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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Supporter
()
Date: September 14, 2014 11:25AM
Your goading of people with IBS, probably leads to I can't say his name being as controversial as they are. You don't have to agree with what they post I don't always, but you could be more supportive and less of an asshole.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 15, 2014 03:04PM
Someone gets it.
Thank you because while my intestines, and bowels for that matter have failed to deliver the doctor, it's time with my new midwife for such a birthing experience.
No C Sections have been needed, although my pain could be similar to the end result of a pregnancy. Quite often that has helped me empathize with gravid women.
Thank you because while my intestines, and bowels for that matter have failed to deliver the doctor, it's time with my new midwife for such a birthing experience.
No C Sections have been needed, although my pain could be similar to the end result of a pregnancy. Quite often that has helped me empathize with gravid women.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 18, 2014 12:45PM
Well if the Wizards need a basketball, I've just provided one.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 19, 2014 09:42AM
PSA of the day, food coloring can change the colors of your bowel movements.
Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when people become most aware of this.
There's nothing better than a green crap for the luck of the Irish.
Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when people become most aware of this.
There's nothing better than a green crap for the luck of the Irish.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Sgt Shit!
()
Date: September 19, 2014 11:55AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> PSA of the day, food coloring can change the
> colors of your bowel movements.
>
> Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when people
> become most aware of this.
>
> There's nothing better than a green crap for the
> luck of the Irish.
You are one sick fuck.
-------------------------------------------------------
> PSA of the day, food coloring can change the
> colors of your bowel movements.
>
> Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when people
> become most aware of this.
>
> There's nothing better than a green crap for the
> luck of the Irish.
You are one sick fuck.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Dr Don't Feed
()
Date: September 19, 2014 01:08PM
Sgt Shit! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > PSA of the day, food coloring can change the
> > colors of your bowel movements.
> >
> > Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when
> people
> > become most aware of this.
> >
> > There's nothing better than a green crap for
> the
> > luck of the Irish.
>
>
> You are one sick fuck.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > PSA of the day, food coloring can change the
> > colors of your bowel movements.
> >
> > Green beer on Saint Patrick's Day, is when
> people
> > become most aware of this.
> >
> > There's nothing better than a green crap for
> the
> > luck of the Irish.
>
>
> You are one sick fuck.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 20, 2014 10:18AM
Excuse me, as there are millions of Americans with bowel issues. There's a lot of people drinking castor oil.
In Fairfax, many have problems from their bowels. This areas level of stress can cause bowel functions, to be thrown around on a brown roller coaster.
Most have the other side of the IBS spectrum, but either way it's not pleasant.
In Fairfax, many have problems from their bowels. This areas level of stress can cause bowel functions, to be thrown around on a brown roller coaster.
Most have the other side of the IBS spectrum, but either way it's not pleasant.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: September 20, 2014 03:21PM
Castor oil is not an effective treatment. Perhaps you should see a GI, get some prescriptions, and see how they fare compared to OTC products that have been on shelves for years.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: September 20, 2014 10:13PM
Why don't you stop this shit?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 21, 2014 03:12PM
As you can clearly see, this doctor and his brethren are assholes. Castor oil is the best thing on the market, when you are crapping out a jack o lantern.
Perhaps the doctor should take a dose of his own medicine, with medieval devices that are at his office.
Black Underwear, I wish you constipation.
Perhaps the doctor should take a dose of his own medicine, with medieval devices that are at his office.
Black Underwear, I wish you constipation.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
fudgepacked69
()
Date: September 22, 2014 12:01AM
THIS is the nastiest thread EVER
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 22, 2014 08:06AM
Live with IBS for a day, then you will understand.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: September 22, 2014 12:40PM
I cannot believe my girlfriend left me. We had a nice dinner at Sbarros. We got in my Yaris. Then my diarrhea started.
She left me.
She left me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 22, 2014 08:06PM
Gordo! Welcome back!
A woman that won't stand next to you despite the sulfur smell, isn't worth her weight in crap.
Although we are on the opposite side of the IBS spectrum, we are brothers in bowel.
A woman that won't stand next to you despite the sulfur smell, isn't worth her weight in crap.
Although we are on the opposite side of the IBS spectrum, we are brothers in bowel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 23, 2014 10:27AM
ISIS, meet my bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: September 25, 2014 08:29AM
I wish my coworkers could stop their bothering me. At my new company it's the same.
The toilet paper rolls, and Mr Poopy Pants drawings on my desk. Can't my coworkers understand I can't help it?
