Re: Where in the fuck has the SUN been for the past 5 days? Why is it hiding?
Posted by:
Local Weatherman
()
Date: December 06, 2014 10:13PM
Just moved to NOVA Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Fuck this shit.
> I'm moving from this cloudy, horrible weather,
> overpriced county.
Well, Mr. Cranky, you obviously didn't do your research before moving here. Our weather is the price we pay for an always growing, recession proof economy.
We have cold, rainy autumns. Winters are dreary, dark, and bleak, punctuated by crippling, killer cold (to buses anyway) and devastating snow storms. Kids can expect to miss a month of school a year (6 months if you are hapless enough to live in Fauquier), and you are expected to supplement their lack of class time with expensive, private tutoring.
Spring lasts for 37 minutes. Then we move on to summer. Ours are oppressively hot and humid, with outbreaks of Malaria and Dengue fever quite common. The only bright spots are the City of Fairfax's "Hot Enough to Cook an Egg" sidewalk cook-offs, and the fact that old/poor people die in the heat, culling the herd a bit.
Oh, you should also know that when Congress is in session our atmosphere can unexpectedly turn to sulfur dioxide, and gravity can fail. Although admittedly not that common, people living here must always be prepared to quickly grab the nearest object affixed to the ground and hold on, lest they be flung into space like fleas off a dog getting a $750 grooming.
Ohio ain't lookin so bad after all, now is it?