Optimistic Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Starting to feel the buildup from last nights
> > felectables. They were good foods made by white
> > people, but ultimately even the safest
> vegetable
> > casserole is going to turn into brown jambalaya
> or
> > a basketball of rather inflated size.
> >
> > Tonight is to be a relaxing night. Will pray
> for
> > my innards and the starfish but the pain will
> be
> > severe.
>
> Hopefully you burst a blood vessel in your low IQ
> brain trying to shit, you racist fucktard.


A little bitter are we? If it makes you feel better my bowels have not exploded yet, but here's to my giving a rats ass about your whiny bitching. How do you stop black guys from raping a woman? Throw them a basketball.

Merry Christmas to all! Enjoy a holiday feast like this!
Attachments:

Spinning signz got bunz out walking streetz bayz in bayz fun just a few dollarz

santa onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Merry Christmas to all! Enjoy a holiday feast like
> this!


That while looking delicious would cause problems.

That looks like a nice spread Santa Onion. Unfortunately while tasty the size of elves dropped would diminish the trimmings pleasure immediately.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Optimistic Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:Brown Onion Wrote:

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
a nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spreada nice spread

Racism and disgusting pictures - this thread has it all

My dad is wearing nipple tassels and has a brown stinky substance on his pearly whites. I think he might have some issues. The back of his underwears are red and there's a container of Astroglide on the bed. My mom has been yelling at him all morning.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad is wearing nipple tassels and has a brown
> stinky substance on his pearly whites. I think he
> might have some issues. The back of his underwears
> are red and there's a container of Astroglide on
> the bed. My mom has been yelling at him all
> morning.

Dear impersonator not funny!

Another Christmas party to go to. Will get my shoes shined by some Somalian butt pirate for fifty cents. Actually because he has to endure my pre launch fumes it might be a dollar.

Christmas is a fun time, but for those of us with bowel problems, the USS Maersk is a distinctive possibility.

Hi BiB's! Happy holidays to you all!

I have to go to work soon as JMU is hosting a football game today and I am working with traffic and parking control. There is already plenty of tailgating going on all around campus. People are out in the cold cooking burgers, sausages, chicken and pork products behind their vehicles. The college has placed portable toilets all over the place and they will be getting a workout today! We always end up with a few drunken brawls that have to be dealt with by the police and state police come in to help the campus police. Mrs Dive is out setting up our grill near the stadium security office and she is cooking for the police officers today.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another Christmas party to go to. Will get my
> shoes shined by some Somalian butt pirate for
> fifty cents. Actually because he has to endure my
> pre launch fumes it might be a dollar.
>
> Christmas is a fun time, but for those of us with
> bowel problems, the USS Maersk is a distinctive
> possibility.


Don’t forget to wash out your old cunt as well.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
more pics plsmore pics plsmore pics plsmore pics plsmore pics plsmore pics plsmore pics pls

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad is wearing nipple tassels and has a brown
> stinky substance on his pearly whites. I think he
> might have some issues. The back of his underwears
> are red and there's a container of Astroglide on
> the bed. My mom has been yelling at him all
> morning.


Spring, please be patient with your dad as he is expressing his true self and true passions. Astroglide is excellent for bowel penetration so he is being smart there. I cannot comment on the substance on his teeth - sounds like it might be scat play usually left to the experts. Regardless you are his son and should support him. A gift wrapped box of tampons for his starfish might make him feel understood and cared for.

How are your bowels? would you like to meet-up for a talk and ride to the mall?

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi BiB's! Happy holidays to you all!
>
> I have to go to work soon as JMU is hosting a
> football game today and I am working with traffic
> and parking control. There is already plenty of
> tailgating going on all around campus. People are
> out in the cold cooking burgers, sausages, chicken
> and pork products behind their vehicles. The
> college has placed portable toilets all over the
> place and they will be getting a workout today! We
> always end up with a few drunken brawls that have
> to be dealt with by the police and state police
> come in to help the campus police. Mrs Dive is out
> setting up our grill near the stadium security
> office and she is cooking for the police officers
> today.

