Off-Topic :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
I ran into da homeless guy from jiffy lube later today. We went n da Macdonalds restroom an He went ass to mouth on me an then he shit on my chest and I ate it up. He smellz good for a homeless man. It waz a good time but my bowel hurtz now.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ran into da homeless guy from jiffy lube later
> today. We went n da Macdonalds restroom an He went
> ass to mouth on me an then he shit on my chest and
> I ate it up. He smellz good for a homeless man. It
> waz a good time but my bowel hurtz now.
Another impersonation from superior bowel assholes.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
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> Damn, jiffy lube iz buzy as hell taday. I am
> sittin in my car eatin lunch. Roasted chicken on
> rye with tomato slices iz ,I think bowel friendly.
That usually is a decent choice red onion.
Are Saturdays busy, and have you determined which day is the one with the most bowel problems per crapita?
I had a terrible drive today. Got stuck on 66 and instantly felt my asshole erupt. The burning and stinking lingers in my car on my clothes my legs everywhere.
Brown Splatter Wrote:
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> I had a terrible drive today. Got stuck on 66 and
> instantly felt my asshole erupt. The burning and
> stinking lingers in my car on my clothes my legs
> everywhere.
Damn Splat, that iz jus aweful. I hope you made it home to a hot showwer.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Damn, jiffy lube iz buzy as hell taday. I am
> > sittin in my car eatin lunch. Roasted chicken
> on
> > rye with tomato slices iz ,I think bowel
> friendly.
>
>
> That usually is a decent choice red onion.
>
> Are Saturdays busy, and have you determined which
> day is the one with the most bowel problems per
> crapita?
Saturdayz an Fridays are busy an anytime they haz a school holiday. I guess lots ov folks take time off when they kids iz off school. We gets lotz of minivans an SUVz on thoze school holidayz. I am goin home now an I got half a chicken with veggiez in my crock pot waitin for me! Have a good nite all!
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Damn, jiffy lube iz buzy as hell taday. I am
> > > sittin in my car eatin lunch. Roasted chicken
> > on
> > > rye with tomato slices iz ,I think bowel
> > friendly.
> >
> >
> > That usually is a decent choice red onion.
> >
> > Are Saturdays busy, and have you determined
> which
> > day is the one with the most bowel problems per
> > crapita?
>
>
> Saturdayz an Fridays are busy an anytime they haz
> a school holiday. I guess lots ov folks take time
> off when they kids iz off school. We gets lotz of
> minivans an SUVz on thoze school holidayz. I am
> goin home now an I got half a chicken with veggiez
> in my crock pot waitin for me! Have a good nite
> all!
That poor bastard who has groan throne duty. Collecting all the crap from ones booty.
That sounds bowel friendly red onion. How's your starfish after such a meal?
Hard wiper Wrote:
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> Anyone know a place I can pick up large quantities
> of TP at a reasonable price before church starts?
Big Lotz iz a good choice, they have charmin ultra soft. I aint sure about what time they open on sundayz tho.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hard wiper Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anyone know a place I can pick up large
> quantities
> > of TP at a reasonable price before church
> starts?
>
>
> Big Lotz iz a good choice, they have charmin ultra
> soft. I aint sure about what time they open on
> sundayz tho.
Agreed although if you are white expect to be a minority.
Went with Matilda to IHOP and my bowels scream with agony, like a vietcong soldier getting his slant eyed ear removed. While the breakfast itself seemed reasonable, the results speak for themselves. A bloody ripped up fish, yelling at 150 decibels, and a call out to the wetback plumber to fix the groan throne.
I hope he enjoys earning some brown dollars, so he doesn't have to steal fruits and vegetables from Giant.
Brown Onion Wrote:
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> Went with Matilda to IHOP and my bowels scream
> with agony, like a vietcong soldier getting his
> slant eyed ear removed. While the breakfast itself
> seemed reasonable, the results speak for
> themselves. A bloody ripped up fish, yelling at
> 150 decibels, and a call out to the wetback
> plumber to fix the groan throne.
>
> I hope he enjoys earning some brown dollars, so he
> doesn't have to steal fruits and vegetables from
> Giant.
