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who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Jolian ()
Date: November 15, 2008 03:40PM

who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: huh ()
Date: November 15, 2008 03:55PM

What do you mean who is Crystal Koons? She is Crystal Koons.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: November 15, 2008 07:38PM

She's Jimmy Koons' 2nd-oldest daughter. I worked for their management company about 10 years ago; all 3 of his daughters have worked for the company in some capacity. Nepotism yes, but they all worked hard and took their jobs seriously.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Eastsider ()
Date: November 15, 2008 08:10PM

jerry's ford...Makes It Clear...LET THE COM-PE-TI-TION BEWARE!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Travis ()
Date: November 15, 2008 11:26PM

Who are you calling a koon? There is no need for racial slurs on this board.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Jones ()
Date: November 17, 2008 03:06AM

Is it wrong to do one(or both) of the following?


(1) picture Krystal Koons while having sex with my wife?

(2) get a raging hard boner everytime I see Krystal Koons on TV

(3) tell my wife to dress up like Krystal Koons

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: hungry ()
Date: November 17, 2008 07:51AM




If Helen Thomas was her mom this is what she would look like

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Kardinal ()
Date: November 18, 2008 03:26PM

The person on the TV may be Ms. Koons.

The person talking is not the same person, or at least not live audio. The lip-synch is rather poor overall.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Lurker. ()
Date: November 18, 2008 07:01PM

This is Krystal, something about that peppy voice... Still want Chantilly to bring back the "The Dawg"


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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: elmo ()
Date: July 02, 2009 01:35AM

Who is Crystal Koons? In a city full of politcians, She's the biggest crook in town! At least I think it's a she. She looks like an ugly old man in drag. Anyway her looks have nothing to do with the fact, that Koons are horrible car dealerships. Do yourself a huge favor and drive on by.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Oracle17 ()
Date: July 02, 2009 10:12AM

I'd hit it.
Attachments:
fb6611354046387401b0bf9accb3c338.jpg

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Burke Curve ()
Date: July 02, 2009 12:32PM

I don't know her, but apparently she wants to Wow Me.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Eyeballs ()
Date: July 02, 2009 12:37PM

I've noticed in the last few weeks that some of the other major dealerships
are using "hot blondes" in their tv ads too. All of them are hotter than
Crystal but none are naked yet. Let's hope they start advertising on
the Playboy Channel.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Lurker. ()
Date: July 02, 2009 12:54PM

I met Crystal Koons a couple weeks ago. She wears glasses and I didn't even recognize her. She was very nice, average every day girl.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2009 12:55PM by Lurker..

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: fairfaxdude ()
Date: July 02, 2009 02:11PM

Isn't Crystal Koons the next generation of Koons, poised to take over the empire her dad built?

Koons seems to be a very good franchise; they sell a LOT of cars and have huge, very professional service departments.

Yeah, they're expensive. Imagine the taxes they pay on just that Tyson's location! I don't go there often, but I've never felt ripped off there either.

And very involved in the community; sponsoring many many activities, especially at the youth and HS levels.

______________________________________________
I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: July 02, 2009 02:15PM

You raise an interesting point. Certainly with a primo piece of lot, you have overhead costs. One would expect that this would be passed along to the consumer - either in higher service fees and parts or higher sticker charges.

On the flip side, does this mean that you would be able to theoretically get a better deal if you were to buy a car in, say Stafford or Winchester?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: § ()
Date: July 02, 2009 02:27PM

I believe you would. The only downfall is if you need warranty work or service, they won't honor the free loaner car while your work is being done.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: July 02, 2009 02:30PM

Good point. Although a free loaner isn't my first consideration on warranty service.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: § ()
Date: July 02, 2009 02:40PM

Not for me either.

#1 is cachet.
#2 is comfort.
#3 is proximity of dealer to either my home or office.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: July 02, 2009 03:18PM

I'd say Crystal is just average in the sack. Only takes in the ass like a few times a year... This opinion is based on my uncanny ability to determine the sexual inclinations of women I've never met. Its a gift.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Nillabean ()
Date: July 02, 2009 06:33PM

I know the latest advertisements show her with some major botox lips going on! Jeezoooweee what a mess!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: inkahootz ()
Date: July 02, 2009 06:52PM

s

edit by Cary: Account password compromised, disabled by administrator.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2010 06:28AM by inkahootz.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: tubby ()
Date: July 02, 2009 07:16PM

I still get wood when I think of the Ourisman Girl!

