So my mother in law was widowed last month at the age of 66. She doesn't need the house they bought back in 1973. She wants to stay in the house, but she requires constant help with yard work(7 acres), cutting tree limbs and bushes, cleaning gutters, and repairs around the house.

So my wife and I asked to but her out, or a swap for our condo in Centreville, but she wants to keep the house near Burke Lake. So what is the age to sign someone in to a old age home?

Clearly not a one size fits all issue.

Some need to go in relatively young due to health issues, others never need to go in, and die otherwise able in their 90's at their homes, having lived on their own for years.

depends on the person entirely, and their issues or lack thereof.

* PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. OP IS A SORRY ASS TROLL.

this area has tons of illegals given jobs by the county supervisor and democrats, and tons of housing: even free luxury family sized condos for favored illegals

women want their own housing do not want to be "tied to men"

if you think there's a housing shortage or there will be one: your about 30 years late in point it out

3wdkk Wrote:
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> * PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. OP IS A SORRY ASS
> TROLL.
>
> this area has tons of illegals given jobs by the
> county supervisor and democrats, and tons of
> housing: even free luxury family sized condos for
> favored illegals
>
> women want their own housing do not want to be
> "tied to men"
>
> if you think there's a housing shortage or there
> will be one: your about 30 years late in point it
> out


Sorry, I am not posting a photo of my mother in law, and why do you need it anyway?

You ungrateful bastard take care of your mother .

Don't believe a word of it. Your mom can contact Fairfax County Office on Aging and a Social Worker can come out, assess her needs. They can set up volunteers to come out and help with yard work, maintenance in the house. Take care of your mom. She took care of you. 66 is way too young for a nursing home.

Why are you so eager to kick her out of her own home? If she wants to stay, then let her stay. Hire others to do all the upkeep or do it yourself. Unless she asks for it, You shouldn't even consider putting her in one of those homes without her request.

Unless she has been declared incompetent you can't sign her into a home. Only she can. Those places are not cheap either. If your mother doesn't need specialized medical care it would probably be cheaper to have a handyman and landscape company on call to take care of what needs to be taken care of. That might also be cheaper than condo fees in this area.

Cyrus the great Wrote:
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> You ungrateful bastard take care of your mother .

Yes I agree with this person. In China, three generations live in the same house and the kids are supposed to take care of their parents.

A set age where a person MUST go into a nursing home? Now why didn't I think of that...?

She could sell one acre of that property and that would be way more than needed for the yard work, maintaince etc. Probably pay for an elevator. If she is in a nursing home you will lie awake at night wondering what the hell is going on. She will be yelling for pain medicine, Her clothes will get stolen all the time. Her neighbors die around her. She can get attacked, she will get pressure sores. The food will get monotonous and she will stop eating it after a while. You will still have to arrange transportion to doctors. You will be going over there all the time to straighten out a problem. You will meet pathetic lonely people who have been abandoned.

Sixty six is young. (I was retired at 68 and started another occupation. I go to a gym regularly and still lift weights and I am in my 70's).
Don't assume that someone is over the hill just because you don't want the responsibility for helping them get along in their lives. There are many places in the US where people actually band together and assist each other when needed. Northern Virginia with its population of service to self narcissists apparently is not one of these, when the elderly have to pay $$$$/hour just to hire a ride to their medical appointments ($200/up a trip with some companies).
An older person with enough income to take care of a house on 7 acres in Northern Virginia can easily afford to pay for what she wants and needs. There are possibilities such as renting out her acreage to local horse enthusiasts needing pasture or boarding land available close in. The land around Burke lake is worth millions to any developer. She could sell 6 acres of it to an upscale developer who puts a McMansion/per an acre on it and her house will increase in value. Or she could get a reverse mortgage and use that income to hire a landscape company to maintain it.

I know an elderly man (93 years old) who has been through 3 marriages--maybe more since I have not seen him for the last 27 years and he was on his third one back then. He had to keep finding new spouses when the current ones died off because he was of the generation of men who had everything done for them having to do with the housework needed to live. The first one lasted 35 years, the second one was due to his panic from on the rebound from the death of the first one and turned out to be a brutal woman trying to obtain his money--that one did not last. The next one was another great one, but she passed before him also.
There is a website for the elderly looking for partners called www.ourtime.com. Many such people get together due to needs that each can supply that the other can't do without. She might want to look for a new companion who can fit this bill. The Council on Aging can provide her with lots of opportunities that she could mull over and choose from, but she probably does not accept the possibility that her own kids are not interested in doing any physical labor for her to help with the upkeep. I hope you are not expecting to be included in her will after she finds out the truth.

your conscience Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> She could sell one acre of that property and that
> would be way more than needed for the yard work,
> maintaince etc. Probably pay for an elevator. If
> she is in a nursing home you will lie awake at
> night wondering what the hell is going on. She
> will be yelling for pain medicine, Her clothes
> will get stolen all the time. Her neighbors die
> around her. She can get attacked, she will get
> pressure sores. The food will get monotonous and
> she will stop eating it after a while. You will
> still have to arrange transportion to doctors.
> You will be going over there all the time to
> straighten out a problem. You will meet pathetic
> lonely people who have been abandoned.

Thank you for the feedback. The selling off of the property is going to be all or nothing because the homes in her area require a minimum of 5 acres to build a single family home.

With my job, and my wife's job, we can't keep up with her needs, and we need our time as well.

Anyone over 50 should be involuntarily committed to a retirement home.