I've never been locked up before but I was wondering what it's like to be in jail. What is everyday life like? What do you do for fun? How's the food? How are the guards? Is there TV?

Mikelewis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've never been locked up before but I was
> wondering what it's like to be in jail.

>What is
>everyday life like?


BORING



>What do you do for fun?

PLAY CARDS. Force weaker inmates to blow you.


> How's the food?

You won't get any, it will be taken from you.

>How are the guards?

DICKS


>Is there TV?

Yes, but if you are a pussy, you won't be able to select the programming.

Enjoy!

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

I had a friend locked up there for a few days, for one, you get an account that someone on the outside has to deposit money into. This is the only way for you to get necessities: shampoo, deodorant, socks, underwear, snacks. From what I was told, it's awful. Then again, if you do stupid shit...then you deserve to end up there.

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING LOCKED UP!! JUST KNOW MY PERSONAL CRUISE DIRECTOR TYLER COREY WILL PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR CELL TO COME AND ENTERTAIN ME ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. I AM THE FUCKING SHERIFF OF FAIRFAX COUNTY!!!!

Drink a lot, drive real fast and find out.

First, spend about 36 hours in the drunk tank (if you don't have bail or cannot afford bail)..

After being in the drunk tank, you'll be classified according to different risk factors and a quick halfassed psyche evaluation.

Once you are classified (assigned a cell), you are given your green one pieve jump-suit. You get to strip naked at the counter whilst you go over the last bit of property you have (so it can go into storage)..

Here is where you are issued jail shoes, jumpsuits, gym shorts, a blanket and some other bullshit..

Then you are taken to the very small temporary cells that's near segregation (the hole) where 16 of you are packed like sardines. You'll be eating, sleeping, shitting and smelling the other 16 guys shit for the next 24 hours here.

When breakfast arrives, make sure NO ONE steals a spoon or milk carton. They will be counted, and they will strip search / perform enigmas on the spot to find missing utensils. Dont do it here.

Then after 24 hours in the first hell hole, you and the others are then escorted to your assigned cell. Lets hope you are on the "New Side"..

It's one person per cell and the rules are more lax.

...and, good luck to you if you are a chick. The women in the ADC are brutal and collectively known by the sheriff's deputies to be violent and unpredictable.

I hope you like AIDS and getting butt fucked.

ADC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...and, good luck to you if you are a chick. The
> women in the ADC are brutal and collectively known
> by the sheriff's deputies to be violent and
> unpredictable.


ya my gf was in the AIB for a month and she said the ADC is absolutely brutal.

I was there about 15 years ago- nptnN broke it down pretty accurately. I spent 2 days in the drunk tank, which wasnt that bad as there were some comedians in there, but a few of us were put into solitary for laughing too loudly. That sucked and lasted about a day- I remember the dude across the hall from me was cool and slid a newsweek across the floor under the cell doors and that kept me occupied for a few hours. I also rememebr a pay phone on wheels that looked like a robot that they wheel around to the different cells.

Next I was transferred to detox(?) which was kind of a transitional cell block, but again most people were friendly and we played cards and joked around a lot. I was then transferred to general population which is when shit got real- I was truly shocked at how bad it was there. The guys that ran the cell block were all tight with each other and had fake rasta accents (even the white dude doing time developed one..fucking posers) and would bully and intimidate everyone else. Every meal, each of them stole someone elses food tray, and if you spoke up you would get punched at the very least.

On one occasion, this grunge dude was in his bunk after just receiving a couple of snickers bars from commissary, and the fake rastas stole his candy bars and pissed all over him. It was upsetting to see, especially because there was nothing the guy could could do. It was truly a miserable place once in gen pop, and the longest week of my life.

Do the shitters have stall doors? I can't poop unless I have total privacy. Also, do you get a private toilet in solitary confinement?

I worked with a guy who had many DWI's and ASAP violations (he never hurt anybody or stole anything) and he described the same "cruel and unusual punishment" (and I use that term in the legal sense) that you often hear about. Zero protection from physically abusive inmates, no cot or mattress for days on end because they feel like it, whole place kept freezing cold, you name it and they abuse you with it. And I know what you'll all say "don't commit a crime and you don't have to worry" but I give a shit because our Constitution (the supreme law of our land last time I checked) prohibits such treatment so anyone who commits this shit or backs it up is just as lawless as the inmates they are disregarding.

