

155: you can't see the brake lights of that bug with a million bumper stickers.

156: leesburg is a day trip because of rt. 7 traffic

158: you fucking hate Compton road and the bay bridge.

159: half the people at your school think they're good enough for their lacrosse team.

160: NOVA no longer means northern Virginia once you get to your junior year in high school.

161: when your hippie friend only talks about Richard bland college

162: when your pretty damn sure that the people operating the lights on centreville road are laughing at you speeding to a red light after yours just turned green.

163: if you really think that the redskins are gonna be good year after year.

164: when you realize that falls church high school is in fact a fairfax school.

165: when you see the strips on the road in the winter you get excited but realize that it was 48 degrees that day.

166: when you slip and fall in your street in the summer because of all the salt and gravel from the winter.

167: when you feel better after seeing someone get pulled over for making an illegal u turn you did yesterday.

168: when you have at least one teacher your pretty sure is a pedophile.

169: you realize that the fair lakes parkway ramp has made no progress in 6 months.

170. You have been in at least one situation were you have had to yell at a very inconsiderate biker who doesn't realize they are going 30mph under the speed limit

171. When you spend 1hr in line at the 7-11 because the all of the illegal hispanics pilled in at once,to get coffee and hotdogs, and you spend the next 15 minutes screaming MARLBORO!! to the brown person wearing a Burka behind the counter.

172. when you realize nobody bothers to look at the dates on the threads LoLz

173. when you read about somebody complaining about other customers when they themselves are incapable of simple communication

When your entire neighborhood is neavue riche

When your neavue riche friends pretend they are blue bloods

174..when you notice the women think they are L.A 10's when in fact they are 2's at best.

from the 758 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 87. You go to Haircuttery
> 88. You try to look like Elvis

lol'ed hard
Attachments:

-Your a horrible driver
-You refuse to use turn signals
-You ask where the other 3 cop cars are when you get pulled over
-You go out every week to a national chain restaurant
-You suck at life

bad grammar
Attachments:

59. This is the only place on earth where this happens consistently and sums up NOVA for me.

175. You get harassed by the cops for your car being too loud
176. The pot heads always manage to skip class successfully
177. you pay people to change your oil
178. you pay people to cut your grass
179. your highschool is underfunded, but test scores are high
180. you call everyone nigga

brandong99 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 175. You get harassed by the cops for your car
> being too loud
> 176. The pot heads always manage to skip class
> successfully
> 177. you pay people to change your oil
> 178. you pay people to cut your grass
> 179. your highschool is underfunded, but test
> scores are high
> 180. you call everyone nigga


You should proceed to the Woodrow Wilson, park car and jump. That is all.

. You laugh and joke about the death of an illegal immigrant.
. you put on your blinker to make the guy in the next lane speed up

181- you fuck 20 bitches a day

182- when you say fuck it, and go to the pentagon city macy's 3rd floor men's restroom.

183. If you hear a helicopter circling overhead, you immediately check fairfaxunderground to find out why.

184. You've ever had to point at menu items/pictures at a fast food restaurant to enable the cashier/server to understand what you want.

185. You are truly surprised when said fast food order is correct, especially when obtained through the drive through.

186. You get irrationally angry at Sonic and Hardees commercials.

@ clifton yokel

#186. BEST ONE SO FAR. Seriously, learn your demographic. why spend money on an ad for a product no one can readily access? SUCH A TEASE!

187. You pay someone to pick up after your dog.

188. your parents are immune to traffic tickets because of their job

189. If you haven't killed at least one deer with your car, you're just not trying.

190. You cant remember when you could drive at night on the beltway/66 without major backups due to road construction.

Actually these things apply to people who have moved into Northern Va. Not to the few remaining people who are actually from Northern Va.

L.A. women are hog ho's Northern Va. Chicks are the hottest by FAR.

The Final Word Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> L.A. women are hog ho's Northern Va. Chicks are
> the hottest by FAR.


you must be a nigger.

final word u r sooo right. i lived in l.a. for 2 decades and the girls here in nova are a thousand times hotter than anything in that toilet. just laugh at david allen coe he is obviously describing his mother, not you.

final word u r sooo right. i lived in l.a. for 2 decades and the girls here in nova are a thousand times hotter than anything in that toilet. just laugh at david allen coe he is obviously describing his mother, not you.

You think you are the center if the universe.

But you're really just a douche bag.

