In breaking news, Eric Bonetti and Mike Smith today purchased multiple homes, one for each of Bonetti’s multiple personalities. Ranging from a small, post-war rambler to a large two-story colonial in Franklin PA, the homes offer space not only for each of Bonetti’s personalities, but for other members of the dreaded Episcopal Terror Network (ETN) as well.

“We’ve also set up a condo association,” said Bonetti at a recent interview. “With such a diverse membership, we believe we model the very best of the Episcopal Church——a big tent for varying ideas, united by liturgy.”

“We also have a vibrant Santeria parish,” Bonetti added, “It’s high church—incense and all!”

Contacted by FFXU, Mike Smith said, “I don’t care which personality lives in which house, as long as one of those dirty rat bastards pays his share of the bills. Meanwhile, I have to hand it to Bob Malm...he recognized early on that I married not one guy, but 9! I shoulda been a bloody Mormon!”

Details as they become available.
Attachments:

Eric-You can buy as many homes as you want but you and Mike both still live at the old two bedroom crib in (redacted). Did we send Maria Butina to seduce Gus and get the info from him? Is there maybe a small webcam pointed at the front door of your building hidden in a nook/cranny of the poolhouse? Is neighborhood busybody Cheryl Dixon on the SIA payroll? Could it even be all of the above?!

Will an actual real police officer gain entry to your building again and... ?

LOL. So who do you think is cooking mom’s meals, changing diapers, and all that fun staff? God knows it’s not her husband.