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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: local news. ()
Date: March 13, 2019 05:56PM

I heard a call going out on the scanner this morning. A citizen at Panam was having breakfast in her vehicle at 9:43 am when she reported that a squirrel entered that vehicle through a open window and removed a hashbrown from a bag on the passenger seat then quickly departed the crime scene.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Weatherman Stan ()
Date: March 13, 2019 09:14PM

Gonna be 70 tomorrow. Folks better watch out leaving their windows down.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Curious and Fearful ()
Date: March 20, 2019 10:07PM

Just checking to see if there have been any more sightings of this menace. Need to go micro center for some computer equipment but don’t want to get bitten

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: SumMo ()
Date: March 21, 2019 05:59AM

You should be safe as long as you don't take your nuggets out. If he sees them, you could have a problem.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: March 21, 2019 06:39AM

I saw Furman yesterday afternoon. There was a couple car loads of what looked like high school kids. They were tossing fries to furman right and left. Each time he got a fry he would quickly run and stash it somewhere then quickly return to harvest another. The teenagers were enjoying the show that Furman was putting on for them. Perhaps Furman has reached a new level and has learned to interact with humans in a peaceful manor. Or perhaps Furman has just learned how to manipulate people for his own selfish needs.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: gonna be flat squirrel ()
Date: March 21, 2019 10:04PM

fuck furman, last time I was at the dive shop that little bastard pulled a gun on me and demanded a tank of trimix

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: March 23, 2019 10:57AM

To micro center employee, We have seen the Furman and he is us.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Night Rodent Watchman ()
Date: March 23, 2019 11:17AM

gonna be flat squirrel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> fuck furman, last time I was at the dive shop that
> little bastard pulled a gun on me and demanded a
> tank of trimix


Which gun was it? He has an Arsenal hidden somewhere behind micro center, but I haven’t found it yet. He’s got a very good hiding place.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Alvin Chipmunk ()
Date: March 23, 2019 05:27PM

Furman is still abusing the elderly. I just saw him grab a handful of McNuggets from an old lady. He ran towards micro center.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Albert Acorn ()
Date: March 24, 2019 08:32AM

Just ate at Mickey dees, Pan am, no sign of the little shit.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Safeway Shopper ()
Date: March 24, 2019 11:18AM

Furman will be lying low today so the coast is probably clear. We caught him out back last night gorging himself on the sushi and fried chicken we had to throw out because it expired with a few bushy tailed friends.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: local1. ()
Date: March 24, 2019 11:23AM

Seems like Squirrels rarely dumpster dive. Of course Furman is no ordinary squirrel.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: SumMo ()
Date: March 24, 2019 01:21PM

Albert Acorn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just ate at Mickey dees, Pan am, no sign of the
> little shit.

That's the whole point of Furman; you don't see him until he strikes. He's inhumanly fast.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Look Fast ()
Date: March 25, 2019 09:44PM

Gonna be 70 on Friday. Lots of windows will be down. Furman is getting ready for some fast grabbing window food raids.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: He so hungry ()
Date: March 27, 2019 06:04PM

Just saw him by micro center, looking hungry

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: March 28, 2019 04:50PM

I heard Furman had a incident with a VDOT truck today, he jumped on the side view mirror and a guy removed his hard hat and smacked Furman with it hard causing him to fall on his back. They said he ran off but looked like he was limping.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Animal News Alert ()
Date: March 29, 2019 06:14AM

microcenter employee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I heard Furman had a incident with a VDOT truck
> today, he jumped on the side view mirror and a guy
> removed his hard hat and smacked Furman with it
> hard causing him to fall on his back. They said he
> ran off but looked like he was limping.


Furman went to an emergency vet clinic and got checked out. They said it’s just a sprained leg, and it should heal
In a few days. He is however, looking for a good attorney, to possibly sue VDOT.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: greenprince ()
Date: March 29, 2019 06:52AM

Animal News Alert Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> microcenter employee Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I heard Furman had a incident with a VDOT truck
> > today, he jumped on the side view mirror and a
> guy
> > removed his hard hat and smacked Furman with it
> > hard causing him to fall on his back. They said
> he
> > ran off but looked like he was limping.
>
>
> Furman went to an emergency vet clinic and got
> checked out. They said it’s just a sprained leg,
> and it should heal
> In a few days. He is however, looking for a good
> attorney, to possibly sue VDOT.