The toilet paper rolls, and Mr Poopy Pants drawings on my desk. Can't my coworkers understand I can't help it?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 25, 2014 01:41PM
Gordo
It's a shame your fellow employees are like that. Yet it's not your fault. I'd bet one of these people have diabetes or a heart condition.
They don't get shit on like we do. Instead of scorn and disdain, they get a green light on everything, along with good medical treatment.
Our bowels have let us down, that is true, but keep promoting the brown with a positive attitude and toilet close by.
It's a shame your fellow employees are like that. Yet it's not your fault. I'd bet one of these people have diabetes or a heart condition.
They don't get shit on like we do. Instead of scorn and disdain, they get a green light on everything, along with good medical treatment.
Our bowels have let us down, that is true, but keep promoting the brown with a positive attitude and toilet close by.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 26, 2014 06:10AM
If only that sulfuric smell, could make it to ISIS camps. They'd give up.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 26, 2014 10:29AM
I think Larry Kings head passed through my rectum. It was an awful morning, but I believe my intestines have been cleared out
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: September 27, 2014 02:13PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish my coworkers could stop their bothering me.
> At my new company it's the same.
>
> The toilet paper rolls, and Mr Poopy Pants
> drawings on my desk. Can't my coworkers understand
> I can't help it?
Until you get to a GI and psychiatrist Gordon, this problem isn't going away. You aren't helping yourself.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish my coworkers could stop their bothering me.
> At my new company it's the same.
>
> The toilet paper rolls, and Mr Poopy Pants
> drawings on my desk. Can't my coworkers understand
> I can't help it?
Until you get to a GI and psychiatrist Gordon, this problem isn't going away. You aren't helping yourself.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2014 02:14PM
Doctor you need a psychiatrist plus a whiff of my bathroom and it's pungent odors.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 28, 2014 07:48PM
Watching political commentary tonight, I believe firmly that Sharon Bulova has IBS.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 30, 2014 10:37AM
Another rejection from the Cleveland Browns.
The NFL has Breast cancer week, where the players wear pink for a cure.
Yet more people have IBS than that disease. The NFL is insensitive, and the Browns disappointed me. Just a simple brown band on players arms, to remind so many fans, of what being in the trenches really describes.
The NFL has Breast cancer week, where the players wear pink for a cure.
Yet more people have IBS than that disease. The NFL is insensitive, and the Browns disappointed me. Just a simple brown band on players arms, to remind so many fans, of what being in the trenches really describes.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: September 30, 2014 10:49AM
I personally believe Roger Goodell has IBS, he is trying to hide this, by not being inclusive with those of us who push footballs out of our rear ends.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 01, 2014 09:29AM
This morning I worry that Ebola is going to get more awareness than IBS.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2014 12:21PM
How can I file a complaint? In Slovakia this would be easy. As much as I love America, it's food and people manners need to improve.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 01, 2014 05:42PM
Gordo the red white and blue is always prevalent, but the brown is left out. I'm sorry you still are being harassed and I wish your bowels could be more cooperative.
Yet it's not your fault. Millions stand with you and I wish we could have a million person walk in DC for those with inferior bowels.
Yet it's not your fault. Millions stand with you and I wish we could have a million person walk in DC for those with inferior bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 02, 2014 08:01AM
Thank you. Sometimes I feel alone. Now a bit better. Just want to work without the coworkers causing stress.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: October 02, 2014 10:42AM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you. Sometimes I feel alone. Now a bit
> better. Just want to work without the coworkers
> causing stress.
Fuck you BEH!
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you. Sometimes I feel alone. Now a bit
> better. Just want to work without the coworkers
> causing stress.
Fuck you BEH!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 03, 2014 08:57AM
Black underwear how are your bowels? You are an asshole.
Gordo just remember we are brethren. Our IBS fives us separate battles, yet we are together on the war. Keep staying cheerful, and don't let your bowels define you.
Gordo just remember we are brethren. Our IBS fives us separate battles, yet we are together on the war. Keep staying cheerful, and don't let your bowels define you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 03, 2014 01:26PM
I just want pizza and a normal life.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 04, 2014 07:32AM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just want pizza and a normal life.
Gordo I want Sophia Lauren, but alas such is life. With your rear ends explosive results, I think it's probably best if you refrain from pizza. If it makes you feel better, pizza causes me to shit out painful basketballs with blood.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just want pizza and a normal life.
