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My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: 1960’s style ()
Date: August 08, 2018 08:31PM

I make about 115k a year as an accountant which imo is enough support our family. However the wife wanrs to go into the workforce and nanny our kids. I’m not a big fan of the letting strangers raise your kids philosophy. Not sure this will turn out well for us in the long run.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Hot Nannys r Us ()
Date: August 08, 2018 08:40PM

You might want to take a wait-n-see on this.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Au Pair ()
Date: August 08, 2018 08:47PM

Pay a stranger to raise your children.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: put that Ho to work ()
Date: August 08, 2018 10:01PM

$115k is scraps around here. You're always going to be poor, your kids will have to pay for college and you will have a crappy retirement. Once your kids are older your wife will get bored and start surfing tinder for cock and turn into an alcoholic.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Social security ()
Date: August 08, 2018 10:16PM

If your wife can pull down $50k+ a year, it's worth it for her to go back to work. She can at least pay for the daycare/nanny after taxes take a chunk out of her income. Making less than that might not be worth i.

That said:
1) if she is working she is also building her own social security nestegg (good)
2) it is hard to re-enter the workforce after a prolonged absence. Maybe better for her to do it now than later.
3) it's that she wants to do. Forcing someone who doesn't want to be a homemaker into a homemaker is not a recipe.for happiness.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: wally ()
Date: August 09, 2018 12:11AM

Maybe she could go back part time to start off and see how the nanny thing goes.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Pointer outer of things ()
Date: August 09, 2018 01:15AM

put that Ho to work Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> $
> your wife will get bored and start
> surfing tinder for cock and turn into an
> alcoholic.


If she's an alky, I won't respond to her profile

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Beware ()
Date: August 09, 2018 04:17AM

50% of marriages end in Divorce.

Forcing a spouse to stay home with the kids when they want to go to work, or
Forcing a spouse to work when they want to stay home with the kids...

...are typical reasons used in court for why a marriage came to an end.

Resolve the problem and have email proof the problem is resolved, or else the Fault will be pinned on you as cruelty and or desertion grounds for divorce.

When couples with children goes to court for divorce usually one parent get's kicked out the house, one parent gets the majority time with the kids, one person has to pay child support, and one parent has to pay alimony.


This scenario is common the USA. See http://www.erasingfamily.com

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Div Atty ()
Date: August 09, 2018 06:58AM

99% of the time, the guy gets screwed in a divorce.

You wife wants to go back to work so she can more easily hook up with other guys.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Picked wrong woman ()
Date: August 09, 2018 07:02AM

Sad you chose the wrong woman to have kids with!
She wants to go back to work bc she has been brainwashed that this is what she should do.

You figure $500/wk minimum for Daycare....and this Daycare is a shitty franchise like “the learning center/kindecare” next to a low income neighborhood.

She would need to make MORE than $70k to cover expenses as if she didn’t stay home.

If she’s fat with baby weight, encourage her to take yoga classes and/or golds gym(which has Daycare).

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: blanche ()
Date: August 09, 2018 07:18AM

Accounting/Bookkeeping is a good job that can be done online and part-time. Its good to keep those skills up and have your hand in things to network when one wants to go back to full time employment.

That being said, raising your child its the most important job you will ever have -- I worked part-time so that I could be there for blanche junior.

My sister and I were great kids, my mom was a homemaker, and we still got into a ton of mischief. I wanted to be home to see what the urchin was up to...

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Works an Excuse ()
Date: August 09, 2018 07:20AM

Before the technological age created mass office work, women had no interest in working. Because they're lazy and only want cushy work. And quite frankly housework was as cushy as it got in those days and they considered it a bargain to do cushy housework while men did the hard work. Women had no desire to be "equal" to men in the frontier/pioneering days because they didn't pull their fair share, (they were a half-way inbetween to children, half-dependants vs full dependants, but who never grew out of it). They just want the easy life while you provide the safety net. Your wife is not committed to the family, she is in it for herself, work is just an excuse to get out of it.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Old wives' tales ()
Date: August 09, 2018 07:49AM

Beware Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 50% of marriages end in Divorce.