You always get your waaayyyy...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/17/AR2008061703227.html

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: July 02, 2009 10:20PM

Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Emeritus Q. Beaker ()
Date: July 02, 2009 03:18PM


I'd say Crystal is just average in the sack. Only takes in the ass like a few times a year... This opinion is based on my uncanny ability to determine the sexual inclinations of women I've never met. Its a gift.


Thats funny considering she's a lezbo

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: MattB ()
Date: July 20, 2009 12:21PM

Just wanted to clear up one thing. It was not her father that built that empire. It was her Grandfather. Mr. Koons Sr. His first store was the Koons Ford in Falls Church at 7 Corners. It opened in 1963. Give or take a year. I worked for Jimmy Koons for 20 years. They are very good people.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Brandon ()
Date: July 20, 2009 05:20PM

One of the Koons daughters (Mormon family with a small army of blonde kids) lives down the street from me. She married a Mexican guy who walks around with suits that look like he just randomly picked one off the rack. They even have a little beaner kid, what a waste.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Little Jimmy ()
Date: September 17, 2009 10:03AM

Burke Curve Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't know her, but apparently she wants to Wow
> Me.

You must have had the bumper sticker.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: More Complete ()
Date: September 17, 2009 10:57AM

Her brother went to Lake Braddock. Nice guy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/17/2009 10:58AM by More Complete.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: scottydfl422 ()
Date: September 18, 2009 07:18PM

Had the Koons' as my neighbors for a few years while growing up--Johnny and the oldest daughter Cathy. Good people.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: It's a big family ()
Date: September 18, 2009 07:42PM

More Complete Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Her brother went to Lake Braddock. Nice guy.


Crystal doesn't have any brothers, just two sisters. Her dad has a sister and at least two brothers in the car biz around here, so you probably went to school with one of her cousins.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: bob dvidson ()
Date: October 05, 2009 10:57PM

Yeah, but i'd love to take her for a test drive

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: consumer reporter ()
Date: October 10, 2009 12:56AM

She's a crook pure and simple! You can find out how she "wows" folks by going to places like rip off report dot com, or dealer rater dot com.
She sells damaged cars as certified, and told a guy he had to pay a higher rate because he had such bad credit. It turned out the guy had excellent credit. Those are just 2 of many stories about Koons. Heck that is just the Toyota dealership in Tyson's corner. All Koons car dealers are bad news. The one in Falls Church is one of the worst. Never use them for repairs! I wouldn't take a skate board to Koons! Avoid Koons car lots at all costs.

They buy a lot of advertising, and that is why you rarely hear about how crooked they are. The media won't cover the stories because they don't want to lose the advertising dollars. I know this for a fact. I'm in the media. A quick internet search will lead you to the truth. Krystal Koons and her staff should be in jail.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Coons ()
Date: October 10, 2009 04:52PM

ITRADE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You raise an interesting point. Certainly with a
> primo piece of lot, you have overhead costs. One
> would expect that this would be passed along to
> the consumer - either in higher service fees and
> parts or higher sticker charges.
>
> On the flip side, does this mean that you would be
> able to theoretically get a better deal if you
> were to buy a car in, say Stafford or Winchester?


Sometimes, if a dealer does really well, the manufacturer will buy property and they will build a dealership at no cost to the owner.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Freddy ()
Date: November 30, 2009 09:39PM

What is up with her eyes? Seriously I think they are fake, glass eyes. The last time her commercial came on my roommate screamed.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Tim45 ()
Date: November 30, 2009 09:45PM

Damn I miss the Dawg on the commercials. He had all sorts of crazy shit going on. Adopting dogs, Ric Flair etc. I remember when he would stand there as the cars pulled up so he could tell you the price. One car whizzed past without stopping. He didnt let that bother him he just kept on talking. You never knew what he was going to do next which made the commercials so great.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Watson ()
Date: November 30, 2009 10:21PM

The commercial where shes the teacher and shes wearin those glasses....SA-LAMMIN.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ProVallone ()
Date: December 01, 2009 08:12AM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)

Those wide open eyes of hers are disturbing. Someone must be fisting her from behind.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Mary ()
Date: December 04, 2009 10:14PM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


Crystal only looks like she has glass eyes. I'ts the racoon eyemakeup that makes her so attractive.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: KoonsLover ()
Date: December 05, 2009 12:55AM

Crystal Koons is the whole reason I found this forum a year ago. I googled "crystal Koons topless" and found a post calling her a lesbian here. Soon after I found the ticket search and it was love at first "site".