VDOT is a scam. privatized roads are smoother, safer and cost less overall to build thanks to the relative absence of bureaucracy to earmark and plunder every red cent from a project.. one public bathroom in NYC cost four million smackaroos. the VDOT flaggers with their folgers buzz and blank stares are an insult to the american taxpayer I tell ya hwhat!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: npvju ()
Date: March 29, 2019 11:12PM

That McDonalds at PanAm is probably the most successful franchine in norther VA now due to the Furman admirers and tourists swarming in for a looksee and hopeful for a one-of-a-kind encounter with Furman. I can't wait until Furman gets married and teaches all the little ones the tricks of the "trade." Soon they will fan out to other McDonalds to expand their "business" territories.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: March 30, 2019 10:52AM

Furman probably owns stock in McDonald's. Stealing people's food makes them buy more to replace it, and that increases his ROI

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fairfax area man ()
Date: March 30, 2019 10:57AM

Fear the Squirrel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman probably owns stock in McDonald's. Stealing
> people's food makes them buy more to replace it,
> and that increases his ROI


Years ago there was a aggressive food stealing squirrel at the Wendy's across from WT Woodson. I wonder if that could have been Furman's Dad or Grandfather?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: March 30, 2019 11:14AM

I wouldn't doubt it. Furman comes from a crime family as large and powerful as the Corleone's in the Godfather, trafficking in acorns and stolen fast food.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Captain McCluskey ()
Date: March 30, 2019 12:13PM

Fear the Squirrel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wouldn't doubt it. Furman comes from a crime
> family as large and powerful as the Corleone's in
> the Godfather, trafficking in acorns and stolen
> fast food.


They also deal in prostitution, pimping out girl squirrels.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Clemenza ()
Date: March 30, 2019 02:25PM

If he fucks with us, we'll have to go to the mattresses

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Don Corleone ()
Date: March 30, 2019 05:14PM

If Furman fucks with us, I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: emergency vet ()
Date: March 31, 2019 10:58AM

Furman took a nasty fall the other day when he got into it with the vdot guy. He will be okay after some therapeutic massage.
Attachments:
giphy (3).gif

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Furman Lives ()
Date: March 31, 2019 12:53PM

Furman looks like he is really enjoying his massage. Do you think he will receive a happy ending?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: n6wem ()
Date: March 31, 2019 03:26PM

Furman Lives Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman looks like he is really enjoying his
> massage. Do you think he will receive a happy
> ending?


how do you know furman isn't really furwoman??

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Micro center worker ()
Date: March 31, 2019 03:51PM

n6wem Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman Lives Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Furman looks like he is really enjoying his
> > massage. Do you think he will receive a happy
> > ending?
>
>
> how do you know furman isn't really furwoman??


I’ve seen his teenie weenie.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: nhxve ()
Date: March 31, 2019 04:20PM

Micro center worker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> n6wem Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Furman Lives Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Furman looks like he is really enjoying his
> > > massage. Do you think he will receive a happy
> > > ending?
> >
> >
> > how do you know furman isn't really furwoman??
>
>
> I’ve seen his teenie weenie.

TMI Ravi, TMI

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Gregory Gizzards ()
Date: March 31, 2019 06:10PM

Ravi doesn’t like Squirrels, too small. Prefers goats and sheep.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: pointing out the obvious ()
Date: March 31, 2019 08:08PM

Gregory Gizzards Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ravi doesn’t like Squirrels, too small. Prefers
> goats and sheep.


He may like goats and sheep for giving, but we all know it's horses for recieving

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: vincentvangofuckyourself ()
Date: April 01, 2019 09:22PM

emergency vet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furman took a nasty fall the other day when he got
> into it with the vdot guy. He will be okay after
> some therapeutic massage.

go fuck yourself papist scum

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: April 03, 2019 07:35AM

According to the ladies at McDonalds Furman went into a Corolla yesterday through an open sunroof and scared the living shit out of two fat women that were eating inside the car causing one woman to spill her chocolate shake all over herself. Furman made off with a single chicken nugget.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Important question ()
Date: April 03, 2019 08:06AM

I wonder if Furman finds it easier to get in a car through the sunroof or a window.
Discuss

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Al the answer man ()
Date: April 03, 2019 09:16PM

Important question Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder if Furman finds it easier to get in a car
> through the sunroof or a window.
> Discuss


Probably a sunroof

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: theoneandonly ()
Date: April 04, 2019 02:09AM

Ivan the Snitch Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Be very careful comrades, Furman has high powered
> weapons he bought from Russian agents hidden in
> secret locations.

