Well I am considering putting my head in the noose and joining my kids school's PTA as a board member. It looks like a lot of work and more time away from the kids (evening meetings). Any experienced parents have advise for a fellow Fairfaxian???

Go for it Dono. Someone needs to to keep Fairfax PTA's down to Earth. You've got my vote. The only advice I can offer is, don't be radical. This clique doesn't like ideas that aren't they're own or prompt too much change...even if it's needed.

Don't waste your time. PTA's get no input on personnel or curriculum: the only two issues that matter at a school.

Your sole function will be to fundraise and suck-up to the principal.

Well said Thomas More!! Fund raising will be the most dominant function

AMEN! Tried doing PTA. The less I do now the better.

You don't know what you are talking about. My friend was PTA Pres at the elementary level and the middle school level. She got to sit in on hiring new administrators and worked on the school plan. PTA is very rewarding and more parents should step up to help make a difference!

dono Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well I am considering putting my head in the noose
> and joining my kids school's PTA as a board
> member. It looks like a lot of work and more time
> away from the kids (evening meetings). Any
> experienced parents have advise for a fellow
> Fairfaxian???

If you enjoy being pecked to death by hens and accomplishing nothing to benefit your kids, then I say "go for it."

As for new hires, the PTA board is strictly advisory in nature. The real decisions are made by the School Board.

WashingTone Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ....As for new hires, the PTA board is strictly
> advisory in nature. The real decisions are made by
> the School Board.


As they should be! Can you imagine FCPS allowing a bunch of neurotic parents, with all sorts of religious, political and racial hangups, to do the hiring and firing of school personnel?

tubby Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ....As for new hires, the PTA board is strictly
> > advisory in nature. The real decisions are made
> by
> > the School Board.
>
>
> As they should be! Can you imagine FCPS allowing
> a bunch of neurotic parents, with all sorts of
> religious, political and racial hangups, to do the
> hiring and firing of school personnel?


I'm not saying that they should have a say. I'm saying that if people volunteer to serve on a PTA board with the idea they will actually have a say in this stuff, they are kidding themselves. The PTA is seen as a nuisance by the school administration and school board, not an asset.

Just the facts Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You don't know what you are talking about. My
> friend was PTA Pres at the elementary level and
> the middle school level. She got to sit in on
> hiring new administrators and worked on the school
> plan. PTA is very rewarding and more parents
> should step up to help make a difference!

That is so sweet, letting her sit there like that while they pretend to care about what she said.

WashingTone Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
The PTA is seen as a nuisance by the school administration and school board, not an asset.


That's a ridiculous statement. The efforts of an organized PTA are often vital for fundraising and supporting extracurricular programs at a school. The best schools in the county usually have strong PTAs and booster programs.

Parents would complain if a PTA existed or not. It can be a lot easier to coordinate interaction with parents through a PTA (as opposed to dealing with them individually).

Eastsider Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> The PTA is seen as a nuisance by the school
> administration and school board, not an asset.
>
>
> That's a ridiculous statement. The efforts of an
> organized PTA are often vital for fundraising and
> supporting extracurricular programs at a school.
> The best schools in the county usually have strong
> PTAs and booster programs.
>
> Parents would complain if a PTA existed or not.
> It can be a lot easier to coordinate interaction
> with parents through a PTA (as opposed to dealing
> with them individually).


School administrators' jobs do not depend one iota on extra-curricular activities or fund raising. Working with the PTA is extra work and ass-kissing Principals and Teachers have to do as part of their jobs. In return, the PTA has no say in whether those people keep their jobs if cuts go through. An extra field trip here and there doesn't make the PTA some great calling.

WashingTone Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dono Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Well I am considering putting my head in the
> noose
> > and joining my kids school's PTA as a board
> > member. It looks like a lot of work and more
> time
> > away from the kids (evening meetings). Any
> > experienced parents have advise for a fellow
> > Fairfaxian???
>
> If you enjoy being pecked to death by hens and
> accomplishing nothing to benefit your kids, then I
> say "go for it."
>

Well said. Helicopter parents and chronic whiners constantly in high gear
to advance their own pathetic agendas. My wife gave up after trying it for
a year just to give her ears a rest.