As one of the few non-fictional posters here I wish you and your bowels the best Go JMU

Fuck you BEH and scat lovers!

Crunchy, chewy, liquid...I don’t care because it all tastes great. Come shit in my mouth!

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Crunchy, chewy, liquid...I don’t care because it
> all tastes great. Come shit in my mouth!


Are you going to waste countless hours of your life impersonating me and others? Do you get up everyday excited to do such?

This is a forum run by Brown Onion for all of us with bowel problems. There has got to be a spot here but not here. Thanks.

"Fire"
by, Jhonny Bravo


I'm ridin' in my car
I turn on the radio
A turd is tryin to push out
I just say no
I say I can hold it in
But I know I'm a liar
'Cause when I shit
Ooooh, fire

Late at night
I'm asleep at home
A big turd is pushing out
I say leave me alone alone
I say I don't want to shit right now
But I know I'm a liar
'Cause when I finally shit
Ooooh, fire

It had a hold on me
Right from the start
A grip so tight
It's gonna tear my starfish apart
My nerves all jumpin'
Actin' like a fool
Well, my turds they burn
But my heart stays cool

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Fire"
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
> I'm ridin' in my car
> I turn on the radio
> A turd is tryin to push out
> I just say no
> I say I can hold it in
> But I know I'm a liar
> 'Cause when I shit
> Ooooh, fire
>
> Late at night
> I'm asleep at home
> A big turd is pushing out
> I say leave me alone alone
> I say I don't want to shit right now
> But I know I'm a liar
> 'Cause when I finally shit
> Ooooh, fire
>
> It had a hold on me
> Right from the start
> A grip so tight
> It's gonna tear my starfish apart
> My nerves all jumpin'
> Actin' like a fool
> Well, my turds they burn
> But my heart stays cool


Pure genius. You have earned a music award and I did wash my hands.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
my turds they burn my turds they burn my turds they burn my turds they burn my turds they burn my turds they burn my turds they burn

Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Fire"
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
> I'm ridin' in my car
> I turn on the radio
> A turd is tryin to push out
> I just say no
> I say I can hold it in
> But I know I'm a liar
> 'Cause when I shit
> Ooooh, fire
>
> Late at night
> I'm asleep at home
> A big turd is pushing out
> I say leave me alone alone
> I say I don't want to shit right now
> But I know I'm a liar
> 'Cause when I finally shit
> Ooooh, fire
>
> It had a hold on me
> Right from the start
> A grip so tight
> It's gonna tear my starfish apart
> My nerves all jumpin'
> Actin' like a fool
> Well, my turds they burn
> But my heart stays cool

Not even remotel funny. You suck.

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Verified Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Crunchy, chewy, liquid...I don’t care because
> it
> > all tastes great. Come shit in my mouth!
>
>
> Are you going to waste countless hours of your
> life impersonating me and others? Do you get up
> everyday excited to do such?
>
> This is a forum run by Brown Onion for all of us
> with bowel problems. There has got to be a spot
> here but not here. Thanks.

Its more than one of us dipshit - you are being mocked by many and deservedly so. Your screen name Brown Onion is shit too. Think we dont know that is you? By the way the real Brown passed away.

Here is the new logo for this thread. I find it both stylish and appropriate.

A grinch seems infatuated with this thread. Want to bounce around forty feet of my internal plumbing before getting tossed out of my starfish?

The Christmas holidays are upon us, and I hope families across this nation, with a president who has tremendous bowels, can openly discuss this topic at holiday dinners. Even if surrounded by guinea pig eating Puerto Ricans, that spray paint chain link fences, all of us have bowels after all. Talk to your stone throwing backpack blowing up muslim neighbors, about your shared bowel problems, and they might just blow up another infidel in your subdivision.

