Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My fish has a wish as it burns through a log
> My intestines feel stuffed like a frog
> The aromas are terrible, there's some kind of
> smell
> My house has the scent of what could be hell.
>
> I wish my butt wouldn't be hurting, it's so very
> sore
> Now I feel like a two dollar where
> It hurts like I'm punished, it's not very fair
> At least Charmin is given to a bear
>
> My screams go unanswered, my rectum is hurt
> What comes out is solid dirt
> A night on the throat is in store
> All I'll be left is the feeling of sore.

Man o man I ate me a big ole bowl of gritz this mornin. I had to buy me a new used car an I am low on funds. I shore hope I get tips taday cauze I gots the nex two dayz off an wood like ta have some money fo gas an food. Otherwize I be eatin grits and peanut butter an ramen noodlez till nex friday. My bowelz will be a sufferin!

This video helps me go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S05o-PBPUs

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o man I ate me a big ole bowl of gritz this
> mornin. I had to buy me a new used car an I am low
> on funds. I shore hope I get tips taday cauze I
> gots the nex two dayz off an wood like ta have
> some money fo gas an food. Otherwize I be eatin
> grits and peanut butter an ramen noodlez till nex
> friday. My bowelz will be a sufferin!

What kind of car did you get RO?

Who will croak next? B0 ate poorly and never lifted a finger - death came quickly to him but not before his own lifestyle made him suffer. You people eating poorly and complaining of your bowels, think for a second - how long will you last? Exercise, eat lots of fresh greens, limit land animal proteins and avoid smoking and drinkin ETOH.

Please do shut up about your poop if you eat like an idiot - it stinks like one of B0's midwife-delivered brown watermelons...

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Man o man I ate me a big ole bowl of gritz this
> > mornin. I had to buy me a new used car an I am
> low
> > on funds. I shore hope I get tips taday cauze I
> > gots the nex two dayz off an wood like ta have
> > some money fo gas an food. Otherwize I be eatin
> > grits and peanut butter an ramen noodlez till
> nex
> > friday. My bowelz will be a sufferin!
>
> What kind of car did you get RO?


Hi mr bomber. I got me a 2oo6 Crown victoria that only has 73,000 milez on it. It waz owned by a old man from my church who got too old ta drive anymore. My old honda civics had ova 300,000 milez an the tranmission waz messin up. I sold that car to a vury nice mexican boy who works with me at tha jiffy lubez. He gave me 225 dollarz fo it. I had a hard time gettin them folks at tha apple credit union to loan me some money but they did it cauze my sister co signed. How iz your bowelz taday mr bomber?

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Diced Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Why did I eat at Burger King for breakfast?
> My
> > > poor bowels.
> >
> >
> > Ouch. You are human but is there anything left
> > down below decks?
>
>
> Welcome to the forum green onion. Please keep us
> updated on your digestive developments. You are
> among friends here. Your concern for our friend
> diced onion is touching. God bless.

Same here and thank you Mr Bomber. It seems our asses are sore.A shame as we are not using our asses for improper uses but natural ones.

Today led to strain and pain. My colon is a pain in the ass.

Brown Onion is missed but i read and support you all!

Well I got tha day off taday an I jus dropped a numba 3. I am about broke as I had ta buy me a car las week. I did end up gettin 17 dollarz in tips yesterday praize tha Lord.
I am going ta buy a whole chicken an get me a couple meals from it then make homade chicken soup. I iz goin ta church and then buyin the chicken then stayin home till Tuesday mornin.

It is with sadness but gratitude. My brother would be thrilled to see people still connecting with others to commiserate together.

Matilda

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It is with sadness but gratitude. My brother would
> be thrilled to see people still connecting with
> others to commiserate together.
>
> Matilda


He was and is loved Matilda!

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > It is with sadness but gratitude. My brother
> would
> > be thrilled to see people still connecting with
> > others to commiserate together.
> >
> > Matilda
>
>
> He was and is loved Matilda!


MZ Matilda, God bless you! Can you tell us some inspirational stories about tha life of yer brother. I wood be verey interested! Thank you so much!

Cheese Steak and French fries. My poor bowels are going to pay.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Cheese Steak and French fries. My poor bowels are
> going to pay.


