My girlfriend and I were walking around Lake Barcroft last week, and it was nice and quiet. We were having a good time, but I told her we had to leave because there were no bathrooms, and I had to go. She told me not to be silly, there was plenty of wooded area, and to just go behind a tree, which I did.

I guess she thought it would be funny to startle me while I was going, but what I didn’t tell her was that I didn’t have to piss - it was diarrhea. The stillness of Columbia Pike was shattered by her screams as she popped out from behind a tree and saw me touching my toes as hot liquid brown goo shot out of me. The relationship is now over, but it was her fault; she shouldn’t have assumed what I needed to do.

bullshit -
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Did you have tissues?

That is nice area, I hear a hurricane messed it up a few year ago. ¡Que Lastima!