HomeFairfax General ForumArrest/Ticket SearchWiki newPictures/VideosChatArticlesLinksAbout
Fairfax County General :  Fairfax Underground fairfax underground logo
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Date: May 17, 2019 04:36AM

It seems that while other malls are dying (Landmark) or being developed into something new (Springfield), Tyson’s always has lots of people around. You can say that’s because of rich locals, but they use Amazon like everyone else.

I have always liked the atmosphere there, and have only had one bad incident. I was dining at Seasons 52, and had just started my salad, when I felt I had to fart, and leaned over a little to do so. What happened next was a flood of diarrhea that went everywhere. I took my shorts and boxers off, asked the waitress for a to-go brown bag, and ripped two holes in the bottom. I then used the brown bag as shorts, and was able to walk to the bus stop with them on. I left a pretty good tip that day.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Charles J. ()
Date: May 17, 2019 05:49AM

Ew, I know what it’s like to be stuck though. I was on a Metro train about 10 years ago, and I must have been coming down with the flu, because I felt very nauseous. Plus I had just pounded like 14 beers at a softball game. I just started puking all over the place and the stench was horrible - people were actually screaming. I learned my lesson that day: get a flu shot!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Confused Fairfaxian ()
Date: May 17, 2019 09:20AM

When I turned 50 I went for a check-up and had to do the whole glove on hand, finger up the butt procedure. I never knew dentists did this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: something like that ()
Date: May 17, 2019 09:24AM

Confused Fairfaxian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I turned 50 I went for a check-up and had to
> do the whole glove on hand, finger up the butt
> procedure. I never knew dentists did this.


happened to me in this lady dentist's office. I didn't know you had teeth in your crotch. I'm in the dentist chair and she zips down my pants & pulls them & my underwear down & starts feeling around there. No rubber glove or nothing, she's just feeling around. Of course, eventually, I spoogeify, so she wipes up, pulls up, zips up & tells me everything's normal.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Just Infairfax ()
Date: May 17, 2019 03:29PM

I was in Atlanta in 1996, just before the Olympics. They had a bunch of new restaurants there that weren’t great, but set up for 2-3 weeks of a massive number of people. I stopped at a place that was called a deli, but it was huge and looked good (but was empty), and I ordered a sandwich.

They had these large booths for 6 which I sat down in on my own, and just before I took my first bite I had a horrible urge to shit violently. I looked around for the bathroom but it was already too late; I could hear the torrent of liquid feces run off the vinyl seating and onto the floor. I did my best to mop up with the tiny napkins provided, but they weren’t very useful. Before the Civil War, Atlanta was called Terminus.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Waples Mill resident ()
Date: May 17, 2019 05:43PM

Fair Oaks was always a decent mall.

I went once to the tobacco store and was surprised to find you could smoke a cigar in there. I lit up a cheap-ish Cohiba and after a couple of draws realized that a massive wave of diarrhea was seconds away. I ran out to the fountain and expelled the evils within me; unfortunately an Irish family was in there collecting the coins, but didn’t seem to care about the sewage I’d created.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Southern Sally, Original ()
Date: May 17, 2019 06:30PM

Since all these pitiful posts were all done just today I know what worthless piece of crab did it here, Sneed! Sneed is also gay which is why he knows about these things. I bet he also farts a lot, too! Both of these examples indicate gays, more times than not. Also this also indicates gays by their lack of class or taste, they generally have neither, as seen here.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: X9VWL ()
Date: May 17, 2019 07:11PM

There are chat rooms where your shit porn will be appreciated. Please, please find one and leave us out of it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Southern Sally, original ()
Date: May 17, 2019 07:50PM

Why did you start a thread than you do not intend to pursue? Was it just a reason to talk about what you like to do? I do not want to see your garbage and I don’t think anyone else cares to as well. You are perverted!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Cigar in southern sally ()
Date: May 17, 2019 08:01PM

Bill Clinton stuck a real Cuban inside Monica Lewinsky’s hairy pussy, then took a long whiff and quipped “that smells delicious....”
What a great guy.

P.S.
Monica gives the best blowjobs outside of Olney, MD!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Southern Sally, original ()
Date: May 18, 2019 12:43AM

Blow it out your shorts! You seem to do it a lot!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Southern Sally ()
Date: May 18, 2019 04:48AM

Hi original Sally!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: popoffxu ()
Date: May 18, 2019 06:48AM

Has the crime rate increased at the mall since the metro line was completed? Ppl don't understand the FFX police can get people for interstate larceny and increase your jail sentence by YEARS

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Southern Sally has Herpes ()
Date: May 18, 2019 07:17AM

Silver line to mall is bringing more and more crime. Just wait and see this holiday season. Did you know in PEE GEE, they need federal $$$$$, for more police patrols, during the two weeks BEFORE CHRISTMAS? Tyson’s corner is next. I predict some random child will get shot by a stray bullet, between nigger rival gangs. Yes, niggers bring this type of crime here.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Dranesville Bob ()
Date: May 18, 2019 12:12PM