True northern Virginian

from the 758 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 87. You go to Haircuttery
> 88. You try to look like Elvis

LMAO

I like 55. I'm 5-10 minutes from both Chantilly HS and Centreville HS but my kids go to Fairfax HS.

191. Fairfax county has bridges built in the 30's with tens of thousands of cars crossing them each day while other parts of Virginia have brand new roads to nowhere because we pay most of the states taxes but the legislature gives us back pennies on the dollar.

http://www.virginiadot.org/projects/northernvirginia/route_29_over_little_rocky_run.asp

192. rent consumes your first paycheck and digs into the second one for a one bedroom apartment.

193.FAIRFAX UNDERGROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is an earthquake and you think it's just artillery practice at Quantico again.

A trip from Marumsco Plaza to Nottingdale now takes 45 minutes instead of the 20 minutes it took 15 years ago.

PWC uses eminent domain to build lux housing and a "town center" by condemning undeveloped land.

PWC builds houses so close together that you could have a community dinner without leaving your house.

You can not leave your neighborhood in any direction without passing a shopping center containing a haircuttery, grocery store,nail salon, ABC store and fast foodjoint. Seriously-do they have a template for these things-they all look alike.

There are lines of little girls who want to be girl scouts and NO PARENTS want to become leaders. So the parents stand around and complain because they can't be bothered to do the work to give their girls the experience they want them to have.

The police have raided a house on your street at least 3 times.

Someone in your apartment complex used an illegal grill and set the roof on fire.

You live in an apartment complex with a wierdo who has taken their family memebers hostage and you can't go home that night. And you're not worried because you already have a plan and an alternate place to stay. And a packed bag in the car-complete with toothbrush and snacks.

You do not make eye contact with anyone-ever.

Should you need an estimate for home repair and you have to go with the guy who shows up. The other four just never show up.

You keep a bag of stuff to do in the car for the 9 hour emergency room wait. Unless you're justthisclose to dead-they just don't have time to see you.

You know where there is a government safehouse in your neighborhood.

No one talks about the interesting crap they see at various public places-because they don't want to get taken out for witnessing a drop or an actual crime.

You are angry with shows like NCIS because their version of here is soooooooooo way better than here.

One of your classmates dings up her car on the way to school and her daddy has a new one delivered to the school parking lot-before lunch.

You get all the dirt on the president cuz your classmates parents are secret service agents.

When you leave town and people stop to let you cross the street and you do not know what to do. Too used to people trying to run you over.

The kids can't ever go outside because PWC has sprayed for mosquitos- and that stuff makes your kids break out in rashes and develop asthma.

When you leave town for a visit and never ever want to go back.

"When you leave town for a visit and never ever want to go back."

When you can relate to this statement 100 percent.

you know you are from no va when you:

spend 4 years in college majoring in history,

feel miffed that you can't get a high paying job with this major,

act put out that you are expected to work for a living after graduation,

are afraid to live in an apt because you spent 4 years in whiteville jmu,

wear vt clothes every day and believe people are impressed,

say you went to uva and expect the world to bow at your feet,

are afraid to go to centreville for lunch,

act like a spoiled, entitled brat on a daily basis.

BUWAHAHAHA!! Every single one of these is spot one! XD

Well, I like the Redskins

-you become homeless as an american and are told its a 3 month wait so sleep in your car until we call you- just for a shelter bed. yet paco, maria, and their 10 children gets a bed that night and a section 8 voucher the next day.

-you go to apply for child care assistance and told there is a 6 month wait-yet people on welfare get child care right away. and they are not even working.

-you notice 10 people living in a 1 bedroom apartment but management looks the other way and collects the rent checks and you have to pay for their water/gas/trash since its shared.

-you walk in a grocery store that's not a chain and NO ONE speaks english. Tried to support the local business but they get mad you are there!

-followed through said ethnic store if you are not their ethnicity.

-can't even tell what kind of business it is- NO signs in english.

-the person in front of you is in designer clothes on an iphone using their EBT to pay for a cart full of expensive steak and shrimp or worse a cart of junk food for their kids (no real food). Take out a bankroll and pay cash for the 3 12 packs of corona and carton of cigs. Then load it all in their 2012 SUV with the flames already put on the side.

When you believe the redskins will win a super bowl.
when you see more illegal spics than in texas,or california.

when you think people from the counrtyside just don't get the big picture

bigfoot Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you believe the redskins will win a super
> bowl.
> when you see more illegal spics than in texas,or
> california.


Bam!!!