That's what people who don't understand statistics will try to tell you, and what those who don't know any better will blindly believe and go around repeating as if they knew what they were talking about. In reality, divorce rates have been declining since the 1980's to the point where about two-thirds of marriages entered into over the past 15 years are expected to last until the "death do us part" thing gets in the way. Meanwhile, the higher your age, education, and income are on your wedding day, the more stable your marriage is likely to be.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Dr Long Yachts ()
Date: August 09, 2018 08:15AM

The key is really how much she's going to make.

If she's making $12 an hour, that's one thing...200K a year is another matter and changes the equation.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: It's more than that ()
Date: August 09, 2018 08:41AM

People who try to monetize everything and then close the door can, as a group, be labeled "stupid."

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: EML ()
Date: August 09, 2018 09:25AM

" declining since the 1980's to the point where about two-thirds of marriages entered into over the past 15 years are expected to last until the "death do us part"

Short term marriage, both parties working earning the same amount of money and little in the way of assets. Not much profit there. A few years older, a kid or two with mom having left the work force, house and car but heavily in debt, great potential for generating work but little ability to pay, so again little profit. The couple where both have decent jobs and they have a couple of kids in the elementary school years, or an older couple whose kids have or are about to leave home, a successful husband, a wife who put her career on hold for the kids and is now is a job paying significantly less than her husband and a pile of assets. These are as they have been the bread and butter of a divorce practice. And they are growing in numbers.

You talk about misleading statistics and that is true. The 50% divorce rate was driven by a few key demographics. Knock those out and the rate was much lower. Across the demographics, including people who were older, better educated and with higher incomes at marriage, the nmbers have been rising over the past 50 years.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Fuck off, idiot ()
Date: August 09, 2018 09:58AM

Google it, dumbass. Divorce rates peaked in the 80’s, but word seemingly hasn’t gotten to every last asshole yet.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Mike Pence ()
Date: August 09, 2018 10:09AM

It’s your call and your wife needs to obey your decision.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: OnceUponATime ()
Date: August 09, 2018 11:25AM

For a child, knowing someone is at home waiting for you when school lets out, translates into “Im loved and cared for” versus the empty feeling of knowing no one is home.

When a child knows he is loved and cared for (by the actions of their parents), they make decisions good for their well-being.

As a parent looking back, I can see the small amount of time parents have to build the foundation on which their children will grow. It’s not 18 years or 20. It’s more like 10-13 with the first 8 being most critical in providing the dedicated love we need to grow into sound-minded adults.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: local liberal ()
Date: August 09, 2018 12:27PM

^^^^ Sure, but the kid would be much better off coming home to a house that isn't in some filthy nigger laden ghetto because the parents are poor. Nothing says love like your own bedroom and bathroom, a safe neighborhood and healthy white kids to play with.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: v4mpe ()
Date: August 09, 2018 12:54PM


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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Supportyourwife ()
Date: August 09, 2018 01:32PM

Good for her!! You should support your wife’s desire to grow and add her earnings to raising two children. Maybe down the road that extra money helps pay for college and lets you retire early.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Hmmm... ()
Date: August 09, 2018 01:49PM

v4mpe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For divorce rates some real information:

For people over 50.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: You'reFucked(OrNot) ()
Date: August 09, 2018 02:48PM

Your wife hates you, hates her children, hates her life, and is abandoning all of you seeking blessed relief in a whole new life based out of the office.

You married a real keeper.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Huh??? ()
Date: August 09, 2018 09:45PM

OP, what was the childcare agreement BEFORE you had kids? Was the agreement that she would stay home with the kids? If so, then she needs to get back on that plan. That's an extremely dangerous situation to change after the fact. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery if there was an agreement for her to stay home with the kids and she is now reneging on that. You would set a precedent that any future agreement the two of you make is non-binding and she can do whatever she wants.

If the agreement was for her to stay home and she won't adhere to that now...save yourself any more pain and divorce her immediately.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: CoachGibbs ()
Date: August 09, 2018 10:31PM

1. Let Miss Sunshine go back to work
2. Find yo’self a mammy to take care of the brats.

Problem solved.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: wally ()
Date: August 10, 2018 12:02AM

OnceUponATime Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For a child, knowing someone is at home waiting
> for you when school lets out, translates into
> “Im loved and cared for” versus the empty
> feeling of knowing no one is home.
>
> When a child knows he is loved and cared for (by
> the actions of their parents), they make decisions
> good for their well-being.
>
> As a parent looking back, I can see the small
> amount of time parents have to build the
> foundation on which their children will grow.
> It’s not 18 years or 20. It’s more like 10-13
> with the first 8 being most critical in providing
> the dedicated love we need to grow into
> sound-minded adults.