You’re right, Tysons does tend to be busier than other malls around the area. I think a lot of international visitors go there to see what an American mall is like. I have noticed that Asians tend to visit Asian restaurants when they travel, and not try the local cuisine. I was in Coastal Flats last year and there was a table of four Asian tourists and each had a different meal, and they were laughing and taking pictures of what they ordered! That is until two of them got up suddenly, and the worst smell ever started drifting over to our table. They left crying, embarrassed that they had shit themselves in public. In Asian cultures it brings great shame.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Lamdoo ()
Date: May 18, 2019 12:38PM

What is that thing about the Lt Governor? You can’t just libel someone.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Grant B. ()
Date: May 18, 2019 03:23PM

Springfield Mall had a Popeye’s back in the day which was a plus to go shopping there. I remember after one memorable shop at Penny’s I stopped by for lunch. Normally I’d get the red beans and rice, but that day I decided on Cajun fries. Bad decision! I’ll spare you the details, but basically I couldn’t stop pooping in the food court. It wasn’t very runny, and looked like someone had dragged a dog along while it was pooping, nuggets everywhere. I think that the cleaning staff was embarrassed for me, because instead of confronting me they called the police.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: GVH III ()
Date: May 18, 2019 08:32PM

Does anyone remember when they tore down those iconic large numbers at Springfield Mall? I sadly watched it on a Tuesday as I was off that day and driving by. To cheer me up that night the wife fired up some homemade fried chicken, but it was terribly undercooked and caused uncontrollable shitting for hours after.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: V ()
Date: May 18, 2019 08:37PM

Y'all niggas posting in a troll thread.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: AnthonyCumia ()
Date: May 19, 2019 01:25AM

Waples Mill resident Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fair Oaks was always a decent mall.
>
> I went once to the tobacco store and was surprised
> to find you could smoke a cigar in there. I lit up
> a cheap-ish Cohiba and after a couple of draws
> realized that a massive wave of diarrhea was
> seconds away. I ran out to the fountain and
> expelled the evils within me; unfortunately an
> Irish family was in there collecting the coins,
> but didn’t seem to care about the sewage I’d
> created.

You fucking retard they haven't had fountains since fucking 2008.

Fucking troll.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/19/2019 01:25AM by AnthonyCumia.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Waples Mill resident ()
Date: May 19, 2019 02:15PM

This was before 2008.

> You fucking retard they haven't had fountains
> since fucking 2008.
>
> Fucking troll.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Pentagon retiree ()
Date: May 19, 2019 02:24PM

Pentagon City Mall is one of the places that seemed unaffected by the closing of malls. Unique stores like the Museum Company kept people coming in. The movie theatre is gone, but I remember seeing a bunch of new releases there. I saw Saving Private Ryan, and sat in the back row, just after eating at Panda Express. When my anus failed me, and the floodgates opened, it all ran downhill to the screen. Luckily a lot of people in the theater thought it was a 4D experience and actually splashed around in what they thought was fake diarrhea:

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Jersey native ()
Date: May 20, 2019 11:18AM

I would have to agree, places like the Mosaic District are taking the place of traditional malls. It has more of an open concept to it, with stores and restaurants. There is a particular place there that does fantastic oysters, which I absolutely love - great selection too. The problem is, they give me horrific, sloppy diarrhea. I decided to brave it last weekend, and had a dozen and did just fine. Until I got to the parking lot. I knew I was seconds away from a fecal tsunami, so I squatted next to a car where no one could see me and unloaded.

Unfortunately, the foul spray managed to coat the driver’s side door including the handle and mirror. I left a note saying I would pay for a car wash, but didn’t leave contact info. The best oyster I had was a Rappahannock.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Lake Barcroft hero ()
Date: May 20, 2019 05:51PM

Strip malls (especially those with a grocery store) still appeal to many. Barcroft Plaza is especially good, as it has several of the old-type trash cans without lids. They came in handy for me once in 1997 when leaving the chicken place there, I couldn’t even make it to the asphalt of the parking lot before hot jets of brown magma started ruining my jeans. Those trash cans were helpful depositories.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: To above two posters ()
Date: May 20, 2019 06:17PM

I see kindergarten was closed today.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Herndon Hal ()
Date: May 22, 2019 08:07AM

I was the witness to a burglary in a case that came before the judge in Fairfax, and actually had to take the stand. I was so nervous! Unfortunately, I had just eaten at Red Hot and Blue, and got no warning when the diarrhea came. I had even worn a suit, which was a lot more absorbent than the jeans I usually wear. Suffice to say, the defendant was declared guilty, but the witness stand was declared off-limits until a professional cleaning company took care of it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: So embarrassing! ()
Date: May 23, 2019 06:43AM

Nearby Tyson’s is an Olive Garden, and last night I took the family there. It was a great time, I had the soup and bottomless salad. Tyson’s traffic was awful on the way home! My car had moved about 30ft in five minutes when the rush of putrid liquid evacuated my bowels. There was no warning of it, and the best we could do was roll down the windows. I was on the verge of tears, but my kids were taking pictures and video, and laughing at me.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Date: May 24, 2019 07:59PM