If you support this medieval, unconstitutional crap in the wealthiest county in the country, you are a fucking piece of shit criminal, also.

I was tortured like I was in Abu Grabe. They had several deputies assigned as the beating deputy of the shift. They would grab several inmates and take them to the 3rd floor outside gym, but it was no gym. It was an torture chamber so the JDC kids could hear the screams.

They would place you on a trestle and proceed to Cain your bare buttocks like Michael Faye got in the 90's in Singapore. After the forth wack, you go unconscious and some fat medic kicks you in the head to wake you up so the caining can continue.

Then they will lock you in a rubber room S1 or S2 and yell at you on an intercom all the time they are laughing at you and flushing the toilet. Some female sheriff looks in the cell window and snears at you while you are naked and cold. The insane scream all night and the lights never go out.

The deputies are all sadistic fuckers. They beat you all day and laugh at you until the break you. Then some female sheriff snears and has you brought out to be the court jester for her entertainment.

FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME..I WILL SNEER AT YOU WHEN I AM IN NEED OF IT..I AM THE FUCKING SHERIFF OF FAIRFAX COUNTY!!!

Mikelewis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've never been locked up before but I was
> wondering what it's like to be in jail. What is
> everyday life like? What do you do for fun?
> How's the food? How are the guards? Is there TV?


Lockup Fairfax Extended Stay is going to air in a few weeks.

It said on TV today it will air September 6.

Be carful. People in thar are espcially sensitivo to the word nig nog.

How about Megan Toohey from the "criminals and junkies of Nova threads? I know Fairfax U's arrest and ticket search hasn't been updated in years, but if this chick had this many charges before she was 23, I think it's safe to say she hasn't changed.
Attachments:

YES I WAS LOCKED UP IN THE HELLHOLE KNOWN AS FFX CO ADC,A COUPLE YEARS AGO.FAIRFAX COUNTY AS WELL AS ALOT OF OTHER PLACES TREATS "REAL AMERICANS",AKA BLACK OR WHITE LAWFULLY BORN CITIZENS WITH 2 LAWFUL BLACK OR WHITE AMERICAN PARENTS AND RAISED IN THE USA LIKE DIRT,WHILE THEY TREAT NOT ENGLISH SPEAKING ILLEGAL MOTHERFUCKING PIECES OF TRASH IMMIGRANTS LIKE ROYALTY.THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT.ANY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TRASH NEEDS TO BE EXECUTED,BOTTOM LINE.I WAS NOT READ MY RIGHTS,NOT SHOWN A WARRANT,NOR TOLD WHAT I WAS BEING ARRESTED FOR AT TIME OF ARREST.I WAS ALSO HELD AT THE JAIL 1 DAY LONGER THAN THE JUDGE SAID I WAS TO BE HELD.

geminitiger Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> YES I WAS LOCKED UP IN THE HELLHOLE KNOWN AS FFX
> CO ADC,A COUPLE YEARS AGO.FAIRFAX COUNTY AS WELL
> AS ALOT OF OTHER PLACES TREATS "REAL
> AMERICANS",AKA BLACK OR WHITE LAWFULLY BORN
> CITIZENS WITH 2 LAWFUL BLACK OR WHITE AMERICAN
> PARENTS AND RAISED IN THE USA LIKE DIRT,WHILE THEY
> TREAT NOT ENGLISH SPEAKING ILLEGAL MOTHERFUCKING
> PIECES OF TRASH IMMIGRANTS LIKE ROYALTY.THIS IS
> TOTAL BULLSHIT.ANY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT TRASH NEEDS
> TO BE EXECUTED,BOTTOM LINE.I WAS NOT READ MY
> RIGHTS,NOT SHOWN A WARRANT,NOR TOLD WHAT I WAS
> BEING ARRESTED FOR AT TIME OF ARREST.I WAS ALSO
> HELD AT THE JAIL 1 DAY LONGER THAN THE JUDGE SAID
> I WAS TO BE HELD.