I was a latch-key kid from middle school thru high school. My mom was a nurse and got home a few hours after me. Just because the house was empty when I got home didn't make me feel that I was not loved or cared for. It's kinda dumb to say that if a kid comes home to an empty house because parents are at work that kid will feel they are not loved and cared for.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: LetHerWorkDummy ()
Date: August 10, 2018 03:25PM

You should both decide together - but almost always the best bet in the long run is two working parents unless one spouse has no skills/education (in other words, if you married a dumb dumb) or one spouse is needed to care for a truly special needs child.

I strongly recommend a home daycare over person coming into your house; more people coming and going, keeping an eye on things, more professional/organized/educational, as opposed to a Nanny bored at home with someone's kid(s).

My wife and I faced the same dilemma. Her father died, however, when she was young, so my wife learned that it's not smart to depend on someone else (shit happens - death, sickness, unemployment...). She also was smart/skilled too - and had very marketable skills which wouldn't be so marketable if she was out of the workforce for years.

In hindsight it was a very good decision for our family for her to return to work. She was also an excellent role model for our children, daughters and sons.

My kids went to "school" (daycare) fairly early, learned how to socialize, thus, happy to be with friends, and also happy to be with parents/family. The children grew tremendously, became more independent, and better at problem-solving skills instead of whiny victims of needless helicopter moms so prevalent these days. It made our life balanced. It was sometimes hard juggling, but we made it work, and we had flexibility as well.

Of course, I agree - your spouse has to be able to afford to work ironically because daycare is expensive. However, even if your spouse is making a little more than breaking even, it's worth it in the long run because working spouses are likely paying bills, saving for college and retirement, and have a more well-rounded life.

Stay at home mothers will make it seem like they sacrificed to stay at home which is nonsense. Almost all the stay at mothers I know are limited, lazy, low achievers who fill up their time at PTA or other form of Mommie Daycare while the kids are in school envious of professional women. Stay at home mothers are usually narrow minded and mean.

Now retired, our children are grown, professionals with no student loan debt, who visit us often at our beach house and mountain (ski) lodge. My wife made a killing during her last 15 years in the company where she started modestly. (I paid for our main house). We're blessed and I am glad not to be sitting at home with a dud of a spouse like some of my friends. Support your spouse. Otherwise I agree with the other comments that she will resent you.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: hotnanny ()
Date: August 10, 2018 03:29PM

A Nanny is the way to go. It is a good idea to come home unexpected in the middle of the day to check on things a few times a month.
Attachments:
Nanny-e1334656551804.jpg

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Juleana Cocks ()
Date: August 10, 2018 05:17PM

You're just upset that you make peanut shells and that if your wife goes back to work she will outearn you, and you'll have to drive the minivan.

Sucks to be you.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: President Trump FTW! ()
Date: August 10, 2018 05:41PM

Agreed. I can't even believe people subject their own children to public school let alone daycare or a nanny. Those kind of people should've just had an abortion.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: The Rejoinder ()
Date: August 10, 2018 06:53PM

Your mother should have had an abortion.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Yeah Right ()
Date: August 10, 2018 07:30PM

President Trump FTW! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Agreed. I can't even believe people subject their
> own children to public school let alone daycare or
> a nanny. Those kind of people should've just had
> an abortion.


Yeah right... I'm glad my wife stayed at home scrubbing a toilet (or blowing the kid's soccer coach) until 420 p.m., when the kids came home from school, instead of being an evolved human being. Not. You married a loser.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Nannys ()
Date: August 13, 2018 08:47AM

Nannies project their personal issues onto your kids. If you have sons theyre going to be very strange around women and if you have girls theyll end up sluts. All this for 25,000 a year.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Correction... ()
Date: August 13, 2018 09:56AM

Works an Excuse Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Before the technological age created mass office
> work, women had no interest in working.

You missed the boat by quite a lot, sonny. Women have always worked. Because of stupid religious mores, there have been times in this country when it was frowned upon for a married woman to work outside the home. But they still did, and not just as nurses, teachers, or librarians either. And the stay-at-home types took in woek -- like laundry, sewing, or beauty care. Or they ran inns, cafes, and taverns out of their homes. The notion that women ever just stayed home and didn't worry their pretty little heads over things other than being a model housewife and homemaker is simply cave-man poppycock.