You wonder when Those Noisy ass Bikers from Rolling thunder will stop invading your quiet leafy suburb on Memorial day weekend.

Your license plate has VA but your accent is that god awful fucking Lon gIsland accent.

"-can't even tell what kind of business it is- NO signs in english."

I think you meant Engrish.

Clearly written by someone who has never lived in Los Angeles.

NS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Clearly written by someone who has never lived in
> Los Angeles.


Long Island, dummy.

"You've lived in a shitty run-down townhouse for the last 5 years, and have never met your neighbors.
"

Spot on!

sfgsfgsfdg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> NS Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Clearly written by someone who has never lived
> in
> > Los Angeles.
>
>
> Long Island, dummy.


same thing

I love number 152!

194. You know what bama means and remember when people called each other that.

195. You used to use "jone" and can't stand the Junkeez using it now.

you are an educated woman but look for a rich man because you are too damn lazy to work, clean a home, or cook a meal. you want to be a stay at home mom but invest your resources into making the school system help your kid because it cuts into your salon time. you consider networking manipulating your children's friendships to serve your own agenda.

Fuck you crackers!!!
Attachments:

You know you're from NOVA when you spam the board with the N-word and pics of black people but you aren't even black yourself. Why the obsession with black people?

196ish...When being a true "local" makes you an exotic creature of extreme rarity, if two people over thirty, actually born in Fairfax, our even Virginia, meet in one place a black hole will form. At least all the damn Yankees will get pulled out too...

-Forgot to add...
Definitely from NOVA if you get rid of your three year old car because its "getting up there"

When you hear the word "Snow" on the radio and head to the store to stock up on 3 months worth of Milk and toilet paper like it was the end of the world!

You act like you're in the south but your accent says New Jersey.

You bash on rolling thunder every Memorial Day.

You don't know how to kick start an AMF year Harley.

You Hang out at Jackson's at the RTC and start a fight, thinking you're in Compton. Then roll out in your parents BMW.

You trade in your Beamer for a Smartcar so you can skip the tolls and rush hour traffic on Rt. 7 to drive to work on the O & D trail.

that list was WORTHLESS and not true in any way possible

and the 3 car garages ... some are trying to get those people arrested

You let your twelve year old daughter smoke at the dinner table.......

In front of her daughter.....

SiriusB Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You trade in your Beamer for a Smartcar so you can
> skip the tolls and rush hour traffic on Rt. 7 to
> drive to work on the O & D trail.

You actually know what the trail is called.

197. Your high school football team or one nearby recently won the VA State Championship.

198. When you watch movies like "Friday Night Lights" or "Remember the Titans" the gameplay isn't much more intense then your HS team.

We don't make it, but we still pay for the foreigners to go on welfare while their countrymen plan to blow up the US. You don't qualify for any social services, but your Arab, Latino and black neighbors who make more than you do.

You or someone you know thinks being white should be a free pass, and that all those others only got so far ahead of your good-for-nothing ass because of that unfair affirmative action.

You or someone you know is an older government worker import angry at all normal local white people because they somehow threaten your fragile sense of class status and your ability to pick up underaged twinks, and thus you desperately desire to replace them with foreigners who are easier to feel superior towards.

Your idiot neighbors come running out of the house with shotguns if you play James Taylor's "Oh, Mexico" on the patio sound system. Worse yet, if it's Garland Jeffreys' "El Salvador".

Brian Singer's favorite democrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You or someone you know is an older government
> worker import angry at all normal local white
> people because they somehow threaten your fragile
> sense of class status and your ability to pick up
> underaged twinks, and thus you desperately desire
> to replace them with foreigners who are easier to
> feel superior towards.


+1

Your Prius still has an Obama sticker on it.

Long Timer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your license plate has VA but your accent is that
> god awful fucking Lon gIsland accent.


+1

Funny

You Know You're From Northern Virginia When... Katie

Here's a good one Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You Know You're From Northern Virginia When...
> Katie


Damn

The word " snow" is mentioned by the newscasters, the next minute the schools close and govt shuts down. you cancel all your plans, run to store to load up on food bc Armeggedon is coming...and nothing happens

make the bad man stop !!

25. There are at least 3 malls within 20 minutes of your house

that's just the thing your head is in the sand

look at the newly rich black areas in MD

more malls , nicer ones , per black person there than per citizen here - far more

and yes they built those new hoods but with who's money

your idea it won't go unquestioned is bullshit

your head is also in the sand becase ...