For the record.. I'm not normally a fan of Koons..

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Tyra ()
Date: January 09, 2010 01:14AM

She's an evil spokesperson for a very very very very VERY bad car dealer. Do not buy a car from these horrible dealerships! All car dealers are crooked, but Koons takes it to a new level of bad. I am confident that everyone who works at Koons will end up burning in hell wearing gasoline undies. As someone stated above, the one in Falls Church is the worst. I used to work there. I saw how they lied. I saw how they cheated. I saw how they stole. I saw how they ripped people off. I just couldn't work there without feeling disgusted. The head of accounting (we called him slimey Steve) is the biggest pig I've ever met in my life. I always felt I needed a shower, but could never get clean enough. I am so thankful I got a better job! Prostitute would have been a step up and a more honest way to make a living. I tell everyone I know to avoid them.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: January 09, 2010 01:38AM

You can't tell?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: January 09, 2010 01:45AM

Bring back the Dawg! Also bring back that hotter than, but lQQks like Jessica Simpson, sidekick of his. I used to love watchin' her bounce her tits all over the place at 3 o'clock AM. I siezed every opportunity to squeeze one off to her I could. Sometimes I doubled up.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: January 09, 2010 08:27AM

Maybe we could have a cage match between here and the Fairfax Auto Giant...

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: January 09, 2010 09:44AM

Koons is shit. Especially their service area. My 4runner was squealing all to hell two summers ago. Take it to Koons, they machine the rotors. A day later, squealing again.
I take it back, they machine the front rotors.
Drive off the lot. A few HOURS later, it's squealing again.
Go back a few days later, they take apart the front brakes and determine nothing wrong. Don't need brakes, they said. It's NOT the brakes at all, they said.

Suddenly, the squealing stops!!
I go in for a routine oil change a few weeks later and they come out telling me that I need new rotors, calipers and pads for my front brakes!!!
I thought you fucking told me 3 weeks ago that I don't need brakes!

In order to need calipers replaced, your brakes need to be worn down to 20%!! Once they are down that low, the calipers lock, I guess, and they have to be replaced.

They said this was going to cost me $2000.00!

I literally went nuts at the service guy at the desk after he told me this.
I told him to go fuck himself, since I've been here 4 times the past month and each time you told me that I didn't need brakes and suddenly within a 3 weeks span, they are worn down to 20%?????

I went to Ourisman and have been going there since then. Koons sends me awesome coupons, which I of course, use at Ourisman!

Don't go to Koons!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: FuckKoons ()
Date: January 14, 2010 10:57AM

I fucking hate Koons. Don't get me started...

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: January 14, 2010 11:18AM

Koons service dept. was great when I went there.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: January 14, 2010 02:07PM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Koons service dept. was great when I went there.

Yea, there WERE when I'd go in for oil changes and the usual brake job. It was when I presented then with a problem that they couldn't figure out, is when shit went down hill.

Douches.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Warhawk ()
Date: January 14, 2010 02:34PM

Elle Diabla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Koons service dept. was great when I went
> there.
>
> Yea, there WERE when I'd go in for oil changes and
> the usual brake job. It was when I presented then
> with a problem that they couldn't figure out, is
> when shit went down hill.
>
> Douches.


Rosenthal dealerships are just as shitty.

__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Lurker. ()
Date: January 14, 2010 02:44PM

I had an electrical problem Goodyear couldn't fix for three days. I took it to Koons and they fixed it in about 30 minutes.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: January 14, 2010 02:57PM

Elle Diabla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Koons service dept. was great when I went
> there.
>
> Yea, there WERE when I'd go in for oil changes and
> the usual brake job. It was when I presented then
> with a problem that they couldn't figure out, is
> when shit went down hill.
>
> Douches.


To be fair, most mechanics these days don't know how to fix shit. I had two different places replace a clutch once and both of them fucked it up. And it wasn't Koons.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: just curious ()
Date: January 14, 2010 04:11PM

Is Crystal Koons a reptilian?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: More Complete ()
Date: January 14, 2010 04:42PM

just curious Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is Crystal Koons a reptilian?

