Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's a bowelache
>
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
> It's a bowelache
> Nothing but a bowelache
> Hits you when it's too late
> You better hope your pants are down
>
> It's a stool's game
> Nothing but a stools game
> Shitting out a brown rain
> Feeling like a clown
>
> It's a bowelache
> Nothing but a bowelache
> You think your gonna drop a brown snake
> Then your starfish lets you down
>
> It ain't right is what you swear
> After you softly say a prayer
> It ain't good to come undone
> Unless your depends are on you
I thought you guys were not scat fetishists. Seems like you are to me. Not against the law but own what you are. You like poop and discussing poop. You probably like doing things with your own poop and other people's poop as well.
Groan Throne starfish, locomotive-sized movement. There gave you some kibble...
Dude its a song, from our award winning composer mister Bravo.
If talk of starfish and basketball sized defecations, change the channel, as my mother used to say. Even if that was two radio stations on the AM band.
How are your bowels? My guess with your probing arrogance is superior.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: May 21, 2016 03:18PM
Beer and brats. Not a good combo. Just should not have.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 21, 2016 03:24PM
muddyFlower Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It's a bowelache
> >
> > by, Jhonny Bravo
> >
> >
> > It's a bowelache
> > Nothing but a bowelache
> > Hits you when it's too late
> > You better hope your pants are down
> >
> > It's a stool's game
> > Nothing but a stools game
> > Shitting out a brown rain
> > Feeling like a clown
> >
> > It's a bowelache
> > Nothing but a bowelache
> > You think your gonna drop a brown snake
> > Then your starfish lets you down
> >
> > It ain't right is what you swear
> > After you softly say a prayer
> > It ain't good to come undone
> > Unless your depends are on you
>
> I thought you guys were not scat fetishists.
> Seems like you are to me. Not against the law but
> own what you are. You like poop and discussing
> poop. You probably like doing things with your
> own poop and other people's poop as well.
>
> Groan Throne starfish, locomotive-sized movement.
> There gave you some kibble...
Hey don't forget these,
assquake – bake brownies – blast – blow mud – blow up (one's) bathroom – blumpkin – blumpy – bolt – build a log cabin – burn a mule – bust a dook – bust a grumpie – bust a grumpy – code brown – coil one – coil some rope – crank an Eight Ball – crap – crap factory – crunch – cut rope – deuce – do a poo – doo-doo – dook – download – driver eight – drop a bomb – drop a coil – drop a deuce – drop a dookie – drop a hot bomb – drop a load – drop a log – drop deuces – drop kids off at the pool – drop (one's) guts – drop some bait – drop some friends off at the lake – drop some friends off at the pool – drop some wolf bait – drop the bomb – drop the deuce – drop the kids off – drop the kids off at the pool – drop trout – drop wolf bait – duke it out – dump – D-up – empty (one's) bowels – evacuate – expel the hamster – free the turtles – get a turtle – give birth to a food baby – give birth to a state trooper – go number 2 – go number two – grease the bowl – grow a tail – grumpy – hang a rat – hang a root – have a core dump – Hershey squirt – launch an ass rocket – lay a loaf – lay a pipeline – lay cable – lay hot snakes – lay pipe – lay some cable – lay wolf bait – log out – make a delivery – make a deposit – make a poopie – park a custard – pich a loaf – piledriver – pinch a loaf – pinch one off – pitch a log – play with Mr. Hanky – poo – poop – poo-poo – pop a squat – punch a dook – push brown – push out a grumpy – release the chocolate hostage – relieve (one's) bowels – ride the porcelain bus – rock a deuce – see a man about a dog – send a fax – shart – shart (one's self) – sharts, the – shit – shit (one's self) – shit the bed – smash – smear the bowl – squat a grump – squeeze a Hershey's kiss – squeeze a steamer – squeeze out a Cleveland steamer – S, S & S – stock the lake with brown trout – take a – take a chat – take a crap – take a crunch – take a deuce – take a dook – take a dookie – take a duke – take a dump – take a poop – take a shit – take a smash – take a squish – take the Browns to the Superbowl – talk some shit to John – talk to a man about a mule – throw the deuce – torque a wicked cable – touch cloth – upper decker – visit Uncle Grumpy
Diced feel better. Remember that's your bowels overriding your brain.