Oh man dicedonion, thoze cheezesteaks are good goin down but bad goin out! I iz eatin ramen noodlez an chicken. Not sure how thatz gonna turn out. On top ov that i got ta eat peanut butter samwhizes fo lunch all week cauze i am broke till friday.

Yep just like BO used to say cinder blocks and cement. I actually cried with that crap as it really hurt. If a pain scale 9 out of 10.

Every now and then I get in the mood for butt sex. It is good as long as you and your partner are gentle. Too much butt sex can be bad but a dozen times a year has no negative effects.

Hello all, 5am guy checking in here earlier than usual.
5am guy just took a very fantastic dump. 5am guy was using a VR video, a scuba diving video. 5am guy got very relaxed and had a huge bowel movement. Now 5am guy is feeling good.
5am guy has decided he is not going to do any work tonight 5am guy is enjoying the moment. 5am guy is going to buy some beer when he gets off work here in a few hours. 5am guy hopes to be drunk by 9am and passed out by noon.

Had a bigger than usual one today. My bum hurts

I got a hot mess in my car seats on 66 by Nutley St. Can anyone give me a hand?

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I got a hot mess in my car seats on 66 by Nutley
> St. Can anyone give me a hand?


A shame user name Brown Onion can longer provide obtuse write ups. My suggestion a board certified GI.

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Splatter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I got a hot mess in my car seats on 66 by
> Nutley
> > St. Can anyone give me a hand?
>
>
> A shame user name Brown Onion can longer provide
> obtuse write ups. My suggestion a board certified
> GI.


Are you the Saiontz and Kirk of doctors.

Your scat leader is dead

Chipotle. My poor bowels suffer.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chipotle. My poor bowels suffer.


BEH and gay shit.

Man o Man my bowelz are blocked up! I got low on money an waz down ta my bottom dollar. I been eatin peanut butter on white an ramen noodle all weeks longs. All my billz are paid so I be getting a good paycheck on Friday an am gonna buy some really good food an beer too!

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o Man my bowelz are blocked up! I got low on
> money an waz down ta my bottom dollar. I been
> eatin peanut butter on white an ramen noodle all
> weeks longs. All my billz are paid so I be getting
> a good paycheck on Friday an am gonna buy some
> really good food an beer too!


A twenty dollar co pay at a board certified GI, would be a better idea.

I cant go to work today. My slacks are full of shit

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I cant go to work today. My slacks are full of
> shit


We have opposite problems

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Splatter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I cant go to work today. My slacks are full of
> > shit
>
>
> We have opposite problems


That's the thing about bowel trouble. Some of us struggle to drop a load while others cut loose at inappropriate times. I suffer from a little of both. I have to eat a really balanced diet to enjoy bowel normalcy.
I used to have a high stress job that caused me to have bowel trouble all the time so that can be a big factor too. Now that I am semi-retired and have a fun job working only 25 to 30 hours a week with summers off my bowels are much better.
Our great leader Brown Onion gave me some advice a year or two ago that helped the wife and I make the decision to sell our home and leave our stressful lifestyle behind. That was the best move we ever made. I sure do miss Brown Onion's commentary here on this forum and I sometimes go back a few pages and read some of his posts.

It shore haz been hot tha las coupla days workin at jiffy lube an my bowelz is tore up. I got payed taday so I can get me some better food ta eat.

Happy weekend ta all yall brown guys!

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It shore haz been hot tha las coupla days workin
> at jiffy lube an my bowelz is tore up. I got payed
> taday so I can get me some better food ta eat.
>
> Happy weekend ta all yall brown guys!


You as well red onion and all bowel brothers

Heat makes my problems worse.

My bowels look like the pit jabba uses in Star Wars. I tried to behave but the pizza smell os so good. My guess is a couple of days and a large stinky object maybe Sputnik

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Splatter Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I cant go to work today. My slacks are full
> of
> > > shit
> >
> >
> > We have opposite problems
>
>
> That's the thing about bowel trouble. Some of us
> struggle to drop a load while others cut loose at
> inappropriate times. I suffer from a little of
> both. I have to eat a really balanced diet to
> enjoy bowel normalcy.
> I used to have a high stress job that caused me to
> have bowel trouble all the time so that can be a
> big factor too. Now that I am semi-retired and
> have a fun job working only 25 to 30 hours a week
> with summers off my bowels are much better.
> Our great leader Brown Onion gave me some advice a
> year or two ago that helped the wife and I make
> the decision to sell our home and leave our
> stressful lifestyle behind. That was the best move
> we ever made. I sure do miss Brown Onion's
> commentary here on this forum and I sometimes go
> back a few pages and read some of his posts.