MOST all the shopping malls here your referring to were built on the land already paid for and prepared (strip malls already having power water gas and buildings) by democrats taking out big loans

your asserting these are signs of fx co gov is WRONG. the 1980's fx co gov would have put people in prison for what's going on

it's the democrats using favoritism and tax money

what your seeing is the result of everything people were told not to do : which is exactly what demcrats make a business of doing - breaking laws for cash

> 1. Speed limits are just suggestions

again just head in sand

> 18. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner"

YOUR DUMB AS SHIT

YOU LIVE IN AN AREA BUILT (MOST BUILDING, POWER WATER GAS)

BY STRONG AND LOYAL SOUTHERNERS

69. When your stunttin like your daddy
69. When your stunttin like your daddy
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69. When your stunttin like your daddy
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the answer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "When you leave town for a visit and never ever
> want to go back."
>
> When you can relate to this statement 100 percent.


GONE!

Sick of Fucking Rednecks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your idiot neighbors come running out of the house
> with shotguns if you play James Taylor's "Oh,
> Mexico" on the patio sound system. Worse yet, if
> it's Garland Jeffreys' "El Salvador".


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQnHAb_6sOs

good shit.

YKYFNVW...you've got nothing better to do than post stupid fights and drama in a forum about the white trash who live there.

bumped...

when you've been held virtual prisoner for several years.

you go out finally and see democrats have changed all stores that sold almost exclusively (many exclusively) made in USA products to made in china.

you notice while several years ago there were few mexicans and asian - that now they've apparently been robbing banks and government becasue they're damn everywhere. go to the mall it's as if your in asia and at a tourist area mostly mexicans go to: as if your not in the USA

it's either that or democrats have been counterfeiting not the foreingers, and have been using that for imports and free labor

--------------------
either way if your used to seeing america in fairfax, have been illegally held for years, and years later walk out the door to see your in a fucking different country and it's full of MOLES.

Than your definitely in Fairfax, Virginia.

90% of Made in America is made by illegals who smell like tortillas ass and detergent, ask any bluecollar American trying to get a factory job. They run a scam of hiring a hodge podge group of citizens then in a week or so say they're all magically inefficient and so fire them all while the Mexican trolls work drunk, don't follow build as per the specifications, and don't care about fixing broken equipment or product quality. Think about that next time have to return a cabinet from Home Depot or Lowes.

When you take a wrong turn and accidentally end up at the CIA headquarters.

When theres less than an inch of snow on the ground and the whole county shuts down rip

You finally accept the fact that most drivers attempting to move into your lane have no idea what their turn signal stalk is used for...

You leave 2-3 car space lengths in front you while at a traffic light.

Your house only has brick on the front and you can only get one car in your two car garage.

Joke Insurance Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You leave 2-3 car space lengths in front you while
> at a traffic light.

Or you stop in the left-hand turn lane past the white line, out of the box, and then wonder why the light doesn't change for you...

You teach in a school in which over 80 percent of the class do not speak or understand English.

Even though road construction now seems to occur during all seasons we still have to deal with multiple flat tires and ruined suspensions since there are still millions of potholes.

200. When you leave, say you'll never come back again, but end up coming back again because your significant other ended up working for the government after college.

201. When you stop smoking pot for a drug test at work and become an alcoholic instead.

202. Where you pay 25 dollars for a gram of pot from some Korean guy, but receive .8 grams and are totally okay with that.

203. When you've considered suicide at least a hand full of times, and consider homicide regularly while driving.

204. When a neighbor has reported you to the HOA for a bumper sticker and they tell you to take it off or they will tow you for driving a "commercial vehicle"

205. When you don't have time to cook, but are too poor for a sit in, and too health conscious to settle for fast food, so you starve yourself instead

206. You remember Jaxx night club used to be a heavy metal bar, but then it turned into some kind of gay persian dance club...then it became empire, and now who knows?....you still have never tried afghan kabob.

These types of things seem to be popular for articles.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/31-signs-you-are-from-northern-virginia?ref=fb

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/23-signs-you-grew-up-in-nova

https://www.buzzfeed.com/primtimecity/22-signs-you-were-raised-in-northern-va-1pkza

http://www.bustle.com/articles/43121-15-things-only-people-from-northern-virginia-understand

When you note intersection signs that used to advertise Summer soccer, baseball and football camp offerings have been replaced by signs that announce 'Indoor Summer Cricket Camp'... thing's are a changing.

207. You blow through your parents' retirement money on endless lawsuits that you constantly undermine while knowing that you're going to lose anyhow.