Dive great list. Which is your favorite and how are your bowels?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 21, 2016 04:02PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced feel better. Remember that's your bowels
> overriding your brain.
>
> Dive great list. Which is your favorite and how
> are your bowels?
I really like, "take the Browns to the Superbowl"
bowels are okay, thanks Brown. We toured 4 homes this morning and other than a couple SBD's my ass was under control. Mrs Dive wants to rent a redbox movie and watch it in the hotel room tonight and she wants to order pizza. I will (sadly) get a salad as I cant risk bowel trouble on the road tomorrow. How are your bowels today?
Oh man dive. Yes our bowels have the same success rate and negro quarterback as the Browns do.
I'm sorry about your salad. Such is our lives but good luck on the house hunt.
Less wetbacks down there, more good solid white people, so hopefully your bowels survive.
Going to be popping out an anvil shortly.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
preacher man2
()
Date: May 21, 2016 05:42PM
St. Bonaventure Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The five most constipated people in the Bible: 1.
> Cain-who wasn't able. 2. King Solomon-who sat on
> the throne for forty years. 3. King David-who
> neither Heaven nor Earth could move. 4. Moses-who
> took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
> 5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark
> and passed nothing but water.
This made me lol! God bless all you who bear the cross of intestinal challenge.
preacher man2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> St. Bonaventure Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The five most constipated people in the Bible:
> 1.
> > Cain-who wasn't able. 2. King Solomon-who sat
> on
> > the throne for forty years. 3. King David-who
> > neither Heaven nor Earth could move. 4.
> Moses-who
> > took two tablets and went up into the
> mountains.
> > 5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the
> ark
> > and passed nothing but water.
>
>
> This made me lol! God bless all you who bear the
> cross of intestinal challenge.
Thank you and especially for the pastoral blessing.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Dave Johns
()
Date: May 21, 2016 09:38PM
We are lucky as Yanks. Some other countries I've been to have a hole you spread eagle over. In East Europe, it's not unusual to have to pay 25 cents for a stall, a hole, and maybe two pieces of TP. One time a rat walked by my feet as I was going #2.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Plumbing innovations
()
Date: May 22, 2016 08:14AM
The intelligence toilet is now available for those of you that are obsessed with elimination. The women oriented toilet analyzes urine and collects data of one’s body temperature and hormone balance information, helping them (women) keep track of their menstruation cycle.
Attachments:
Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> We are lucky as Yanks. Some other countries I've
> been to have a hole you spread eagle over. In East
> Europe, it's not unusual to have to pay 25 cents
> for a stall, a hole, and maybe two pieces of TP.
> One time a rat walked by my feet as I was going
> #2.
Very true. When I was in Nam I had to crap in holes or where slant eyes could shoot me as I allowed my bowels to open up and get personal.
Plumbing innovations Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The intelligence toilet is now available for those
> of you that are obsessed with elimination. The
> women oriented toilet analyzes urine and collects
> data of one’s body temperature and hormone
> balance information, helping them (women) keep
> track of their menstruation cycle.
Not sure about obsession with elimination, but does it have a built in Bristol Stool Device?
What is this talk of "obsession with elimination"?
I hardly think having anxiety over the anticipation of the pain of passing a size 13 Air Jordan through a size 6 Schphinkter, qualifies as an obsession.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That picture does speak horrifying volumes.
>
> Still icing my poor starfish.
It's cold indifference and attachment to nothing but the floor,
Leave me feeling detached as I grind one out that's far too large.
My bowels are like a creaky hamster wheel
That hasn't had WD40 for years.
Like a cold serpent my groan throne sits quietly
As I scream and sweat like a trapped wild animal.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 23, 2016 07:59AM
Got back from our trip yesterday and stopped at bochon to get some spicy chicken legs. This should be interesting. Those legs were tasty but now I need to lay some eggs or maybe a whole chicken.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: May 23, 2016 08:53AM
Has anyone heard about the Slovak festival in Annandale? I think it's next weekend. It might the foods help people.
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just bombed porclanistan. It was about a number
> 2 number 2.