Damn brownonion I think you ought ta get a prison toilet installed at yer house. Thosze things are very hard ta clog an they got a convienint drinking fountain right on tha back.
I just had me a big sloppy movement an took a hot shower. My fish iz feeling good and im feelin fine. Goin shoppin at waltmart now.
"Took me a dump by the dashboard light"
by, Jhonny Bravo
I remember every little thing
As if it happened only yesterday
Parking by the lake
And there was not a restroom in sight
And I never had a turd
Feeling any worse any worse than this one
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Was what I needed to do that night
And now my bowels are oh so close and tight
It never felt so bad, it never felt so tight
And I'm glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon! Hold on tight!
C'mon! Hold on tight!
Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I had to take a dump by the dashboard light
Ain't no doubt about it
I was doubly stressed
Cause I was barely holding on
And my drawers were gonna get messed
Ain't no doubt about it
Baby got to go and shout it
Ain't no doubt about it
I was doubly stressed
Cause I was barely holding on
And my drawers were gonna get messed
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Went with Matilda to IHOP and my bowels scream
> > with agony, like a vietcong soldier getting his
> > slant eyed ear removed. While the breakfast
> itself
> > seemed reasonable, the results speak for
> > themselves. A bloody ripped up fish, yelling
> at
> > 150 decibels, and a call out to the wetback
> > plumber to fix the groan throne.
> >
> > I hope he enjoys earning some brown dollars, so
> he
> > doesn't have to steal fruits and vegetables
> from
> > Giant.
>
>
> Damn brownonion I think you ought ta get a prison
> toilet installed at yer house. Thosze things are
> very hard ta clog an they got a convienint
> drinking fountain right on tha back.
> I just had me a big sloppy movement an took a hot
> shower. My fish iz feeling good and im feelin
> fine. Goin shoppin at waltmart now.
Do you know if there's a surplus store. At least my younger brother Clarence could get a swirly down there as well.
Glad your fish is okay, and try not to run over too many third world savages at Walmart. At least leave a few for me after Antonio gets his lazy ass over here at siesta time.
jhonny bravo Wrote:
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> "Took me a dump by the dashboard light"
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> I remember every little thing
> As if it happened only yesterday
> Parking by the lake
> And there was not a restroom in sight
> And I never had a turd
> Feeling any worse any worse than this one
> Dropping the kids off at the pool
> Was what I needed to do that night
> And now my bowels are oh so close and tight
> It never felt so bad, it never felt so tight
> And I'm glowing like the metal on the edge of a
> knife
> Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
> C'mon! Hold on tight!
> C'mon! Hold on tight!
> Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark
> night
> I had to take a dump by the dashboard light
> Ain't no doubt about it
> I was doubly stressed
> Cause I was barely holding on
> And my drawers were gonna get messed
> Ain't no doubt about it
> Baby got to go and shout it
> Ain't no doubt about it
> I was doubly stressed
> Cause I was barely holding on
> And my drawers were gonna get messed
As someone who's used a knife to cut the basketballs, this is funny.
jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Took me a dump by the dashboard light"
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> I remember every little thing
> As if it happened only yesterday
> Parking by the lake
> And there was not a restroom in sight
> And I never had a turd
> Feeling any worse any worse than this one
> Dropping the kids off at the pool
> Was what I needed to do that night
> And now my bowels are oh so close and tight
> It never felt so bad, it never felt so tight
> And I'm glowing like the metal on the edge of a
> knife
> Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
> C'mon! Hold on tight!
> C'mon! Hold on tight!
> Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark
> night
> I had to take a dump by the dashboard light
> Ain't no doubt about it
> I was doubly stressed
> Cause I was barely holding on
> And my drawers were gonna get messed
> Ain't no doubt about it
> Baby got to go and shout it
> Ain't no doubt about it
> I was doubly stressed
> Cause I was barely holding on
> And my drawers were gonna get messed
You suck. I wouldn't even wipe my ass at a truck stop with this garbage.