This is a tough time of year for the bowel trodden. The glazed ham or browned turkey looks so tasty, but the goulash starfish pounding bomb that will be delivered is not always worth the price of admission.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A grinch seems infatuated with this thread. Want
> to bounce around forty feet of my internal
> plumbing before getting tossed out of my
> starfish?
>
> The Christmas holidays are upon us, and I hope
> families across this nation, with a president who
> has tremendous bowels, can openly discuss this
> topic at holiday dinners. Even if surrounded by
> guinea pig eating Puerto Ricans, that spray paint
> chain link fences, all of us have bowels after
> all. Talk to your stone throwing backpack blowing
> up muslim neighbors, about your shared bowel
> problems, and they might just blow up another
> infidel in your subdivision.
>
> This is a tough time of year for the bowel
> trodden. The glazed ham or browned turkey looks so
> tasty, but the goulash starfish pounding bomb that
> will be delivered is not always worth the price of
> admission.

Does your shit look the same after eating another man’s shit?
Also I remember you once mentioned that you take cock up your ass. Does that help you eliminate?

Lol, how appropriate. My spam prevention code is BMEMT.

Racial epithets and not going to your grocer, are why you have these issues.

This evening there's a lot of moaning from my parents room bathroom. It sounds like two men. In fact I think my dad and his obese neighbor are more than friends. Saw them eating all kinds of fattening foods and they both used the toilet. Now there's moaning and labored breathing. I hope my mom returns home tomorrow .

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This evening there's a lot of moaning from my
> parents room bathroom. It sounds like two men. In
> fact I think my dad and his obese neighbor are
> more than friends. Saw them eating all kinds of
> fattening foods and they both used the toilet. Now
> there's moaning and labored breathing. I hope my
> mom returns home tomorrow .

I think you are under the influence of sick people here.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
tossed out of my
> starfish?starfish?starfish?starfish?starfish?

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This evening there's a lot of moaning from my
> parents room bathroom. It sounds like two men. In
> fact I think my dad and his obese neighbor are
> more than friends. Saw them eating all kinds of
> fattening foods and they both used the toilet. Now
> there's moaning and labored breathing. I hope my
> mom returns home tomorrow .


Spring I could pick you up and we could rest in the back of my van at the KMart till your mom comes home. PM my Brown Onion acct per usual.

Impersonating again. Unreal. Anyhow I'm up early eating a healthy bran/grain breakfast. Adding some low-fat yogurt too in small doses to see if there are any results differences. Age is definitely part of the equation as is ones diet.

I WOULD LOVE TO RAPE SOMEONE AFTER THEY TOOK A NICE WARM SHIT
Attachments:

I think I'm going to take off work the entire Christmas holiday. Its better to save face than cross that bridge.

My dad is wearing nothing but a Speedo and a snorkel. I found him embracing the obese neighbor who's naked and not sure what they are doing. Next to them is a broomstick, hand sanitizer, and lots of ripped up newspapers. Going to have breakfast and play video games.

I have decided to purchase a bidet style toilet seat. It looks like the Toto washlet may be the best choice but the Kohler cleansing seat looks good too and is American made while the Toto is from Japan. Men's health magazine has this to say about bidet style toilet seats,

" BIDETS ARE GOOD FOR YOU
Kohler has found that demand for smart toilets is on the rise, but more than half of Americans are still unwilling to use a bidet, according to Tonic. If you're resistant to shooting water at your neither regions as a means to get clean, you may want to reconsider.

Bidets reduce the threat of contact between hands and feces, which can lead to the spread of diseases such as e. coli. And according to a study in the Journal of Korean Medical Science, bidets can deliver similar effects as a traditional warm sitz bath if used at low or medium pressure and warm temperature. Which is to say that if you have anal fissures or other similar injuries, if used as gently as possible, bidets are your friend."

The most basic seats run about 350 dollars and fancy ones run into thousands of dollars. The seats require a 120 volt power supply protected by a GFCI device. When I had my master bathroom remodeled a few years back I had the power outlet installed behind my toilet. If I put these seats in my other two bathrooms I will have to add in the power supply somehow.
Attachments:

