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Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Fairfax Onion ()
Date: November 25, 2017 12:32PM

Ok friends here it is, the thread for Foods in FAIRFAX your bowels dont want. Maybe we can leave behind the shitty posters on the general thread. Ill start the bidding with Kilroy's in Springfield. Very bowel hostile foods tainted with so much bacteria its a guaranteed gut-busting experience. Seriously do they shovel the food from a warm dumpster!

Anyway enjoy this NEW THREAD!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: jcc ()
Date: November 25, 2017 12:34PM

I was downtown yesterday - food trucks. How can they be legal? They looked filthy. Why would anyone eat food out of a fucking truck?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Trader Joes Fairfax ()
Date: November 25, 2017 12:43PM

I have some Trader Joe's dinner rolls poking out of my rectum - time to visit the restroom. By the way is there a difference between a restroom and a bathroom?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Phillip Ex ()
Date: November 25, 2017 12:47PM

This shit belongs in the Off Topic thread - dont infest Fairfax topic this is racist terrain not scat lovers domain.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: nooneshere ()
Date: November 25, 2017 01:45PM

uh oh not here too

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: py66n ()
Date: November 25, 2017 01:58PM

Just lost 2 lbs on the toilet. Pretty easy to pass the turkey and stuffing. Hope others are faring as well out there in Fairfax.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Jcc ()
Date: November 25, 2017 02:34PM

Is this the new BIB thread?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Brown lee highway onion ()
Date: November 25, 2017 03:50PM

While going to First Watch with Matilda I ran the Buick over a wetback but he survived so I went around the block to get him again but he managed to pull out a gun and shot out my radiator and A/C condenser. The Buick overheated and had to be towed to Midas for repairs. Matilda and I were very hungry and walked to Burger king where we had double whoppers with cheese and fries. On the cab ride home I started to give birth but with no midwives to help my anus tore and blood and shit went everywhere in the cab. I know of one yellow cab that is all brown and red on the inside! The bleeding has stopped but I still may have to go see anon doc so he can sodomize me on Monday.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: tampons for the ride home... ()
Date: November 25, 2017 05:23PM

Brown lee highway onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> While going to First Watch with Matilda I ran the
> Buick over a wetback but he survived so I went
> around the block to get him again but he managed
> to pull out a gun and shot out my radiator and A/C
> condenser. The Buick overheated and had to be
> towed to Midas for repairs. Matilda and I were
> very hungry and walked to Burger king where we had
> double whoppers with cheese and fries. On the cab
> ride home I started to give birth but with no
> midwives to help my anus tore and blood and shit
> went everywhere in the cab. I know of one yellow
> cab that is all brown and red on the inside! The
> bleeding has stopped but I still may have to go
> see anon doc so he can sodomize me on Monday.

It sounds like Karma may have had a hand in your unassisted delivery - have you considered adopting a more tolerant attitude toward your fellow man? Perhaps, you might find more peace if you and your sister saw everyone as God's children instead of your current narrow-minded perspective.

Also, this is why professional cab drivers always insist on vinyl interiors. A blowout like yours is the reason Yellow Cab has high pressure hoses in the car wash area. Please say hello to Anon as he probes your starfish with his ample sausage fingers. You might be wise to bring along some tampons for the ride home...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: revive the steak an dcheese ()
Date: November 25, 2017 05:53PM

Jersey Mikes Springfield - delicious but NOT bowel friendly. will be spray painting the toilet and underside of seat later.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Please no ()
Date: November 25, 2017 06:27PM

More disgusting posts about bodily functions - so very like this site.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: what was I thinking ()
Date: November 25, 2017 09:48PM

Just ate pot pie, sweet potatoes and pineapple upside down cake - what what I thinking, my poor bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: green-apple splatters ()
Date: November 25, 2017 10:30PM

Chipotle on Pickett - guaranteed green-apple splatters.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Zippy Zaco ()
Date: November 25, 2017 10:43PM

Anyone been to Tippy's Taco on Backlick? How long do you generally have to make it home before the Hershey Squirts begin?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: you make it home? ()
Date: November 26, 2017 12:08AM

Zippy Zaco Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anyone been to Tippy's Taco on Backlick? How long
> do you generally have to make it home before the
> Hershey Squirts begin?


you make it home?!? Must have strong bowels...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: BK Lounge Burke ()
Date: November 26, 2017 10:57AM

Ate fast food for breakfast in Burke today - going to need a putty knife to clean under the toilet rim.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Pumping Stations Stink ()
Date: November 26, 2017 11:25AM