Scatman Crothers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> jhonny bravo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "Took me a dump by the dashboard light"
> > by, Jhonny Bravo
> >
> >
> >
> > I remember every little thing
> > As if it happened only yesterday
> > Parking by the lake
> > And there was not a restroom in sight
> > And I never had a turd
> > Feeling any worse any worse than this one
> > Dropping the kids off at the pool
> > Was what I needed to do that night
> > And now my bowels are oh so close and tight
> > It never felt so bad, it never felt so tight
> > And I'm glowing like the metal on the edge of a
> > knife
> > Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
> > C'mon! Hold on tight!
> > C'mon! Hold on tight!
> > Thought it's cold and lonely in the deep dark
> > night
> > I had to take a dump by the dashboard light
> > Ain't no doubt about it
> > I was doubly stressed
> > Cause I was barely holding on
> > And my drawers were gonna get messed
> > Ain't no doubt about it
> > Baby got to go and shout it
> > Ain't no doubt about it
> > I was doubly stressed
> > Cause I was barely holding on
> > And my drawers were gonna get messed
>
> You suck. I wouldn't even wipe my ass at a truck
> stop with this garbage.
How's your butthurt? People in this thread have been ripped apart maligned and treated like Judas.
Let's discuss your bowels. Taking that first step is hard but we are here to help you and your rectum.
dive bomber Wrote:
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> Glad to see more activity here in browntown!
>
> In response to Mr Bravo's latest masterpiece I bet
> that Meatloaf had bowel trouble. He just has that
> look.
Hey dive thank you. How are you and Mrs. Dive doing?
Meatloaf must have. Plus with his name he's probably dropping frigates out of his starfish.
Diced Onion Wrote:
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> Ledo Pixza. Cheese sticks. What am I doing to my
> poor bowels? The pain in my stomach is horrible
It should be. You answered your own question. Stupid.
Man o man I iz having some butt problems now. A nice lady that works fo geek squad gave us som free pizzza an chicken wingz from pizzza hut. We changes tha oil in lotz of geek squad vehiclez. Them Geek squadz people are vury nice.
I ate that pizzza hut food but now I gotz diarrhea fairly bad.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> dive bomber Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Glad to see more activity here in browntown!
> >
> > In response to Mr Bravo's latest masterpiece I
> bet
> > that Meatloaf had bowel trouble. He just has
> that
> > look.
>
>
> Hey dive thank you. How are you and Mrs. Dive
> doing?
>
> Meatloaf must have. Plus with his name he's
> probably dropping frigates out of his starfish.
Hey Brown! We are doing well, Mrs Dive is going to be working just three days a week like me so we are now both semi-retired. I have to keep my state of Virginia job for 7 more years so we can keep health insurance. As you know when you have bowel problems health insurance is very important!
How are you and Matilda doing? I thought about you the other day when we had a lunch meeting for my job at the Wood fired grill, talk about weapons of ass destruction, they have them all at their buffet! I was a good boy and just had the salad, a whole wheat breadstick and a block of jello. As I walked past the fried chicken, ribs and lasagna I thought to myself "WWBOD?"
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Glad to see more activity here in browntown!
> > >
> > > In response to Mr Bravo's latest masterpiece
> I
> > bet
> > > that Meatloaf had bowel trouble. He just has
> > that
> > > look.
> >
> >
> > Hey dive thank you. How are you and Mrs. Dive
> > doing?
> >
> > Meatloaf must have. Plus with his name he's
> > probably dropping frigates out of his starfish.
>
>
> Hey Brown! We are doing well, Mrs Dive is going to
> be working just three days a week like me so we
> are now both semi-retired. I have to keep my state
> of Virginia job for 7 more years so we can keep
> health insurance. As you know when you have bowel
> problems health insurance is very important!
> How are you and Matilda doing? I thought about you
> the other day when we had a lunch meeting for my
> job at the Wood fired grill, talk about weapons of
> ass destruction, they have them all at their
> buffet! I was a good boy and just had the salad, a
> whole wheat breadstick and a block of jello. As I
> walked past the fried chicken, ribs and lasagna I
> thought to myself "WWBOD?"
I had to stay home today. The diarrhea has to be anxiety and diet related. I'm not sure what to do about it. This is causing a lot of problems day to day.
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > dive bomber Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Glad to see more activity here in browntown!
