Yes, folks, this is happening in FFX Co. We live in an upscale neighborhood. Mostly couples.

The female half of the couple next door doesn't work outside of the home and neither do I. She's ok, just a bragger and that annoys me so I'm neighborly but nothing beyond that. I don't want to be her friend and I certainly don't want to be anything more.

This woman pushes to spend time with me, copies my style of dress, hair, etc. It's kind of a "single white female" situation but I just ignore it. I couldn't care less what she does, wears, etc.

She constantly asks to do things together and I rarely agree. Once in a blue moon I'll say ok (and then want to drink heavily before I go) just to keep things amicable between us. Lately she's been making some really strange comments. She keeps pushing to go to late dinners, take overnight trips, tries to touch my hair, etc. Sorry woman, I've never dipped in the lady pond and if I was going to it would NEVER be with her. We are talking sun spotted face, half grey hair (pick a lane lady) and secretary spread.

What the F do I do? Be direct and say something, stay the hell away from her completely (not easy to do when she seems to know the second I'm in the yard), ask her husband to tighten her leash???

Yeah, I know this forum and know what I'm in for but it's not the kind of thing I'm going to bring up to moms at my kid's school. My husband thinks it's hysterical. She is giving me the creeps.

WWYD? That's being asked to those of you who wouldn't bang the woman (which you wouldn't if you saw her).

Let her lick your twat, she probably gives great head. Play like you're scared of her and reluctant, you might have to take a kiss or two but if you get her tongue in your canoe the orgasm may be worth it.

Of course, do not reciprocate. Plus you will have the reason to blow her off.

Well you’re off to a great start in working toward the best solution to your dilemma, ask the retards of Fairfax underground for advice.

Hopefully there are no kids.
Attachments:

get tongue deep sweetie

Sounds like you live next door to my ex-wife.

Frank Fucker Wrote:
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> Hopefully there are no kids.

There is a kid. He is openly gay. The mom isn't accepting of it but the dad is supportive.

And for those who say dive in, you wouldn't say that if you saw the hag.

Not if she was the last hag on earth!

And yes, like I said, I knew I'd get some flack but I'm also hoping she reads this and backs off.

Buy her a pink pussy hat and gift wrap it. Buy a card and write in it:
"I won't give you the real thing, ever, but I that you could use a hat."

Put cameras at your door, if you don't have them already.
Make sure you are armed, always.

These nut jobs have a way of turning violent when you turn them down, but you MUST draw a damn line at some point or she will be all over you!

Romans 1:22-27 Wrote:
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> Buy her a pink pussy hat and gift wrap it. Buy a
> card and write in it:
> "I won't give you the real thing, ever, but I that
> you could use a hat."

Thanks for the suggestions but I'm not afraid of her, just repulsed by the idea of the things she suggests.

Your suggestion above is very tempting and had me laughing my ass off, thanks!!!!!

Get a large black strap on dildo, and fuck her into a coma.

These super sexual swinger are always in the upscale neighborhoods, think Braemar, Victory Lakes and many more, so don't be so surprised.

It looks like you are leading her on. Either stop going out with her or open the cooterpocket and let her to her thang. Then dump her.

IF you really want to get rid of her this is what you need to do

have mad sex with your husband, let in cum inside you at least 4x, do not wash crotch for days, try to get yeast infection,

Go on a date with your neighbor and let her go to town.


She won't come back for seconds.

If this is a real post and not a Miz fishing post just be honest with her and express to her what you have expressed here. You said it yourself that you hope she reads this and gets the message. Well perhaps if you are honest with her you two can become friends and swap husbands. BTW does she have a younger better looking sister?

Is her husband hot? Maybe they want a threesome. Do her husband to get back at her.

Offer up some basic anal fisting

AARPer Wrote:
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> If this is a real post and not a Miz fishing post
> just be honest with her and express to her what
> you have expressed here. You said it yourself that
> you hope she reads this and gets the message.

It is a real post and no, I'm not going to say "I don't appreciate your come ons, you seem to be ignoring the fact that I show zero interest in you and the expression on my face should tell you that the thought of touching you makes me physically ill."

I have to live next door to the nut until they move. I'd rather have her read it, think "shit, is she talking about ME???" and realize she's not going to get anywhere, have the reason I avoid her like the plague dawn on her, and have her move on to someone else.

BattingForTheOtherTeam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> AARPer Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > If this is a real post and not a Miz fishing
> post
> > just be honest with her and express to her what
> > you have expressed here. You said it yourself
> that
> > you hope she reads this and gets the message.
>
> It is a real post and no, I'm not going to say "I
> don't appreciate your come ons, you seem to be
> ignoring the fact that I show zero interest in you
> and the expression on my face should tell you that
> the thought of touching you makes me physically
> ill."
>
> I have to live next door to the nut until they
> move. I'd rather have her read it, think "shit,
> is she talking about ME???" and realize she's not
> going to get anywhere, have the reason I avoid her
> like the plague dawn on her, and have her move on
> to someone else.

Drop her and anon note in her mail box with a link to this thread. Perhaps she WILL read it then. Maybe that will help.

Get your lick - her license it's the new thing to do in this liberal country.

What is a "secretary spread"?

Ralph Pootawn Wrote:
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> What is a "secretary spread"?


A wide ass.

Just look her dead in the eyes and say "look, if you want to I would be willing to take a dump on your chest, but I can't help you with anything else."

It sounds like a win win situation.

Kimks Wrote:
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> Just look her dead in the eyes and say "look, if
> you want to I would be willing to take a dump on
> your chest, but I can't help you with anything
> else."
>
> It sounds like a win win situation.

Say what you will about this forum. The responses make dealing with a wannabe lesbo neighbor much easier. Still not even giving her my poo because she'd get a glimpse of the good stuff. lmao!!!!

Stupidest thread ever. Created by some basement dwelling fat fag and seems to make the crotches of other basement dwelling fags tingle.

Uncle Sampson Wrote:
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> Stupidest thread ever. Created by some basement
> dwelling fat fag and seems to make the crotches of
> other basement dwelling fags tingle.


Yet you're here and made an effort to participate.

AARPer Wrote:
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> Uncle Sampson Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Stupidest thread ever. Created by some basement
> > dwelling fat fag and seems to make the crotches
> of
> > other basement dwelling fags tingle.
>
>
> Yet you're here and made an effort to participate.

Exactly.

Move.

Hillsboroharry Wrote:
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> Move.

Thanks sugar, but fuck no. No twisted bitch is going to make me move. She'll learn to get over it.