boiled onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have decided to purchase a bidet style toilet
> seat. It looks like the Toto washlet may be the
> best choice but the Kohler cleansing seat looks
> good too and is American made while the Toto is
> from Japan. Men's health magazine has this to say
> about bidet style toilet seats,
>
> " BIDETS ARE GOOD FOR YOU
> Kohler has found that demand for smart toilets is
> on the rise, but more than half of Americans are
> still unwilling to use a bidet, according to
> Tonic. If you're resistant to shooting water at
> your neither regions as a means to get clean, you
> may want to reconsider.
>
> Bidets reduce the threat of contact between hands
> and feces, which can lead to the spread of
> diseases such as e. coli. And according to a study
> in the Journal of Korean Medical Science, bidets
> can deliver similar effects as a traditional warm
> sitz bath if used at low or medium pressure and
> warm temperature. Which is to say that if you have
> anal fissures or other similar injuries, if used
> as gently as possible, bidets are your friend."
>
> The most basic seats run about 350 dollars and
> fancy ones run into thousands of dollars. The
> seats require a 120 volt power supply protected by
> a GFCI device. When I had my master bathroom
> remodeled a few years back I had the power outlet
> installed behind my toilet. If I put these seats
> in my other two bathrooms I will have to add in
> the power supply somehow.

bidets are for people that do not bath daily. If you only want to shower once or twice per week a bidet is great I suppose. You will need different towel hygiene as well - no re-use with bidet. I house sat for 6 months with bidets in the master baths and they involve getting your ass and balls soaking. Also if the idea was to wash the shit off your starfish, I never did that as spraying shit off your anus into and around an open bowel didnt make sense to me. Now you have feces flushed down the toilet and in the open bidet.

The one or two times I tried it with my fully wiped ass I noticed it gets your whole backside wet. I suppose you should use a wash cloth and soap so then you have to deal with a shitty soaked wash clothe (not ringing that thing out with my hands). Wet feces soaked towels dripping wet in the hamper - mmmmm.

Finally how to deal with your soaked ass. Yup, another towel you use to wipe your ass. That goes right to the hamper as well. And for what? So you have a spanking clean starfish between showers. As a Westerner I shower at least once a day often twice with a workout. I shit once or twice a day and I am very careful wiping my anus with high quality TP.

Bidets are for savage Europeans with several days worth of Smeg built up on their stinky bodies.

BTW looks like a new pic poster now we have at least 2 of em. This guy likes the disgusting intercourse-shit pics. Revolting.

My rump must have been made in China with its inferior parts. If bowels could be recalled mine would be.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My rumpMy rumpMy rumpMy rumpMy rumpMy rump

Do you wake up every morning, and your first thought is "I get to stalk BO on the underground today?"

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do you wake up every morning, and your first
> thought is "I get to stalk BO on the underground
> today?"

Sadly, as you well know (see your heartfelt condolence below), the user Brown Onion died this past spring. Whomever is imitating him is a disgrace.



Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: April 25, 2017 06:05PM

weekend update Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown onion was admitted to Fairfax Hospital last
> week. His chances of survival are uncertain at
> this time. Thoughts and prayers please. He was
> transferred to a VA hospital today. We will know
> more soon. Thank you all!


Thank you Charlie for updating my brothers friends here. Sadly my brother passed away at age 79. He was a father, grandfather, and is survived by three children, four grandchildren, a sister and brother, along with being preceded by his wife Ethel in 2011.

Its with sadness that a cardiac event took him from us but our family is grateful, and asks any donations be made to any IBS awareness organizations. My brother was a tireless advocate for the millions of people who deal with this medical issues, and will be remembered for his kindness and support to all.


Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: April 26, 2017 11:34AM

My condolences BO was loved here





.

Sounds like you need to get over your whining. Seriously get laid if you can, drink a few, join a sports league, shit play role playing games.

Spinning signz on Fairfax Boulevardz. Working until two with bunz out. Dressed up as elfz and ready for Santaz sackz to visit bayz in bayz.

Hello brown guyz! I got my roomate ta set up the image blockin thing so I dont have ta look at tha nazty piturez here anymore. That iz vury good!

Gots me tha day off taday an am cookin yet another turkey in my big crock pot roaster thing. We rents the basement of a house an dont have a real kitchen, jus a makeshift one with a laundry tub sink an all lol! So I can only roast turkeyz that way. I am gonna watch redzone all day an drink lotz of beerz. Got me the day off tommorow too. I hope all yall brown guys are doin well and havin good number 2z. I been eatin lots of green grapez and they seem to be helpin my bowelz. Happi hollidayz everyone!