Lil'Johnny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dono Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Well I am considering putting my head in the
> > noose
> > > and joining my kids school's PTA as a board
> > > member. It looks like a lot of work and more
> > time
> > > away from the kids (evening meetings). Any
> > > experienced parents have advise for a fellow
> > > Fairfaxian???
> >
> > If you enjoy being pecked to death by hens and
> > accomplishing nothing to benefit your kids, then
> I
> > say "go for it."
> >
>
> Well said. Helicopter parents and chronic whiners
> constantly in high gear
> to advance their own pathetic agendas. My wife
> gave up after trying it for
> a year just to give her ears a rest.


PTA's seem to be made up mostly of stay at home moms who need a outlet and enjoy their inspired moments of interacting. Mostly they look at supporting and being in aw of the administration. For some reason they do not look at themselves as a consumer watch group, that as consumers of the school board's services, they can have a voice. And that voice can be powerful can be seen by recent parents organizing outside of PTA and having the power to influence the school board on such issues as the grading and zoning. Well maybe not zoning.

PTAs seem to be the adult version of some high school clique. The dynamics are the same, the people are the same. They're just older and more discreet with their snarky comments.

WTL

PTA's and their influence vary greatly from school to school. I've seen PTA's range in relevancy; from displays for seasonal changes to bringing pressure to "fire" a principal... All depends on what the parents make of it and how skilled they are at causing a ruckus.

Most PTA moms here are exactly as Shadow, Rod, Lil' Johnny, and WashingTone Locian have stated it. A few elementary schools in the Fort Hunt area have extremely disturbing environments due to the high-maintenance parents thinking they run the school. The moms ran out a principal and a teacher a few years back at one elementary school.

Shadow Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> PTAs seem to be the adult version of some high
> school clique. The dynamics are the same, the
> people are the same. They're just older and more
> discreet with their snarky comments.


+1


Exactly! All of the soccer moms turn back into the catty little bitches they were in high school. They fight proxy wars with each other, using the Principals and Teachers. The net effect is they waste the time, resources and energy of the schools fighting their cat fights; time, resources and energy that should be used to educate kids instead of on fabricated intrigue and innuendo.

ella Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Most PTA moms here are exactly as Shadow, Rod,
> Lil' Johnny, and WashingTone Locian have stated
> it. A few elementary schools in the Fort Hunt
> area have extremely disturbing environments due to
> the high-maintenance parents thinking they run the
> school. The moms ran out a principal and a
> teacher a few years back at one elementary school.

Well said. Its not just the PTA either. I was active with Band Parents
for 4 years and sometimes it really got to me. We had a woman (I call
her "The Attack Dachshund") that I had noticed very early on. She was
about 5' tall and her nose started in the middle of her forehead. She
was always standing around with a clipboard trying to look important
and occasionally barked orders at people. I didnt know any better and
assumed she was some sort of official. That wasnt the case. She was
a constant pain in the ass to everybody and didnt do a damned thing
except stand around with her clipboard. One night I exploded at her
and told her to get off her lazy duff and help out or get out of my way.
The Marching Band had been off on a trip and their equipment truck arrived
ahead of the buses carrying the kids. It was starting to rain and the gear
had to be unloaded quick, especially the drums. There was Grandpa in his 80's, the truck driver, and myself. The Attack Dachshund walked up and started
watching us race the rain and unloading gear. She took on an air of authority
and started telling us how to unload the equipment and I'd had it.
After I told her to get off her lazy duff or get out of my way, she
disappeared and later complained to the Band Director. When he told me
about it, I laughed and told him we didnt need a "Clipboard Commander"
to stand and watch and asked if she was in my Chain of Command. He laughed
too.

There are far too many stereotypes just like her and we're better off
without them.

Lil'Johnny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
. When he told me
> about it, I laughed and told him we didnt need a
> "Clipboard Commander"
> to stand and watch and asked if she was in my
> Chain of Command. He laughed
> too.
>


The parents with the biggest fucking mouths and the biggest fucking attitudes all seem to be "clipboard commanders." None of them actually ever lift a finger to help, but, by God, they'll tell you how to do it.

All PTA'S are suck ups that do nothing.

tubby Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> > > ....As for new hires, the PTA board is strictly advisory in nature. The real decisions are made by the School Board.< < <

> > As they should be! Can you imagine FCPS allowing a bunch of neurotic parents, with all sorts of religious, political and racial hangups, to do the hiring and firing of school personnel?< <

It's hard to imagine that a simian could do a worse job in regard to hiring than is being done now.