Brown Onion was wise. Best here and missed very much. Have your bowels improved a lot?

Man on Man I am feelin good rite now. I jus took a huge dump rite after drinkin a diet pepsi this morning. I am gonna go to the cash machine an go for a long drive in my new used car.
I iz thinkin bout goin to Mama Mia pizza in Manassaz for lunch, I love that place!
Welcome to tha board mr or ms greenonion!

Im so glad to see this forum going strong, as this is my brothers legacy. A few posts back someone asked if I would be active here, and in honor to Spiro I shall, as he was a wonderful brother and man, who also supported me against the doctors, who claim to have cures, or in other ways that helped with my bowel problems. It is unfair to have to spend hours on the commode, with large bowel movements that cause screaming pains. Matilda

Hugs to you all.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im so glad to see this forum going strong, as this
> is my brothers legacy. A few posts back someone
> asked if I would be active here, and in honor to
> Spiro I shall, as he was a wonderful brother and
> man, who also supported me against the doctors,
> who claim to have cures, or in other ways that
> helped with my bowel problems. It is unfair to
> have to spend hours on the commode, with large
> bowel movements that cause screaming pains.
> Matilda
>
> Hugs to you all.


Welcome Matilda! And thsnk you

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im so glad to see this forum going strong, as this
> is my brothers legacy. A few posts back someone
> asked if I would be active here, and in honor to
> Spiro I shall, as he was a wonderful brother and
> man, who also supported me against the doctors,
> who claim to have cures, or in other ways that
> helped with my bowel problems. It is unfair to
> have to spend hours on the commode, with large
> bowel movements that cause screaming pains.
> Matilda
>
> Hugs to you all.


Hi Matilda,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your brother was a great man who built a network of support for people with a disease that is often misunderstood. Thank you for letting us know his real first name and please keep us informed on how life is going for you. Sometimes just communicating with others can be helpful.
I am working like a dog today cleaning up my townhouses that I rent to JMU kids. There was no major damage done to the properties but these kids do little to no cleaning. They were all good kids this year so I gave them all their deposits back.

Damn, this waz supposed ta be my Saturday off but they begged me ta come into work. Looks like lotz of folks are gettin oil changez cauze they are goin on vacation nex week. I been here for an hour an already got 15 dollarz in tips. Good thing my bowelz cleared this mornin. Im gonna get me some miller high lifes after work!

My butt has soup like consistency shits today kind of gravy like actually

Brown onion was a racist.

not a racist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown onion was a racist.


BO was just old fashioned. I think he grew up in Northern Virginia and watched his home town go from a suburban paradise to a semi-urban dystopia. It is not uncommon for older people to feel this way and although BO would joke about mowing down 3rd world savages with his Buick I suspect that this man never hurt anyone. I bet he was the kind of guy that would help a neighbor in need no matter what their ethnicity was.

Freedom of speech and do you really think only white people have IBS?

Well, I gets just one day off this week an that's taday! I drank 5 miller high livez las night an am having some more right now. Got me a turkey breast in tha crock pot too. Had me a normal poop this morning. Life iz real good right now. Jiffy lube waz slammed yesterday an I ended up wit 27 dollarz in tips yesterday!

Hi all! 5am guy here again. 5am guy is going to see another therapist later this morning. 5am guy may be cracking up.

Don't crack up like 5am guy.

Thanks.

Baja Fresh burritos. What was I thinking? My poor bowels.

Muslims are like my bowels explosive

Crapped my slacks before work at least.

Diced, Green and splat, Hang in dere brotherz.

Mr 5 am i hopes you findz a good thearipist. Everyone needz a little therapy ever now an then.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced, Green and splat, Hang in dere brotherz.
>
> Mr 5 am i hopes you findz a good thearipist.
> Everyone needz a little therapy ever now an then.


See a board certified GI!!!!