There are two days I will always remember: walking my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day, and the time I had poo-poo juice in my pants following an IHOP breakfast. Luckily for me, they were on the same day.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Jeb Stuart ‘85 ()
Date: May 29, 2019 06:05PM

Those malls are crap! Back in the day, we would spend our lunch breaks at the Seven Corners ‘mall’. I remember asking my crush to the homecoming dance there, in front of everyone. As I got the courage up to ask, I sneezed and a torrent of greasy shit was released from my balloon knot. I blamed the smell on someone else as the diarrhea filled my pants and shoes, but everyone knew it was me. She said no.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: James S. ()
Date: June 05, 2019 12:24PM

Some might say that airports are the new malls. Last week I flew out of Reagan National, and it was quite an experience. I went to the new Ben’s Chili Bowl for lunch, and while the plane was taxiing, I had a strong urge to poop. The steward chastised me and told me to keep my seatbelt on when I tried to get up. We were only at about 3000 feet when the rectal anthem started, filling my seat with close to a gallon of liquid excrement. I was too scared to get up and had to sit in it all the way to Indianapolis. The person sitting next to me offered a tissue, but that was by no means adequate.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Next door neighbor ()
Date: June 06, 2019 04:43AM

These posts are an accurate portrayal of my Chron’s Disease. Thank you to the above posters for bringing the reality to the public. I have pooped my pants three times while writing this message. Make that four. Five.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Tourist blog ()
Date: June 11, 2019 06:29PM

I visited Southeast Asia for the first time recently. Their malls are huge, and are almost chilly with air conditioning, while having no front doors, just a large entranceway!

Discount prices and great food - I took advantage of both. The food was a bad idea, as I discovered on a very long and crowded escalator. The mudslide that flowed out of my shorts with almost no warning continued down the up-escalator in a seemingly unending torrent. Luckily I bought some discount jeans two minutes later. I also defiled those.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: AnthonyCumia ()
Date: June 12, 2019 03:18PM

Tourist blog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I visited Southeast Asia for the first time
> recently. Their malls are huge, and are almost
> chilly with air conditioning, while having no
> front doors, just a large entranceway!
>
> Discount prices and great food - I took advantage
> of both. The food was a bad idea, as I discovered
> on a very long and crowded escalator. The mudslide
> that flowed out of my shorts with almost no
> warning continued down the up-escalator in a
> seemingly unending torrent. Luckily I bought some
> discount jeans two minutes later. I also defiled
> those.

This is the FFU version of the Reddit jumper cables or hell in a cell story.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Fantom.Shitter ()
Date: June 13, 2019 07:30AM

I use the multi-gender bathrooms at Tyson's my advantage.

Don't you?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Helpful citizen ()
Date: June 14, 2019 09:02AM

When I went to Tyson’s I used the baby-changing bathroom, as most other places have a toilet in them and they’re always under-used and clean. Not at Tyson’s, when I got in I saw there was no toilet! So instead I took a massive steamy dump on the changing table. As I left, I saw a mother rushing into the room with a child who’d just had an accident - Boy was her day about to get a lot worse!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Mosaic District resident ()
Date: June 20, 2019 12:03PM

Recently I was in Macy’s at Tyson’s, and felt the warning signs of a poo waterfall. I went to their bathroom, but it was out of order. Instead of looking elsewhere in the mall, I took a pair of sweatpants off the rack and went to the changing room. I put them on and let loose - I’ll spare you the details. No I won’t: the sweatpants absorbed a majority of the diarrhea, and I used the bottom of the pants to wipe my legs and ass. Instead of just leaving the sweatpants there, I hung them back on the rack and left.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Tysons Resident ()
Date: June 21, 2019 05:50PM

Recently I was in Target in the Town of Mosaic, and felt the warning signs of a rectal geyser. I went to their bathroom, but it was out of order. Instead of looking elsewhere in the Town, I took a pair of Target leggings off the rack and went to the changing room. I put them on and blasted - I’ll spare you the details. No I won’t: the leggings absorbed a majority of the diarrhea, and I used the bottom of the leggins to wipe my legs and ass. Instead of just leaving the leggings there, I took them to customer service rack and left.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Stating the obvious ()
Date: June 21, 2019 06:36PM

I hate it when second grade lets out.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Tyson’s Corner compared to other malls
Posted by: Colonic Pow!!! ()
Date: June 21, 2019 09:07PM

... when second grade lets the poo - stream come out?

I mean, yeah, me too!

WTF is in those school lunches, anyway?

Options: ReplyQuote


Your Name: 
Your Email (Optional): 
Subject: 
Attach a file
  • No file can be larger than 75 MB
  • All files together cannot be larger than 300 MB
  • 30 more file(s) can be attached to this message
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********   **               **  **    **   *******  
 **     **  **    **         **   **  **   **     ** 
 **     **  **    **         **    ****    **        
 **     **  **    **         **     **     ********  
 **     **  *********  **    **     **     **     ** 
 **     **        **   **    **     **     **     ** 
 ********         **    ******      **      *******  
This forum powered by Phorum.