Thomas More Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> tubby Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > > > ....As for new hires, the PTA board is
> strictly advisory in nature. The real decisions
> are made by the School Board.< < <
>
> > > As they should be! Can you imagine FCPS
> allowing a bunch of neurotic parents, with all
> sorts of religious, political and racial hangups,
> to do the hiring and firing of school personnel?<
> <
>
> It's hard to imagine that a simian could do a
> worse job in regard to hiring than is being done
> now.

Imagine a bunch of simians. With soccer stickers on their mini-vans.

tubby Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ....As for new hires, the PTA board is strictly
> > advisory in nature. The real decisions are made
> by
> > the School Board.
>
>
> As they should be! Can you imagine FCPS allowing
> a bunch of neurotic parents, with all sorts of
> religious, political and racial hangups, to do the
> hiring and firing of school personnel?

LOL! I can see it now. We have to find an applicant who is a Black
woman veteran, handicapped, gay, has a Hispanic surname and has
converted to Islam. Such an applicant would be a shoo-in.

I think PTA's are great organizations and I'll be ready to help again as soon as my house arrest is over this summer.

I am going for it. I am a recovering stay-at-home dad who went to school every day with the kids (live across the street). If the oblivious masses knew what went on in my school they would be pretty pissed off. For the most part PTA is in fact in charge of fundraising for enrichment programs that benefit all the kids - something that will be increasingly important as our funds are cut.

My first suggestion will be to excuse the Principal and VP from the meetings after 30 min. They have had a long day and the parents in the know need to be able to plan with or against them. You would be surprised the baloney control some admins. foist over the full time work parents (translate absentee parents). I know in my case money dictates the drop-them-off and trust the school mentality but with a bad admin it is a nightmare.

Any way I really do appreciate all the comments. I will post with updates as I experience this journey...

dono, it's great that you are willing to give it a try. Many sincere parents who would like to help get driven off by the scary moms determined to do what pleases them, not what is best for the students' learning environments.

WashinToneLocian said it well about being pecked to death by hens. I've
also warned you about "The Attack Dachshund". Please keep us posted on
your adventures with the PTA. Give'em Hell and I hope to read about it
in the Metro section. Here's a preview of what to expect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6dshqhTMRM&feature=related

Putting others above self is a concept that seems a bit foreign to some of you. Community service is predicated upon the concept. Good luck dono. Thanks for stepping up to the challenge.

Libertarian1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Putting others above self is a concept that seems
> a bit foreign to some of you. Community service
> is predicated upon the concept. Good luck dono.
> Thanks for stepping up to the challenge.


Here's your PTA meeting...



As for community service, volunteer at a homeless shelter. Those people actually need the help, not some suburban PTA full of "holier than thou" bitches in their Lexus SUVs.

To all PTA husbands. PTA made my wife a bitch. At first I thought I was ignorant about the PTA, so ignorant I volunteered to build the PTA website for them. Turns out I was right. It is just a bunch of women who have nothing else better to do and want a little slice to rule. I am not saying that the PTA is not a good thing, it is just some of the people that are in it and the reasons they are in it. My wife did a great job as the PTA President, but the people she worked with were assholes and bent on power-trips. They had petty fights that never ended and never could agree on anything, left her out of the loop on things etc. It was like being in HS all over again. Not to mention, the amount of hours she put it. Laundry was never done, house was always a mess, kids were neglected (irony huh?) - dinners not made - can't tell you how many times I had a sandwich or ceral for dinner. I mostly kept my mouth shut, but it is frustrating especially when I have a real job and get paid and the arguments start flying about who has time to do what and what should take priority. There was a lot of good that came out of this, but just be prepared to handle the ups and downs and make an agreement on the length of the term. We agreed she would do this for 1 year. I am glad she did, or she would have never known what it was like. It is sad that a few apples spoil the bunch. Good Luck

LMAO - Nice!