Anon doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Diced, Green and splat, Hang in dere brotherz.
> >
> > Mr 5 am i hopes you findz a good thearipist.
> > Everyone needz a little therapy ever now an
> then.
>
>
> See a board certified GI!!!!


I'd rather see a mechanic

I made a brutal mistake. Five Guys bacon cheeseburger. My poor bowels!

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I made a brutal mistake. Five Guys bacon
> cheeseburger. My poor bowels!


Yes that's not bowel approved, like bananas apples water. I hope you survive this as while tasty painful.

Hello all, 5am guy checking in again.

5am guy went to see his new therapist yesterday. This doctor is concerned that 5am guy tends to talk about himself in 3rd person. 5am guy is not sure what that means.
5am guy used the star shower light in the men's room about an hour ago and that combined with the expensive flavored candles made for a good elimination. 5am guy sends best wishes to everyone posting here.

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all, 5am guy checking in again.
>
> 5am guy went to see his new therapist yesterday.
> This doctor is concerned that 5am guy tends to
> talk about himself in 3rd person. 5am guy is not
> sure what that means.
> 5am guy used the star shower light in the men's
> room about an hour ago and that combined with the
> expensive flavored candles made for a good
> elimination. 5am guy sends best wishes to everyone
> posting here.


My gut says your doctor speaks in third person so I wouldnt worry. My bowels really hurt today.

Spiros service was lovely. I miss my brother and along with our younger brother grieve this loss. Thank you very much for your kind words about Spiro and at his service in lieu of flowers, very grateful for $5,000 to IBS related research. Matilda

Man o man one ov the domino pizza delivery drivers brought some pan pizzas in to jiffy lube taday an I ate me two slicez . Now my innards are not feelin so good. They waz delishous tho.

Mz Matilda thankz for tha update bout your brothers services. He was a good man an we all miss him very much.

I want this!
Attachments:

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I want this!


That sho doez look nice.

That pizza i ate yestady haz cauzed my bowels a little trouble but not too bad.

My loose stools would benefit from that!

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> not a racist Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown onion was a racist.
>
>
> BO was just old fashioned. I think he grew up in
> Northern Virginia and watched his home town go
> from a suburban paradise to a semi-urban dystopia.
> It is not uncommon for older people to feel this
> way and although BO would joke about mowing down
> 3rd world savages with his Buick I suspect that
> this man never hurt anyone. I bet he was the kind
> of guy that would help a neighbor in need no
> matter what their ethnicity was.

His online persona was racist. NOVA wasn't the paradise you cite unless you were a white straight male. B0 is a cautionary tale physically and spiritually. eat well and be loving and kind to Everyone or you will meet the same fate as he did...

rest in spaghetti Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > not a racist Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Brown onion was a racist.
> >
> >
> > BO was just old fashioned. I think he grew up
> in
> > Northern Virginia and watched his home town go
> > from a suburban paradise to a semi-urban
> dystopia.
> > It is not uncommon for older people to feel
> this
> > way and although BO would joke about mowing
> down
> > 3rd world savages with his Buick I suspect that
> > this man never hurt anyone. I bet he was the
> kind
> > of guy that would help a neighbor in need no
> > matter what their ethnicity was.
>
> His online persona was racist. NOVA wasn't the
> paradise you cite unless you were a white straight
> male. B0 is a cautionary tale physically and
> spiritually. eat well and be loving and kind to
> Everyone or you will meet the same fate as he
> did...

How about a little respect for those whove recently lost their life. BO helped all with bowels. It didn't matter what skin color. And he was a good person.

Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> rest in spaghetti Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > not a racist Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Brown onion was a racist.
> > >
> > >
> > > BO was just old fashioned. I think he grew up
> > in
> > > Northern Virginia and watched his home town
> go
> > > from a suburban paradise to a semi-urban
> > dystopia.
> > > It is not uncommon for older people to feel
> > this
> > > way and although BO would joke about mowing
> > down
> > > 3rd world savages with his Buick I suspect
> that
> > > this man never hurt anyone. I bet he was the
> > kind
> > > of guy that would help a neighbor in need no
> > > matter what their ethnicity was.
> >
> > His online persona was racist. NOVA wasn't the
> > paradise you cite unless you were a white
> straight
> > male. B0 is a cautionary tale physically and
> > spiritually. eat well and be loving and kind
> to
> > Everyone or you will meet the same fate as he
> > did...
>
> How about a little respect for those whove
> recently lost their life. BO helped all with
> bowels. It didn't matter what skin color. And he
> was a good person.