Hey red onion sounds like you got a good thing going on. This weekend the bowels have seen better but I wish you a merry Christmas and excellent shits too.

BO posts some stupd shit under Dr. Fingers and then bumps it under his other name because nobody responds. When will he just realize he fucking sucks and he’s obvious, no matter what name he trolls under?

Thank you Cave and Merry Christmas Red Onion. Those food items make me as leery as a negro at a klan convention.

Anyhow this season is brutal. Bet you want those delicious cookies or that egg nog with a bit of something extra in it. Don't do it. You might savor the flavor but your bowels and starfish will be given a large bill to pay.

I think my dad has some problems. My mom found him in the bed with the obese neighbor. I can't hear much but it seems she's upset about this, along with finding a leash and whip. My dad was smart enough to get rid of the plastic on the floors and walls. Yet this afternoon sucks and to think we are not going back to school for weeks.

Drank 5 glasses of Metamucil. Am constipated.

I feel hurting after another big one. It seems that even with a careful planning, still crank out a monster.

You all fucked up.

https://www.politico.com/interactives/2017/obama-hezbollah-drug-trafficking-investigation/

Hello everyone, 5am guy checking in earlier than usual tonight. 5am guy is going back on 12 hour shifts later this week and 5am guy is working Christmas eve and Christmas day. That is okay though because 5am guy has no life and no friends.
5am guys therapist keeps asking 5am guy lots of questions about 5am guys childhood. She seems to think 5am guys bowel trouble is all in 5am guys head. Her assistant always gets 5am guys co-pay as soon as 5am guy walks into the office. She says that 5am guy should not refer to himself in third person but 5am guy does not know what that means exactly.
5am guy hopes that everyone here has a nice holiday season.

5am guy needs serious help. The therapist is a quack.

I ate at Cracker Barrel. My poor bowels!What was I thinking?

I'm worried about my sister Matilda. She called me late last night, and I guess I will take her to the "doctor" today if the dickheads indifferent staff will. They have the tables stirrups gags thick fingers but dealing with "those people" is awful. Her bowels are acting up. I hope somehow the doctor has something to alleviate her suffering. If not her neighbors will be irritated with her IBS.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm worried about my sister Matilda. She called me
> late last night, and I guess I will take her to
> the "doctor" today if the dickheads indifferent
> staff will. They have the tables stirrups gags
> thick fingers but dealing with "those people" is
> awful. Her bowels are acting up. I hope somehow
> the doctor has something to alleviate her
> suffering. If not her neighbors will be irritated
> with her IBS.

Good luck to you both, as I like you find my doctor to be less than exemplary.

I woke up to the sounds of extreme farting. My dad and the obese neighbor are playing a game they call "Fart Wars." Its disgusting, and the house stinks. Its tough enough to not sleep well, its another to wake up to this sight and smell. They have pizza boxes stacked up, what appears to be buffalo wing bones all over newspapers, and some sort of swatter device that looks electrified. I will try to get some breakfast, but would like to go back to school.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello brown guyz! I got my roomate ta set up the
> image blockin thing so I dont have ta look at tha
> nazty piturez here anymore. That iz vury good!
>
> Gots me tha day off taday an am cookin yet another
> turkey in my big crock pot roaster thing. We rents
> the basement of a house an dont have a real
> kitchen, jus a makeshift one with a laundry tub
> sink an all lol! So I can only roast turkeyz that
> way. I am gonna watch redzone all day an drink
> lotz of beerz. Got me the day off tommorow too. I
> hope all yall brown guys are doin well and havin
> good number 2z. I been eatin lots of green grapez
> and they seem to be helpin my bowelz. Happi
> hollidayz everyone!