Gordo I want Sophia Lauren, but alas such is life. With your rear ends explosive results, I think it's probably best if you refrain from pizza. If it makes you feel better, pizza causes me to shit out painful basketballs with blood.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: October 04, 2014 10:52AM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just want pizza and a normal life.
Gordon, define normal. Until you see a psychiatrist and board certified GI, write ups on this board are not going to help. It would behoove you to get sound medical advice.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just want pizza and a normal life.
Gordon, define normal. Until you see a psychiatrist and board certified GI, write ups on this board are not going to help. It would behoove you to get sound medical advice.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 04, 2014 05:04PM
I wish the doctor extremely horrific bowels.
Gordo don't listen to him. Keep up being you you are good just a leaky butt but good character
Gordo don't listen to him. Keep up being you you are good just a leaky butt but good character
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: October 05, 2014 08:07AM
It goes without saying, that you are probably beyond psychiatric help.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
JD Salisbury
()
Date: October 05, 2014 09:56AM
Does everyone or everything here relate to body functions on this site
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Nats Fan82
()
Date: October 05, 2014 03:29PM
Doug Fister is on the mound tomorrow.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 06, 2014 08:32AM
Well someone is using my name, defying trust and making up subjects about Marijuana, which should be banned unless it helps ones digestive system.
Doug Fister, and other such rude commentary are unhealthy with every bowel related problem.
Doug Fister, and other such rude commentary are unhealthy with every bowel related problem.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 08, 2014 09:57AM
It's bad enough trying to push out a grapefruit, and then the little rug rat grandkids just have to bang on the door.
First of all I have three bathrooms, so those are free to use. Plus they aren't occupied by a man decreasing oxygen in the room.
The good news is after some ice packs, I got frames for the Bristol Stool Guide poster.
First of all I have three bathrooms, so those are free to use. Plus they aren't occupied by a man decreasing oxygen in the room.
The good news is after some ice packs, I got frames for the Bristol Stool Guide poster.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 09, 2014 08:36AM
You take for granted that your bathroom smells like flowers.
Yet mine has an olfactory shock, and that's another misery IBS sufferers go through.
If someone is gagging in my bathroom I do apologize, but there's not much that can be done.
Yet mine has an olfactory shock, and that's another misery IBS sufferers go through.
If someone is gagging in my bathroom I do apologize, but there's not much that can be done.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 10, 2014 09:06AM
For those with IBS, I made a dreadful decision with doritos and coffee.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 10, 2014 02:16PM
I have tried once again, to have IBS Day decreed by Congress. Unfortunately so far no action. I contacted Congressman Connolly's office, describing some of my symptoms. The staff seemed sympathetic to my plight, and told me to write a letter to Mr. Connolly.
There has been no response. Congress has often decreed certain days with proclamations for various causes. I don't expect relief on the throne, that's like my heroin ring kicking chair.
It seems IBS is not in our public consciousness. Tis a shame.
There has been no response. Congress has often decreed certain days with proclamations for various causes. I don't expect relief on the throne, that's like my heroin ring kicking chair.
It seems IBS is not in our public consciousness. Tis a shame.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 13, 2014 08:28AM
When the pope takes a dump, is it a holy shit?
Ladies and gentlemen, please vote for Ed Gillespie as Senator. We discussed bowel issues, and he says he's sorry many endure this, and promised more federal funding of research.
Ladies and gentlemen, please vote for Ed Gillespie as Senator. We discussed bowel issues, and he says he's sorry many endure this, and promised more federal funding of research.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 13, 2014 11:43AM
It's good to be off today. I'm enjoying the holiday being careful what I eat. It's simple Slovakian meals.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 13, 2014 06:29PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good to be off today. I'm enjoying the
> holiday being careful what I eat. It's simple
> Slovakian meals.
Gordo what is Slovakia food like?
My right cheek just fell off
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good to be off today. I'm enjoying the
> holiday being careful what I eat. It's simple
> Slovakian meals.
Gordo what is Slovakia food like?
My right cheek just fell off
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 14, 2014 07:06AM
It appears my rear is going to need triage.
Last night was a profound odor of sulfur, screaming, forehead veins bulging as I gave birth to a brown baby.
I now understand childbirth.
Last night was a profound odor of sulfur, screaming, forehead veins bulging as I gave birth to a brown baby.
I now understand childbirth.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH or Northman
()
Date: October 14, 2014 08:51AM
Why don't you both cornhole each other
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 14, 2014 03:14PM
You take your normal fully functional bowels for granted. I don't know who Northman is, but Miss my brother in bowel BEH.