you fools. he's obviously a neutral Canadian peacekeeper from CSIS sent down from above to keep orange man from nuking putin's brains out (and vice versa).. he's been itchng to go back home ever since legalization but you dunderheads keep at it so hes stuck taping gps trackers under cars and adding tranquilizer to french fries indefinitely. being Canadian is like being surrounded by disabled hyenas when you just wanna maybe get some time hortons and go ice fishin eh

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: timhortons ()
Date: April 04, 2019 03:13AM

furman probably appreciate all of the frips and nuggets you folks keep tossing him, but you hoseheads dont know a darn thing about tim hortons. timmy's has the best poutine on the planet (limited time only https://jumpradio.ca/news/4276306/you-can-now-order-a-poutine-at-tim-hortons-locations-across-canada/ )

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: dudleydoright ()
Date: April 04, 2019 04:10AM

Fearless Leader Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> American squirrel can beat up Russian moose AND
> Russian squirrel!

Boris and Natasha are no match for the squirrels of CSIS! why do you think the Canadian border is wide open while the orange man screams about walls further south? Furman cut his teeth tranquilizing, chipping and releasing Ruskies trying to sneak thru Saskatchewan! when they unwittingly matriculate south they are fed heaping doses of counterintelligence, converted to capitalism and then they get plopped out to pasture right back in Canada with a lifetime supply of tim hortons! if it werent for these brave little Canadian squirrels Americans wouldve been wearing red and eating blini decades ago. someone go buy furman some pouine eh?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: SumMo ()
Date: April 04, 2019 04:32AM

God! I don't know which is worse; being overrun by the Russians or saved by the Canadians.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: furmanshomie ()
Date: April 04, 2019 04:36AM

Night Rodent Watchman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Which gun was it? He has an Arsenal hidden
> somewhere behind micro center, but I haven’t
> found it yet. He’s got a very good hiding place.

furman's caches are scattered between multiple civil war graves across NOVA including the one at panam... he lets me borrow sometimes as long as I reload the mag and put it back. suprised you didnt find it lol! canadians actually invented caches for beaver pelts

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: dudleydoright ()
Date: April 04, 2019 04:54AM

SumMo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> God! I don't know which is worse; being overrun by
> the Russians or saved by the Canadians.

you've been saved by Canadians your entire life and didnt even know it! people think alaska seperates north america from siberia but they forget where the true buffer really is. of course Canadians are good neighbors eh so we just do it anyhow. now about that poutine?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: animalcontol ()
Date: April 04, 2019 05:15AM

1038Documents Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The squirrel recruited some of his buddies and
> there now exists a bunch of these little fkrs
> running around and hissing at passerby's. I could
> swear one of them gave me the clawed finger but
> cannot be certain. I'm going there tomorrow to
> record video. Will try to get animal control
> involved. Imagine if these little fkrs start
> trying to bite us if we don't have nuts for them!

animal control has the panam crew under 24/7 surveillance they are oblivious just like the squirrels by van dyke. only a matter of time before they drop the net im afraid. the squirrel gangs are getting reckless

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: squirrelsarenice ()
Date: April 04, 2019 05:40AM

Squirrelhater Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Liberal fucker Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Don't believe the liberal propaganda on
> squirrels.
> > The little fuckers will eat all sorts of
> animals,
> > and will actually attack snakes and eat them
> too.
> > They are not the vegetarian little angels that
> the
> > liberal fucktards--who have never been in the
> > woods-- portray them to be. I shoot the fuckers
> in
> > the head every chance I get...
>
> You my friend are 100 percent correct and the
> ignorant person who posted they are primarily
> vegetarian are moronic- they will eat anything
> they ate my mourning doves eggs out of her nest!
> They eat baby birds pretty much anything the
> fuckers can kill. The birds outside my patio are
> afraid of them and give them a wide berth - love
> the pic of the dead squirrels nasty little
> fuckers.

im all for a good pot of squirrel stew mysef but lets not slander the little fellows. they are known to kill snakes when they or their young are in danger but they are not serial killers. that is just a rumor they spread themselves to keep the snakes in check. use that henry .22 on the quokkas

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Great white north resident ()
Date: April 04, 2019 05:53AM

I am originally from Canada, ( Hamilton Ontario), and last time I went home I saw a squirrel stealing an old ladies Donut at Tim Horton’s . Could it be Furmans northern cousin?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: murica ()
Date: April 04, 2019 06:10AM