I pity your sorry ass for being so dumb. No doubt many from among "the fairer sex" have already been making you pay in heavy measure for your damned-fool ignorance. More power to them!

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: It's not a tough call... ()
Date: August 13, 2018 10:11AM

Pretty much all women of any measurable intelligence will need more each day than what interaction with a vacuum cleaner or a bunch of two-year olds is going to provide. In terms of your wife's health and ultimately your own, things are going to be better if both partners can be independent enough to get out into the real world and take on some challenges of their own on a regular basis.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Home economics ()
Date: August 13, 2018 10:17AM

When I changed jobs, my wife's income was greater than mine for five or six years. Then I caught up again. But the over-riding point is that wherever it was coming from, all that cash was going into the same pot that supported us both back then and still does to this very day. Win-win no matter which horse was in the lead.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: YesIndeed ()
Date: August 13, 2018 02:09PM

It's not a tough call... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Pretty much all women of any measurable
> intelligence will need more each day than what
> interaction with a vacuum cleaner or a bunch of
> two-year olds is going to provide. In terms of
> your wife's health and ultimately your own, things
> are going to be better if both partners can be
> independent enough to get out into the real world
> and take on some challenges of their own on a
> regular basis.

I agree. And it stuns me when I see women who take their entire life "off," not working (in nearly all cases, some rare exceptions). I go crazy after two weeks off.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: you messed up ()
Date: August 13, 2018 03:35PM

1960’s style Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I make about 115k a year as an accountant which
> imo is enough support our family. However the wife
> wanrs to go into the workforce and nanny our kids.
> I’m not a big fan of the letting strangers raise
> your kids philosophy. Not sure this will turn out
> well for us in the long run.


If she's miserable being a fulltime mom than it will negatively affect your kids.
You got the one that wasn't for you.
I'll take her off your hands, sight unseen, If she does anal

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: yepeyp ()
Date: August 14, 2018 10:27AM

If I were you I would get a pre-emptive financial settlement agreement in case she comes home one day and decides she doesn't like being married any more. Every day there are articles and youtube videos about women deciding one day to leave and become divorced. I think marriage is the biggest scam ever. You are playing the lottery and have a 40% of going completely broke, financially, emotionally, and socially.

Especially these days when women are "independent' = aggressive and angry B's !!!

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: In truth... ()
Date: August 14, 2018 10:37AM

The above are immature males addicted to testosterone and not adapted to anything much beyond locker-room levels of womanizing and beer-guzzling.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Looking back on it........ ()
Date: August 14, 2018 11:27AM

There is nothing wrong with having kids and not having a paid job in addition to that. You are on call 24x7x365x18+ years for these kids and that is a TON of work. If you carve out some time to do a few fun things for yourself in addition to that you deserve it. You do risk losing some of your professional marketability but it is also a very secure feeling for a child to know that a parent is always readily available. Hitting a balance can be difficult. I liked part-time. I could still tend to my kids, but also was able to build up my IRA and 401k and stay current in my field.

A lot of people treat their kids like they are an interruption of their day. They deserve better than that. They cannot take care of themselves.

Nothing is more important than family.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: FFXU online internet troll ()
Date: August 14, 2018 11:37AM

He doesn't want his wife to go back to work 'cuz he'll have to drive way down Rte. 1 and scoop her off a street corner every morning at 5 AM. She better be careful, though, those mexi broads and their pimps chased the white trailer trash out of there years ago. You see a white girl there occasionally, but she's working for some MS-13 cartel or a negro pimp who pays off MS-13 to leave his girls alone.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: bumpx ()
Date: August 14, 2018 12:33PM

Looking back on it........ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is nothing wrong with having kids and not
> having a paid job in addition to that.
>
> Nothing is more important than family.