Karma will strike one day. Your now pristine digestive system will be meeting witch hazel and wet tissues.
Karma will strike one day. Your now pristine digestive system will be meeting witch hazel and wet tissues.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 15, 2014 10:12AM
Well it appears Ebola is the biggest problem right now.
My bowels are far back in national importance.
My bowels are far back in national importance.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 15, 2014 05:01PM
Okay so I've done some reading on Ebola.
One side effect is explosive diarrhea. One has to wonder how much damage this causes the affected persons bowels.
One side effect is explosive diarrhea. One has to wonder how much damage this causes the affected persons bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 16, 2014 10:28AM
My asshole appears to be quite good this morning.
A perfect #4 #2. I think I should frame it, due to it being so rare. Wonder how much I could make on ebay.
A perfect #4 #2. I think I should frame it, due to it being so rare. Wonder how much I could make on ebay.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 17, 2014 07:21AM
Great news from the AARP. Next month's magazine is going to have an article on IBS.
At least finally someone gets it.
At least finally someone gets it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: October 17, 2014 09:56AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Great news from the AARP. Next month's magazine
> is going to have an article on IBS.
>
> At least finally someone gets it.
Let me guess the cover will be shit brown fuck off
-------------------------------------------------------
> Great news from the AARP. Next month's magazine
> is going to have an article on IBS.
>
> At least finally someone gets it.
Let me guess the cover will be shit brown fuck off
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: October 18, 2014 07:45AM
black underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Great news from the AARP. Next month's
> magazine
> > is going to have an article on IBS.
> >
> > At least finally someone gets it.
>
>
> Let me guess the cover will be shit brown fuck off
Why is such coarse language needed? There's a time and place for such obscene words, but such write ups show a lack of profound intellect. It would behoove you, to look at a dictionary perhaps.
If what this user has posted is true, it would be the most mature and productive write up thus far.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Great news from the AARP. Next month's
> magazine
> > is going to have an article on IBS.
> >
> > At least finally someone gets it.
>
>
> Let me guess the cover will be shit brown fuck off
Why is such coarse language needed? There's a time and place for such obscene words, but such write ups show a lack of profound intellect. It would behoove you, to look at a dictionary perhaps.
If what this user has posted is true, it would be the most mature and productive write up thus far.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 18, 2014 10:03AM
It appears the GI and suffering folks have reached detente. That alone is a miracle.
Yet today's going to require another, as my intestines seem to be holding a ready to launch ICBM missile. If there's a large mushroom cloud appears, don't say you weren't warned.
Yet today's going to require another, as my intestines seem to be holding a ready to launch ICBM missile. If there's a large mushroom cloud appears, don't say you weren't warned.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Luke Skywalker- I am your brothe
()
Date: October 19, 2014 12:40PM
If you want a good crap,drink that shit that you have drink before a CT scan.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 19, 2014 03:37PM
Luke Skywalker- I am your brothe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you want a good crap,drink that shit that you
> have drink before a CT scan.
Barium allows me to understand Gordo's woes on the IBS scale.
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you want a good crap,drink that shit that you
> have drink before a CT scan.
Barium allows me to understand Gordo's woes on the IBS scale.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 20, 2014 01:43PM
My rear end looks like a garage.
The best way to describe what landed in the toilet, was Pastor Hale turning into a human from the tequila worm in Poltergeist 2.
Where was that Indian when I needed him?
Alas bring out the pain killers and witch hazel.
The best way to describe what landed in the toilet, was Pastor Hale turning into a human from the tequila worm in Poltergeist 2.
Where was that Indian when I needed him?
Alas bring out the pain killers and witch hazel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 20, 2014 07:30PM
That Epsom salt bath was great.
My rectal dilation has improved, and while worried about dropping the inevitable basketball, my rectum gets a temporary reprieve.
Alas it won't be long as my thirty one feet of intestines, are sending a present down the chute soon.
My rectal dilation has improved, and while worried about dropping the inevitable basketball, my rectum gets a temporary reprieve.
Alas it won't be long as my thirty one feet of intestines, are sending a present down the chute soon.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 21, 2014 07:03AM
I'm sure my rectum looks like goulash after that one.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 21, 2014 11:55AM
The Poopy Pants signs have returned. Maybe
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 22, 2014 09:21AM
I'd like to congratulate Tom Sherwood of NBC 4 for twenty five years of service. He is a very intelligent man, but I believe he has subpar bowels.