>
> Messy but it brought sweet relief!
>
> Those spicy Korean fried drumsticks from bonchon
> are so damn good yet so bad in other ways.
Bon Chon is the bastion of bowel battering. Aside from the anal doc of course.
Dive, do you need midwives or Emergency Services in place?
I'm afraid your bathroom is going to look like, the one when Danny Glover had bombs on his groan throne, courtesy of the apartheid loving South Africans.
Please keep us posted, and certainly consider praying the rosary for your poor bowels. They have got to be churning and frothing like a rabid animal.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 23, 2016 05:51PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I just bombed porclanistan. It was about a
> number
> > 2 number 2.
> >
> > Messy but it brought sweet relief!
> >
> > Those spicy Korean fried drumsticks from
> bonchon
> > are so damn good yet so bad in other ways.
>
>
> Bon Chon is the bastion of bowel battering. Aside
> from the anal doc of course.
>
> Dive, do you need midwives or Emergency Services
> in place?
>
> I'm afraid your bathroom is going to look like,
> the one when Danny Glover had bombs on his groan
> throne, courtesy of the apartheid loving South
> Africans.
>
> Please keep us posted, and certainly consider
> praying the rosary for your poor bowels. They have
> got to be churning and frothing like a rabid
> animal.
Im okay brown. I'll take the squirts over a logjam any day. Mrs Dive just made me a grilled cheese on rye and brought me iced gatorade. How are you doing buddy?
That seems a reasonable choice. Does Mrs. Dive have a sister, because even though I'm old, I desire spending time with a woman other than Matilda who is sympathetic to bowel problems.
My asshole brother Clarence was correct. Gatorade can help but have you had XXX vitamin water with pomengranate? I think this leads to less clothes pins and slightly smaller SUV sized loads.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: May 23, 2016 08:13PM
Brown and crew,
More good stuff to read. I'm sorry you continue to deal with this but you are good guys.
Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown and crew,
>
> More good stuff to read. I'm sorry you continue to
> deal with this but you are good guys.
Thank you bowel buddy.
Our red rectums and shakes seeing anal docs are known. But we must carry on with our sore asses.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
expelling impacted feces
()
Date: May 24, 2016 07:43AM
The midwife thing is funny because sometimes while having a bowel movement one needs to strain. In some cases, like when one is constipated, the straining can be a real effort. When this happens, the act of expelling impacted feces from your rectum might seem a lot like the action of pushing during child birth. So by mentioning 'midwives' you allude to the extreme nature of the pushing and effort to complete the bowel movement. You see its like your movement is so difficult it's like a woman giving birth to a child.
also poop, groan throne*, starfish and of course groan throne*.
* see previous explanation of humor behind (pun intended) 'groan throne.'
expelling impacted feces Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The midwife thing is funny because sometimes while
> having a bowel movement one needs to strain. In
> some cases, like when one is constipated, the
> straining can be a real effort. When this
> happens, the act of expelling impacted feces from
> your rectum might seem a lot like the action of
> pushing during child birth. So by mentioning
> 'midwives' you allude to the extreme nature of the
> pushing and effort to complete the bowel movement.
> You see its like your movement is so difficult
> it's like a woman giving birth to a child.
>
> also poop, groan throne*, starfish and of course
> groan throne*.
>
> * see previous explanation of humor behind (pun
> intended) 'groan throne.'
And how are your bowels? My midwives can be of help.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: May 24, 2016 09:36AM
I should not have had the pizza. It's olives black onions and feta were good. But now I know it's going to be pain.
Afternoon BiBs! Been too busy to post for a bit, but did get take out after working late one night last week. Good thing I was home and near the porcelain convenience as I think I only rented that food. "Explosive" it was. Silver lining was the completely empty feeling afterward. Been back to #4#2s since, thank god.
Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Afternoon BiBs! Been too busy to post for a bit,
> but did get take out after working late one night
> last week. Good thing I was home and near the
> porcelain convenience as I think I only rented
> that food. "Explosive" it was. Silver lining was
> the completely empty feeling afterward. Been back
> to #4#2s since, thank god.
Good to have you back brother in bowel. Was starting to worry about you, and glad after some misfirings and O Ring issues, your bowels are back in working order.