> > >
> > > In response to Mr Bravo's latest masterpiece
> I
> > bet
> > > that Meatloaf had bowel trouble. He just has
> > that
> > > look.
> >
> >
> > Hey dive thank you. How are you and Mrs. Dive
> > doing?
> >
> > Meatloaf must have. Plus with his name he's
> > probably dropping frigates out of his starfish.
>
>
> Hey Brown! We are doing well, Mrs Dive is going to
> be working just three days a week like me so we
> are now both semi-retired. I have to keep my state
> of Virginia job for 7 more years so we can keep
> health insurance. As you know when you have bowel
> problems health insurance is very important!
> How are you and Matilda doing? I thought about you
> the other day when we had a lunch meeting for my
> job at the Wood fired grill, talk about weapons of
> ass destruction, they have them all at their
> buffet! I was a good boy and just had the salad, a
> whole wheat breadstick and a block of jello. As I
> walked past the fried chicken, ribs and lasagna I
> thought to myself "WWBOD?"
Oh dear, stay clear completely of such place as my rectum would hang out causing me to whistle while walking.
You are to be commended for your bowel discipline. Based upon your food choices, did you and Mrs Dive discuss bowel issues based upon what you were eating. I think a good law would at buffets to have bowel or non bowel friendly signs over each food items.
Matilda is doing pretty good. She should be joining me at First Watch for breakfast after I run over a few illegal rapists from south of the border. She's suggesting since it's been several years since my Ethel died that I start dating again. The thought makes my bowels churn.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Went with Matilda to IHOP and my bowels scream
> with agony, my sister fucked me in the ass with a XXL dildolike a vietcong soldier getting his
> slant eyed ear removed. Im a racistWhile the breakfast itself
> seemed reasonable, the results speak for
> themselves. A bloody ripped up fish, yelling at
> 150 decibels, Im an ignorant jackass and eat food that would clog a sink disposaland a call out to the wetback
> plumber to fix the groan throne.
>
> I hope he enjoys earning some brown dollars, so he
> doesn't have to steal fruits and vegetables from
> Giant.Im a racist
Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Morning BiBs!
>
> Hope everyone is having #4#2s today. They
> switched brands of coffee at work today, but it
> still seems to work its magic on my colon.
That's fantastic. Any bowel changes at all or the innards still intact?
Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an lots of fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody brought in a load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the onez with sprinklez on top, man they lookz tasty. Maybe jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an lots of
> fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody brought in a
> load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the onez
> with sprinklez on top, man they lookz tasty. Maybe
> jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while tasty could devastate and crush your bowels like a tin can.
Those sprinkles look good, but do you want to pass a basketball or a midsized SUV?
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an lots
> of
> > fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody brought in
> a
> > load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the
> onez
> > with sprinklez on top, man they lookz tasty.
> Maybe
> > jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
>
>
> Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while tasty
> could devastate and crush your bowels like a tin
> can.
>
> Those sprinkles look good, but do you want to pass
> a basketball or a midsized SUV?
is red onion coming over to your place tonight to paint your face with his shit while fisting Matilda or are you takin it easy tonight and just fingering each others starfish???
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an lots
> of
> > fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody brought in
> a
> > load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the
> onez
> > with sprinklez on top, man they lookz tasty.
> Maybe
> > jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
>
>
> Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while tasty
> could devastate and crush your bowels like a tin
> can.
>
> Those sprinkles look good, but do you want to pass
> a basketball or a midsized SUV?
I waz about ta give in an eat a donut but a herd of hispanic landscapers brought three truckz in fo oil change an they ate them all. They looked like a pack ov wild dogz tearin apart a freshly killed carabou. Then thoze guyz messed up tha bathroom real bad an left muddy footprints everywheres. I had panera salad fo lunch with no meat cauz taday is Friday durin lent.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an
> lots
> > of
> > > fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody brought
> in
> > a
> > > load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the
> > onez
> > > with sprinklez on top, man they lookz tasty.
> > Maybe
> > > jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
> >
> >
> > Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while tasty
> > could devastate and crush your bowels like a
> tin
> > can.