MT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> To all PTA husbands. PTA made my wife a bitch. At
> first I thought I was ignorant about the PTA, so
> ignorant I volunteered to build the PTA website
> for them. Turns out I was right. It is just a
> bunch of women who have nothing else better to do
> and want a little slice to rule. I am not saying
> that the PTA is not a good thing, it is just some
> of the people that are in it and the reasons they
> are in it. My wife did a great job as the PTA
> President, but the people she worked with were
> assholes and bent on power-trips. They had petty
> fights that never ended and never could agree on
> anything, left her out of the loop on things etc.
> It was like being in HS all over again. Not to
> mention, the amount of hours she put it. Laundry
> was never done, house was always a mess, kids were
> neglected (irony huh?) - dinners not made - can't
> tell you how many times I had a sandwich or ceral
> for dinner. I mostly kept my mouth shut, but it is
> frustrating especially when I have a real job and
> get paid and the arguments start flying about who
> has time to do what and what should take priority.
> There was a lot of good that came out of this, but
> just be prepared to handle the ups and downs and
> make an agreement on the length of the term. We
> agreed she would do this for 1 year. I am glad she
> did, or she would have never known what it was
> like. It is sad that a few apples spoil the bunch.
> Good Luck


This is it exactly. And for the (few) parents who volunteer and WANT to do the right thing--not just gratify their egos--it is a thankless, demoralizing job. I'm sorry you had to find it out the hard way. We did too. I got burned by bitchy moms too much.

The women on the PTA were never the popular girls in high school. Now they have a power trip since they think they are in charge of something for the first time in their lives.

I say stay away.

Wow 2 years since I started this - guess Ill report in.

I have served now as a VP 2 years. There is a term limit of 2 years for my position so, even though Id stay on I have to leave. Well, I could stay in a new position but Im not suited for Treasurer or fundraiser and the only other open position is President.

I took such a confrontational position opposing administration and Assist Superintendent policies (that is to say 'any' opposition) that though the parents would love me as president I really dont feel like ruining my life to spend that much time with people I distrust and dislike.

In the end I have to say the PTA is utterly flawed but very good for the kids. Its flawed because the only real power it has is based on parent participation and that is erratic. The good parents offer a lot of volunteering but most draw the line at standing up against the administration because they are afraid.

Most parents care about the school but are too busy to really help - that can be frustrating for the minority that do volunteer but most active parents dont take that personally.

I would encourage all those considering joining PTA as a board member or running some program for them to do it. It really does help the kids. Just dont take the complainers too seriously - they rarely have the time or work-ethic to do more than bitch. Also manage your expectations regarding how much people care about PTA - they dont. I dont blame them its just a fact of life that PTA is icing on the cake for the kids and there are a lot more pressing things that people care about.

Try and have fun and for the good Lord's sake keep the meetings as short as possible and if you Must have extra meetings make them at a local restaurant where you can have a beer.

pta in elementary school is a big clique. if you are in, your kids will be "popular" and somehow end up in a "good" teacher's class - not in class with "those IEP" kids. the mother trash talk about neighborhood children from "educated" women is appalling. pta in high school is run by incredibly dedicated volunteers because there is a heck of a lot of work to do. unfortunately, there are stay at home parents with odd personality disorders who cannot understand the reality of a working parent's life, especially a working parent who volunteers as an officer. these strange parents end up alienating other much needed volunteers. middle school pta meetings are held in the morning so most working parents cannot attend. think hard before you decide on being an officer.

think twice Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
"unfortunately, there
> are stay at home parents with odd personality
> disorders who cannot understand the reality of a
> working parent's life, "
--------------------------------------------------------


Im a working parent that is on the board of my elementary school PTA and dealing with people like you is mostly just boring...

We spend our time helping without complaining about imaginary cliques and we know the difference between "they're" and "there."

You sound like a real snob.

I stay off the board because it is filled with bitchy women like YOU!

PS I am not think twice.
PSS I work-time and stay at home.

elementary school doesn't hold a candle to high school as far as issues that need to be addressed. high school events that require pta time can start at 6am and can run late into the night. a pta officer's lunch hours are spent writing docs, meeting people for handoffs, straightening out banking mistakes, and running errands for the pta. the thankless people who demand things faster or critique a volunteer who had to carry an event by her/himself because others failed to show up chase hard working people away.

to:parentslikeyou Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You sound like a real snob.
>
> I stay off the board because it is filled with
> bitchy women like YOU!
>
> PS I am not think twice.
> PSS I work-time and stay at home.

Nice try but you FAIL - I am not a woman.