Whenever I drive or ride my bike past the pumping station at Audrey Moore it smells of the shit of a thousand people. WTF? Cant the keep the metric tons of shit vapors out of the environment or burn that shit. Visiting the pool at Ravensworth across Braddock is like sitting in a portapotty on a hot summer day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Kolkata ()
Date: November 26, 2017 11:47AM

Pumping Stations Stink Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whenever I drive or ride my bike past the pumping
> station at Audrey Moore it smells of the shit of a
> thousand people. WTF? Cant the keep the metric
> tons of shit vapors out of the environment or burn
> that shit. Visiting the pool at Ravensworth
> across Braddock is like sitting in a portapotty on
> a hot summer day.

totally true! Its like driving through Kolkata in summer.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Triple whopper w/ cheese eater ()
Date: November 26, 2017 02:33PM

When my bowels are moving slow a triple whopper with cheese and two large onion rings with a large doctor pepper get things going well.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: shake over water ()
Date: November 26, 2017 03:06PM

Triple whopper w/ cheese eater Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When my bowels are moving slow a triple whopper
> with cheese and two large onion rings with a large
> doctor pepper get things going well.

Bowel destruction zone friend. Get ready for the drywall mud shits. In cases like that I generally head to the toilet with a rubber spatula as it saves a lot of toilet paper when cleaning the starfish. Just apply good amount of pressure and scrape front to back then shake over water. Finish with a wet nap and put the spatula in a bucket of bleach then the dishwasher.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: 3rd and28 ()
Date: November 26, 2017 03:50PM

Disgusting.

I just had asparagus soup with crackers and cookies after. My stomach is sending distress signals to my bowels. Im afraid the crew in the bowels is fixing the chute for immediate evacuation.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: yepub ()
Date: November 26, 2017 06:07PM

^ur pee will stench faggot

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Crapper.John, M.D. ()
Date: November 26, 2017 07:30PM

Trader Joes Fairfax Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> By the
> way is there a difference between a restroom and a
> bathroom?

Yes...neither one of them is a washroom, which is only found in Canada.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: quality tale ()
Date: November 26, 2017 09:20PM

Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Robb up all night in New Orleans ()
Date: November 26, 2017 10:52AM

Robb about travel - funny stuff, am I right? Wish I had more to laugh about though. I was in Best Buy this Friday and it was packed. Unfortunately for me I waited in line so long outside that when I got in I had to go to the bathroom BAD. I tried to make my way to the restroom but there was no way I was going to make it over all the Indian bargain shoppers. One of the Indian guys was opening a box and getting yelled at by the store manager. They pushed the box aside and continued arguing - this was my chance. I grabbed the open box (a 36 inch LCD TV) propped it in between two 4 foot stacks of soundbar boxes and had my own little stall.

I barely got my pants down before my brown starfish delivered a forceful cascade of liquid shit into the box. The sound was so loud it could be heard over the din of the Indian ladies fighting over the heavily discounted KitchenAid mixers 3 isles down. As chance would have it the Indian guys turban had fallen on the side of the box and was hanging by the corner. It made excellent toilet tissue.

I quickly finished up and pulled my pants up and replaced the box where it had been. The manager and Indian man were now nearly at a pushing match when the Indian guy lunged at the opened box, grabbed it, thrust it on his shoulder and started walking toward the register. In what can only be described as 'the browning of Haji the hideous contents I had deposited so urgently in the box spilled out all over the mans face, neck and shoulder. A women looking over the washing machines saw the whole thing and immediately projectile vomited into a Maytag upright. I slipped away, and escaped with my drawing tablet and Intel i7 lap top each 40% off.

IBS cannot stop this bargain hunter...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Lester OMP ()
Date: November 27, 2017 09:00AM

waaay too much coffee this morning - heading back home to spend the morning on the toilet. Already had an accident and need to change my shorts. ugh.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: James Brown stains ()
Date: November 27, 2017 10:25AM

I just shit my pants. I FEEL GOOD!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: unfair action ()
Date: November 27, 2017 10:50AM

James Brown stains Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just shit my pants. I FEEL GOOD!