The truth I offer might help give some meaning to B0's presence here - I even qualified his obvious racism as his 'persona here' offering that it may have been performance - I doubt it was but all I knew was his persona.

eat well Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dave Johns Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > rest in spaghetti Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > dive bomber Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > not a racist Wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > >
> > > > -----
> > > > > Brown onion was a racist.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > BO was just old fashioned. I think he grew
> up
> > > in
> > > > Northern Virginia and watched his home town
> > go
> > > > from a suburban paradise to a semi-urban
> > > dystopia.
> > > > It is not uncommon for older people to feel
> > > this
> > > > way and although BO would joke about mowing
> > > down
> > > > 3rd world savages with his Buick I suspect
> > that
> > > > this man never hurt anyone. I bet he was
> the
> > > kind
> > > > of guy that would help a neighbor in need
> no
> > > > matter what their ethnicity was.
> > >
> > > His online persona was racist. NOVA wasn't
> the
> > > paradise you cite unless you were a white
> > straight
> > > male. B0 is a cautionary tale physically and
> > > spiritually. eat well and be loving and kind
> > to
> > > Everyone or you will meet the same fate as he
> > > did...
> >
> > How about a little respect for those whove
> > recently lost their life. BO helped all with
> > bowels. It didn't matter what skin color. And
> he
> > was a good person.
>
> The truth I offer might help give some meaning to
> B0's presence here - I even qualified his obvious
> racism as his 'persona here' offering that it may
> have been performance - I doubt it was but all I
> knew was his persona.


He was an old guy. Yeah he was not PC but at least he was original and funny

One less scat lover good start

jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Stuck in the middle"
> by,
> Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
>
>
> Well, I don't know why I can't poop tonight
> I got the feeling that something in my ass ain't
> right
> I'm so scared in case I poop in my underwear,
> And I'm wondering how I'll get a clean pair
>
> Tub to the left of me, sink to the right,
> Here I am, stuck in the middle tryin to poo
>
> Yes, I'm stuck in the middle tryin to poo,
> And I'm wondering what it is I should do
> It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
> Losing control, and I might shit all over the
> place
>
> Tub to the left of me, sink to the right,
> Here I am, stuck in the middle tryin to poo.

best of brown onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> jhonny bravo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "Stuck in the middle"
> > by,
> > Jhonny Bravo
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Well, I don't know why I can't poop tonight
> > I got the feeling that something in my ass
> ain't
> > right
> > I'm so scared in case I poop in my underwear,
> > And I'm wondering how I'll get a clean pair
> >
> > Tub to the left of me, sink to the right,
> > Here I am, stuck in the middle tryin to poo
> >
> > Yes, I'm stuck in the middle tryin to poo,
> > And I'm wondering what it is I should do
> > It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
> > Losing control, and I might shit all over the
> > place
> >
> > Tub to the left of me, sink to the right,
> > Here I am, stuck in the middle tryin to poo.


Funny shit!

Sorry to see Brown Onion has passed, my condolences to his family.

Hello all, 5am guy here again. 5am guy has agreed to work the entire holiday weekend. 5am guy does not mind because 5am guy has no life whatsoever. 5am guy has also agreed to work 4th of July weekend.
5am guy ate a big ham and cheese omelet with hash browns and toast about 2 hours ago so 5am guy needs to take a dump before the day shift lady gets here at 7:30. 5am guy cannot poop if there is anyone in the building.
5am guy wishes everyone a nice elimination this morning!

Eggs and cheese my poor bowels!

Here at tha jiffy lube we have been goin hard all day. I am just now takin lunch. The boss said we are on track to set us a store record taday an he iz askin me to either stay late or come in tomorrow on my day off or both.
I am tired an my bowelz are not feelin too good but I feel lucky ta have this job an I am going ta do whatever I am asked.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here at tha jiffy lube we have been goin hard all
> day. I am just now takin lunch. The boss said we
> are on track to set us a store record taday an he
> iz askin me to either stay late or come in
> tomorrow on my day off or both.
> I am tired an my bowelz are not feelin too good
> but I feel lucky ta have this job an I am going ta
> do whatever I am asked.