If you watch him closely during his reporting, he often shifts his legs, along with his eyes clamming up a bit. I don't think it's a mere coincidence that he usually wears a brown color tie.
It's my hope he will avoid political issues during his broadcast, and discuss his digestive system instead.
If you watch him closely during his reporting, he often shifts his legs, along with his eyes clamming up a bit. I don't think it's a mere coincidence that he usually wears a brown color tie.
It's my hope he will avoid political issues during his broadcast, and discuss his digestive system instead.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 22, 2014 02:24PM
I spend all morning giving birth to a brown monster, and now it appears Canada has had a terrorist event.
These bastards should be forced to sit in my bathroom.
These bastards should be forced to sit in my bathroom.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr Brown Underwear
()
Date: October 22, 2014 05:21PM
All you do is complain. How would you like being incontinent? Think it's fun buying adult diapers at CVS?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 23, 2014 07:57AM
Mr Brown I'm on your side. We have something in common, our poor bowels that set us up for embarrassing situations and profound discomfort.
For what it's worth I'm sorry and hope others are also. Brothers in bowel.
For what it's worth I'm sorry and hope others are also. Brothers in bowel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 23, 2014 08:46AM
All morning my coworkers have been abusing me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: October 23, 2014 09:00AM
Hey gentleman, I am sorry I haven't checked in for a while...
I have an admission, sometimes I will take the tablet onto the shitter with me. When I read a post or two, it get a laugh and a feeling of empathy.
I am sorry the dismay continues, and if I read this thread I probably owe the courtesy of a contribution every so often.
I had an incident late in the Summer after eating just way too much prime rib. I rarely eat red meat and I pride myself and a very healthy diet and a turd tunnel that runs on time. However, this particular protein binge halted all traffic for several days..
I went to an old standby- prune juice. Have you tried it? It doesn't taste great, but about 12 oz and not only was all right again, but I probably cleared the "warehouse" of some "old inventory" that had festered for years.
Even though the clearance event involved approximately four trips to the throne, there were none of the watery, messy events that will quickly sour the mood of a day. I estimate I laid 6 to 8 full sized logs over a short period. Each one would have been an acceptable stand alone morning flushing, consistent, well formed and solid- I was amazed!
It was scary to realize how much crap we are toting around and I was very happy to be rid of it. I was lighter, I felt as if my navel was touching my backbone when done. Felt great!
Prune juice, give it a try.
I have an admission, sometimes I will take the tablet onto the shitter with me. When I read a post or two, it get a laugh and a feeling of empathy.
I am sorry the dismay continues, and if I read this thread I probably owe the courtesy of a contribution every so often.
I had an incident late in the Summer after eating just way too much prime rib. I rarely eat red meat and I pride myself and a very healthy diet and a turd tunnel that runs on time. However, this particular protein binge halted all traffic for several days..
I went to an old standby- prune juice. Have you tried it? It doesn't taste great, but about 12 oz and not only was all right again, but I probably cleared the "warehouse" of some "old inventory" that had festered for years.
Even though the clearance event involved approximately four trips to the throne, there were none of the watery, messy events that will quickly sour the mood of a day. I estimate I laid 6 to 8 full sized logs over a short period. Each one would have been an acceptable stand alone morning flushing, consistent, well formed and solid- I was amazed!
It was scary to realize how much crap we are toting around and I was very happy to be rid of it. I was lighter, I felt as if my navel was touching my backbone when done. Felt great!
Prune juice, give it a try.
idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam
Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.
Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 23, 2014 09:18PM
Here's to hoping your rectum doesn't look like a combination of goulash and hamburger helper.
Mr WingNut, if I may, agree with you that for many prune juice can be helpful.
Alas if I drank it the hazmat team would be sent to my residence. Here's to your bowels making a full recovery from this ordeal.
Mr WingNut, if I may, agree with you that for many prune juice can be helpful.
Alas if I drank it the hazmat team would be sent to my residence. Here's to your bowels making a full recovery from this ordeal.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 24, 2014 07:56AM
No sign of anal prolapse, but this morning started off quite painful. To my neighbors I apologize for both the screaming and kicking on the floor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 24, 2014 02:37PM
I made a terrible mistake, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Texas Toast with cheese, along with sugar filled coffee, made a product I would like to not repeat.
If someone saw that, they would think Sasquatch learned how to use a toilet.
Now for a day of fiber and witch hazel.
Texas Toast with cheese, along with sugar filled coffee, made a product I would like to not repeat.
If someone saw that, they would think Sasquatch learned how to use a toilet.
