The Episcopal Liberation Front (ELF) a radical group of former Weathermen and other domestic terrorists, today announced a new terror campaign directed at Episcopal Churches throughout Sugarland.

“Our initiative is intended to liberate the people from the yoke of Episcopal authority,” said Patty Hearse. “In the old days, we needed an AK47, bombs, or other weaponry. But now we’ve learned that a blog can be every bit as effective at reducing the populations to abject terror. Just a few ‘terrorizing and harassing’ posts, and chaos reigns!

“Our new blog was really easy to deploy. We just reposted our reviews of Bob Malm’s sermons, which included words like ‘torture’ and ‘death’ and even ‘crucifixion.’ Next thing you know, all of Sugarland is in a state of panic! We even posted UNC’s losing lax scores!”

Another ELF official added: “It’s really horrific. We even threatened to turn our kids loose, as well as Huggy, the 4-month old puppy belonging to one elderly member of the cell”

“We will not rest until all power rests in the hands of the altar guild!,” said Patty Hearse.
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