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent raising your kids and your family. What is wrong is the insistence that one parent, almost always the female, MUST stay at home to raise the children. That is the situation that we have here. If it is so important to the OP that there be a parent at home with the children, then perhaps he should quit his job and stay home.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Easy peasy ()
Date: August 14, 2018 12:49PM

In theory, parents are adults. Each of them should be able to do what they feel is best for them. There are many successful family models. Run with the one that looks best to you.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: August 14, 2018 12:54PM

Thanks to the invading central Americans and blacks needing your hard earned dollars, of course there has to be a two income household these days. So kind of our negroes and spics for destroying family values.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Kbrds ()
Date: August 14, 2018 03:35PM

STFU. Two earner households have been the norm in Fairfax since the Seventies. It was the result of Women's Lib and inflation driving up the cost of housing faster than single earner households could save. Had nothing to do with blacks, who were declining as a percentage of the population at the time, or Hispanics who were negligible.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: August 14, 2018 06:42PM

Kbrds Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> STFU. Two earner households have been the norm in
> Fairfax since the Seventies. It was the result of
> Women's Lib and inflation driving up the cost of
> housing faster than single earner households could
> save. Had nothing to do with blacks, who were
> declining as a percentage of the population at the
> time, or Hispanics who were negligible.


It has everything to do with coloreds and Hispanic beasts. They have ten or twenty people in an apartment, living off fried chicken or iguana. They are responsible for women working which is bullshit.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Simple Economics ()
Date: August 14, 2018 06:46PM

Women got tired of that Fifties crap. They began insisting on a college education and then on jobs and credit in their own right. This created more product and more income, and many new dual-income households.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: August 14, 2018 06:50PM

Simple Economics Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Women got tired of that Fifties crap. They began
> insisting on a college education and then on jobs
> and credit in their own right. This created more
> product and more income, and many new dual-income
> households.


Women are meant to be in the kitchen.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Take a walk, don't come back ()
Date: August 15, 2018 08:32AM

^^^ And you're meant only to be mocked and laughed at as an icon of hapless stupidity. You should abandon ship before you hit the rough seas.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: toolate99999 ()
Date: August 15, 2018 01:39PM

I feel bad for you that you have kids and could be liable for child support. In my opinion divorce courts and strongly against men and should play less of a role in divorces.

But don't let that discourage you from making the right decision. Get the fuck out and don't look back. You can still have some good years and live without a whiny complaining wife. It's in their nature to complain. My engagement ring is tiny( I want a new one), our house is too small, my Lexus is too old, blah blah blah.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Let’s see... ()
Date: August 15, 2018 01:44PM

All these bitchy bossy wives were apparently once sweet as sugar. Either that or someone else was always about as dumb as a stick.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: BOfixed ()
Date: August 15, 2018 02:01PM

Brown Onion use to be all about shit. Now he’s got a political opinion he needs to share. What happened? Did he get a colostomy and all of those problems are no more?

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Jeorge Waters ()
Date: August 24, 2018 07:43AM

That's really a problem and I myself can't suggest you a good way of solving it. I am not even married yet, we are just planning our wedding now wasting time on thee websites like https://www.weddingforward.com/love-songs-for-him/ , making wedding invitations, etc. And I think that in the next few years I'll experience some situations like yours when it's needed to find a compromise but you don't know how to do that. Hope that when I'll be in such situations, I'll figure out what to do.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: hahahaaaaaa ()
Date: August 24, 2018 08:45AM

That's really a problem and I myself can't suggest you a good way of solving it. I am not even married yet, we are just planning our wedding now wasting time on thee websites like https://www.weddingforward.com/love-songs-for-him/ , making wedding invitations, etc. And I think that in the next few years I'll experience some situations like yours when it's needed to find a compromise but you don't know how to do that. Hope that when I'll be in such situations, I'll figure out what to do.


That's what I said to myself a few years ago. "I'll figure out what to do." When we reached a situation that required compromise my bitchy ex wife's response was "you do it my way or I'll divorce you." I should have left her then and there but I wanted things to work out. Turns out we were doomed from that moment on and I should have let her as soon as she said that.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Dumb dumb dumb... ()
Date: August 24, 2018 09:18AM

If you never learned to respect each other and do things together, you never should have married at all and instead should have simply stopped dating. Two losers do not make a winner no matter how hard you "work at it."

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: my experience ()
Date: August 24, 2018 02:29PM

Let her go back to work. She will regret staying home and it will impact your marriage in a big way. Take my word for it. And all of the arguments you may have in favor of her staying home will no longer matter when you two are divorced - by far and away the most painful thing for children.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: WorkisGut ()
Date: August 25, 2018 08:51AM

You don't want a spouse who doesn't have a life. Trust me.