It's a shame our bowels sometimes let us down, like a shit filled balloon losing helium.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Luclutus
()
Date: May 24, 2016 04:01PM
Explosive bowels
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 24, 2016 05:49PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That seems a reasonable choice. Does Mrs. Dive
> have a sister, because even though I'm old, I
> desire spending time with a woman other than
> Matilda who is sympathetic to bowel problems.
>
> My asshole brother Clarence was correct. Gatorade
> can help but have you had XXX vitamin water with
> pomengranate? I think this leads to less clothes
> pins and slightly smaller SUV sized loads.
Sorry Brown, Mrs Dive is one of a kind. I will give the XXX water a try. Mrs Dive is away on a business trip and she left me with a refrigerator full of bowel friendly foods but I have the Pappa Johns menu in my hand and I am weak. Thinking about getting a steak and mushroom pizza delivered.
She's definitely the Hope Diamond in brown dive. You are a lucky man, as the constant screams and various aromas, that's a lot to contend with.
Plus that pizza order. Ragtime is playing at the Kennedy Center, that food choice might cause bloody bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: May 25, 2016 05:02AM
Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy has the liquid brown shits right now, possibly related to a bacon steak and extra cheese sub that 5am guy ate yesterday. Thank you all for your service to sufferers everywhere!
5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in here. 5am guy has the
> liquid brown shits right now, possibly related to
> a bacon steak and extra cheese sub that 5am guy
> ate yesterday. Thank you all for your service to
> sufferers everywhere!
Feel better 5 am. Its been awhile since you posted, but here's to your bowels doing great.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
strain game
()
Date: May 25, 2016 06:25AM
Just take this stuff,,,, problem solved ,,duh,
Attachments:
I believe strain is anon dick. Quackery at its finest.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
poopinpoopout
()
Date: May 25, 2016 08:21AM
you people eat shit food all the time and complain. Its funny to think about your suffering being caused by the fact you are grownups and have no idea what to put in your bodies. Pizza, fast food, processed food - no wonder your shit is toxic.
You know what to do and you dont. You like having bowel misery so that you can talk about it here. Pooping is what, 4 minutes a day and you make it into an obsession.
poopinpoopout Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> you people eat shit food all the time and
> complain. Its funny to think about your suffering
> being caused by the fact you are grownups and have
> no idea what to put in your bodies. Pizza, fast
> food, processed food - no wonder your shit is
> toxic.
>
> You know what to do and you dont. You like having
> bowel misery so that you can talk about it here.
> Pooping is what, 4 minutes a day and you make it
> into an obsession.
Once again another superior bowel person, trying to divide and conquer the brown.
Your shit is old. Stop harassing those of us with sore fish.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
GTFO LOSER
()
Date: May 25, 2016 11:13AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> poopinpoopout Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > you people eat shit food all the time and
> > complain. Its funny to think about your
> suffering
> > being caused by the fact you are grownups and
> have
> > no idea what to put in your bodies. Pizza,
> fast
> > food, processed food - no wonder your shit is
> > toxic.
> >
> > You know what to do and you dont. You like
> having
> > bowel misery so that you can talk about it here.
>
> > Pooping is what, 4 minutes a day and you make
> it
> > into an obsession.
>
>
> Once again another superior bowel person, trying
> to divide and conquer the brown.
>
> Your shit is old. Stop harassing those of us with
> sore fish.
You're a fake troll, mocking a serioua health issue in between making racial slurs. Go fuck yourself, you piis poor shitty troll.
My BM this morning took 4 min 2 sec including hand washing. Whats the big deal?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
racial slurs?
()
Date: May 25, 2016 12:10PM
GTFO LOSER Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > poopinpoopout Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > you people eat shit food all the time and
> > > complain. Its funny to think about your
> > suffering
> > > being caused by the fact you are grownups and
> > have
> > > no idea what to put in your bodies. Pizza,
> > fast
> > > food, processed food - no wonder your shit is
> > > toxic.
> > >
> > > You know what to do and you dont. You like
> > having
> > > bowel misery so that you can talk about it
> here.
> >
> > > Pooping is what, 4 minutes a day and you make
> > it
> > > into an obsession.