Now for a day of fiber and witch hazel.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Bowelz
()
Date: October 24, 2014 02:59PM
Bowels lmfao! Funny
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Bowelz
()
Date: October 24, 2014 03:00PM
School lunch wood tear your ass up
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 24, 2014 04:40PM
Young whipper smacker,
One day your lower and upper intestine will betray you, in conjunction with your rectum. That garbage you consume called school lunch, will process out of you with severe consequences.
Enjoy your youth. Yet time is not on your side. I look back at the fond memories of school food being Styrofoam pizza on plastic trays. Yet I'm petrified of what would happen if I indulged in such food choices.
One day your lower and upper intestine will betray you, in conjunction with your rectum. That garbage you consume called school lunch, will process out of you with severe consequences.
Enjoy your youth. Yet time is not on your side. I look back at the fond memories of school food being Styrofoam pizza on plastic trays. Yet I'm petrified of what would happen if I indulged in such food choices.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: October 25, 2014 11:57AM
User wingnut please don't encourage such immature write ups.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 25, 2014 06:37PM
The doctor seems to think he's one of us Mr. Nut.
Yet he's nothing, just trying to intrude on an illness he can't cure.
Yet he's nothing, just trying to intrude on an illness he can't cure.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Poop
()
Date: October 25, 2014 06:46PM
This is a shitty thread.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 26, 2014 09:25AM
Actually this is an informative thread about IBS.
Feces or "shit" as you refer to it is the end product of our digestive system.
There are two forms of IBS. I suffer from the one that generates basketball sized poops. Others have the diarrhea version.
Both are highly uncomfortable.
Feces or "shit" as you refer to it is the end product of our digestive system.
There are two forms of IBS. I suffer from the one that generates basketball sized poops. Others have the diarrhea version.
Both are highly uncomfortable.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: October 26, 2014 10:52AM
There are two primary end results for this with IBS,and defecation for many of my patients can be challenging.
Yet I would encourage all with IBS, to first set up an appointment with a GI, instead of reading the drivel like write ups.
A GI can provide professional support and prescriptions to alleviate some symptoms of IBS, along with keeping you up to date on research being done at the University of Illinois.
Yet I would encourage all with IBS, to first set up an appointment with a GI, instead of reading the drivel like write ups.
A GI can provide professional support and prescriptions to alleviate some symptoms of IBS, along with keeping you up to date on research being done at the University of Illinois.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 27, 2014 07:00AM
Yes a GI can help, in making you more miserable. What prescriptions are you talking about? I think you are full of shit, as my intestines feel as if someone is jumping upon them with ice skates.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 27, 2014 12:01PM
After drinking a canister of Metamucil, I can report the best bowel movement ever.
No wiping was required, although at $17 each, sadly the cost per bowel ratio is a bit steep.
No wiping was required, although at $17 each, sadly the cost per bowel ratio is a bit steep.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: October 27, 2014 12:11PM
Bloom, you need to do a juice fast. Purge your system and start fresh.
Eliminate all in your diet that is causing this grief.
Examine the Buddhist principle of mindfulness. Think of your stomach and your asshole when you are eating- sync your palate's quest for tasty food with the agonizing "end" result and punishment that your colon experiences.
Find a happy medium!
It is very difficult to change your dietary habits, but the only thing to do when you are in so much suffering.
Eliminate all in your diet that is causing this grief.
Examine the Buddhist principle of mindfulness. Think of your stomach and your asshole when you are eating- sync your palate's quest for tasty food with the agonizing "end" result and punishment that your colon experiences.
Find a happy medium!
It is very difficult to change your dietary habits, but the only thing to do when you are in so much suffering.
idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam
Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.
Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 27, 2014 02:00PM
Thank you WingNut, although I have a hard time enough without thinking about the Dali Lama on The throne.
Plus while the Buddhist approach of "take care of now, this moment, and all will be okay" is quite good.
Unfortunately IBS is unpredictable, I consider it the fecal version of many card games. It's all in the cards, and a royal flush could mean screaming and crapping out the Titanic's anchor.
Plus while the Buddhist approach of "take care of now, this moment, and all will be okay" is quite good.
Unfortunately IBS is unpredictable, I consider it the fecal version of many card games. It's all in the cards, and a royal flush could mean screaming and crapping out the Titanic's anchor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 28, 2014 09:49AM
I hope my bathroom isn't confused with Three Mile Island or Chernobyl.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: October 28, 2014 09:51AM
Your taste buds, your stomach and your sphincter must work as a team.