Great white north resident Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am originally from Canada, ( Hamilton Ontario),
> and last time I went home I saw a squirrel
> stealing an old ladies Donut at Tim Horton’s .
> Could it be Furmans northern cousin?

take off ya hoser its a beauty way to go! your stupid monopoly money aint worth the plastic its printed on. grantd it doesnt get ruined in the pool if you jump in with your wallet. your story about the squirrel stealing from the old lady is obviously false as Canadians are generous souls. old ladies give the squirrels donuts for free up there, its mandated by law!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: kitchner ()
Date: April 04, 2019 06:14AM

Great white north resident Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am originally from Canada, ( Hamilton Ontario),
> and last time I went home I saw a squirrel
> stealing an old ladies Donut at Tim Horton’s .
> Could it be Furmans northern cousin?

furman has cousins in kitchner! you should bring them some poutine next time! the oktoberfest in kitchner is the best this side of the atlantic!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Guelph Guy ()
Date: April 04, 2019 07:28AM

kitchner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Great white north resident Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I am originally from Canada, ( Hamilton
> Ontario),
> > and last time I went home I saw a squirrel
> > stealing an old ladies Donut at Tim Horton’s
> .
> > Could it be Furmans northern cousin?
>
> furman has cousins in kitchner! you should bring
> them some poutine next time! the oktoberfest in
> kitchner is the best this side of the atlantic!

Love the Kitchener Oktoberfest, maybe I’ll
See ya there, eh?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Chevy driver ()
Date: April 04, 2019 09:11PM

A Google search brought me here after I had a encounter with the tree rat. This thing is a pest that needs to be contained. Total health hazard!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Sunny day rewards ()
Date: April 04, 2019 09:56PM

I have it from a reliable source that Furman had a successful day today. His take today=
22 McNuggets
4 Big Macs
3 Quarter Pounders
2 Fish Filets

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fuhremann ()
Date: April 06, 2019 03:19PM

Furman is raising an army for a blitzkreig style invasion of the L amb Center. All the hobos will be pressed into service or shot for cowardice

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: local man76 ()
Date: April 06, 2019 03:53PM

I am going to bring some soft tacos from taco bell to Furman, he would probably enjoy a little variety in his diet.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: fuhrermann ()
Date: April 06, 2019 04:30PM

local man76 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am going to bring some soft tacos from taco bell
> to Furman, he would probably enjoy a little
> variety in his diet.


more like some Argentinian beef tacos, fuhrer-style. with a bloody rare pork chop on the side!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Pan Am Pete ()
Date: April 06, 2019 05:28PM

He does like variety in his diet, there have been a few reports of him making daring raids on Glory Days, and grabbing some wings.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microbrewer ()
Date: April 06, 2019 09:18PM

We are brewing a new pale ale this spring. we are thinking of naming it after Furman. Can anyone think of a cool name? Bushy tail Ale was our first thought but now we are not so sure.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Possibly name ()
Date: April 06, 2019 09:38PM

McNugget thief ale

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: furmanUNIVERSITY ()
Date: April 07, 2019 06:16AM

so i found proof of furman's existence... he's a mascot! https://yoütu.be/image.php?id=Q4GYEU

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: furmanLIVES ()
Date: April 07, 2019 06:17AM

crap, heres the footage! https://yoütu.be/image.php?id=Q4GYEU

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: crap ()
Date: April 07, 2019 06:18AM

grabfy does not like me rn :/

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: herewego! ()
Date: April 07, 2019 06:19AM


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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Dashound man ()
Date: April 07, 2019 10:03AM

I could put a stop to Furmans actions in a red hot hurry. I could bring my dachshund to Panam, roll down my windows and put a Mcnugget happy meal up on the dash. My miniature dachshund would crack Furmans skull and eat him.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: New menu item ()
Date: April 07, 2019 10:41AM

Dashound man Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I could put a stop to Furmans actions in a red hot
> hurry. I could bring my dachshund to Panam, roll
> down my windows and put a Mcnugget happy meal up
> on the dash. My miniature dachshund would crack
> Furmans skull and eat him.


Would that be called a McFurman?