> >
> > Those sprinkles look good, but do you want to
> pass
> > a basketball or a midsized SUV?
>
>
> I waz about ta give in an eat a donut but a herd
> of hispanic landscapers brought three truckz in fo
> oil change an they ate them all. They looked like
> a pack ov wild dogz tearin apart a freshly killed
> carabou. Then thoze guyz messed up tha bathroom
> real bad an left muddy footprints everywheres. I
> had panera salad fo lunch with no meat cauz taday
> is Friday durin lent.
Hopefully the Trump wagons are following these savages to be apprehended.
I iz up early taday an goin back ta work at jiffy lube. I shore do wish I could have me a funner job but jobz are very hard ta find when you iz a convicted felon like I am. I haz been eatin a type of bread made by Arnold bakereyz called Health nut bread. Its got some seeds an crushed nutz baked right in ta the bread. I likes it a lot an it don't seem ta bother my bowelz.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain an
> > lots
> > > of
> > > > fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody
> brought
> > in
> > > a
> > > > load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at the
> > > onez
> > > > with sprinklez on top, man they lookz
> tasty.
> > > Maybe
> > > > jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
> > >
> > >
> > > Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while
> tasty
> > > could devastate and crush your bowels like a
> > tin
> > > can.
> > >
> > > Those sprinkles look good, but do you want to
> > pass
> > > a basketball or a midsized SUV?
> >
> >
> > I waz about ta give in an eat a donut but a
> herd
> > of hispanic landscapers brought three truckz in
> fo
> > oil change an they ate them all. They looked
> like
> > a pack ov wild dogz tearin apart a freshly
> killed
> > carabou. Then thoze guyz messed up tha bathroom
> > real bad an left muddy footprints everywheres.
> I
> > had panera salad fo lunch with no meat cauz
> taday
> > is Friday durin lent.
>
>
> Hopefully the Trump wagons are following these
> savages to be apprehended.
You dumbass - trump has no wagons, or armies or 1/1000th the capacity needed to detain and deport illegal immigrants. It will take 2-4 years to vet, hire and train additional border agents for the pipe dream wall. It would take much longer to get rid of 11 million people.
Why not just play with your own shit and let the grown-ups deal with problems in the real world?
play with your own shit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Brown Onion Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > >
> > > > -----
> > > > > Man o man work suckz taday. Pourin rain
> an
> > > lots
> > > > of
> > > > > fleet work truckz commin in. Sombody
> > brought
> > > in
> > > > a
> > > > > load of dunkin donutz. I keep lookin at
> the
> > > > onez
> > > > > with sprinklez on top, man they lookz
> > tasty.
> > > > Maybe
> > > > > jus one wouldnt hurt mt bowelz too much.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Danger Will Robinson! Those donuts while
> > tasty
> > > > could devastate and crush your bowels like
> a
> > > tin
> > > > can.
> > > >
> > > > Those sprinkles look good, but do you want
> to
> > > pass
> > > > a basketball or a midsized SUV?
> > >
> > >
> > > I waz about ta give in an eat a donut but a
> > herd
> > > of hispanic landscapers brought three truckz
> in
> > fo
> > > oil change an they ate them all. They looked
> > like
> > > a pack ov wild dogz tearin apart a freshly
> > killed
> > > carabou. Then thoze guyz messed up tha
> bathroom
> > > real bad an left muddy footprints
> everywheres.
> > I
> > > had panera salad fo lunch with no meat cauz
> > taday
> > > is Friday durin lent.
> >
> >
> > Hopefully the Trump wagons are following these
> > savages to be apprehended.
>
> You dumbass - trump has no wagons, or armies or
> 1/1000th the capacity needed to detain and deport
> illegal immigrants. It will take 2-4 years to
> vet, hire and train additional border agents for
> the pipe dream wall. It would take much longer to
> get rid of 11 million people.
>
> Why not just play with your own shit and let the
> grown-ups deal with problems in the real world?
Jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "My bowels really want to hurt me"
>
>
> by, Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
>
> Big wide turds that really burn me
> I just want ask you why
> My poor starfish is burning
> For a colostomy I am yearning
> Precious people always tell me
> That's a step a step too far
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
>
> I don't know how I got the notion
> That pizza hut was having a sales promotion
> That food caused a digestive commotion
> Now my bowels are churning in slow motion
>
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
> My bowels really want to hurt me
> My bowels really want to make me cry
Well I guess I waz rewarded for a week ov eating rite. Thiz mornin at 608am I had me a perfect poop, it waz real close to a numba 4 on the briztol guide. In a little while I iz goin to potomac millz mall ta try on some skeetcherz safety toe shoes with memory foam insides them. Everybody at jiffy lube loves em so I iz gonna give em a try too.
I am spending the day in my recliner near the groan throne. I was in a bad accident yesterday evening. I was driving my Dad's old Mercury that I inherited from him and it somehow veered into the drive-thru at burger king. I ordered a whopper cheese meal and when I pulled into a nearby shopping mall parking lot to devour this morsel of rectal apocalypse I discovered that they accidently gave me a double whopper with cheese! God help me I ate it all, the fries too!
When I got home I confessed my sin to Mrs Dive. She shook her head and began to extract the worn out beach towels from the bottom of the linen closet to cover the floor in my bathroom and placed extra Charmin and clean underwear on the tank lid then she went upstairs and told me to text her if I needed anything at all. It was a long night but I think the worst is over, Mrs Dive just brought me a big insulated mug of iced gatorade.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well I guess I waz rewarded for a week ov eating
> rite. Thiz mornin at 608am I had me a perfect
> poop, it waz real close to a numba 4 on the
> briztol guide. In a little while I iz goin to
> potomac millz mall ta try on some skeetcherz
> safety toe shoes with memory foam insides them.
> Everybody at jiffy lube loves em so I iz gonna
> give em a try too.
Red,
I love those memory foam shoes. I have been wearing them for 2 years now and they are well worth it. Good luck!
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Actually very talented.
>
> Mr Bravo deserves a Grammy award.
no he is not at all talented. Just a scat freak like you Onion. Has Matilda cleaned up all the shit stains from your weekend perversions? Did she get fisted while you had someone shit in your mouth?
dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am spending the day in my recliner near the
> groan throne. I was in a bad accident yesterday
> evening. I was driving my Dad's old Mercury that I
> inherited from him and it somehow veered into the
> drive-thru at burger king. I ordered a whopper
> cheese meal and when I pulled into a nearby
> shopping mall parking lot to devour this morsel of
> rectal apocalypse I discovered that they
> accidently gave me a double whopper with cheese!
> God help me I ate it all, the fries too!
> When I got home I confessed my sin to Mrs Dive.
> She shook her head and began to extract the worn
> out beach towels from the bottom of the linen
> closet to cover the floor in my bathroom and
> placed extra Charmin and clean underwear on the
> tank lid then she went upstairs and told me to
> text her if I needed anything at all. It was a
> long night but I think the worst is over, Mrs Dive
> just brought me a big insulated mug of iced
> gatorade.
You have a keeper for a wife dive.
Hope your bowels are doing better, about to unload a napalm basketball.
Hi all. 5 am guy checking in again. 5 am guy has just worked the whole weekend and now has the next two nights off.
5 am guy is getting lots of use out of his portable washlet device that he bought from Amazon. 5 am guy now owns two portable washlets. They keep 5 am guys ass really clean. 5 am guy highly recommends the device.
5 am guy would like to extend best wishes to all the brown brothers out there and remember to not let the brown get you down. May your time on the bowl help cleanse your soul.
Man o man i done dropped a normal load tady again. I iz on a roll. I got me some money saved an i am agoin to that new cabelaz store to get me some campin suppliez. I am gonna try my hand at some campin in a couple weekz. Gonna spend 4 nights in tha backwoods of tha george washinton forest. My roomate iz gonna drop me off in tha woodz an i iz gonna backpack in a coupla milez an set up camp near a fishin stream. I will be like that survivor man on tha tv except i iz gonna have a tent an a stove an some freeze dry food plus a sleepin bag an foam mattresz. Hopin i can get me some fish with my zebco rod n reel.