No, republican.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: January 14, 2010 05:02PM

CORRECTION:
They say she is GAY.
So that means she has to be, a Liberal Dem.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: January 15, 2010 02:07AM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


To be fair, most mechanics these days don't know how to fix shit. I had two different places replace a clutch once and both of them fucked it up. And it wasn't Koons.

No if it were Koons, they would have fucked it up even more and overcharged you. I doubt Koons get repeat customers for sales or service. THEY ARE TOTAL AND SHIT!!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: January 15, 2010 02:12AM

^^
That should read total assholes and they are nothing but shit.
I screwed up because I was typing to fast. When I think of Koons I just get so angry!!!!!!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: koonshater ()
Date: January 24, 2010 08:19PM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


I worked there too, and I agree with the others who posted. They are horrible and they will lie right to your face. They have NO respect for the customers. They'll smile while they steal from you. They are just as bad with the staff. The poster named Tyra hit a bullseye about Slimey Steve. He is also known as Meek the Freak!! He once kept hitting on this girl and just wouldn't back down. He even told her "Don't worry I know an abortion clinic if anything happens". She went to management and they said it was her word against his, even though several people had already complained about him. She quit and that low life piece of shit kept his job.Koons are pure and simple EVIL!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Mr. Misery ()
Date: January 26, 2010 07:43PM

Crystal Koons?................more like Crystal POONS!!!

Elle Diabla...at what point did you and Crystal get down and dirty...I can't stop picturing the two of you doing licky-splits...

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: January 26, 2010 11:04PM

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Crystal Koons?................more like Crystal
> POONS!!!
>
> Elle Diabla...at what point did you and Crystal
> get down and dirty...I can't stop picturing the
> two of you doing licky-splits...

Disgust. I have much higher standards for possible lebianism.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Harry Tuttle ()
Date: January 26, 2010 11:27PM

Elle Diabla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Disgust. I have much higher standards for possible
> lebianism.


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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: January 26, 2010 11:36PM

Niiiice stretchmarks!
Attachments:
bigohnoes.gif

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: thedogatemyhomework ()
Date: February 02, 2010 11:27PM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


I've watched Krystal Koons grow up. I remember when she was a little boy.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: had enuff ()
Date: February 03, 2010 12:34AM

As an older guy who still appreciates youthful and caustic humor, FFX underground is a great destination. But I've watched this thread for a long time now, and it often reminds me just how unfair and unkind it can be in real terms to real people.

I've known Krystal and her Dad and her other family members for many years. They are wonderful folks who have done so much for so many and in a manner that intentionally does not draw attention to themselves. Those of you who have renedered judgement based on your singular bad experience in one of the Koon's stores should try mustering the ambition, will and energy to build what this guy has, and then try to control it to your ideal every day through dozens of locations and hundreds of people. You haven't. Let's face it, you won't. He does. So does Krystal.

By the way, you girl on girl dreamers will be sorry to know that Krystal married a great guy a few years ago, and not as a result of an epiphany from her previous lesbian lifestyle.

Get a life. Put down the jumbo. Do SOMETHING constructive and positive with your life.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: •STFU• ()
Date: February 03, 2010 12:50AM

You get a life faggot.

Got to Hell while your at it.

You can "had enough" all you want.

I would suggest you find SOMETHING better to do with YOUR LIFE then read our

personal opinions about shit.

If you don't like what people have to say about you, or anyone else you know,

then get the fuck OFF THE INTERNET, AND THIS WEBSITE.


Otherwise, sit back, smoke your hookah, drink your ale and enjoy the show.

THANKS FOR WATCHING!

Please Comment, Rate, and Subscribe.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 04, 2010 09:23AM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


^^
Had enuff
Just for the record you don't know me either! I can tell you I am a self made man and unlike any of the Koons family I did it without screwing people over!!! It can be done. The Koons dealers lie cheat and steal! It is a fact and it can be proven with a simple internet search! "Wonderful Folks" as you call them do not do what the Koons family does. To say these are a sigular bad experiences shows you how out of touch you must be. It is also like saying. "She was just a secretary for Hitler. It isn't like she worked the gas chamber." In my self made world, wrong is wrong. I made my money by being honest! Koons car dealers are not honest! If they don't want to be criticized for ripping people off, then maybe they shouldn't rip people off! If Krystal doesn't want people talking about her looks, maybe she shouldn't put herself on television. It might even improve sales for them if they thought about putting a pretty girl in their adds. However to be fair, I don't think a pretty girl in the commercials would improve sales. Koons has such a bad reputation in this town I don't think there is anything they could do to get repeat customers. When Krystal and her dad do a commercial apologizing to all the people they have screwed over, maybe I will cut them some slack. Good people apologize and feel remorse when they've done wrong, so if they are wonderful people like you say, this shouldn't be a problem. They aren't good people and it won't happen.