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: badgerdog ()
Date: April 07, 2019 01:12PM

Dashound man Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I could put a stop to Furmans actions in a red hot
> hurry. I could bring my dachshund to Panam, roll
> down my windows and put a Mcnugget happy meal up
> on the dash. My miniature dachshund would crack
> Furmans skull and eat him.

youre assuming furman is an idiot... he didnt achieve such high FXU fame by jumping into random cars with dogs like some cheap hooker! he starts watching you long before you even see him, chooses his marks carefully like a romani pro.
PS: dachshunds are for pedophiles and twink-boys who wear heels/makeup and that's barely stereotyping

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: GUN BUM ()
Date: April 07, 2019 11:36PM

I shoot squirrels with a camera to capture their laughable hi-jinks.

I prefer Crisp Deep Fried Snakehead Fish if Im eating any thing gamey and lament the fact that Arthur Treacher's closed too soon to put the crisp creatures of the deep sea on the menu

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: GUN BUM ()
Date: April 07, 2019 11:41PM

OK so its shallow garbage laden brown water swamp instead of the deep blue sea "fried crisp" who would know the difference ?

Hillary said "What difference does it make? When she tried Snakehead !

As long as their fried crisp baby with some Ice Cold Hobo beer and hot sauce none. Don't talk to me about your politics thou!

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Woodchuck Willie ()
Date: April 08, 2019 12:15AM

Hey Gun Bum, I don’t know what you are rambling about, but the topic of this thread is Furman the indestructible squirrel. Please keep on topic.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Eyewitness to theft ()
Date: April 08, 2019 09:14AM

Just now, wow. Saw Furman grab a hash brown and about half a sausage McMuffin from a lady getting into a Ford Fusion.

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Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fuck the American squirrels ()
Date: April 08, 2019 01:09PM

You fuckers think this is all funny?

The North American grey squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) is has been called the worst invasive species on this planet. It has wiped out local species in the UK and Italy.

When introduced into other ecosystems, the larger and more aggressive North American squirrels tend to out-compete native squirrels for food and intimidate them enough that they stop breeding. Even worse, the invaders also carry (and are immune to) a virus called squirrel parapoxvirus, which can be deadly to other squirrel species. The pox causes lesions and bleeding from the eyes and mouth; infected squirrels die in as few as four days.

Grey squirrels have already put quite the hurt on European red squirrels (S. vulgaris) in England and Ireland, where five million grays now dominate the landscape. (They were first imported to the British Isles in the late 19th century as a garden novelty.) Only 120,000 to 140,000 reds remain in the U.K., three quarters of which are in Scotland, where pox did not show up until 2005. Some scientists estimate that red squirrels could be extinct in the U.K. in as few as 20 years.

According to scientists from the universities of Turin, Genoa and Insubria, the goddamned fucking North Amerrican grey squirrel is now poised to spread farther through Italy and possibly all the way to France.

The Italian invasion dates to 1948, when a U.S. ambassador presented four of the cuddly critters as a gift. They escaped and have been expanding their territory exponentially ever since.

Aside from bullying the natives, fucking the local females and breeding like mad, invading American squirrels pose a broader threat beyond the extinction of native reds. Grey squirrels are generalist eaters and consume nine times more food than the much smaller reds, which rely on a more specialized diet. Natasha Collings, project coordinator for the Cornwall Red Squirrel Project, told the Guardian that grey squirrels are doing millions of dollars of damage to commercial forests annually. They also hurt other woodland areas, and even eat frogs and bird eggs. This doesn't happen in North America, where the squirrels have coevolved with a broader selection of edible nuts and other vegetation, although greys here will eat through just about anything, including wood walls and electrical wires.

I say, let's just shoot all the fuckers on sight.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Rats ass ()
Date: April 08, 2019 01:29PM