Well you're a real tough butthole with a long history
Of making little farts like the one in me
That's okay, let's see how you do it
Pull down you pants, let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shit
Why don't you hit me with your best shit
Hit me with your best shit
Poo away
You come on with it, come on
You don't fight fair
That's okay, see if I care
Knock me down, my butts in pain
I get right back on my toilet again
Hit me with your best shit
Why don't you hit me with your best shit
Hit me with your best shit
Poo away
5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all. 5 am guy checking in again. 5 am guy has
> just worked the whole weekend and now has the next
> two nights off.
> 5 am guy is getting lots of use out of his
> portable washlet device that he bought from
> Amazon. 5 am guy now owns two portable washlets.
> They keep 5 am guys ass really clean. 5 am guy
> highly recommends the device.
>
> 5 am guy would like to extend best wishes to all
> the brown brothers out there and remember to not
> let the brown get you down. May your time on the
> bowl help cleanse your soul.
5am guy you need good mental help. Please seek attention right away.
You ain't nothin' but a brown log
Floatin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a brown log
Floatin' all the time
Well, you ain't never been flushed and you ain't no friend of mine
Well they said you came from my ass
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah they said you came from my ass
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never Been flushed and you ain't no friend of mine
Elvis Presley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You ain't nothin' but a brown log
> Floatin' all the time
> You ain't nothin' but a brown log
> Floatin' all the time
> Well, you ain't never been flushed and you ain't
> no friend of mine
> Well they said you came from my ass
> Well, that was just a lie
> Yeah they said you came from my ass
> Well, that was just a lie
> Well, you ain't never Been flushed and you ain't
> no friend of mine
This makes me happy and sad. Bittersweet bowel ending for the king who lost his life perched on the groan throne.
Splatter would you like the number to the hazmat team?
Jhonny Bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "California shittin'"
> by Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
> My underwear is brown (My underwear is brown)
> And the sky is gray (and the sky is gray)
> I just shit my pants (I just shit my pants)
> On a winter's day (on a winter's day)
>
> I'd have made it to the throne (I'd have made it
> to the throne)
> If I was in L.A. (if I was in L.A.)
> California shittin' (California shittin')
> On such a winter's day
>
> Stopped into a church
> I passed along the way
> Well, I ran into their restroom (ran into their
> restroom)
> And threw my briefs away (I threw my briefs away)
>
> You know the preacher smelled the stench (preacher
> smelled the stench)
> He knows It's gonna stay (knows It's gonna stay)
> California shittin' (California shittin')
> On such a winter's day............
Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just wish I could avoid eating chicken wings from
> bon Chon as my bowels pay for it.
Please, enter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> sick people here - dont need help with your bowels
> you need medication for your sick brains.
Anon dick writing for sure.
Then again you have to pay him to be sodomized in the name of medicine.
Have you ever been up in stirrups with your starfish exposed? A rectal mirror under the chair and a cold sociopathic doctor with thick fingers prying your bowels?
Until you sit in this chair you can't say shit.
Going to work on these cement bags. Brace for impact.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Please, enter Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > sick people here - dont need help with your
> bowels
> > you need medication for your sick brains.
>
>
> Anon dick writing for sure.
>
> Then again you have to pay him to be sodomized in
> the name of medicine.
>
> Have you ever been up in stirrups with your
> starfish exposed? A rectal mirror under the chair
> and a cold sociopathic doctor with thick fingers
> prying your bowels?
>
> Until you sit in this chair you can't say shit.
>
> Going to work on these cement bags. Brace for
> impact.
no, not anon and no, I have never lived your anal fantasies. Sorry, Im a hetero with a wife of 30 years and beautiful family. Im not like you Onion, Im happy and I certainly do not get pleasure from anal stimulation nor from feces (mine or other's). Sorry I cannot fulfill your wish to discuss fingers, starfishes midwives etc.
Why not have Matilda fix you a nice cup of tea and you can discuss feces and racism together till God mercifully take you both?
a nice cup of tea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Please, enter Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > sick people here - dont need help with your
> > bowels
> > > you need medication for your sick brains.
> >
> >
> > Anon dick writing for sure.
> >
> > Then again you have to pay him to be sodomized
> in
> > the name of medicine.