Good attitude but you would find relief with a board certified GI.

My dining room is a fetid mess.

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dining room is a fetid mess.


Sorry about that splat. I would be happy to help you cleen that up.

I haz ta work 8 till noon taday an it supposed ta be my day off. My roommate and some nice girlz that live across that street says they will have hamburgerz an hotdogz an ice cold bud light in bottlez waitin for me when I gets home from work. They are so nice to me.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Splatter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My dining room is a fetid mess.
>
>
> Sorry about that splat. I would be happy to help
> you cleen that up.
>
> I haz ta work 8 till noon taday an it supposed ta
> be my day off. My roommate and some nice girlz
> that live across that street says they will have
> hamburgerz an hotdogz an ice cold bud light in
> bottlez waitin for me when I gets home from work.
> They are so nice to me.


Happy Memorial day weekend BiB's! Red, I hope you enjoy your afternoon, you deserve a break after working so hard. I have been getting oil changes at Jiffy lube here in Harrisonburg and I have started giving each guy who works on my vehicles a few dollars in tips.
Those of us who are lucky enough to live in this country and have a job and a car and a comfortable place to sleep at night are living in luxury compared to most of the people on this planet. We owe it all to the incredible men and women who were willing to serve in our military.

I feel like a big one is coming on. You know how scientists used a Fujita scale for tornadoes? Best guess got an F4 rolling down the pipes and it's going to cause an audible scream. I don't like these big challenging ones but time to grunt.

I iz drunk. I ate a hamburger an a hot dawg an some coleslaw an 8 budlights.
my azz is gonna be in trouble. A coupla more beerz an I'm goin ta bed!

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I iz drunk. I ate a hamburger an a hot dawg an
> some coleslaw an 8 budlights.
> my azz is gonna be in trouble. A coupla more beerz
> an I'm goin ta bed!


That sounds very bad. Danger.

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Spiros service was lovely. I miss my brother and
> along with our younger brother grieve this loss.
> Thank you very much for your kind words about
> Spiro and at his service in lieu of flowers, very
> grateful for $5,000 to IBS related research.
> Matilda


Can you please tell me where hes gravesite is so me and my homies can come take a big shit on it?

Man o man I done dropped the mother load thiz morning! I feelz good!

Jose Gonzales Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Spiros service was lovely. I miss my brother
> and
> > along with our younger brother grieve this
> loss.
> > Thank you very much for your kind words about
> > Spiro and at his service in lieu of flowers,
> very
> > grateful for $5,000 to IBS related research.
> > Matilda
>
>
> Can you please tell me where hes gravesite is so
> me and my homies can come take a big shit on it?

Superior bowel types trying to oppress a fallen brother - for shame. btw how are your bowels?

My Dad started drinking beer and grilling food yesterday at 1pm. He and some of the neighbors were drinking and cooking all day till like 10pm. My Mom had to go get more beer at 7-11 because she was the only one around who was not drunk.

My Dad slept late and is now at the store getting more beer, more food and more charcoal. He is going to do it all again when he gets home.

Memorial day is a bad day for bowels. Thanksgiving and Super bowl Sunday are hard on bowels too.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My Dad started drinking beer and grilling food
> yesterday at 1pm. He and some of the neighbors
> were drinking and cooking all day till like 10pm.
> My Mom had to go get more beer at 7-11 because she
> was the only one around who was not drunk.
>
> My Dad slept late and is now at the store getting
> more beer, more food and more charcoal. He is
> going to do it all again when he gets home.
>
> Memorial day is a bad day for bowels. Thanksgiving
> and Super bowl Sunday are hard on bowels too.

These are bad events for our bowels. A to F grade how are your fathers bowels?

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> spring onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My Dad started drinking beer and grilling food
> > yesterday at 1pm. He and some of the neighbors
> > were drinking and cooking all day till like
> 10pm.
> > My Mom had to go get more beer at 7-11 because
> she
> > was the only one around who was not drunk.
> >
> > My Dad slept late and is now at the store
> getting
> > more beer, more food and more charcoal. He is
> > going to do it all again when he gets home.
> >
> > Memorial day is a bad day for bowels.
> Thanksgiving
> > and Super bowl Sunday are hard on bowels too.
>
> These are bad events for our bowels. A to F grade
> how are your fathers bowels?