208. You see Fairfax Underground in a local news story, wonder what it is and then get hooked on this crazy site!

yOU JUMP ON YOUR BIKE TO COMMUTE TO dc ON THE intercounty bike trail only to have to fight for space to ride alongside the little smart cars sneaking along there for a faster commute to work.

Way before it became LEFTIST propaganda for McAful & Co.....
Before Chris core whores himself out to window and roofing companies.....
Before mouthy nigger Clinton Yates babbles....
It was a great Station.
Miss the old 1500 AM

.

209. - Your HHI is north of $300k

All in the House Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 208. You see Fairfax Underground in a local news
> story, wonder what it is and then get hooked on
> this crazy site!


Yup.

You went to high school with Paul Manafort's daughters and knew he was a crook before CNN did.

You eat lunch at Tippy Tacos and shit yourself on the commute home from work

When the area you grew up in ~20 years ago looks NOTHING like the area you grew up in ~20 years ago. Holy hell.

When you say “warsh ington”

Greybeard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Joke Insurance Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You leave 2-3 car space lengths in front you
> while
> > at a traffic light.
>
> Or you stop in the left-hand turn lane past the
> white line, out of the box, and then wonder why
> the light doesn't change for you...

Hahaha. Over and Over again.

You spend several days speculating on internal social media about getting a day off instead of actually working. And the worst part is you probably will not even give a passing thought to George H. W. Bush on your day off. Enjoy your time at the mall

You are going to buy spotify plays to listen to the best music and try to sell your mixtapes not only by putting it into Happy Meal at work.

Numbskull Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you say “warsh ington”


and “idear”

234. When you like to suck dicks and vote for Democrats

236. You're surrounded by white trash, black trash, and third-world trash.

And you think your either at the UN or in a third world country but we need more immigrants to take the American dream away from young Americans say the Democrats

You don't need to be at Shoppers anyway there everywhere America needs to take a break from all immigration for the next 5 to 10 years and build that wall to slow down the illegals

350 million plus now slam that door for a while and some

The democrats need third-world immigration to provide an electorate that is comfortable with corrupt, dysfunctional government.

237. When you celebrate group-think and mindlessly repeat mainstream media nonsense as your own original thoughts.

>The democrats need third-world immigration to provide an electorate that is comfortable with corrupt, dysfunctional government.

That's been making more and more sense for the last twenty years

Leeches who come for US welfare don't care about any concepts of freedom, when the US has bankrupted they will happily head back home where they come and go as they please

you come back after a few years and dont recognize ANYTHING because of all the new development.

When libtards and beaners outnumber Americans.

When you come home to your rented room in the million dollar townhouse and find 2 of your 15 beaner other renters having sex in your bed in your room while you were at work.

Fair Lakes Commuter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I like 55. I'm 5-10 minutes from both Chantilly
> HS and Centreville HS but my kids go to Fairfax
> HS.
>
> 191. Fairfax county has bridges built in the 30's
> with tens of thousands of cars crossing them each
> day while other parts of Virginia have brand new
> roads to nowhere because we pay most of the states
> taxes but the legislature gives us back pennies on
> the dollar.
>
> http://www.virginiadot.org/projects/northernvirgin
> ia/route_29_over_little_rocky_run.asp


Yep I went to Fairfax but can hear the football games from Centreville High School from my house. I went to Centreville Elementary but I guess they changed the boundaries for my neighborhood around 5th grade. Kind of sucks because I never saw those people from Centreville Elementary again.

37532 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fair Lakes Commuter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I like 55. I'm 5-10 minutes from both
> Chantilly
> > HS and Centreville HS but my kids go to Fairfax
> > HS.
> >
> > 191. Fairfax county has bridges built in the
> 30's
> > with tens of thousands of cars crossing them
> each
> > day while other parts of Virginia have brand
> new
> > roads to nowhere because we pay most of the
> states
> > taxes but the legislature gives us back pennies
> on
> > the dollar.
> >
> >
> http://www.virginiadot.org/projects/northernvirgin
>
> > ia/route_29_over_little_rocky_run.asp
>
>
> Yep I went to Fairfax but can hear the football
> games from Centreville High School from my house.
> I went to Centreville Elementary but I guess they
> changed the boundaries for my neighborhood around
> 5th grade. Kind of sucks because I never saw those
> people from Centreville Elementary again.


Had friends that lived across from Frying Pan Park that went to Oakton High School! WTF???