Guess you consider helping without complaining 'bitchy.' My guess is that you stay off the board because you are lazy and would rather complain about all the bad people making an effort rather than doing a little hard work and yes, encountering people with whom you do not agree.

Do us all a favor and stay home with all the other malcontents and let the positive people try and do some good for the kids...

The PTA hate on this thread is interesting. I can certainly imagine some PTAs are cliquish, but that has not been my experience while serving on the board of a local elementary school's PTA. Meetings were all business and 100% focused on the students/teachers and how to serve them better. I've been impressed with how much our PTA has done for the entire school, not just the students. We have a supportive administration who are enthusiastic about parent involvement and appreciate the enrichment programs the PTA supports. It is my opinion that the work of the PTA and the parent volunteers who support its programs are what make our school a community. Finally, I don't believe I met anyone on our board who was there for an egotrip. It's a thankless job that people often sign up for because nobody else is willing to do it. I guess every PTA is different, but I hope this thread won't discourage people from joining the PTA or becoming board members. In the end, I believe the PTA does a ton of good and it feels good to be a part of it.

Mays Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go for it Dono. Someone needs to to keep Fairfax
> PTA's down to Earth. You've got my vote. The
> only advice I can offer is, don't be radical.
> This clique doesn't like ideas that aren't they're
> own or prompt too much change...even if it's
> needed.


True that. A member of my family helped out with some of the committees, but she went back to teaching after a while because she was sick of it. The head PTA honchos did nothing but gossip, gossip, gossip, and they became a bunch of snobs. I even saw the very same PTA heads all the way through high school, and some of them stayed on even after that (All the way from my days in elementary).

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

ptachic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The PTA hate on this thread is interesting. I can
> certainly imagine some PTAs are cliquish, but that
> has not been my experience while serving on the
> board of a local elementary school's PTA.
> Meetings were all business and 100% focused on the
> students/teachers and how to serve them better.
> I've been impressed with how much our PTA has done
> for the entire school, not just the students. We
> have a supportive administration who are
> enthusiastic about parent involvement and
> appreciate the enrichment programs the PTA
> supports. It is my opinion that the work of the
> PTA and the parent volunteers who support its
> programs are what make our school a community.
> Finally, I don't believe I met anyone on our board
> who was there for an egotrip. It's a thankless
> job that people often sign up for because nobody
> else is willing to do it. I guess every PTA is
> different, but I hope this thread won't discourage
> people from joining the PTA or becoming board
> members. In the end, I believe the PTA does a ton
> of good and it feels good to be a part of it.

Of course, YOU don't think your PTA is cliquish. People on the board never think they are being clique-y or exclusive. Your post is written like it is for practice SOLs in the former USSR.

One view Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Of course, YOU don't think your PTA is cliquish.
> People on the board never think they are being
> clique-y or exclusive. Your post is written
> like it is for practice SOLs in the former USSR.

^Do Not Feed^

OP here. almost 6 yrs later. PTA is great when your kids are K-6th after that it is pretty minor. I enjoyed the time spent in various executive offices it is for the parents of young students. Middle school is time to cut the cord and let them deal with their problems on their own with some oversight but not interference.

In a school with problems PTA is a lifeline in a good school its just a way to help a little. Signing out from PTA (Ill still help on small committees in the background).

When P-T-A meetings are attended by teachers and administrators (not just a token few), I'll consider it important.

Best thing you can do in a PTA is turn it into a PTO. Those schools who succeeded in doing that end up with more money for their own schools' needs, and no outside political influence on their projects.

^^^ This is true.

"Best thing you can do in a PTA is turn it into a PTO. Those schools who succeeded in doing that end up with more money for their own schools' needs, and no outside political influence on their projects."

+ 1000.

The State PTA can make it difficult to escape, so if you need help contact schools that have done so. [Woodson is one.]

All this time and participation and I never gave the PTO any thought - mistake. Ive been on the executive committee 5 out of the last 6 years and there is zero benefit from belonging to PTA except for the fact they 'require' audits and certain bylaws. The fact they require them means they get done. You could accomplish that with a PTO charter.

When I was president the PTA sends you a usb with their 'help kit.' No value. None. All info in that is available free on the internet. I dont know any parent, no matter how dedicated that would waste their time going to PTA training. Im not saying PTA us useless it is just that its not worth the $5/member - rather see that money go to new books or software or a party for the kids.