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. If you are such good friends with the Koons family, you are obviously not someone I would want to know.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: FUNdamental ()
Date: February 04, 2010 10:19AM

About 10 year ago, my wife and I went to a VW dealership in Maryland. The sales guy said “it is my name” on the marquee, so he needs to give us the best deal possible so his reputation stays in tact. I asked if he was a “Koons,” (because many in the family go by different last names or deliberately spell their last name differently for privacy), and he said that he married one of the Koons. I thought of the movie FARGO, and wanted to ask him if he got the job before or after he married the Koons woman.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: had enuff ()
Date: February 04, 2010 10:30AM

Wow, Ed.

Got your point. I'll cancel all the plans I had for us this weekend.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 04, 2010 10:16PM

Travis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who are you calling a koon? There is no need for
> racial slurs on this board.


Gee had enuff. I stated my point of view and gave facts to back it up. You stated your point of view and didn't back up anything. Why is that? I guess the big Koons defender couldn't really find any evidence Koons are good people, so instead they made a very lame attempt at humor.
My first sentence said "you don't know me", so your so called punch line makes no sense and falls flat. Your punch line is like a car from Koons. It doesn't work!

You say " Do SOMETHING constructive and positive with your life." I personally think warning the public about the pitfalls of buying from a questionable car dealer is something positive. Please explain why it is okay for Koons to rip people off. I would like to know how you can be a crook and still be a good person. Do you think the Koons family is doing something constructive or positive by ripping people off who go there?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Mr Captcha ()
Date: February 04, 2010 11:20PM

ed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Travis Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Who are you calling a koon? There is no need
> for
> > racial slurs on this board.
>
>
> Gee had enuff. I stated my point of view and gave
> facts to back it up. You stated your point of view
> and didn't back up anything. Why is that? I guess
> the big Koons defender couldn't really find any
> evidence Koons are good people, so instead they
> made a very lame attempt at humor.
> My first sentence said "you don't know me", so
> your so called punch line makes no sense and falls
> flat. Your punch line is like a car from Koons. It
> doesn't work!
>
> You say " Do SOMETHING constructive and positive
> with your life." I personally think warning the
> public about the pitfalls of buying from a
> questionable car dealer is something positive.
> Please explain why it is okay for Koons to rip
> people off. I would like to know how you can be a
> crook and still be a good person. Do you think the
> Koons family is doing something constructive or
> positive by ripping people off who go there?

You showed him! Only took you a year and a half to do it...

Once you're done with him, perhaps you can get around to rubbing that whole "losing the Cold War" thing in Russia's face!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 05, 2010 08:04AM

Your response makes no sense. I responded to had enuff the same day he posted. Why are you trying to discerdit me with a lie? Your attempt at humor is as bad as had enuff's. However since you decided to resond to me, maybe you can explain why we are supposed to believe anything good about Koons. They didn't get their bad reputation by being a good car dealership.
Go ahead I'm all ears (or eyes in this case).

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 05, 2010 09:01AM

I just noticed there was a quote frome Travis at the start of my post. I have no idea how it got there. That wasn't who I was responding to. If you read the thread it is obvious I am responding to had enuff.I even started my post by addressing had enuff. I'm sorry if that confused you. However I would still like to hear why I am supposed to believe why a business with as bad a reputation as Koons is supposed to be run by good people. It makes no sense to me.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Well....... ()
Date: February 05, 2010 09:09AM

Don't hold your breath waiting for a response.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: had enuff ()
Date: February 05, 2010 09:37AM

ed

I've made my own way in life just as you claimed to have done. I've been blessed with many opportunities to do so much, and in so doing, employ hundreds of great folks and develop generational relationships with my customers. One thing I've never been able to do is convince people of something that is contrary to their deeply held beliefs.

Your deep seeded contempt for Krystal and her family is clear and perhaps clinical. Just as I concede that I have no method of persueding you otherwise, your two paragraphs cannot undo my decades long knowledge of these folks and my conclusions based upon hundreds of opportunities to observe their character and nature.

