You see, I am involuntarily celibate. I would like to have sex with women, but women are not reciprocating. Since prostitution is illegal, I am stuck with pleasuring myself as relieve, but I crave female companionship.

I'm 29 and work as a security guard in Reston. I have always been bad with women and they have never been responsive to me. I'm not ugly, but I'm not pretty either and I am somewhat socially awkward. Not extremely so, but enough to strike many people as being "off" somehow.

What can I do to get laid? Why does America prohibit prostitution? Help me understand.

Also: I am an "ethnic-American." Let's just say that many an Indian has approached me and asked what part of India I am from.

Going 27 mph in a 25 mph zone is illegal too.


http://nova.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/?layout=gallery


Check their reviews before calling, enjoy.

Learn to play the baliset-well! Women will be lining up.

OP is Looming Bunion.

That is all.

pretty obvious Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OP is Looming Bunion.
>
> That is all.

An fat, hairy guy with IBS. How could he not be a hit with the ladies?

I am not hairy.

I don't know what IBS means.

My brothers have been more successful with the ladies, they both get laid by women of various ethnicities.

I just want a woman to hold and touch.

I just want the experience of creaming inside a woman.

Gurney Halleck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My brothers have been more successful with the
> ladies, they both get laid by women of various
> ethnicities.
>
> I just want a woman to hold and touch.
>
> I just want the experience of creaming inside a
> woman.



I see the problem:

Always stop talking after your SECOND SENTENCE and you will be fine.

Take a trip to Asia or South America, you will be treated like a king since you are American and we will assume you make more than $35k a year. You can easily get laid, and it's a great experience seeing other parts of the world.

I make 28k.

Gurney Halleck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My brothers have been more successful with the
> ladies, they both get laid by women of various
> ethnicities.
>
> I just want a woman to hold and touch.
>
> I just want the experience of creaming inside a
> woman.

Is it so wrong that I have fervent desire to cream inside a woman?

You disgrace the name Gurney Halleck. LoserMallCop would be more appropriate.

OP might've been Gerry Connolly in real life, but the bit about wanting a woman rules him out. Gerry would more likely want a young child.

Troll Alert Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OP might've been Gerry Connolly in real life, but
> the bit about wanting a woman rules him out.
> Gerry would more likely want a young child.


o my gosh, you are so cool and hip with the political stuff!

please post it in every thread on the site, please

What can I do to get laid?

SIMPLE - Alcohol

Go to any bar and take your wallet. Find a bunch of hot girls and start buying them shots. Works EVERYTIME!

Remember every girl wants to get laid, she just needs the "I was drunk" excuse to cover for her friends questions.

6y9wD Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Troll Alert Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > OP might've been Gerry Connolly in real life,
> but
> > the bit about wanting a woman rules him out.
> > Gerry would more likely want a young child.
>
>
> o my gosh, you are so cool and hip with the
> political stuff!
>
> please post it in every thread on the site, please

I disagree with this theory. Female sexual desire is inherently different from male sexual desire.

Consider: Women's sexual desire is less potent and intense than male desire. That's why it isn't women getting busted for soliciting prostitutes.

The only time women feel OVERTLY horny is when they're propositioned to by a "high status" (in terms of wealth, attractiveness, etc) man.

Gurney Halleck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gurney Halleck Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My brothers have been more successful with the
> > ladies, they both get laid by women of various
> > ethnicities.
> >
> > I just want a woman to hold and touch.
> >
> > I just want the experience of creaming inside a
> > woman.
>
> Is it so wrong that I have fervent desire to cream
> inside a woman?

I don't work at a mall. I work for a major communications firm in Reston, VA.

I want to know what's like to sniff the pussy of a hot woman. Am I wrong for having these desires?

Go to Greater Springfield Volunteer fire department and ask for the one who says, "I'll try anything once."

Use Craigslist! Post a very truthful ad. Be honest about your situation. It will work.

I have met some GREAT woman on CL. Meet for a drink...don't do coffee....DRINK ALCOHOL. If they don't want to meet for beer, wine or liquor....FUCK THEM.

Meet for Happy Hour only. No dinner.

If NO connection after TWO drinks...walk the fuck out.

Be bold. Ask her questions about her. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF.

Go get them!!

Why is MrMelbistro posting as Gurney? Why?

If you aren't a troll, here's a few thoughts.

#1. If you insist on a hot woman, and you don't want to pay for one, then you might be waiting a long time since you aren't GQ material yourself.

#2. As a follow up to #1, set the bar a bit lower (e.g., a woman with a few extra pounds on her or one who isn't exactly a super model from the neck up.

#3. In general, alcohol helps, but make sure she can still say "yes." You don't want to be high-fiving your pals at the next cricket game only to have Johnny Law put the bracelets on you for sexual assault.

#4. An above poster said to ask questions about her. I second that recommendation. It shows you're interested in her. Just don't ask her questions like "do you like it in the ass?" Ask her questions about her hobbies, movies she likes, music, etc. Chicks like that shit.

#5. Is the need to "cream inside a woman" a must? My recommendation is wrap it up (e.g., wear a condom). Much like #3 above, you don't want her showing up 9 months later with a bundle of joy that's half yours. Plus, it greatly lowers the risk of STDs.

#6. Treat her with respect (even if she declines an invite to bed). Chicks dig that shit too, and she may mention it to one of her friends who is looking that you're a decent guy.

Let us know how it all turns out.

Gurney Halleck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Consider: Women's sexual desire is less potent and
> intense than male desire. That's why it isn't
> women getting busted for soliciting prostitutes.
>
> The only time women feel OVERTLY horny is when
> they're propositioned to by a "high status" (in
> terms of wealth, attractiveness, etc) man.

Plenty of women want sex just as much you do. Women don't get busted for soliciting prostitutes as much because generally speaking it's easier for them to acquire sex when they want it, it has nothing to do with their sex drive.

Women feel horny for a lot of different reasons, but being "propositioned by men of high status" is not the only time they feel horny. Your thoughts on this subject are probably a big reason why women aren't interested in you.

Write to Jesse Matthew c/o Fairfax jailhouse. Hw has no problem getting women.

One way to get laid, in spite of being an ugly fatass who has raped a few women and maybe killed one or two, is to announce that you are a diehard liberal who strongly supports women's rights. Leftwingers will line up to service you. It worked for Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton!

Here's a couple pointers that pop into mind

1. Get a wedding ring, go to a bar where people won't recognize you. Act like you are drinking your troubles away. Women will flock to you, they love a broken needy man. they will know you are taken and will be happy to put out knowing you don't want to commit.

2. Start wearing skinny jeans and slim fit plaid shirt and nerdy glasses.

Get VIP table at club with bottle service, dress very, very nice. Women will flock to you. Act like you have a high paying job in Cali and are just out for a night of fun.

3. Get professional pics taken, start posting on novabackpages, you will get action and pocket money.

I heard black womens vaginas taste like chocolit.

Women are overrated. They're too much hassle. Internet porn and other internet babes are just as satisfying.

The thing also I that I have really bad social anxiety.

Have you guys heard of Wizardchan? I am one of these guys:

https://wizardchan.org/v9k/catalog.html

Start packing heat. Women can't refuse a guy that's carrying a gat... or something like that.