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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
See For Yourself:Eric Bonetti Arrested Under Suspicion of Shoplifting
Posted by:
A Concerned Citizen
()
Date: February 03, 2019 05:43PM
Fairfax, VA-
Eric Bonetti, age 54, of Fairfax, VA, was arrested this afternoon at Michael's Crafts store in Fair Lakes on suspicion of shoplifting. Mr. Bonetti was observed by the store manager attempting to conceal a large quantity of poster board under a jacket while exiting the store. 'We've seen this guy here buying supplies before. Talks about making protest signs. Always muttering something about 'Sugarland' and 'I'm going to prove it to everyone finally'. Not sure why he thought he would get away with stealing from us today', said John Johnson, store manager.
A disheveled looking Mike Smith, exiting ABC Bail Bonds office about 4pm, said, 'A GS-15 salary just doesn't go that far when we waste it all on this protest stuff. I told Eric I was happy being the breadwinner but this isn't how I pictured our golden years. ".
When reached for comment, Mr. Bonetti said 'I was about to pay for the posterboard. This is all one big misunderstanding. See you at Dysfunction Juntction bright and early, Bob!".
The suspect has been released on $100k bail. He is considered to be an extremely dangerous domestic terrorist. If you see him, press your panic button and hide under the bed immediately. Call Fr. Bob Malm and the police at once!
Attachments:
Eric Bonetti, age 54, of Fairfax, VA, was arrested this afternoon at Michael's Crafts store in Fair Lakes on suspicion of shoplifting. Mr. Bonetti was observed by the store manager attempting to conceal a large quantity of poster board under a jacket while exiting the store. 'We've seen this guy here buying supplies before. Talks about making protest signs. Always muttering something about 'Sugarland' and 'I'm going to prove it to everyone finally'. Not sure why he thought he would get away with stealing from us today', said John Johnson, store manager.
A disheveled looking Mike Smith, exiting ABC Bail Bonds office about 4pm, said, 'A GS-15 salary just doesn't go that far when we waste it all on this protest stuff. I told Eric I was happy being the breadwinner but this isn't how I pictured our golden years. ".
When reached for comment, Mr. Bonetti said 'I was about to pay for the posterboard. This is all one big misunderstanding. See you at Dysfunction Juntction bright and early, Bob!".
The suspect has been released on $100k bail. He is considered to be an extremely dangerous domestic terrorist. If you see him, press your panic button and hide under the bed immediately. Call Fr. Bob Malm and the police at once!
Attachments:
Re: See For Yourself:Eric Bonetti Arrested Under Suspicion of Shoplifting
Posted by:
Heyday
()
Date: July 25, 2019 10:30PM
Bonetti’s a piece of shit.
Re: See For Yourself:Eric Bonetti Arrested Under Suspicion of Shoplifting
Posted by:
Grace Episcopal Alexandria
()
Date: July 26, 2019 10:06AM
Bob Malm, perjuring priest
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: See For Yourself:Eric Bonetti Arrested Under Suspicion of Shoplifting
Posted by:
Jacob Degraves
()
Date: January 15, 2020 12:29AM
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