> >
> >
> > Once again another superior bowel person,
> trying
> > to divide and conquer the brown.
> >
> > Your shit is old. Stop harassing those of us
> with
> > sore fish.
>
> You're a fake troll, mocking a serioua health
> issue in between making racial slurs. Go fuck
> yourself, you piis poor shitty troll.
racial slurs? wtf?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: May 25, 2016 12:38PM
Brown doesn't need you to tear him a new asshole, that's already been done. Just enjoy other threads or whatever.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Supporter
()
Date: May 25, 2016 02:06PM
Asshole! Brown Onion and the people here aren't racist. They have a Health problem. So shut up!
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When we talk about "Brown" around here, we aren't
> speaking of skin color.
Absolutely and bowel problems affect all. Even savages from Central America, who eat iguana with pineapple.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 25, 2016 05:10PM
Oh my the leakage thing is back. Thankfully I do not need to leave the house for several days. I am packing my crack with soft tissues infused with lotion. Mrs Dive got me several boxes of them when she found out I was using paper towels.
How are the BiB's doing today?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 25, 2016 06:49PM
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh my the leakage thing is back. Thankfully I do
> not need to leave the house for several days. I am
> packing my crack with soft tissues infused with
> lotion. Mrs Dive got me several boxes of them when
> she found out I was using paper towels.
> How are the BiB's doing today?
User name dive bomber,
I cannot recommend enough seeing a board certified GI. They can provide you with a prescription.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 25, 2016 07:22PM
Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Oh my the leakage thing is back. Thankfully I
> do
> > not need to leave the house for several days. I
> am
> > packing my crack with soft tissues infused with
> > lotion. Mrs Dive got me several boxes of them
> when
> > she found out I was using paper towels.
> > How are the BiB's doing today?
>
>
> User name dive bomber,
>
> I cannot recommend enough seeing a board certified
> GI. They can provide you with a prescription.
I did that twice doc. The "treatment" is ten times worse than the "cure".
I got lots of expensive treatment but zero "cure".
Thanks for your concern but You have no credibility.
Dive agreed anon dick is like that creepy man in the movie Hostel.
He probably eats his food with his unwashed hands, and then enters his torture chamber to punish the bowel trodden.
His "doctors " are snake oil salesmen.
I'm glad that Mrs. Dive got you proper starfish material, and I'm sorry you are leaking.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
5 am guy
()
Date: May 26, 2016 04:59AM
Hello all! 5am guy checking in again. Thank God 5am guy's bowels are back under control. 5am guy was just reading about user name Anon doc. That guy is a insensitive cock.
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Lhx9C
()
Date: May 26, 2016 06:59AM
try Kefir you dummies. After 6 weeks your bowels will have normal gut bacteria assuming you dont pound alcohol, Advil, coffee and energy drinks.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
I workout and eat well
()
Date: May 26, 2016 09:14AM
3 min 20 seconds this morning. once a day easy as pie. What are you all eating???
I sincerely hope everyone's bowels are alright today.
This morning after a night stuck to the groan throne, my poor starfish opened up to deliver a Trump sized shit that I'm convinced cut into my 33 feet of intestines.
Dear starfish twinkle you might for most, but with me I'm afraid you got the short end of the stick. It's with sadness. If I could write a Hallmark card and address it to my rectum I would.
Instead it's battered bowels, biting on leather straps, sweating and animal like screams.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: May 27, 2016 12:34PM
You pussies are still bitchinhg about your sore asses? Geez!!
Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A safe and happy Memorial Day Weekend to all the
> BiBs out there! Here's wishing all of you #4#2s
> this weekend.
Indeed and to you also deadly. May our brothers in brown just like the fallen. Lest we forget.
Epsom salt, ice packs, Castor oil, and gauze are part of my Memorial Day supplies.
Most people take for granted their bowels can annihilate those burgers and dogs on the grill, while the bowel trodden would have a medical examiner on hand just in case.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 27, 2016 04:32PM
My neighbors invited us to a cookout to wish us well as the moving truck comes next week and we are out of here. My neighbor told me she is going to make homemade German potato salad, a family recipe passed down through the generations. I guess to be polite I will have to eat some and I'm sure it's wonderful but OMG the aftermath! It scares the shit out of me.
