I have a family member who has been struggling with acoholism for the better part of a decade. He's a grown man (30) has a good stable job and is otherwise loved by all. Over the past 2 years he's gone off the deep end twice. He would go missing for 3-4 days go and a drinking binge and show up as if everything is normal. the first time he checked into A.A. The second time he self medicated. I haven't heard from this family member in 6 days. He's clearly on one of his binges. Or he may simply be dead in a hotel room somewhere. So why am I posting this on FFX UNDERGROUND? Well as f*cked up as all of us our - I'm figuring someone would be able to give me some advice on how to stop from going crazy worrying about him. I'm literally at a loss as to what to do.

Well I don't know if you are for real or not, FFXunderground being what it is, but if you are for real, it might be a good idea to at least call the non-emergency hotline to get advice about how to deal with a missing person. They may recommend notifying the police. If something bad has happened, i.e. dead in a hotel, you will inevitably need them anyway. If this turns out to be nothing, they will treat it like nothing, with little if any police involvement.

I know how you can get him to come back. It involves setting up this simple trap:



Make sure you use Jack Daniel's, not tea or apple juice as he will most likely detect your ruse.

http://www.alanonva.com/

Celebrate.

I would look for him on Showtime's Shameless, most likely with Frank at the Alibi.

any update, OP?

Someone I know had a habbit of disappearing and going to DC gettig plenty of liquor, a hotel rm., hookers and crack. One weekend he took off and when he came back 8 days later he cried about spending 9 grand and never went back to work, lost his house and eventually got so depressed he drank himself to death.

I'm still in shock from his death last week because when he was sober he was such a likeable person.

As soon as you do find him, please consider some type of family intervention.

I can't help you with the worrying part obviously. It's possible the worry you feel now will serve as motivation to take action when he turns up.

I do sincerely feel for you and hope this ends on a positive note.

Any update on this? I am hoping that your family member has turned up.

I have a habit of leaving town without telling anyone. I sometimes drive a few hours away rent a hotel room for a couple of days in a rural town and just sit back and watch tv or read a book. I dont drink or smoke pot I just chill. Some are built for the stress of this area, I am not one of them. My GF at first thought I was cheating on her but she has come to understand my quirk. Only happens a few times a year.

It aggravates my relatives but I cant help myself. They dont call the cops because they are used to it by now. I have never met anyone else having this issue but I have read about college kids just going off the radar when they cant hack the course load.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been there with my ex. Call the police and maybe local hospitals. Pray, keep busy. Maybe this will be his bottom where he will consider rehab. But don't put pressure on yourself that you have to fix him. He has to be willing to accept help. Good luck.

Wait till Tuesday. He is just celebrating the green early.

What Todo Wrote:
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> Celebrate.


And with the drunk gone, you'll have more booze to celebrate with. Win-win!

Depending on how close you are to this person, you might have access to his financial accounts (bank, credit cards, cell phone, etc.). Access the accounts and examine the activity. Example: an ATM withdrawl provides date, time, and location. Several over time, tells you direction of travel.

So did Congressman Moran come home yet?

I suggest you attend an Al-Anon meeting. They are very helpful with the feelings you have about your relative. There is another group called Families Anonymous which caters to parents of addicts.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/more-questions-newcomers-ask

http://www.familiesanonymousva.com/locations.php

You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.

Jazzy Juice Wrote:
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> I have a family member who has been struggling
> with acoholism for the better part of a decade.
> He's a grown man (30) has a good stable job and is
> otherwise loved by all. Over the past 2 years he's
> gone off the deep end twice. He would go missing
> for 3-4 days go and a drinking binge and show up
> as if everything is normal. the first time he
> checked into A.A. The second time he self
> medicated. I haven't heard from this family member
> in 6 days. He's clearly on one of his binges. Or
> he may simply be dead in a hotel room somewhere.
> So why am I posting this on FFX UNDERGROUND? Well
> as f*cked up as all of us our - I'm figuring
> someone would be able to give me some advice on
> how to stop from going crazy worrying about him.
> I'm literally at a loss as to what to do.


I'm guessing this didn't end well...

Maybe check the woods in Sissonville WV - he may be out four-wheelin with the Buckwild Crew.

Maybe's he's in a messican whorehouse in Sterling getting laid for $30 a pop and getting hammerred 24/7

Thanks for everyone's concern. He showed up. Police found him drunk off his ass in a hotel room in PWC. They took him to a local hospital and he checked into their Detox center for a week. Came home got drunk again and ended up missing once more for a week. He finally checked into a in patient treatment center last Friday.

I like to drink - but alcoholism is a b*tch. Turns out the dude blew through all of his life savings, as well as that of others. What is fucking wrong with these fuckers!?

Thank goodness he's a Democrat Congressman or he would lose his job

I would take out a life insurance policy on him ASAP. You might as well get paid when he finally kills himself and you end up paying the expenses to bury him.

LetsRock Wrote:
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> I would take out a life insurance policy on him
> ASAP. You might as well get paid when he finally
> kills himself and you end up paying the expenses
> to bury him.


+1

Please post asap regarding evictions/yard sales.

Are you helping him or hurting him?

Do you really think someone likes to be an out of control drunk?

I hope your life is always so easy and perfect.

Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot you can do unless this guy decides for himself that he wants to quit drinking. The trap I have seen over and over again is that family members try to punish or negotiate or otherwise pressure the alcoholic to stop drinking.

It won’t work. What you’re likely to do is get them to go to greater lengths to HIDE their use. They may even stop altogether on days that they know they can’t drink without getting caught (by their wife, job, family) but make no mistake about it; as soon as he gets a chance he’ll be back at it.

He’s got to see the consequences for himself and decide that he wants to stop, not simply hide it better.

1 don’t enable him – read up on the term “enable” if you don’t know what it means. It’s VERY important
2 Go to Al Anon and learn about addiction. You’re NOT the first person to have this problem. They can help.