You probably need some emotional help as that is not really supposed to feel good my fren. perhaps if you planned better you could make it to a bathroom or bucket even. Pants should be a very last resort.

just sayin. hope you have leather of vinyl seats in your car and do not play the 'smell my finger' game with your spouse - that is an unfair action.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: peets relief ()
Date: November 27, 2017 12:19PM

Light brown rope - just lost about 4 feet of it. much wiping at Peets coffee.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: get lost ()
Date: November 27, 2017 05:54PM

nobody wants your stupid scat thread here go back to the freaks in off topic retard. And dont be bringing those disgusting pictures here either - that is what attracted the gate to the spammers that have taken over over there.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: quality content ()
Date: November 28, 2017 04:18PM

Re: The Mike O'Meara Show
Posted by: Carla cant count! ()
Date: November 28, 2017 01:45PM

Cary is so funny - really good time listening. Wish my day was so funny - it wasnt. Went into get a haircut and it went sideways. Sat in the new woman's chair cause my hair isnt that great anyway. She started and right away I felt a twisting in my stomach. I took almost no time before I was literally biting my lip and clear fluid ran down my nose. She didnt notice until it was too late. My trousers erupted with a thunderous belching sound as blast of hot liquid shit flowed from my rectum like water being released from the base of a damn.

I eliminated so much so fast I literally slid off the vinyl barber's chair and onto the floor. As I struggled to get up the slick batter of hair an my feces caused me to slip. I grabbed an older man standing in front of my chair and pulled him down face first into the unfortunate hair/shit puddle at my knees. The man had hit his head in the fall and seemed to be having a kind of seizure which resembled the action children make when making snow angles, only this was face down.

Though coated in shit myself the sight of the mans suffering was too much even for me, as I turned my head I noticed a beautician at the sinks not 10 feet away had seen the whole thing and began to vomit violently into the face of a mans head in the sink - not the shampoo he had hoped for Im sure.

Anyway they begged me to leave as the head barber raced out the door to purchase a bag of kitty litter and I suspect to find a bush to empty his own stomach into.

IBS strikes when you least expect it...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: phillip c ()
Date: November 29, 2017 11:29AM

weird but funny

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Maria Gonzales ()
Date: November 30, 2017 07:15PM

I must remember not to have so many burritos on my period!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: LOLZ ()
Date: December 18, 2017 09:04AM

LOL GOOD THREAD MAN

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: LetsRock ()
Date: December 18, 2017 09:45AM

Worst attack:

While leaving Myrtle Beach on a Monday, stomach started to rumble while sitting in massive traffic and no place to go. I was able to make it to a car dealership that was close enough and so I banged on door until they let me in.

2nd worst attack:

After having dinner at Don Pablo's in Manassas, stomach started to rumble while sitting in traffic light next to Manassas Mall. I was driving my girlfriends's Nissan XTerra so I jumped the curb since I was not up the the intersection and darted to the Ruby Tuesday and almost lost it running the restroom.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Date: December 22, 2017 12:41AM

Dickies BBQ, which heats their BBQ sauce in little hot pots, will leave you with the runniest, burningest shits of your life for the next three weeks.

True story.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Cole Lenski ()
Date: December 22, 2017 02:21PM

About once or twice a month I go to the Chinese food place at Kings Park shopping center and get dinner size serving Kung Pao chicken. I ask them to make it extra spicy and I get extra orders of the white sticky rice. I try not to eat anything else on the day I do this so everything is clear from my stomach through asshole.

I eat the Kung Pao and most of the rice, leaving about half a serving of sticky rice for the end and I have that by itself. Let me tell you friends, this starts turning into concrete within 10 minutes.

I won't need to take a shit for 2 or 3, or sometime 4 or 5 days, but when it comes, look out. Very difficult to get that hard, sticky leading edge of the turd to actually pass. Sometimes I need 2 or 3 tries before I get much progress. I try and drink a lot of water the day I think it'll pass. Usually, once the turd starts to actually evacuate, the rest follows very quickly. I end up with a turd perfectly formed in the shape of my bowel.I generally take a picture if it looks like the turd is 15" long or more, and I had one that I'm sure was over 20". That one I wanted to pull out of the bowl and have it mounted but my Mom said no (bitch).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: ArnoldWilder ()
Date: September 15, 2020 10:49AM

Hi, yes you are right. In the last time we eat a lot of unnecessary food and this is completely wrong. I recently had serious stomach problems. As a result, after a full examination, it turned out that I had gastritis. I was very disappointed and started eating as healthy as possible. By the way, my dietitian and I were choosing foods that I can eat in my diet and after a few hours we came to the conclusion that the healthiest foods rich in proteins are foods that start with L. I was very surprised by this fact! We even found a website with a list of all products with the letter L and learned a lot of interesting facts about these products there.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want Fairfax Edition!
Posted by: Sploosh! ()
Date: September 15, 2020 03:01PM

I’ll bite- What up BiBs!

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