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My neighbors invited us to a cookout to wish us
> well as the moving truck comes next week and we
> are out of here. My neighbor told me she is going
> to make homemade German potato salad, a family
> recipe passed down through the generations. I
> guess to be polite I will have to eat some and I'm
> sure it's wonderful but OMG the aftermath! It
> scares the shit out of me.
>
> I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
You too dive. German potatoes might be okay as Hitler/Shitler had IBS.
I just wish Matilda's pain and screaming could stop.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 28, 2016 07:22AM
Packers from the moving company will be here in a couple hours. In the meantime something is packed up in my ass. No way I can drop a bomb while multiple people are working in the house. Looks like I may have to use the camping toilet in the barn unless I can somehow drop my butt payload soon.
Send my best wishes to Matilda, Brown.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Jhonny Bravo
()
Date: May 28, 2016 09:31AM
Bloody Ass
sung to the tune of Blondie's "Heart of glass"
by, Jhonny Bravo
Once I took a dump and it was a gas, soon turned out
I had a bloody ass
Seen me a doctor only to find
Mucho mistrust.
Took my copay and left a pain in my behind
Once I had a big stool it was divine.
Soon found out my starfish was borderline
I saw me another doctor but I was so blind.
Mucho mistrust.
Took my copay and left a pain in my behind
In between "what I find is dis-pleasing" and "I'm feeling fine",
IBS is so confusing.
There's no peace of mind
These doctors keep on probing you.
It's just no good these doc's teasing like they do.
Thank you dive. Good luck with both forms of packing.
And kudos for Mr Bravo. Those were the days my bowels worked for the most part.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Local Medic
()
Date: May 28, 2016 09:57AM
I'm sure you throne commanders know this, but I thought I'd throw it out there just as a friendly reminder for the holiday weekend. I'm a local paramedic and we run a decent amount of code browns.
Don't strain. Ever. If that biscuit is not ready to swim to the county plant, don't push it. Straining causes pressure - sometimes intense pressure - on the vagus nerve and several other key spots that can cause you to put yourself into an arrythmia. Unwitnessed arrythmias at 3am on the shitter result in us being called at 7am (or 4 days later) to remove a chilly dude from between the wall and the shitter.
I thank you for writing, and hope you'll feel welcome to post anything bowel related here.
Yet don't you think the clothes pins on noses is a bit insensitive?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: May 28, 2016 11:36AM
The car cleaning people want $400 USD. Outrageous!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Local Medic
()
Date: May 28, 2016 11:49AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Agreed medic.
>
> I thank you for writing, and hope you'll feel
> welcome to post anything bowel related here.
>
> Yet don't you think the clothes pins on noses is a
> bit insensitive?
Ive been to your house already. You're the guy who sticks small live animals partially up his ass for pleasure and then calls us when they get stuck in there. How is your cat these days?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
dive bomber
()
Date: May 28, 2016 12:28PM
I got my beloved 1970s water wasting canary yellow American standard toilet and asked the packers to pack it in multiple layers of bubble wrap so I can have it installed in my new home. The packers looked at me like I was insane. These 1.6 gallon flush toilets that they make today just suck compared to old yeller.
Our new house has a rough-in for a basement bath. I think it is against plumbing codes to use a 3 gallon flush toilet on a new installation but I will have to get around that somehow.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Diced Onion
()
Date: May 28, 2016 03:11PM
I'm hoping the burgers and brats aren't too bad this time.
Local Medic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Agreed medic.
> >
> > I thank you for writing, and hope you'll feel
> > welcome to post anything bowel related here.
> >
> > Yet don't you think the clothes pins on noses is
> a
> > bit insensitive?
>
> Ive been to your house already. You're the guy who
> sticks small live animals partially up his ass for
> pleasure and then calls us when they get stuck in
> there. How is your cat these days?
What on earth are you talking about?
Once again those with superior bowels, whether civilian or paid for our taxes EMS, shows disdain for the bowel trodden.
Don't they send you wannabe doctors and adrenaline junkies/potential arsonists to sensitivity training?