So the only housing you can afford is to SPLIT the rent on a basement with a slop sink and a crock pot for your kitchen? Stop wasting your time on this site and go to some classes to train for a better job. Every minute you spend on this scat porn site is another day in your $400/month basement home. Id suggest moving to a more affordable area as well. Perhaps you could rent 5am guy's ex's place at the female crack-house in Front Royal.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm worried

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I woke up to the sounds of extreme farting. My dad
> and the obese neighbor are playing a game they
> call "Fart Wars." Its disgusting, and the house
> stinks. Its tough enough to not sleep well, its
> another to wake up to this sight and smell. They
> have pizza boxes stacked up, what appears to be
> buffalo wing bones all over newspapers, and some
> sort of swatter device that looks electrified. I
> will try to get some breakfast, but would like to
> go back to school.

Dear Spring, It sounds as though your dad and neighbor have some sort of blossoming relationship - you might prepare yourself for some changes around your home life. While not common this sort of awakening in midlife can be a source of major life and family changes. Please understand that your Dad's journey is his own and not because of or about you. You and your mom will have to support each other and even your dad and the obese neighbor.

Please seek counseling if you ever think you are depressed or think of self harm. Also make sure to wash your hand regularly and carry hand sanitizer with you - your dad and neighbor sound like they are 'marking' your entire home.

Spinning signz dressed up as elvez of Santa clauz bayz in bayz specialz today come on down to Fairfax Boulevardz letz have fun

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
bowels and starfish

Dr. Fingers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> boiled onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I have decided to purchase a bidet style toilet
> > seat. It looks like the Toto washlet may be the
> > best choice but the Kohler cleansing seat looks
> > good too and is American made while the Toto is
> > from Japan. Men's health magazine has this to
> say
> > about bidet style toilet seats,
> >
> > " BIDETS ARE GOOD FOR YOU
> > Kohler has found that demand for smart toilets
> is
> > on the rise, but more than half of Americans
> are
> > still unwilling to use a bidet, according to
> > Tonic. If you're resistant to shooting water at
> > your neither regions as a means to get clean,
> you
> > may want to reconsider.
> >
> > Bidets reduce the threat of contact between
> hands
> > and feces, which can lead to the spread of
> > diseases such as e. coli. And according to a
> study
> > in the Journal of Korean Medical Science,
> bidets
> > can deliver similar effects as a traditional
> warm
> > sitz bath if used at low or medium pressure and
> > warm temperature. Which is to say that if you
> have
> > anal fissures or other similar injuries, if
> used
> > as gently as possible, bidets are your friend."
> >
> > The most basic seats run about 350 dollars and
> > fancy ones run into thousands of dollars. The
> > seats require a 120 volt power supply protected
> by
> > a GFCI device. When I had my master bathroom
> > remodeled a few years back I had the power
> outlet
> > installed behind my toilet. If I put these
> seats
> > in my other two bathrooms I will have to add in
> > the power supply somehow.
>
> bidets are for people that do not bath daily. If
> you only want to shower once or twice per week a
> bidet is great I suppose. You will need different
> towel hygiene as well - no re-use with bidet. I
> house sat for 6 months with bidets in the master
> baths and they involve getting your ass and balls
> soaking. Also if the idea was to wash the shit
> off your starfish, I never did that as spraying
> shit off your anus into and around an open bowel
> didnt make sense to me. Now you have feces
> flushed down the toilet and in the open bidet.
>
> The one or two times I tried it with my fully
> wiped ass I noticed it gets your whole backside
> wet. I suppose you should use a wash cloth and
> soap so then you have to deal with a shitty soaked
> wash clothe (not ringing that thing out with my
> hands). Wet feces soaked towels dripping wet in
> the hamper - mmmmm.
>
> Finally how to deal with your soaked ass. Yup,
> another towel you use to wipe your ass. That goes
> right to the hamper as well. And for what? So
> you have a spanking clean starfish between
> showers. As a Westerner I shower at least once a
> day often twice with a workout. I shit once or
> twice a day and I am very careful wiping my anus
> with high quality TP.
>
> Bidets are for savage Europeans with several days
> worth of Smeg built up on their stinky bodies.

These seats have blow driers built in that have electric heat strips so they blow your ass perfectly dry. The seats are heated too.