What is good eating for one, may be terrible for the other.
Take a holistic approach.
What is good eating for one, may be terrible for the other.
Take a holistic approach.
idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam
Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.
Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 28, 2014 01:24PM
Wingnut, good advice as the peeling wallpaper, is going to be expensive to replace.
They are a team, and the upper and lower intestines do what they should. Yet the sulfuric aromas this morning almost caused one of the Ebola Strike Teams to visit my residence.
It doesn't help when my rugrat grandchildren bang on the door, when my Bombay doors are dropping the fat man and little boy.
If Truman had what I unloaded this morning, two atomic bombs wouldn't have been necessary.
They are a team, and the upper and lower intestines do what they should. Yet the sulfuric aromas this morning almost caused one of the Ebola Strike Teams to visit my residence.
It doesn't help when my rugrat grandchildren bang on the door, when my Bombay doors are dropping the fat man and little boy.
If Truman had what I unloaded this morning, two atomic bombs wouldn't have been necessary.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 29, 2014 09:04AM
It's a good thing that my bathroom is well sealed. Even Pine Sol in massive quantities couldn't rid that room of pain and olfactory horrors. Oh yes the hazmat team might need to come in after giving birth of such hideous repute.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
WingNut
()
Date: October 29, 2014 09:13AM
Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wingnut, good advice as the peeling wallpaper, is
> going to be expensive to replace.
>
> They are a team, and the upper and lower
> intestines do what they should. Yet the sulfuric
> aromas this morning almost caused one of the Ebola
> Strike Teams to visit my residence.
>
> It doesn't help when my rugrat grandchildren bang
> on the door, when my Bombay doors are dropping
> the fat man and little boy.
>
> If Truman had what I unloaded this morning, two
> atomic bombs wouldn't have been necessary.
Let's use the "team" analogy....
You need the equivalent of the Yalta Treaty between your blowhole, your guts and your mouth. Think of your mouth as FDR, your guts as Churchill and your asshole as Stalin.
The superpower is your mouth, and it is the first and most important player. What you eat and what you put into it is of great importance. No matter how hard your gut and your asshole works, they need the protection and cooperation from the most powerful player..
Change your diet and this triumvirate will work with splendid synchronicity.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wingnut, good advice as the peeling wallpaper, is
> going to be expensive to replace.
>
> They are a team, and the upper and lower
> intestines do what they should. Yet the sulfuric
> aromas this morning almost caused one of the Ebola
> Strike Teams to visit my residence.
>
> It doesn't help when my rugrat grandchildren bang
> on the door, when my Bombay doors are dropping
> the fat man and little boy.
>
> If Truman had what I unloaded this morning, two
> atomic bombs wouldn't have been necessary.
Let's use the "team" analogy....
You need the equivalent of the Yalta Treaty between your blowhole, your guts and your mouth. Think of your mouth as FDR, your guts as Churchill and your asshole as Stalin.
The superpower is your mouth, and it is the first and most important player. What you eat and what you put into it is of great importance. No matter how hard your gut and your asshole works, they need the protection and cooperation from the most powerful player..
Change your diet and this triumvirate will work with splendid synchronicity.
idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam
Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.
Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 29, 2014 12:54PM
Now WingNut, that's an impressive analogy regarding the digestive system. I sit back in raw admiration with my witch hazel and bandages.
Hot Springs, FDR's retreat sounds nice, as does a cigar that Winston smoked, as nicotine can help with expediting ones bowels to take care of business.
Hitler had IBS, and I wonder if he didn't, perhaps history would have had a more benevolent, kind Adolf. Stalin definitely had IBS along with psychotic tendencies. He killed 20 million, while screaming and straining in his Black sea dacha.
Your concept is brilliant, but these three guys at Yalta were a bit less tenuous than the shards of the Berlin Wall I gave birth to this morning.
Hot Springs, FDR's retreat sounds nice, as does a cigar that Winston smoked, as nicotine can help with expediting ones bowels to take care of business.
Hitler had IBS, and I wonder if he didn't, perhaps history would have had a more benevolent, kind Adolf. Stalin definitely had IBS along with psychotic tendencies. He killed 20 million, while screaming and straining in his Black sea dacha.
Your concept is brilliant, but these three guys at Yalta were a bit less tenuous than the shards of the Berlin Wall I gave birth to this morning.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr Brown Underwear
()
Date: October 29, 2014 03:00PM
Yeah bitch all you want but you aren't incontinent.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 29, 2014 06:51PM
Mr Brown,
Please take a number 2, and generate a more positive attitude. You are one of us, brother in bowel, despite what seems to be your rectum having seepage.