Fuck the American squirrels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You fuckers think this is all funny?
>
> The North American grey squirrel (Sciurus
> carolinensis) is has been called the worst
> invasive species on this planet. It has wiped out
> local species in the UK and Italy.
>
> When introduced into other ecosystems, the larger
> and more aggressive North American squirrels tend
> to out-compete native squirrels for food and
> intimidate them enough that they stop breeding.
> Even worse, the invaders also carry (and are
> immune to) a virus called squirrel parapoxvirus,
> which can be deadly to other squirrel species. The
> pox causes lesions and bleeding from the eyes and
> mouth; infected squirrels die in as few as four
> days.
>
> Grey squirrels have already put quite the hurt on
> European red squirrels (S. vulgaris) in England
> and Ireland, where five million grays now dominate
> the landscape. (They were first imported to the
> British Isles in the late 19th century as a garden
> novelty.) Only 120,000 to 140,000 reds remain in
> the U.K., three quarters of which are in Scotland,
> where pox did not show up until 2005. Some
> scientists estimate that red squirrels could be
> extinct in the U.K. in as few as 20 years.
>
> According to scientists from the universities of
> Turin, Genoa and Insubria, the goddamned fucking
> North Amerrican grey squirrel is now poised to
> spread farther through Italy and possibly all the
> way to France.
>
> The Italian invasion dates to 1948, when a U.S.
> ambassador presented four of the cuddly critters
> as a gift. They escaped and have been expanding
> their territory exponentially ever since.
>
> Aside from bullying the natives, fucking the local
> females and breeding like mad, invading American
> squirrels pose a broader threat beyond the
> extinction of native reds. Grey squirrels are
> generalist eaters and consume nine times more food
> than the much smaller reds, which rely on a more
> specialized diet. Natasha Collings, project
> coordinator for the Cornwall Red Squirrel Project,
> told the Guardian that grey squirrels are doing
> millions of dollars of damage to commercial
> forests annually. They also hurt other woodland
> areas, and even eat frogs and bird eggs. This
> doesn't happen in North America, where the
> squirrels have coevolved with a broader selection
> of edible nuts and other vegetation, although
> greys here will eat through just about anything,
> including wood walls and electrical wires.
>
> I say, let's just shoot all the fuckers on sight.

Hey Professor, we aren’t trying to take a college level coarse on Squirrel history. We are just dumbfucks on a stupid site, ffu, bullshittin about a squirrel who likes McNuggets. Lighten up. By the way, good luck trying to kill
Furman. He is indestructible. Watch out, he has an arsenal hidden behind micro center.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: not so fast ()
Date: April 08, 2019 02:35PM

Dashound man Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I could put a stop to Furmans actions in a red hot
> hurry. I could bring my dachshund to Panam, roll
> down my windows and put a Mcnugget happy meal up
> on the dash. My miniature dachshund would crack
> Furmans skull and eat him.


Sure, your weiner dog can kill the average squirrel but Furman is no average squirrel.
Attachments:
down5678999load (1).jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Greybeard ()
Date: April 08, 2019 11:15PM

kitchner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> furman has cousins in kitchner! you should bring
> them some poutine next time! the oktoberfest in
> kitchner is the best this side of the atlantic!

Sorry, squirrels in Kitchener-Waterloo are almost 100% black, not grey. ISTR Furman being described as grey.

Could be one of those illegal immigrants from the U.S., of course!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Mikey Maple Leaf ()
Date: April 09, 2019 05:55AM

Greybeard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> kitchner Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > furman has cousins in kitchner! you should
> bring
> > them some poutine next time! the oktoberfest in
> > kitchner is the best this side of the atlantic!
>
> Sorry, squirrels in Kitchener-Waterloo are almost
> 100% black, not grey. ISTR Furman being described
> as grey.
>
> Could be one of those illegal immigrants from the
> U.S., of course!

Our squirrels in Canada might be black, but at least most of the people are white,unlike the US , full of nogs committing crimes.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: A real Canuck ()
Date: April 09, 2019 09:52PM

Mikey Maple Leaf Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Our squirrels in Canada might be black, but at
> least most of the people are white,unlike the US ,
> full of nogs committing crimes.

You've never actually been to Canada, have you?

And don't bother coming--we don't want your cracker-ass bullshit.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Mikey Maple Leaf ()
Date: April 09, 2019 10:12PM

A real Canuck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mikey Maple Leaf Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Our squirrels in Canada might be black, but at
> > least most of the people are white,unlike the US
> ,
> > full of nogs committing crimes.
>
> You've never actually been to Canada, have you?
>
> And don't bother coming--we don't want your
> cracker-ass bullshit.

Hey real Canuck, you are the fake Canuck who has never been to Canada, or you would no there aren’t many nogs. Toronto, the most diverse city in Canada is only 8 percent nog, the entire country is 2.5 percent nog. Look it up.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: April 13, 2019 09:21PM

No sign of Furman since Wednesday night, I checked with the McDees ladies. Furman may have moved on.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: p9cdx ()
Date: April 13, 2019 10:49PM

If you want to catch Furman, get him hooked on some Samuel Adams American strong ale with his chicken nuggets and fries. (28% alcohol ought to slow him down to where he will be catchable). Then, move him to McLean VA in the area with all the multi-million dollar mansions next to the Potomac. He will then be able to steal filet mignions from the butlers serving the backyard barbeque parties every weekend with the loads of celebs from DC we have all grown to despize.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: April 13, 2019 11:38PM

microcenter employee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No sign of Furman since Wednesday night, I checked
> with the McDees ladies. Furman may have moved on.