Your capslock is on. Dumbass sounds like someone who belongs in prison for life.

If you get stuck there do your best to get into the AIB.

I am a former Deputy with FFCSO.
Was fired behind my daughter getting I to a fight in PWC.
People think its suppose to be a HOLIDAY IN JAIL...
Don't do illegal stuff and you don't have to follow the jail rules.
After 13 years that same daughter gets locked up in FFXC Jail......
Ashamed and embarrassed about her behavior.
I'm sad I lost my job, but OH WELL, you raise them the best you know, it's the choices she made.
So she was disciplined called crying, I told her, you have to learn to follow the rules.

Don't eat snickers bars in your cell.

Dry Hump Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do the shitters have stall doors? I can't poop
> unless I have total privacy. Also, do you get a
> private toilet in solitary confinement?


No doors on stalls so, you’ll have to hold it. No private toilet in solitary because you are the toilet. Hold it some more or poop on yourself. In order to survive, one must learn to poop when one can. It’s simple. It’s grown up. Baby.

> I've never been locked up before but I was wondering what it's like to be in jail.

Don't find out. People send themselves there. Don't be a scumbag and you don't have to find out.

> What is everyday life like?

The most accurate replies were from nptnN and 54rewrttf.

> What do you do for fun?

Fun? Nothing. I read whatever books/magazines I could get my hands on, and mostly kept to myself. Talked with the few sane people there. Slept as much as I could laying on an icy concrete floor with the neverending echo (of tv and screaming) pounding my ears.

Most guys play cards and gamble (for the food trays and commissary). Argue and fight over gambling debts. Watch ESPN all day long. If you've got a non-violent charge you can work as a trustee and get the little lame-ass priviledges that go with that. Sweat in the kitchen or laundry, or push a broom & mop.

> How's the food?

Edible. But the portions are remarkably small -- you feel hunger all the time. If you've got no commissary you're hating life. Dudes are like vultures, try to snatch food from each other at every opportunity.

> How are the guards?

It runs the gamut from totally facistic to semi-cool. I've seen the deputies beat the living shit out of an inmate just because he ran his mouth. But I've also seen them try to help inmates who were in a bad way. The average deputy will treat you decently if you don't antagonize them. But overall, there's very little oversight in Fairfax Co. ADC -- the deputies do whatever the fuck they want.

> Is there TV?

Yes. Usually any cellblock you go into has three or four dudes who regulate the tv, keep it on ESPN all day long. Control of the tv is a great source of fights. But I've been in a few blocks where they do "tv days" where each guy gets a day to control the tv during lock-out. It all depends.....

Slaughter. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am a former Deputy with FFCSO.
> Was fired behind my daughter getting I to a fight
> in PWC.
> People think its suppose to be a HOLIDAY IN
> JAIL...
> Don't do illegal stuff and you don't have to
> follow the jail rules.
> After 13 years that same daughter gets locked up
> in FFXC Jail......
> Ashamed and embarrassed about her behavior.
> I'm sad I lost my job, but OH WELL, you raise them
> the best you know, it's the choices she made.
> So she was disciplined called crying, I told her,
> you have to learn to follow the rules.


how often do deputies sleep w/ inmates at the detention center? Does it make a difference on whether or not they are being held in a more secure location?

Turn Keys Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The deputies are all sadistic fuckers. They beatc
> you all day and laugh at you until the break you.
> Then some female sheriff snears and has you
> brought out to be the court jester for her
> entertainment.


It was horrible, I sassed the guaed and then they made me listen to Sarah Palin tapes until I confessed. I withstood it for hours but gosh gee will-ikers, I just broke down. I am so ashamed. I will never ever not get my car inspected on the designated month ever again.

smell like poo the whole building does

the dumb asses didn't install the toilets right

sandwiches are good though, when you can get them

-----------------
i charged the magistrate with false imprisonment for collusion with the bailing companies. already filed.

no smoking

i hate people who are unkind to smokers as if they know what is what and are above it all

it's the surest sign they are peices of crap and are facist peices of crap willing to use weapons upon any dumbass idea they may have

6J66W Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> no smoking

yes, you lose your freedoms
what do you not understand about jail?

fucking idiot