It's more than fine when kids are infants/pre-school, but if she is home with other losers (jobless mothers) all day long, she will be a loser too: poor role model for both your daughters and sons.

Work generally is good, healthy, dealing socially with others and behaving professionally, evolving, learning, challenging... a dimension to life. Work also sucks at times, but, again, that's in the realm of normalcy.

Sitting home, putting dishes away, buying milk, talking to other jobless mothers on the phone or at the neighborhood pool about inane and often nasty immature topics and then saying she's "busy" because she has to drive a kid to soccer practice leads to mental illness for her and you and your poor kids.

The women in my neighborhood who haven't work for extended periods are, in a word, awful. You meet them once, and you're done. We went to a dinner party last month, and people were talking about work. The 40-something stay at home mother piped up and talked about her "job" as an intern when she was in college.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Know your role... ()
Date: August 25, 2018 09:10AM

If you're outdated enough to be letting your dick tell you that you have to be the master of all you see, at least be smart enough to steer the boat away from the reefs. If she wants to work, encourage her in it. Either it will work out or it won't, and as some have been trying to tell you, either of those will be better than the alternative.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: nomanpaymybills ()
Date: August 25, 2018 10:05AM

1960’s style Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I make about 115k a year as an accountant which
> imo is enough support our family. However the wife
> wanrs to go into the workforce and nanny our kids.
> I’m not a big fan of the letting strangers raise
> your kids philosophy. Not sure this will turn out
> well for us in the long run.

Go screw yourself. I would never depend or never wait for my husband to give me grocery money or scrutinize my salon spending (...big purchases, yes, but that's both ways) or allow myself to be trapped in a marriage because I lost the ability to be independent and take care of myself (i.e., an adult).

Partners make decisions together about childcare and priorities. You said in your opinion YOU make enough. What if you get hit by a bus or if you start sleeping with your neighbor, will SHE be able to make enough to support herself if she stays at home cleaning your toilet for several years?

On a side note, home daycare or pre-school program is MUCH better than a stay at homer or Nanny in my opinion -- studies show children are more stimulated and socialize better.

Wait until your kids are in elementary school and you will see the difference between stay at homers and working women, only one group consists of adults. You will be able to point out the nonworking women out in less than 5 seconds.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: WillisRed ()
Date: January 28, 2020 03:10PM

nomanpaymybills Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Go screw yourself. I would never depend or never
> wait for my husband to give me grocery money or
> scrutinize my salon spending (...big purchases,
> yes, but that's both ways) or allow myself to be
> trapped in a marriage because I lost the ability
> to be independent and take care of myself (i.e.,
> an adult).

I agree with this a little more than completely. An accountant is an extremely sought after profession. I can say this by knowing how such services are downloaded - https://osome.com/uk/bookkeeping-services/ A good accountant is worth its weight in gold in small businesses but you can keep several of them. If it is possible not to depend on anyone, use this. It's my opinion. You can open your own business, but it’s not as beautiful as ladies' novels and requires much more time and attention than a mother of two children can give.

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Re: My wife wants to go back to work even though we have 2 pre schoolers
Posted by: Wisdom Speaks ()
Date: January 28, 2020 07:08PM

My wife went back to work, and we had some flexibility, but we found a great provider. As it turned out, we developed into a great/happy routine. Children went to "school," each had their own space, and we came together as a happy family. My kids ended up in the Advanced Placement program and went to TJ High School, stimulated, happy, and athletes, balanced with strong social skills. And my wife ended up killing it in the market place making nearly 1/2 million plus bonus.

Meanwhile, without fail (pun intended), women who stayed home, gossiped about working women, became bitter/nutty and who got dogs to take care of once their kids went to full time kindergarten. These same women were often desperate to get jobs once kids hit high school and saw college costs and retirement nearing.... often without luck. These women were woefully unqualified to do anything, so they put on pussy hats and marched for equality, even though they never worked a day their life. Morons and horrible role models.

115K is shit. Once you see college costs at Ivy League or private schools, you are not going to feel so confident about your salary (particularly given you won;t get much in financial aid).

If your wife wants to have balance, income, a voice in your marriage, consider yourself lucky to have married a woman with neurons and self respect. If you don;t appreciate her, someone else will. Be lucky you didn't marry a stay at home drip who is a lazy sponge who later falsely blame you for your male toxicity.

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