Someone mentioned an experience they had with the (former) Koons VW store in Md. That operation was an extension of the John Koons part of the family, not Jim Koons. While they are biological brothers, they could not be more polarly opposite. That side of the family is totally smoke and mirrors and fraudulent....and out of business.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: had enuff ()
Date: February 05, 2010 09:50AM

By the way, I only posted my original observations and point of view because of the caustic, mean spirited nature of the comments. I did so knowing that some of that would likely be redirected to me. And so it is.

Touching that third rail has obviously accomplished nothing. Live with your rage. Feed it as you wish. I'm out and truly have had enuff of the negativity.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Mr Captcha ()
Date: February 05, 2010 09:52AM

Well....... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't hold your breath waiting for a response.

No, please, hold it. I'd like to see what happens...

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 05, 2010 10:38AM

had enuff
I gave you a well thought out post backed up by facts. Why are you not able to reply the same way? I would like to know the wonderful things you claim they have done. If this is true, you should be able to back up this claim. I would also like to know how you justify their behavior in business. From what I gather, it is sort of like you are saying it is okay to steal from somebody as long as you give a bit of that money to chairity. Is that what you are trying to say? If it is I strongly disagree with your values. If I am wrong, please correct me and explain yourself clearly. Please reply with some facts to back up what you are saying. If you are going to say they are good people when there is a pile of evidence saying they are not, you have to be able to back up your claim. I can sit here and tell people I'm a movie star, but that doesn't make it true. Please post some facts.

Even if you think they are good people, you should question why most of the DC metro area feels the opposite. It isn't just some fluke that so many people won't set foot in a Koons dealership. If you are going to try and change people's opinions, you had better have some facts to back yourself up.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ed ()
Date: February 05, 2010 10:52AM

So why were you unable to understand who I was directing my post at?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: theOne"N"only ()
Date: February 05, 2010 05:01PM

mr captcha is an asshole. He must work for Koons. If he doesn't he should apply. They have lots of stupid asses working there.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: February 05, 2010 05:16PM

You assholes have made this a 7/8 thread now.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Adam ()
Date: February 27, 2010 07:44PM

Read below you sorry ass Krystal Koon fans. I actually have had sexual relations with ms koons..... i have pics if anyone wants to purchase these....

http://www.topix.com/forum/city/white-marsh-md/TIR8AVF0MAPJM0476

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Taylor ()
Date: February 27, 2010 09:26PM

Adam Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Read below you sorry ass Krystal Koon fans. I
> actually have had sexual relations with ms
> koons..... i have pics if anyone wants to purchase
> these....
>
> http://www.topix.com/forum/city/white-marsh-md/TIR
> 8AVF0MAPJM0476

Yeah? Throw one sample photo up for proof, THEN we'll talk $$$.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Tuckaway Johnson ()
Date: February 27, 2010 09:52PM

Produce a pic and I will give you $50,000 USD cash money for it and an additional $50,000 for each additional photo if more can be obtained. We represent the Consumers Guild of North America and we love pornography!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: theOne"N"only ()
Date: March 15, 2010 06:16PM

Wouldn't those pics be considered beastiality?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: bob peck ()
Date: March 16, 2010 01:02PM

Is there a 2010 pin up calendar of Crystal Koons available? Does the Koons family own the land the Chevrolet dealership sits on at Tysons?

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: CAR BIZ ()
Date: April 01, 2010 06:01PM

What I dont understand is how any of you can make sweeping generalizations about an organization or a family because you had a bad break job.

I once went to the Mcdonalds drive through and they forgot to give me my double cheeseburger. Should I now declare all of Ray Kroc's decendents the scum of the earth and threaten to burn down that Mcdonalds? I mean, i paid for it and didnt get it, So I guess they stole from me, which would make them crooks.

OR...someone made a mistake. No malicious intent, just a mistake.

However, having been in the car biz, there were many a time that i wanted to choke the life out of douche bags like some of you. Do u feel entitled to be abussive to dealer personel? Too many people speak without having any idea what the hell they are talking about.

Could that particular manager/technician/salesperson have been an ass? Yes... Could he have been a criminal? Possibly...

Does that mean that the entire organization and everyone working there is a bad person or out to get you? Of course not...

I have had my shareofasshole customers, and if I let that experience determine my opinion of everyone, then all of you would be assholes to me the moment you walked into the dealership, and should be refered to as such. Would that be fair?