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I got my beloved 1970s water wasting canary yellow
> American standard toilet and asked the packers to
> pack it in multiple layers of bubble wrap so I can
> have it installed in my new home. The packers
> looked at me like I was insane. These 1.6 gallon
> flush toilets that they make today just suck
> compared to old yeller.
> Our new house has a rough-in for a basement bath.
> I think it is against plumbing codes to use a 3
> gallon flush toilet on a new installation but I
> will have to get around that somehow.
Sorly I missed this dive, just irritated by local medics asshole mentality, and it's just been one of those weekends.
You should be able to use that groan throne. If not I'd immediately have a lawyer file an Americans with Disabilities lawsuit.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 29, 2016 08:55AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I got my beloved 1970s water wasting canary
> yellow
> > American standard toilet and asked the packers
> to
> > pack it in multiple layers of bubble wrap so I
> can
> > have it installed in my new home. The packers
> > looked at me like I was insane. These 1.6
> gallon
> > flush toilets that they make today just suck
> > compared to old yeller.
> > Our new house has a rough-in for a basement
> bath.
> > I think it is against plumbing codes to use a 3
> > gallon flush toilet on a new installation but I
> > will have to get around that somehow.
>
>
> Sorly I missed this dive, just irritated by local
> medics asshole mentality, and it's just been one
> of those weekends.
>
> You should be able to use that groan throne. If
> not I'd immediately have a lawyer file an
> Americans with Disabilities lawsuit.
Patently false. Absurd to even misconstrue the ADA to this magnitude.
A lot of my colleagues in the past were veterans, and I'd like to thank them and all for their service.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Local Medic
()
Date: May 29, 2016 09:09AM
I'm the original poster from yesterday morning. Not sure who posted the followup bullshit with the cat - some fuckbag I guess. Hope you guys have a great holiday weekend.
Local Medic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm the original poster from yesterday morning.
> Not sure who posted the followup bullshit with the
> cat - some fuckbag I guess. Hope you guys have a
> great holiday weekend.
You too and sorry if I overreacted, as many paramedics have been kind to me and my sister when our bowels have problems.
Can you share some bowel adventures? Also I didn't mean to say all paramedics wear clothes pins on their noses. Do some stations follow different procedures for bowel calls?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Local Medic
()
Date: May 29, 2016 11:50AM
We never really explicitly get bowel calls.
Something stuck up inside there - like a foreign object that they can't retrieve themselves - would be an "injury" call. We don't fetch that stuff. It's not in our protocol to try. We just take them to the ER and they take it from there...not really much we can do on those. The vast majority of those arrive directly in the ER as they don't want any more people involved than absolutely necessary. Lest 10 of us taking turns looking up the guys ass and saying "yep, it's way up in there".
For someone that can't shit or has projectile shitting or excessive blood or rainbow shits - those would be dispatched as a "sickness call". On those we just check vitals and make sure they aren't dying any time soon and offer a trip to the ER. If they have other issues like chest pain or shortness of breath we deal with that.
Probably the best shit stories we have are the times when we are lifting someone and they let loose. I've seen that about a dozen times. The more time you've been in the dept, the more you can see the likelihood of that happening and you strategically position yourself - usually near the door and be ready to say "I've got to get something from the unit" at the moment the patient is in the max strain position being helped by others.
You are definitely a bowel buddy, as that last scenario is a sticky situation.
Also thank you, as no doubt the people who put items in their bowels, might finally be a bit more cautious of what dangers lurk. It's unfortunate you have to see people who think of their bowels as a means of entertainment, rather than for their already important work.
Glad to know when Matilda or I have paramedics and or firefighters at our house, it's a injury call. That alone is true as our bowels are no different than our arms, legs, or other body part.
The rectum is that part of the bowel leading to the anus, the opening stool passes through to move outside the body. Any object inserted or present in the rectum or anus should be removed to prevent serious complications.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 29, 2016 02:06PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> From WebMD:
>
> The rectum is that part of the bowel leading to
> the anus, the opening stool passes through to move
> outside the body. Any object inserted or present
> in the rectum or anus should be removed to prevent
> serious complications.
Yes please listen to user name BEH. He gets his information off of the World Wide Web.