I don't believe it. He probably is just on spring break, relaxing and sunning himself at the beach. He'll be back soon, hungrier than ever

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: A real Canuck ()
Date: April 14, 2019 09:37PM

Mikey Maple Leaf Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey real Canuck, you are the fake Canuck who has
> never been to Canada, or you would no there
> aren’t many nogs. Toronto, the most diverse city
> in Canada is only 8 percent nog, the entire
> country is 2.5 percent nog. Look it up.

Yo, dipshit -- 8%, 12.5% -- either way, it's a statistically significant percentage, and your original statement about "east most of the people are white,unlike the US" proves that your math skills are as extensive as your knowledge of Canada.

And my statement stands: we don't want your cracker-ass bullshit.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Mikey Maple Leaf ()
Date: April 14, 2019 10:40PM

A real Canuck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mikey Maple Leaf Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hey real Canuck, you are the fake Canuck who
> has
> > never been to Canada, or you would no there
> > aren’t many nogs. Toronto, the most diverse
> city
> > in Canada is only 8 percent nog, the entire
> > country is 2.5 percent nog. Look it up.
>
> Yo, dipshit -- 8%, 12.5% -- either way, it's a
> statistically significant percentage, and your
> original statement about "east most of the people
> are white,unlike the US" proves that your math
> skills are as extensive as your knowledge of
> Canada.
>
> And my statement stands: we don't want your
> cracker-ass bullshit.

Stop saying “we” as if you are Canadian. You are not, only a USA resident would use a phrase like “cracker-ass bullshit”. Us Canadians aren’t that uncouth.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: April 16, 2019 08:26AM

Well, whoever said Furman would be back was right. Nobody had seen him in like 5 or 6 days but this morning he was not only back at his usual antics but he took a shot at a Virginia state trooper sitting in his SUV! Although Furman did not get any food he scared the trooper who screamed "Holy Fuck!".

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: April 17, 2019 06:55PM

Furman fears no man. Even if they are wearing a police officer uniform. Their Mcnuggets taste as good as any civilians. Can anything be done to stop this menace?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: McDouble fan ()
Date: April 18, 2019 04:45PM

Two McDoubles and medium fry is my go to meal at mcdees. Today I went to Panam to get just that, on my way back to my car I did see a medium large grey squirrel sitting atop a toolbox in the back of a pickup truck. His eyes seemed to follow me as I walked to my car. I jumped in and rolled the windows up and turned on the A/C. I was not attacked but I think I saw Furman.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fear the Squirrel ()
Date: April 21, 2019 12:59PM

McDouble fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Two McDoubles and medium fry is my go to meal at
> mcdees. Today I went to Panam to get just that, on
> my way back to my car I did see a medium large
> grey squirrel sitting atop a toolbox in the back
> of a pickup truck. His eyes seemed to follow me as
> I walked to my car. I jumped in and rolled the
> windows up and turned on the A/C. I was not
> attacked but I think I saw Furman.

You should be thanking your lucky stars you are alive to tell the tale. Others have not been so lucky

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Acorn Albert ()
Date: April 21, 2019 02:14PM

McDouble fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Two McDoubles and medium fry is my go to meal at
> mcdees. Today I went to Panam to get just that, on
> my way back to my car I did see a medium large
> grey squirrel sitting atop a toolbox in the back
> of a pickup truck. His eyes seemed to follow me as
> I walked to my car. I jumped in and rolled the
> windows up and turned on the A/C. I was not
> attacked but I think I saw Furman.


On a normal day he would have attacked you, but on Easter he probably wanted something better than two McDoubles and medium
Frys. For Easter he probably wants a Big Mac or double Quarter Pounder, large frys and a chocolate shake.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: microcenter employee ()
Date: April 21, 2019 02:47PM

McDouble fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Two McDoubles and medium fry is my go to meal at
> mcdees. Today I went to Panam to get just that, on
> my way back to my car I did see a medium large
> grey squirrel sitting atop a toolbox in the back
> of a pickup truck. His eyes seemed to follow me as
> I walked to my car. I jumped in and rolled the
> windows up and turned on the A/C. I was not
> attacked but I think I saw Furman.