I am sorry you have this. It's not to minimize the pain, but that jealous astronaut drove cross country in an adult diaper. Think of the advantages compared to pushing out basketball sized stools, or having explosive remnants like Gordo does.
You have to walk a mile in brown shoes to truly understand someone's plight, and I do feel horrible about the discomfort. Do you ever have chafing?
Please take a number 2, and generate a more positive attitude. You are one of us, brother in bowel, despite what seems to be your rectum having seepage.
I am sorry you have this. It's not to minimize the pain, but that jealous astronaut drove cross country in an adult diaper. Think of the advantages compared to pushing out basketball sized stools, or having explosive remnants like Gordo does.
You have to walk a mile in brown shoes to truly understand someone's plight, and I do feel horrible about the discomfort. Do you ever have chafing?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 30, 2014 10:03AM
It's a bad sign, when construction workers at your house, would rather use the dons john.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 30, 2014 12:33PM
Halloween time, and it's time to improve your chances of bowel success. The unrefined sugars in candy bars, and artificial sweetners, do taste quite delicious. You might be tempted to take a lot out of your kids pillow case as they sleep, but choose wisely.
At my house, I hand out Metamucil fiber bars or that brands small packets that can be mixed in water.
That's besides the point. Children can eat more candy than adults. At the worst, they might have a stomach ache. Yet for people 40 and up, eating a bunch of Milky Way and Snickers bars can lead to severe constipation and straining.
Do you think of your lower and upper intestines while devouring that Baby Ruth? If not consider eating one, and leave it at that, so you can truly digest this and have a fulfilling bowel movement.
Those with IBS, don't take the chance. Your intestines and rectum will thank you.
At my house, I hand out Metamucil fiber bars or that brands small packets that can be mixed in water.
That's besides the point. Children can eat more candy than adults. At the worst, they might have a stomach ache. Yet for people 40 and up, eating a bunch of Milky Way and Snickers bars can lead to severe constipation and straining.
Do you think of your lower and upper intestines while devouring that Baby Ruth? If not consider eating one, and leave it at that, so you can truly digest this and have a fulfilling bowel movement.
Those with IBS, don't take the chance. Your intestines and rectum will thank you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 30, 2014 04:09PM
Do you have any way You'd consider making a Toyota Yaris smell better. It's a nice car
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: October 30, 2014 07:52PM
There's other things then shit, getting laid, working, enjoying the mall, being normal fuck you fucksticks
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 31, 2014 08:39AM
With superior bowels, I and many others like those ladies on tampon boxes or commercials, able to do anything.
Yet a good part of each day, is spent in a sulfuric smelling room, biting down on a belt, grasping for air, and pushing out basketballs.
Yet a good part of each day, is spent in a sulfuric smelling room, biting down on a belt, grasping for air, and pushing out basketballs.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 31, 2014 10:28AM
I hope the trick or treaters enjoy the Metamucil fiber bars I'm doling out.
Gordo confined spaces such as bathrooms or cars for that matter, present olfactory challenges. I'd recommend power washing the interior.
Gordo confined spaces such as bathrooms or cars for that matter, present olfactory challenges. I'd recommend power washing the interior.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: October 31, 2014 01:38PM
Well let's just say I just plopped out a Jack O Lantern. Charlie Brown and his great pumpkin, have nothing on that geyser splashing crap.
Castor oil might be added to the basket for tonight, as my rectum looks like the pea soup from the Exorcist.
Castor oil might be added to the basket for tonight, as my rectum looks like the pea soup from the Exorcist.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 01, 2014 08:17AM
Handing out Metamucil to kids trick or treating.
Now you wonder why I bring up seeing a psychiatrist.
Now you wonder why I bring up seeing a psychiatrist.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Blooming Onion
()
Date: November 01, 2014 10:05AM
Doctor, the last time I checked, fiber bars are a lot healthier than Snickers bars.
You really are anal retentive, and families are certainly reading the IBS and Bristol Stool guides I put in the little ones pillow cases and Halloween bags.
You really are anal retentive, and families are certainly reading the IBS and Bristol Stool guides I put in the little ones pillow cases and Halloween bags.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: November 01, 2014 04:08PM
Yes, mothers, fathers, and their children want to learn about the digestive system after Halloween.
Forget a psychiatrist, go to Dominion or Woodburn.
Forget a psychiatrist, go to Dominion or Woodburn.