Boiled onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> > Bidets are for savage Europeans with several
> days
> > worth of Smeg built up on their stinky bodies.
>
> These seats have blow driers built in that have
> electric heat strips so they blow your ass
> perfectly dry. The seats are heated too.

So go buy 3 of them - have a machine clean your asshole and then blow dry it. Why debate it here? Personally I live with a slightly shitty asshole for overnight till my next shower. BTW ever notice some feces remains inside the rectum - do bidets have a hydrofloss for that shit? Do they have 'auto-enema' or something. Can any of us live with so much as a milligram of shit outside our bodies while we carry a Kg inside our bodies?

So much to think about all day, my feces, my precious. Jesus - its your shit dont worry so much about it.

I installed a kitchen spray nozzle in the sink next to my shitter. I just whip that thing out and spray my ass then dry with TP.

Spinning signz going to get beerz. Today many customerz. Butt hole is wide but still have room for few menz dip stickz come soon dollarz and coinz.

Low budget bidet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I installed a kitchen spray nozzle in the sink
> next to my shitter. I just whip that thing out and
> spray my ass then dry with TP.


bowel friendly tip for those of us like red onion on a budget! Tell us more about your bowels.

The Dodge K car is stuck between the upper and lower intestine. Its awful.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Dodge K car is stuck between the upper and
> lower intestine. Its awful.

Its nice seeing the Bristol Stool Guide. All of us with IBS know this but perhaps others can learn.

Those guides are making me hungry

My dad is dancing in his brown soiled underwear to Taylor Swifts "Shake it Off." The obese neighbor is in a string bikini passed out. Beers are everywhere. I see stacks of pizza boxes and will spend the night in my room.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad is dancing in his brown soiled underwear to
> Taylor Swifts "Shake it Off." The obese neighbor
> is in a string bikini passed out. Beers are
> everywhere. I see stacks of pizza boxes and will
> spend the night in my room.


Spring - sounds like things are a little out of hand there - do you want to take a spin in the van with me? We could get ice cream.

My dad and the obese neighbor, have found a way to put shit on the ceiling fan and spray the walls. They call this modern art. I have some bowel healthy foods, and am in my bedroom safe from their insanity.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad and the obese neighbor, have found a way to
> put shit on the ceiling fan and spray the walls.
> They call this modern art. I have some bowel
> healthy foods, and am in my bedroom safe from
> their insanity.


dont judge, would you like to come over and take a warm bath to relax?

5am guy checking in again here. 5am guy had a little adventure earlier, 5am guy got the janitor to "accidently" leave a door unlocked and 5am guy disabled a security camera so that 5am guy could take a dump in the big bosses private bathroom. 5am guy did this once before a year or two ago.
The big bosses bathroom has nice tile and a jet black toilet along with a good exhaust fan and dimmable LED lighting, soft towels and fine french soaps. 5am guy had an enjoyable dump in there, the room really sets the mood.

Good morning 5 am guy. Taking a crap in the bosses bathroom must feel great. I hope you had no strain but rather the feeling of accomplishment on a job well done.

Might have to try the dim bulb idea while on the groan throne, as when I put my butt in there, I sweat with impending doom, dread really about what's coming down the pipeline. And that should be soon here as my bowels have filled up again, and this damaged and war weary starfish is going to pay for it.

I ate sausage and grits. What was I thinking? My poor bowels!

Today at the office we are having a pot luck lunch. Several employees brought in crock pots filled with things like pulled pork and meatballs maybe some chili too. Talk about highway to the danger zone! I have already put in a leave request to go home early so I can shit my brains out.

Spinning signz want lubez. Come on down for oil changez bunz out bring your dollarz and coinz have your wayz.