I have a feeling that Furman learned from the encounter he had with the VDOT man. The VDOT man was likely the first victim to strike back at Furman using his hard hat to knock Furman to the ground. It sounds like Furman is watching and sizing up his potential victims before making the decision to move in for a harvest. His ideal targets seem to be the elderly and young children with happy meals.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Fresh update ()
Date: April 22, 2019 11:25PM

Tonight about 6:10 I saw Furman make a dash for the open window of a old lady’s Cadillac, but he managed to grab only a handful of fries before she knocked him down with her handbag and he scampered away.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Today ()
Date: April 24, 2019 05:09PM

Update as of 4:30 PM today. As I was leaving the Safeway’s gas station across the street from McDonald’s, I noticed a big fat gray squirrel running as fast as he could across the street. I thought it might be Furman so I followed him with my car. Sure enough he got to the McDonald’s parking lot and jumped into a car occupied by a startled young woman. After some commotion and screaming, I saw him jump back out of the car and run off, dragging what appeared to be a chicken McNugget. I checked on the young woman and she was frightened but had no injuries. Thank god this didn’t end up worse than it did. Fur man must have surveillance cameras, how else would he know there was an easy target waiting to be preyed upon?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: worn out the welcome ()
Date: April 24, 2019 06:28PM

I think it's high time to end furman, as he gets bolder he's only going to become more dangerous. These tree rats reproduce like rabbits, he won't be missed

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Lucky Larry ()
Date: April 24, 2019 09:47PM

worn out the welcome Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think it's high time to end furman, as he gets
> bolder he's only going to become more dangerous.
> These tree rats reproduce like rabbits, he won't
> be missed


Good luck trying to terminate Furman. Lots of folks have been seriously injured attempting that goal.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: jethro.. ()
Date: April 25, 2019 12:44AM

that tree rat ain't shit, and it's time for squirrel stew

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: SumMo ()
Date: April 25, 2019 03:38AM

Today Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I noticed a big fat gray squirrel
> running as fast as he could across the street.


Never call Furman fat. Since he started eating at McDonalds he has been sensitive about his weight. Several others who posted here about his weight are no longer with us. It may just be coincidence, but I wouldn't chance it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Lucky Larry ()
Date: April 25, 2019 06:09AM

jethro.. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> that tree rat ain't shit, and it's time for
> squirrel stew


Watch out Jethro or he will make white dumbass stew out of you.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: jethro. ()
Date: April 25, 2019 09:51PM

Lucky Larry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> jethro.. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > that tree rat ain't shit, and it's time for
> > squirrel stew
>
>
> Watch out Jethro or he will make white dumbass
> stew out of you.


never gonna happen, I grew up in the swamp, ain't nothin tougher than a swamp tree rat, I can handle a metro tree rat

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Jethro Stew ()
Date: April 26, 2019 10:29PM

Jethro is opening up a whole can of whoopass. Hopefully he lives long enough to tell the tale

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Mr Drysdale ()
Date: April 26, 2019 11:06PM

Jethros life expectancy is about one week. Furman rules the roost.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Furmania! ()
Date: April 27, 2019 07:26AM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Ollie Copycat ()
Date: April 27, 2019 07:59AM

Furmania! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Friend of Furman???
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBSkrG6YZQg


Furman apparently has started a trend, now squirrels all over the country will be invading McDonalds.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Taking Over ()
Date: April 27, 2019 08:54AM

Ollie Copycat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Furmania! Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Friend of Furman???
> >
> > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBSkrG6YZQg
>
>
> Furman apparently has started a trend, now
> squirrels all over the country will be invading
> McDonalds.

This is not a trend. This is a well planned attack on our democracy, beginning with our food supply, masterminded by that evil genius Furman.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Jethro's brother ()
Date: April 28, 2019 05:29PM

Hi, my name is Cletus. My brother Jethro went up to this shopping place Friday, said he was gonna do some scoutin but he took his rifle with him also. Anyhow, the family hasn't heard from him sense then. We are hoping someone might have seen somethin and could maybe tell us somethin.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Highly aggressive Attack Squirrel at PanAm shopping center
Posted by: Detective Dan ()
Date: April 28, 2019 06:55PM

Jethro's brother Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi, my name is Cletus. My brother Jethro went up
> to this shopping place Friday, said he was gonna
> do some scoutin but he took his rifle with him
> also. Anyhow, the family hasn't heard from him
> sense then. We are hoping someone might have seen
> somethin and could maybe tell us somethin.


If you go behind Micro center , you may find a fresh mound of dirt. That could be a clue.

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