I got to the polling station early because I thought it might be busy, and didn’t want to be late for work. There were about 40 people in front of me and the line was moving a bit slowly.

The gurgling in my stomach started when there were about five people in front of me, and the diarrhea commenced when I was next in line. Spurt after putrid spurt erupted from my anus, which stung horribly and caused me to involuntary cry. The liquid shit hitting the ground sounded like the drum and bass of a bad techno song, and two of the people behind me threw up.

All in all, I would rate the voting facility 4/5 stars.

Shitting at a polling place? You must be a democrat.

That story was disgusting. Did you go to work afterwards?

Must be a Republican. Democrats don't "work"...

And there’s also a good chance Shitting Bill is an illegal, since they are encouraged to vote in Fairfax County