My dad bought me a Nintendo Switch. Its a lot of fun but my dad and the obese neighbor locked my parents bedroom. All I hear is them talking about hiding the sausage and writing with feces. I think they have problems.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good morning 5 am guy. Taking a crap in the bosses
> bathroom must feel great. I hope you had no strain
> but rather the feeling of accomplishment on a job
> well done.
>
> Might have to try the dim bulb idea while on the
> groan throne, as when I put my butt in there, I
> sweat with impending doom, dread really about
> what's coming down the pipeline. And that should
> be soon here as my bowels have filled up again,
> and this damaged and war weary starfish is going
> to pay for it

Boiled onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Today at the office we are having a pot luck
> lunch. Several employees brought in crock pots
> filled with things like pulled pork and meatballs
> maybe some chili too. Talk about highway to the
> danger zone! I have already put in a leave request
> to go home early so I can shit my brains out.


you plan your day, your life around your bowel movements. Do you ever wonder what you might have done to deserve a life so stupidly lived?

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad bought me a Nintendo Switch. Its a lot of
> fun but my dad and the obese neighbor locked my
> parents bedroom. All I hear is them talking about
> hiding the sausage and writing with feces. I think
> they have problems.


Glad to hear about your gift - that is great! Dont worry about your dad and the neighbor they are just wrapping gifts and saying these things to get you away from the door. Were they able to clean the ceiling fan after using it to play with their feces? Sounds like something you would want to take care of right away.

Anyway enjoy the Switch and be careful not to scratch the screen (but dont buy a Zagg protector they are crap).

Red Onion Class of 20006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Spinning signz want lubez. Come on down for oil
> changez bunz out bring your dollarz and coinz have
> your wayz.

Red you are the hardest working person on this forum! Keep spinning and make sure your clients wear protection you wouldnt want any critters in your BayZ this day in age.

I was going to go Christmas shopping today. The bowels being irritated won't allow for it. Hoping tomorrow as literally down to just a few days.

Verified Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was going to go Christmas shopping today. The
> bowels being irritated won't allow for it. Hoping
> tomorrow as literally down to just a few days.

Green that sounds about right for those of us with issues. Can you share your number on the Bristol Stool Scale so we can evaluate the level of your suffering? Just make sure you have your Tucks and TV Guide in hand at all times! lol

Playing the Switch has been fun. Yet my dad walking around in soiled underwear, belching, and saying how "the neighbors the best thing in his life," is a bit creepy. The neighbor is passed out on his stomach with his underwear around his ankles.

Spinning signz stressed out from shopping at mallz. Visit bayz in bayz and work out pressurez with my bunz. Your angry wivez not give up I knowz so visit me on Fairfax Boulevardz!

Got more TP for the Church. Its Christmas plus it counts as a tax deduction

Hard Wiper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Got more TP for the Church. Its Christmas plus it
> counts as a tax deduction


Its nice that you do this for your church, hopefully a bastion of white people, that know how to properly celebrate Christmas. My bowels are in a holding pattern. In many ways its a lot like what is over the skies at busy airports, with a large object waiting to land. This one won't be a 747, but rather a big stinky mess that could be about the same size but no passengers on the manifest.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hard Wiper Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Got more TP for the Church. Its Christmas plus
> it
> > counts as a tax deduction
>
>
> Its nice that you do this for your church,
> hopefully a bastion of white people, that know how
> to properly celebrate Christmas. My bowels are in
> a holding pattern. In many ways its a lot like
> what is over the skies at busy airports, with a
> large object waiting to land. This one won't be a
> 747, but rather a big stinky mess that could be
> about the same size but no passengers on the
> manifest.

What's up with the Bristol Stool Guide? Didn't know that existed.

BO has always shown us what we are capable of, although I wish we could have a chart that shows us sizes we expel.

Playing Zelda while the men are playing Scattegories in the living room, and brown liquid twister. Its pretty disgusting. The smell lingers so put rolled up towels where the door has room under it.

Spring Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Playing Zelda while the men are playing
> Scattegories in the living room, and brown liquid
> twister. Its pretty disgusting. The smell lingers
> so put rolled up towels where the door has room
> under it.


Type 6 or Type 7 Spring? I could come by and bring you some kitty litter and my Febreze air purifier and drive to the gym in the van and give you a back rub in the private baths in the Family Dressing Room area of Lifetime Gym off Pickett - its open 24 hrs...

PM my Brown Onion acct okay ;)

wow this is a strange thread. thought peps talking food here but its some kind of sex thread. very odd.