When my Dad got home he grabbed his kindle fire and went straight to the basement bathroom and he has been in there half an hour now. My guess on the grade for his bowels is a D minus.

A mess on the metro car and im embarrassed. To have paramedics respond because of my butt problems is the worst.

Why did I eat triple cheeseburger with fries? My poor bowels pay.

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why did I eat triple cheeseburger with fries? My
> poor bowels pay.


Because youre a mental midget.

Fuck you doctor. All you do is belittling. Complete asshole, you are a asshole!

I dropped a big fat one today. The guy in the stall collapsed after crying. That was a colon cleaner .

Green Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I dropped a big fat one today. The guy in the
> stall collapsed after crying. That was a colon
> cleaner .


5am guy loves those type of poops. 5am guy doesn't get to enjoy them but a couple times a month.

5 am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I dropped a big fat one today. The guy in the
> > stall collapsed after crying. That was a colon
> > cleaner .
>
>
> 5am guy loves those type of poops. 5am guy doesn't
> get to enjoy them but a couple times a month.


I drop semis.

the boss is buyin us all popeye chicken an biscuit fo lunch taday. Thiz could be trouble.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> the boss is buyin us all popeye chicken an biscuit
> fo lunch taday. Thiz could be trouble.


My bowels just clenched.

spring onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Green Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > spring onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > My Dad started drinking beer and grilling
> food
> > > yesterday at 1pm. He and some of the
> neighbors
> > > were drinking and cooking all day till like
> > 10pm.
> > > My Mom had to go get more beer at 7-11
> because
> > she
> > > was the only one around who was not drunk.
> > >
> > > My Dad slept late and is now at the store
> > getting
> > > more beer, more food and more charcoal. He is
> > > going to do it all again when he gets home.
> > >
> > > Memorial day is a bad day for bowels.
> > Thanksgiving
> > > and Super bowl Sunday are hard on bowels too.
> >
> > These are bad events for our bowels. A to F
> grade
> > how are your fathers bowels?
>
>
> When my Dad got home he grabbed his kindle fire
> and went straight to the basement bathroom and he
> has been in there half an hour now. My guess on
> the grade for his bowels is a D minus.


your dad is an alcoholic - get yourself to an Alanon meeting

alanon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> spring onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Green Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > spring onion Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > My Dad started drinking beer and grilling
> > food
> > > > yesterday at 1pm. He and some of the
> > neighbors
> > > > were drinking and cooking all day till like
> > > 10pm.
> > > > My Mom had to go get more beer at 7-11
> > because
> > > she
> > > > was the only one around who was not drunk.
> > > >
> > > > My Dad slept late and is now at the store
> > > getting
> > > > more beer, more food and more charcoal. He
> is
> > > > going to do it all again when he gets home.
> > > >
> > > > Memorial day is a bad day for bowels.
> > > Thanksgiving
> > > > and Super bowl Sunday are hard on bowels
> too.
> > >
> > > These are bad events for our bowels. A to F
> > grade
> > > how are your fathers bowels?
> >
> >
> > When my Dad got home he grabbed his kindle fire
> > and went straight to the basement bathroom and
> he
> > has been in there half an hour now. My guess on
> > the grade for his bowels is a D minus.
>
>
> your dad is an alcoholic - get yourself to an
> Alanon meeting

Did the drinking start before or after bowel problems?

Scared going on metro again but baby steps it is.

Damn, Popeyez chicken an dirty rice iz hard to digest.

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Damn, Popeyez chicken an dirty rice iz hard to
> digest.


Yep might drop Tiger Woods and collared greens. Ouch!

Last night I ate elbow macaroni with Prego spaghetti sauce and a spicy Italian sausage with a side of garlic bread. At 3 in the morning my little onion ring was on fire and it burned so bad that I had to call in sick at work. I am just now recovering.

grilled onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Last night I ate elbow macaroni with Prego
> spaghetti sauce and a spicy Italian sausage with a
> side of garlic bread. At 3 in the morning my
> little onion ring was on fire and it burned so bad
> that I had to call in sick at work. I am just now
> recovering.


Your bowels deserve a get well boquet.