No obviously not. Those outside the business have no idea, and those that used to be and left must have been failures. Beacause NO ONE succesful leaves the business.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: April 01, 2010 07:44PM

Been there plenty of times. Enough for an evaluation of "they can go fuck themselves."

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Rippd off 2 ()
Date: April 01, 2010 10:58PM

I've been screwed by Koons before. You think you got a problem with the sales manager, but when you ask for his boss that guy is an even bigger prick.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: consumer reporter ()
Date: April 03, 2010 12:07AM

These are not sweeping generalizations.My newsroom gets complaints about Koons on a DAILY basis. The reason it goes under reported is because they buy advertising.

Everything the other posters have said I've heard many times before. I've even heard worse. That is how Koons does business. The Koons family and their employees are not good people. I am willing to say the entire organization and everyone working there is a bad person. That is my opinion as a reporter, and it is also the opinion of everybody in my newsroom, and every reporter I know in the Washington area. I'm not just talking about those of us on the consumer beat either. I know all kinds of reporters. These are professional reporters who check their facts and do their research. None of them will do business with Koons. I think that speaks volumes!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Taylor ()
Date: April 03, 2010 12:25AM

Krystal Koons is sexual chocolate and I would BANG her like a GONG!!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: tyra ()
Date: April 03, 2010 10:04AM

CAR BIZ Wrote:

> Those outside the business have
> no idea, and those that used to be and left must
> have been failures. Beacause NO ONE succesful
> leaves the business.

I left because I have morals and I don't believe in screwing people over or dealing with sexual harassment.
If you think that makes me a failure you should really take a good look at yourself. The love of money is the root of all evil.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: April 03, 2010 10:51PM

I'd like Krystal Koons to "WOW" me in the SACK!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: April 03, 2010 10:52PM

She will, with her penis, that matches her nose.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Date: April 03, 2010 11:08PM

Said like a true blow-hard tranny that masquerades as a woman here in F•U.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Elle Diabla ()
Date: April 03, 2010 11:19PM

So much hatred from anon pussies!

Trannies are God's children, too!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: thedogatemyhomework ()
Date: April 04, 2010 09:55AM

Elle Diabla Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So much hatred from anon pussies!
>
> Trannies are God's children, too!


Actually Krystal is probably the spawn of Satan.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: LongDongSilver ()
Date: April 04, 2010 11:44PM

thedogatemyhomework Wrote:
>Actually Krystal is probably the spawn of Satan.


I would say you are correct, but Satan is a raging homosexual.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Gary ()
Date: May 07, 2010 07:54AM

Jolian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all
> those car commercials for local Koons dealers)


I went to Falls Church store and looked at a Ford Ranger it was around Noon, I told the salesman I would think about it over lunch, He told me they have lunch an offer me a ham sandwich and said would you like mustard and or mayo! Came With chips and soda. She dose make good sandwich.
I will never forget that day & they won I purchased the Ranger no WOW pricing then
It was invoice.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ruffyy ()
Date: May 20, 2010 08:51AM

Travis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who are you calling a koon? There is no need for
> racial slurs on this board.


I'll bet the Koons family changed their name from Koontz to Koons. Are they from the Amish section of Pennsylvania. The name Koons doesn't see like much of a great change. I'll bet they might have been the brunt of the Coon slur. I'd rather be a Koontz than a koons.

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: ruffyy ()
Date: May 20, 2010 08:58AM

Travis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who are you calling a koon? There is no need for
> racial slurs on this board.


How do they record Crystals voice. It always looks like the voice and the mouth are not in synch and the voice seems fake, fake, fake. I saw a commercial today and her eyes look like coyote eyes. Scary!!!!

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: May 20, 2010 08:58AM

I think Koons is appropriate. They're cheap, will give you something that you'll end up paying for the rest of your life when they screw you, and never call you back when you ask for help or for them to step up and take responsibility for what they've given you.

----------------------------------------------------

Who is Gonads & Strife?
Outing on FFU: I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all Robert Paulson...or Eesh...or Eli...
Attachments:
thats_racist.gif

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Re: who exactly is Crystal Koons? (the female in all those car commercials for local Koons dealers)
Posted by: jimbo1001 ()
Date: May 22, 2010 01:13PM

She scares me. She is not an attractive woman. She is really very very scary looking. She looks like someone dug up a corpse crossed it with Skeletor then found a mortician who tried to make it look presentable for a wake. The commercials could really use a new spokesperson.

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