You asked out and she said no and you were an little ass about it then find out her father is the director of the CIA

When That Girl In Your HS Class Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You asked out and she said no and you were an
> little ass about it then find out her father is
> the director of the CIA


Are you talking about the one off Point Rider?

You hate it when people say "in the DMV"

blanche Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You hate it when people say "in the DMV"


And what's funny is you never hear anyone say DELMARVA anymore. 30+ years ago it was used all the time in news, especially weather reports. Probably haven't heard anyone use that term in over 20 years.

...you use Fairfax Underground as your primary news source.

Billy Ward Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you take a wrong turn and accidentally end up
> at the CIA headquarters.

I remember when the sign to the CIA exit off of GW Pkwy said "Bureau of Public Roads". Finally they gave up and changed the sign cause everybody knew it was the CIA

You bought a second car, a Smart car, when you learned you could fit it easily on the C & O bike trail to commute all the way into DC and avoid the tolls.

Because you did work for the CIA and all the neighbors thought you were with the IRS because you said you could not say much about your work with computer programs
they thought were secret red flag reasons for tax audits

It is a shithole. Glads to be out.

..when you realize you and your neighbors make more money than all the hillbilly trash in SW Virginia, you know you’re from Northern Virginia

When you realize that your little bit of money your big house mortgage was not worth the rat race you lived in NOVA and you envy the hell out of the people of southwest Va who are happier then you and content with their lives but your stuck in lifeless NOVA with bills coming in the mail box daily

There's no need to live in Northern Virginia just because the jobs are here. A guy I work with does live in SW Virginia and flies up to work in his plane. He parks it in Manassas and has a small townhouse to stay in during the week.

Now that everyone is working from home there is more incentive to move away. When things open up there will be a lot more teleworking and 1-3 days a week in the office will be common.

Wealth and Class Down The Tubes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you realize that your little bit of money
> your big house mortgage was not worth the rat race
> you lived in NOVA and you envy the hell out of the
> people of southwest Va who are happier then you
> and content with their lives but your stuck in
> lifeless NOVA with bills coming in the mail box
> daily

People are so happy down there they need Oxy and Meth to get through the day.

Fuck those hillbilly trash folks who leech onto the NOVA taxpayer.

perfect timing Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's no need to live in Northern Virginia just
> because the jobs are here. A guy I work with does
> live in SW Virginia and flies up to work in his
> plane. He parks it in Manassas and has a small
> townhouse to stay in during the week.
>
> Now that everyone is working from home there is
> more incentive to move away. When things open up
> there will be a lot more teleworking and 1-3 days
> a week in the office will be common.

Without the NOVA job, there’s no plane and no house them there hills.

He could sell Meth down there and make a fraction of his salary here and try to survive though.

What does this coworker do?

Rental place is 2k+ a month and using a plane is over 100k a year for a crap plane.

Heuuh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What does this coworker do?
>
> Rental place is 2k+ a month and using a plane is
> over 100k a year for a crap plane.


It’s a figment of imagination. Nobody with and wealth and class wants to live in SW Virginia.

Heuuh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What does this coworker do?
>
> Rental place is 2k+ a month and using a plane is
> over 100k a year for a crap plane.

Defense/IC contractor. Planes aren't that costly. I owned a small plane before I moved here from Utah and it was not a tenth of that, no major overhauls included.

Commuting by plane to Manassas or Leesburg is doable but the place I would live at is just over the border in WVA so driving makes more sense and not subject to bad weather. I'm not IFR rated and even if I was I wouldn't fly IFR into this area.

.

.

.

.

the answer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "When you leave town for a visit and never ever
> want to go back."
>
> When you can relate to this statement 100 percent.


It's been 10 years since the last post. Let's see what y'all got?

Peww6 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> YOU LIVE IN AN AREA BUILT (MOST BUILDING, POWER
> WATER GAS)
>
> BY STRONG AND LOYAL SOUTHERNERS

Well, yea, I guess most of those construction workers come from south of the border, so that makes them SOUTHERNERS

You’re stuck in traffic for 3 hours after you just finished sucking a bunch of cocks (which is what most NOVA men do for a hobby.)

Because you have Northeast envy. You want to be as removed from the rest of Virginia as possible, but can't escape your roots. You wear thug clothing and drive an expensive car. You can't drive in the snow.

On your face as he stepped on your face sucking money out of your pockets with his horrible far left Democrat policies and you said "thanks for stepping on my face JOE Im a loyal Democrat far left partisan government hack"