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Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Dog Walker1 ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:37AM

portion from New York Post click here to read the rest: http://nypost.com/2015/11/17/victim-of-sandwich-assault-tails-his-attacker-until-police-arrest-him/

Quote

FAIRFAX, Va. — Police say a drunken New Jersey man threw a sandwich at another man at a northern Virginia pizza restaurant and is now facing charges.

The Fairfax City Police Department says in a news release that 32-year-old Jonathan M. Magnes of Morristown, New Jersey, threw a sandwich at a 50-year-old man at a Fairfax pizza restaurant and then drove away.

[snip]

The UPI version (click to read full story http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2015/11/17/Virginia-man-accused-of-assault-with-a-sandwich/6731447788985/ ) includes this with an amusing erroneous name for the victim of the sandwich assault and battery:

Quote

[snip]

Magnes attempted to flee the scene and was pursued by the victim, 50-year-old Dunn Lorning.[emphasis added]

[snip]

same story at other sites:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/public-safety/man-throws-sandwich-at-another-man-in-fairfax-shopping-center-parking-lot-and-flees/2015/11/18/40bfcbf0-8dec-11e5-acff-673ae92ddd2b_story.html

http://wjla.com/news/local/man-arrested-for-assault-with-a-sandwich

---------------------

As soon as you saw the headline, you knew that drugs and/or alcohol were involved. You were right, the alleged perp was charged with DUI in addition to assault and battery.

Apparently the sandwich throwing happened in a parking lot near Firenze Pizza in Fairfax City, but Firenze denied that they sold the assault sandwich.

Victim followed alleged perp after he drove away. Officers apparently saw the car chase and arrested the alleged perp.

No word on what type of sandwich was involved.

BONUS QUESTION: Will the sandwich be held in a refrigerator in the police evidence locker or will they store it in the refrigerator in their break room?

-----------------

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. - John Cassis on manners

Ignoring juvenile attacks and remarks on the internet for over two decades.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Vienna is for Assholes ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:59AM

Dog Walker1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> As soon as you saw the headline, you knew that...


It would be one of the transplanted Assholes from Jersey.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Ray Cyst ()
Date: November 19, 2015 01:04AM

Vienna is for Assholes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dog Walker1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > As soon as you saw the headline, you knew
> that...
>
>
> It would be one of the transplanted Assholes from
> Jersey.


Virginia should stop allowing refugees from Joisey to cross its borders!

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Sandwitch ()
Date: November 19, 2015 06:19AM

Maybe they will eat the sandwich and evidence is missing.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: I'm from Jersey! Are you? ()
Date: November 19, 2015 09:34AM

Ray Cyst Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Virginia should stop allowing refugees from Joisey
> to cross its borders!

Since I'm already, ya know...

Attachments:
I'm okay with this.png

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: DP4Pm ()
Date: November 19, 2015 09:52AM

"Victim"? "Assault & battery"? Was there a rock in the sandwich? Why did he throw his sandwich. Maybe 50-year old was the one who fixed it.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: When Harry Met Larry ()
Date: November 19, 2015 10:01AM

It was an accident. He was in the restaurant demonstrating to his girlfriend how to take an orgasm, and the sandwhich flew off the table onto the face of a stranger.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: I'm from Jersey! Are you? ()
Date: November 19, 2015 10:08AM

BTW, 'tossin' heroes', which is what it's called when Jersey men settle their differences using luncheon entrees as weapons, is a time-honored New Jersey tradition. If you nancyboys here in Dixie can't handle tossin' heroes, then don't mess with Jersey men.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: not a lawyer ()
Date: November 19, 2015 10:51AM

The victim probably wont show for court and the assault will be thrown out. If this is his first DWI the perp will be out 10 grand and get a restricted license. That is punishment enough for a food fight.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: e3YCX ()
Date: November 19, 2015 11:44AM

I'm from Jersey! Are you? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BTW, 'tossin' heroes', which is what it's called
> when Jersey men settle their differences using
> luncheon entrees as weapons, is a time-honored New
> Jersey tradition. If you nancyboys here in Dixie
> can't handle tossin' heroes, then don't mess with
> Jersey men.


I think you mean 'tossin salad.'

That's more the standard for Jersey 'men.'

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Damn Libs! ()
Date: November 19, 2015 11:59AM

Libs have ruined this country. You can't even throw sandwiches at people and drive drunk any more!!!

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Sandwich ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:09PM

The Sandwich police were all over this.
Attachments:
sandwich police.htm

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Not us ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:21PM

Dog Walker1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Apparently the sandwich throwing happened in a
> parking lot near Firenze Pizza in Fairfax City,
> but Firenze denied that they sold the assault
> sandwich.

Officers we don't know anything about a sandwich. We would never sell a sandwich to a person we thought was going to hurt somebody. He must of bought that some other place.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: I'm from Jersey! Are you? ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:22PM

e3YCX Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think you mean 'tossin salad.'
>
> That's more the standard for Jersey 'men.'

Jersey men don't eat salads, Dixie nancyboy.

'Tossin salads' is for homos like you.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Eggman ()
Date: November 19, 2015 12:24PM

I'm from Jersey! Are you? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BTW, 'tossin' heroes', which is what it's called
> when Jersey men settle their differences using
> luncheon entrees as weapons, is a time-honored New
> Jersey tradition. If you nancyboys here in Dixie
> can't handle tossin' heroes, then don't mess with
> Jersey men.


You should broach this subject with trepidation.
I'm the egg man, driving around.
King of the town.
Always got my window down.
Ready to throw.

Don't make the mistake of going through life with egg on your face.

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: Colon Blow ()
Date: November 19, 2015 09:22PM

Was it Jersey Mike?

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Re: Victim of sandwich assault tails his attacker until police arrest him (Fairfax)
Posted by: My Belle ()
Date: November 19, 2015 09:48PM

If they had just listened to Michelle and stopped selling that shit then the entire incident could have been avoided.

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