I wish I could tell mine that he is not an intern, he's a paid employee and therefore needs to actually work rather than goofing off all day. I also would like to tell him to stop pouncing on leftover food from every meeting (even ones that have nothing to do with him). Finally, I would like to tell him to stop taking the snacks and K cups my office provides home in his backpack. So tacky.

Take a bath.

Wash your clothes.

Brush your teeth.

Call the dentist.

Buy your own pack of cigs.

STFU and get back to work.

Stop asking me to borrow money. When I say "no' for 6 weeks straight, don't you get the idea I don't lend money?

Stop asking me to buy the crap your kid is selling for school-not interested.

Why is it nobody comes in here when I'm doing my job, but just let me Google some porno and everybody's suddenly interested in what I'm doing.