> >
> > Have you ever been up in stirrups with your
> > starfish exposed? A rectal mirror under the
> chair
> > and a cold sociopathic doctor with thick
> fingers
> > prying your bowels?
> >
> > Until you sit in this chair you can't say shit.
> >
> > Going to work on these cement bags. Brace for
> > impact.
>
> no, not anon and no, I have never lived your anal
> fantasies. Sorry, Im a hetero with a wife of 30
> years and beautiful family. Im not like you
> Onion, Im happy and I certainly do not get
> pleasure from anal stimulation nor from feces
> (mine or other's). Sorry I cannot fulfill your
> wish to discuss fingers, starfishes midwives etc.
>
>
> Why not have Matilda fix you a nice cup of tea and
> you can discuss feces and racism together till God
> mercifully take you both?
Speaking of Matilda, she's giving some wetbacks money to wash her car and clean her soiled seats.
What a mess in the house. I got up and crapped all over the living room carpets. This is a disaster. A complete disaster. Frustrated that my stomach gets upset so easily and not sure what to do here. I called out of work and guessing the carpets need to be thrown away.
Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just wish I could avoid eating chicken wings from
> bon Chon as my bowels pay for it.
I like them bonchonz spicy legz. I mite get me a six pack of em on Sunday. They messes up my bowelz but not too bad. Hope you iz doin better diced.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Diced Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Just wish I could avoid eating chicken wings
> from
> > bon Chon as my bowels pay for it.
>
>
> I like them bonchonz spicy legz. I mite get me a
> six pack of em on Sunday. They messes up my bowelz
> but not too bad. Hope you iz doin better diced.
Bon Chon. Is it worth it Red Onion? I worry about your bowels. Very much so.
Getting ready to get my ass on the groan throne. Midwives might need to wear clothes pins on their noses as bean salad was a bad decision.
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Diced Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Just wish I could avoid eating chicken wings
> > from
> > > bon Chon as my bowels pay for it.
> >
> >
> > I like them bonchonz spicy legz. I mite get me
> a
> > six pack of em on Sunday. They messes up my
> bowelz
> > but not too bad. Hope you iz doin better diced.
>
>
> Bon Chon. Is it worth it Red Onion? I worry about
> your bowels. Very much so.
>
> Getting ready to get my ass on the groan throne.
> Midwives might need to wear clothes pins on their
> noses as bean salad was a bad decision.
Oh man Oh man brownonions, bean salad iz not the thing to be eatin except in small servings. I know that's you got ta enjoy yer diet though. God bless you brownonion.
Code for - 'please come over Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > How's your starfish red?
>
>
> Code for - 'please come over tonight, Matilda has
> set out the plastic tarps and kitty litter. Dont
> forget to have a very large lunch :)'
Gee dude. Or bitch whatever you are. These people are literally suffering and have a right to express their pains. Perhaps you could be supportive.
So bye, bye, Miss American Poo
Drove my Chevy to the toilet but the toilet was clogged
And them good ole boys were drinking prune juice n' oil
Singin' this'll be the day that I poop
This'll be the day that I poop
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How's your starfish red?
It iz a little sore rite now. When I getz home from work later taday I am gonna soak in the baftub for a hour or more while drinking ice cold millers high lifes in canz. That alwayz helps my fish.
red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > How's your starfish red?
>
>
> It iz a little sore rite now. When I getz home
> from work later taday I am gonna soak in the
> baftub for a hour or more while drinking ice cold
> millers high lifes in canz. That alwayz helps my
> fish.
>
> How you doin brownonion?
Glad to hear your fish is relatively in one piece.
Let's just say the Crying Game on the groan throne is soon to take place.
Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Code for - 'please come over Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Brown Onion Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > How's your starfish red?
> >
> >
> > Code for - 'please come over tonight, Matilda
> has
> > set out the plastic tarps and kitty litter.
> Dont
> > forget to have a very large lunch :)'
>
>
> Gee dude. Or bitch whatever you are. These people
> are literally suffering and have a right to
> express their pains. Perhaps you could be
> supportive.
be supportive of 'how's your red starfish?' are you fucking kidding me. This isnt an IBS support thread its a scat fetish thread you dimwit.